Chapter 18 #3
“You can’t throw me out like some mangy dog, Antonella.” I advanced on her. “I’m your man, damn it, and I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Ella lifted her chin, facing me arrogantly.
“Are you going to tell me the truth? If not, you can go to hell right now.”
We were nose to nose.
“Yes, fuck! By God, you aren’t going to get rid of me.”
We had never been like this, at this edge, seething with anger.
Antonella had always challenged me, and that was what had first made me crazy for her.
The savage way she got, her eyes gleaming with storm, made my balls ache with need.
Sadistic, I know. But I loved her for bringing out sides of me that had been imprisoned and many others even I hadn’t known existed.
“I didn’t say I wanted to get rid of you,” she said, angry, her hoarse, furious voice stroking my senses. “I’m just making things easy for you.”
I couldn’t stop my smile.
“Good. Because I wouldn’t allow it anyway,” I snapped smugly. “I agreed to help a friend with a job shortly before we came back.”
“What friend?”
“I can’t give you names, baby, or many details, because that goes against the rules of conduct in my line of work, and I follow them to the letter.
But I’m making an exception today. And, sweetheart, it’s only today.
” I made that clear. “Kyle. He’s the friend.
On Sunday, while I was showering, I got a call from him and couldn’t say no.
I had already given my word before. You have no idea how much I regretted having to bring you back.
I wanted to be alone with you, enjoy our moment. Your belly. You.”
Ella looked at me with suspicion. “If it really was ‘help,’ like you said, why didn’t you tell me about it? I wouldn’t have opposed your work.”
“I don’t like involving you in it, and I don’t want to, even indirectly. The jobs I take aren’t always legal, and even the ones that are have a lot of filth. I don’t want that for you, understand? I know how to deal with the shit. I chose this. But you don’t need to get dirty too.”
“That’s why you didn’t come to the penthouse? That’s why you left today?”
“Yes.”
Ella moved away, thoughtful, pacing back and forth before stopping.
“That still doesn’t explain why you stood me up, or the other things, or the woman. Are there women working with you?”
“One.” I immediately answered her silent question, holding back my smile.
This wasn’t the time for smiles when she still mistrusted me and was lurking, ready to rip off my balls and shove them down my throat.
“It’s not Norah. Risa isn’t a problem for you.
She’s married, and very happily married to one of the men on this operation…
And fuck it, she could be single… I love you…
She was the one you heard the other night.
We were going into action, which is why I couldn’t call. ”
“When you say action, do you mean crossfire?”
I nodded, watching her reaction carefully.
She looked at me fixedly, as if she were putting the pieces together in her mind. Then her face went pale, fear shining in her eyes. I rushed to her side.
“Oh, Dio mio! D-Does that mean I could have become a widow that night while thinking you were a miserable son of a bitch for standing me up?”
“It’s not quite like that, baby. I’m careful so I always come back to you in one piece.”
She huffed, her eyes shining with tears.
“Careful like that time you came here shot? That’s what you call careful? Because if it is, I’m going to get a dictionary right now and tell you the real meaning of the word… And what about the rest?”
“I moved away to take the calls because I didn’t want you to find out and worry for no reason. Everything I did was to keep you from worrying.”
“And the clothes?”
“During one of those actions, I had to go hand-to-hand with the enemy. I got a few marks, so I got dressed and didn’t seek you out even though I was dying to.”
She gasped. I touched her arm, worried.
“Go on,” she asked, pulling herself together as she sat on the bed.
“Ella, love, I think we should leave this for later…”
“No, Heithor. We’re already here, so spill all the shit, because later I don’t want to think or talk about this anymore.”
I pulled up the armchair and sat in front of her, then started to speak.
I ran a hand through my hair and measured my words even more so I wouldn’t alarm her more than she already was. “I’m not going to say there’s no danger, because I’d be lying. But it’s enough for you to know that I take care of myself. I’m trained for what I do. I’m not that easy to take down.”
Ella jumped to her feet, startling me.
“God, things are uglier than you’re telling me, aren’t they?
