Chapter 3
Sitting on the steps separating the mansion from the beach, I rested my eyes on the sea.
I was isolated for lack of a better option.
It was this, or staying out all day, or hiding in my room.
I didn’t want to risk finding the happy little couple tangled together somewhere in the mansion, and even when he was alone, it hurt to see his indifferent gaze. Worse was not even having that.
“Bambina, why are you here alone instead of joining the others?”
Martha sat beside me. In the background, I could hear the voices and laughter of my friends and his troupe, and of course, his own.
“With whom? Heithor and that little woman?”
“With your friends and the boys. Norah already left.”
“Eric is definitely not included in that package, Auntie,” I pointed out grumpily. “And I’m not in the mood to interact with them either, nor do I want to be the third wheel. I just want to stay quiet in my corner.”
“Scusa, cara…”
“No, Auntie… You can stay if you want.”
She smiled, and her arm wrapped around my round waist. “Then we’ll both stay nice and quiet here, admiring the sea and enjoying the cool day, sì?”
I laid my head on her shoulder.
“Have you ever loved, Auntie?”
“Oh, sì! Very much… What? I wasn’t always an old woman.”
“What happened?”
“A choice.” Then she warned, “I hope you have patience and time, because it’s a long story.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Mamma had died three years earlier, and papà was no longer the same. He wanted me to graduate and fought as hard as he could so I could devote myself only to my studies, until we reached the point where it was no longer possible. Pablo, my father, was very ill and couldn’t work.
The help we received from the government wasn’t much, and the little savings he had were running out.
I needed to work if I wanted to have even a minimally dignified life with my father.
So I left school and went to work for the Castellammares.
Papà didn’t like it, but he accepted it.
He knew we couldn’t afford to turn down extra money.
The neighbors we had were good and kind, but depending on third parties wasn’t the life I wanted for myself, nor for my father, who had fought so hard for us to have a decent life. ”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, cara. Working for the Castellammares was the best decision of my life.
Laura, Heithor’s mother, was pregnant with him when I began working for them.
She and Peter were excellent people. After my parents, they were the most honest, generous, and decent people I ever knew in my life.
They always treated me with great affection and respect, made me feel as if I were truly part of the family.
” She paused, her gaze lost as if reliving the memory.
“Although they weren’t rich, they paid me a good salary that, while my father was alive, allowed me to offer him a dignified life. ”
“How old were you?”
“Eighteen. Times were hard, you know, not like today, when everything is easier, though back then money had more value than it does now.”
“It must really have been a very difficult time.”
“Sì. But despite the hardships, that time was good and gave me something very special. Two friends I will carry with me forever, and who left me their most precious possessions.” I followed her gaze, framing Pietra and Heithor sitting side by side in the gazebo.
“At first, I was supposed to live with them. Laura was having a difficult pregnancy and needed someone to help her with the housework, and also to help her personally, but because of my father’s situation, I couldn’t live with them.
Even so, they accepted me and welcomed me into their home.
During the day, I took care of the housework and helped Laura with whatever she needed, and in the late afternoon, as soon as Peter came home from work, I went home to stay with my father.
We kept that routine until the bambino turned one year old, which was when my father died. ”
“I’m sorry, Auntie. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.”
“It’s all right, cara mia. It was a very long time ago.”
“It’s so unfair.”
“Maybe. But there are things that happen because they have to happen. After papà was gone, I moved into their house. Laura was a very patient, understanding woman with an enormous heart. Heithor inherited those qualities from her…”
I huffed a laugh.
Martha stared at me.
“Scusa, but if there’s one thing Heithor is not, it’s anything defined by those words, unless they’ve changed meaning and I don’t know it. He was never any of those things with me.”
“Is that so?”
“He never had much patience with me. Always wanting everything his way, and when he did anything my way, it was because we had negotiated. I don’t need to get into details about understanding, right?”
