nineteen
To say Paige is pissed would be an understatement. She is more then pissed, she's furious. Nobody else knew about what happened on her birthday, not even Azzi, she was too embarrassed to tell anyone. Getting rejected on your birthday by your best friend who also happens to be the love of your life but you might not be hers? Purely pathetic.
At first, Paige was just sad about it, moping around and avoiding Athena for a few days. But when she learned that the same brunette that was feeling up Athena that night took her out on a date? Paige went into a rage. How dare she? She knows how i feel about her, i think anyways, and she still went out on a date with that 5'9, goofy looking girl that is clearly just trying to get into her pants and i had to learn about said date from Nika?? She couldn't even tell me herself. What the fuck? That's not fair.
She was mad at the world, mad at Athena, mad at the stupid girl from the bar, mad at herself, and even mad at her friends. But Paige had no reason to be mad, Athena wasn't hers. She's not her girlfriend, she's not involved with her in anyway romantically, hell, she probably never would be again, but she was still mad. It was misplaced aggression. Paige built up all this anger at everyone instead of accepting and being happy for Athena. She wanted her for herself.
Athena on the other hand, was feeling slightly guilty. She felt this way because she had rejected Paige on her birthday, her fucking birthday. What kind of horrible person does that? Then again she probably shouldn't have let it get to that point in the first place and pulled away when Paige started kissing her neck but it just...felt so good. It was wrong, but oh did it feel so right in the moment. Now, it was completely wrong.
Athena talked to Alex for a little bit after she sat down next to her, learning that Alex is a senior here at UConn and majoring in family sciences, the same thing Paige is...wonderful. She also learned that Alex was a big soccer fan, and mainly wanted to come over to talk to Athena because she loved her as a player. Alex was a nice girl, she seemed a little bit like Paige, more outgoing and bold then Athena is.
The two spent the rest of the night talking and when Alex asked for Athena's number, she gave it to her without a second thought. Of course, Athena first thought she had just made another friend, but quickly learned that Alex had other intentions. There second conversation over text, Alex asked Athena out on a date, the soccer player agreeing after a long lecture from Ashley on 'letting loose and stop being so closed off.'
The date was nice, Alex took Athena to a nice dinner and then they took a walk through town. While they were walking and talking, Alex grabbed Athena's hand and intertwined their fingers immediately triggering the thought, her hands are so much smoother than Paige's, not softer though.She shook the thought away, not sure why she was thinking about Paige when she was clearly on a date with Alex. Maybe it's because i feel guilty, yeah that's it.
The two arrived back at Alex's car, the taller brunette not opening the door for the shorter and just getting in the driver's side and waiting for Athena. Once both in the car, Alex suggested they go back to her place because her roommate wasn't home and they could just "chill and watch a movie."
Athena politely declined, claiming she was a little tired and also thinking that going back to one of their houses together was more of a 3rd or 4th date thing, or actually being official. Call her cautious but ever since Paige, she hasn't once kissed a girl after the first date, she wanted to make sure they were still interested in her with a second one before doing all that.
Alex sighed but agreed to take Athena back to her apartment. She was definitely not used to not getting what she wanted, usually having the girls she takes out on dates want her the first date but Athena was different. She had to take her time with her. That makes her sound like an asshole player but she's not, just really driven to getting what she wants.
Alex drove back to Athena's apartment, her right hand on the passengers upper thigh the whole way, the tip of her pinky finger peeking into the skirt she was wearing. Athena didn't really mind, just kept her hand on top of Alex's to make sure she stayed where she was and didn't get adventurous. Alex parked the car and waited for Athena to move to get out, when she didn't she took it as an opportunity. She lunged forward and captured Athena's lips in a kiss. That was the lastthing Athena was expecting.
The real reason she didn't move to get out of the car was not because she wanted to kiss Alex, but because for the past few months, every time she was riding in a car with someone, it was Paige and she made for sure that Athena never opened another door. It was instinct to wait for the driver to get out of the car and open her door for her, maybe even walk her to the door, but this is Alex. Not Paige.