” I didn’t answer. She sighed hard, her eyes shining again.
“Fine, there’s no reason for you to answer.
The answer is written all over your face.
How do you expect me to feel right now? Happy because you’re letting me know what’s going on?
Or should I kick your ass for putting yourself in danger?
It doesn’t matter whether or not you know how to take care of yourself, whether you had some damn training or not.
You’re in danger and risking your life. Otherwise, you wouldn’t wear a vest. Which means when you leave, I’ll never know whether you’ll come back whole and alive to me and our son.
At any moment, I could be blindsided with funeral news. That doesn’t seem very fair to me.”
I stood and pulled her into my arms to calm her.
“That’s why I didn’t want you to know about any of this shit. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you two because of me.”
Ella freed herself from my arms and looked at me angrily, but she didn’t move away.
“Well, then I suggest you tell this friend of yours you can’t support him anymore, because you have a woman and a child to see born and raise.”
God, I loved her so much. I wanted to kneel and give thanks to God for her.
“Love, I can’t leave him hanging now. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll take care of myself and come back whole to you two. It’s only one more month, and then all of this ends, okay?”
Ella sighed in defeat and relaxed her shoulders.
“All right, Heithor, I got a little worked up,” she bit out.
“But I think I have the right to that. After all, it isn’t easy to hear everything I heard and stay calm…
I won’t put myself between you and your work.
Or make you choose.” She lifted a finger and pointed it at me with a threatening look.
“But let me be clear, you’d better take very good care of yourself, because if you die, I swear to God I’ll resurrect you just to kill you with my own hands in the most painful way you can imagine. ”
I wrapped her in my arms again. “Love, you need to decide. You can’t kill me and want me beside you taking care of our boy.”
Ella hit my chest.
“Don’t joke with me, Heithor! Don’t you dare joke about this!”
“I love you, baby.”
“Promise me you won’t go into the line of fire anymore.”
“Love, I…”
“No, Heithor.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes, but…”
“There’s no ‘but.’ Do you trust me or not?”
“I trust you.”
“Then you know I’ll take care of myself for you and our baby. I can’t promise I’ll stay away from the line of fire. It’s part of my job.”
“I know,” she said sadly.
“I swear on everything sacred that I’ll come back alive to you two, whatever it costs.
Do you understand? You know if there’s one thing I honor, it’s my word, and I’m giving it to you now.
” Ella nodded, sniffling, and I wiped the moisture beneath her eyes with my thumb.
“I’m not going to leave you after I went through hell to win you.
You belong to me until the end, and our end is still a very long way off. ”
“Dio, I love you, but don’t ever do this to me again,” she snapped, clinging to me. “You promised at the penthouse. Honesty.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t lay it out for you sooner and caused you pain. But understand my side, please. Don’t put me in this situation.”
“I’m not asking you to tell me everything.
I understand why you didn’t want to tell me about your work.
I don’t like it, but I understand that you do it to protect me and keep me from worrying, and in a way I agree with you.
I’d be sick with worry if I knew everything.
The honesty we talked about includes this too.
Just tell me what you think I can know. That’s all.
Nothing more, nothing less. I won’t interfere with your work, but don’t expect me to act like a blind fool either. ”
“Heavens, you’re fantastic, you know that?” I squeezed her in my arms, amazed and grateful for the woman in front of me while I rained kisses across her face. “Anything you want, love. Anything… Anything…”
I kissed her hard. Passionately. The kiss grew, and her hand sank into my hair, tugging when she deepened the act. Her sharp nails against my scalp sent shivers down my spine. I grabbed her ass with one hand and used the other to hold her face, my cock pushing against my zipper to reach her.
I tore my mouth to her neck. “Maybe now I should spank your ass for daring to think about leaving me.”
“If anyone here deserves to be spanked, that someone isn’t me, love,” she protested. “And don’t get excited. I didn’t say you’re completely forgiven.”
I pulled back to look at her.
“Damn it, baby, I need you now.”
Ella pushed my chest, and I let her go.