“I know the bambino is somewhat demanding, and at times may even be considered a hard, bossy man, but with you he was always more patient, cara mia. I don’t know the details of your relationship, but from the little I was able to observe, Heithor always gave in to your whims, no matter how silly they were.
You can’t deny that. Or can you? Understanding?
Well, if you never opened up to him, how could he understand your fears and desires?
No one has the power of divination, Antonella.
If you don’t open up, we can only speculate. ”
“Va bene. You got me, smart lady.”
“And you cannot say he didn’t give you many things without expecting anything in return. Heithor gave you love. Is that little to you?”
I let out a scoff. “It isn’t. But he didn’t exactly offer me his heart on a silver platter expecting nothing back. Deep down, he always expected it. Actually, he always seemed to demand a return, even if he never told me that in words.”
“And did you not give him one? Didn’t you reciprocate even a tiny bit?”
I didn’t answer. She laughed softly.
“I’ll take your silence as a yes.”
“That really doesn’t make any difference anymore. Continue, please.”
The more she spoke, the more I admired the late Mr. and Mrs. Castellammare.
They hadn’t only practically adopted her as a sister, almost a daughter, they had also helped her graduate.
In college, Martha met her first love and ex-fiancé, Lorenzo, a medical student.
They would have married if not for the fatal accident that killed Laura and Peter.
With their deaths, Thor and Pietra were supposed to live with a distant uncle who lived here, but the wretch had died months earlier.
So Aunt Martha had to decide whether to keep the children or let them grow up in an orphanage.
She, of course, chose to stay with them and lost Lorenzo, who did not agree with her decision.
That was also when she discovered that Peter had been saving for her in a bank account half of the salary she had given him to cover her expenses in the house.
Lorenzo had come to enjoy a residency position working with a famous cardiovascular surgeon while Martha had stayed in Italy, taking on the responsibility of caring for two orphaned children.
“He was very selfish.”
“At the time, I thought so too.”
“You don’t anymore?”
“Guarda, Antonella, I was young, not as clever as girls are today, although I had already gone through hard times that taught me life is not a fairy tale with happy endings, like in books and movies. If I wanted something good, a better life, I would have to fight and prove I deserved it. Nothing comes easily, at least not what is truly good and lasting.”
“Gamble always tells me that.”
“Then believe him, cara mia. It is the absolute truth. The thing is, at the time, although I was much more mature than many girls my age, I still carried with me the innocence of golden days. I loved Lorenzo and he loved me, but we were both young, in the prime of life and eager to start our lives together. When I announced that I would stay with the children and he left, I believed he was the most selfish person on the face of the Earth, that he didn’t love me.
Because how could he, the man who said he loved me and wanted to build a family with me, leave me at such an unfortunate moment?
Lorenzo should have supported me and stayed by my side.
But things are not always as we want them.
Today I understand him. He was starting his professional career.
The opportunity he had in his hands was unique, it would launch his career and bring good things for his future.
In that moment, a woman with two already-grown children in tow was too much.
Deep down, I was also selfish for wanting Lorenzo to accept such responsibility.
I even think he was honorable for not taking on something he knew, in that moment, he couldn’t handle. ”
“Does Heithor know this? I mean, I know Pietra has no idea, but what about Heithor?”
“Oh, no, no… At least not the details, and there’s no reason to tell them. The last thing I want is for him to think he and Pietra were a burden in my life when, in truth, it was the opposite. They are the best thing I have.”
“Did you ever regret making that decision?”
“Never.”
“Did you never even think about how it would have been if you had followed Lorenzo?”
“Oh, Antonella! I’m not a woman made only of good thoughts.
I have my bad share too. Of course I thought about how it would have been.
He was the man I loved, the man I dreamed of marrying and almost did, but regret it?
Never! How could I, if that decision was the best I ever made in my entire life?
If I had turned my back on those children at such a crucial and devastating moment, I never would have been happy with Lorenzo, no matter how much love we had for each other.
The weight on my conscience and in my heart would have been too much for me to bear.