Alex is not the same person as Paige, she wasn't the type to take extra time to get out of the car and walk her to the door in the night just to make sure she got in safe, that wasn't her style. Athena has to get used to life with Alex as her main person now, instead of relying of Paige because her date would definitely not be on board with how Paige treated her. She was going to have to set boundaries.
Athena was taken aback by the sudden kiss but didn't deny it, instead welcoming it. She kept her hands to herself, more just using her lips to keep contact with Alex. Thanks to Alex, the kiss soon got heated, her shoving her tongue into Athena's mouth and tightening the grip on her thigh. Athen was just letting her do whatever she wanted and went with it, it's not that it was a bad kiss, just the fact that it was so sudden and Alex didn't even ask for permission to kiss her. Whatever, she'll get used to it.
Alex finally pulled away, a smile on her face then whispering, "are you sure you don't want me to come in?"
Athena laughed, "I'll see you later Alex. Thanks for a nice night, i had fun." She opened the door of the car and got out, shutting it before giving Alex a chance to respond.
As she was walking to her door, she heard Alex pull off and drive away, couldn't have at least waited until i got inside? What if i was getting kidnapped now.Athena opened the door to her apartment and immediately went to her room. She lied to Alex, yes it was a nice night, but she didn't really have fun. Maybe it was just a one time thing and the next one will be better or maybe her standards are just too high and she needs to lower them because no girl will ever meet them.
Athena so badly wanted to text Paige, tell her all about the awful date she just had but they weren't speaking at the moment. Paige was ignoring her and rightfully so, the girl got rejected on her birthday by her best friend, Athena wouldn't speak to Paige if it was the other way round either.
Athena stared at her ceiling for 25 minutes before picking up her phone and texting her.
I know you're not talking to me right now
but i really want to talk to you
can you please come over?
i want to see you
Paige please
I'm sorry
it's been a week and i haven't seen you
superstar i'm going insane without you and it hasn't even been that long
don't do this again please
you're going to have to come over at some point
i still have your clothes and stuff
Speaking of clothes, Athena had changed into a pair of shorts and one of Paige's hoodies, her favorite to be exact.
ill be there in 5
thank you
wait but you live 10 minutes away
fine ill be there in 10
no 5 is fine
too late
u already made it 10
you're so mean
10 minutes later Athena heard the door unlock. She immediately got up, excited because she knew it was Paige. The blonde still had her spare key, so she was able to enter without making Athena answer the door. Paige was going to speed and make it to her apartment in 5 minutes but made it 10 instead to stop for some white roses as an apology.
The two made eye contact from across the room, not saying a word their eyes being able to talk for them. They missed each other, horribly, badly, pathetically, all of the above. Athena sped walked over to Paige, stopping just in front of her and looking at her. Paige was expecting Athena to slap her, maybe yell at her, but she pulled her into a hug. The taller melting into the arms she missed so much this past week.
"I'm so sorry Athena. I know i've said it a lot since we reconnected and i probably need to stop messing things up so i stop saying it but...i'm sorry. We were drunk and it didn't mean anything, it was just a mistake and we got caught up in the moment, it won't happen again. I'm sorry for putting you in that position." Paige broke down, keeping a tight hold on the girl and mumbling into her neck.
"It's ok Paige, i get it. We were drunk and it shouldn't have happened. Just please talk to me again, i'm going insane over here without you." Athena mumbled back, pressed into Paige's shoulder.
Paige just said those exact same words and she meant it...sort of. So why did hearing them from Athena feel like a knife to her heart. Maybe she thought that if she said all that, Athena would realize she was wrong and instead want to be with Paige and get married. Way to get slapped by the cold, hard truth.
Paige released from the hug then holding out the flowers for Athena. Athena accepting them and smiling at Paige while she inhaled the scent of the roses. She took the flowers and put them in a vase, then facing the blonde again and pointing to her room. Paige obeyed her unspoken request, going and getting herself comfortable in Athena's room. Alex would definitelynot approve of this. They were cuddling in Athena's bed, watching a tv show and talking.
"So Nika told me you had a date tonight. How'd that go?" Paige had no interest in this at all, but she was being a good friend. She was going to have to get used to Athena talking about dating other people, so why not try to be supportive.
"Eh, it was alright." Athena responded, more focused on her fingers running up and down Paige's covered abs then talking about her date.
"Define 'alright'"
"I don't know...it wasn't the best but not the worst. There."
"What was so bad about it?" stop, you'll only hurt yourself more.
"She just-...seemed more interested in getting withme instead of getting to knowme, you know?"
"Yeah i know, that's the problem with dating for people like us. People care more about other people knowing they went out with me instead of actually focusing on going out with me...well i'm sorry it didn't work out with Alex."
Hell no she's not.
"Actually i think i might be seeing her again..."
"What? I thought that- what about- what?"
"I know but, she seems nice. She's just got a hard shell, maybe once we go on more dates and become official then we'll become like those happy couples you see in romance movies, or tiktok."
"Oh...great..."
"Something wrong?"
"No, no, nothings wrong."
Athena placed a hand on Paige's stomach to assist her in sitting up, keeping her hand there she persisted, "Paige. I know when you're lying."
"I'm not...ok maybe i am, but i just want you to be careful. Don't get your hopes up about this Alex girl too early because then you'll fall in love too quickly and get heartbroken when it doesn't work out."
"Oh so you think it won't work out with us?!"
"No, that's not what i'm saying. I'm just saying be cautious, i know how you are, and i know how girls like Alex are. I don't want you to get heartbroken...again."
"Ok...I will be," Athena laid back down on Paige, continuing her movements with her fingers, this time placing her hand under Paige's shirt onto her bare skin, "thanks for looking out for me."
"I'm always going to look out for you Athena. Always. Now tell me more about this date, what did y'all do?"
Athena told Paige all about her date, from the good to the bad. Paige's heart was breaking with every sentence she said, but she kept her happy face and urged her to go on.
"Oh! You'll never guess the stupid thing i did once she brought me home."
"What..."
"Ok so we were sitting in her car right and her hand was on my thigh right. Well once well pulled up, i was frozen in my seat and you wanna know why? Because i had gotten so used to riding with you and you always opening my door for me that i literally forgot that not every one does that. So i was stuck in my seat for like 5 minutes."
"Well that's kinda rude, your her date shouldn't she open the door for you?"
"No Paige, chivalry is dead. Anyways since i was just sitting there i guess she took it as a sign that i didn't want to leave so she grabbed my face and kissed me."
"She kissed you?" SHE KISSED YOU?!?
"Yeah, tongue and all."
"Wow." fuck."didn't take you as the kiss on the first date type."
"Oh i'm not, but she kinda sprung it on me so i just went with it."
"So she forced you into it?"
"No! Nothing like that! I mean she did surprise me with it, but i was ok with it."
"Alright and then what?"
"Well she then asked again if i was sure if i didn't want her to come inside, which i'm like 'at least wait until the 3rd date jeez' but she seemed fine when i told her i was sure. Then i got out and she drove off, and now we're here."
Bitch couldn't even wait 'til she got inside?
"Wow. Eventful."
"Right?! Anyway let's watch a movie then go to sleep, i'm exhausted."
"Anything you want."
I hate my life.
----------------------------------------------------
3 1/2 months. That's how long it's been since Athena and Alex's first date. Since then, they went out on 3 more dates, kissing after each one, and finally becoming official on the 5th date. Athena had grown to really like Alex, she thought this could be a good possibility of a future.
Paige though, was struggling. She couldn't get the two of them out of her head, it was like every corner she looked she would see them making out or smiling at each other. It was awful. She tried to be happy, really, but couldn't do it. She saw every mistake Alex made or fight they had and knew she would never do that to Athena.
Everybody knew about her feelings for Athena, how she was so pathetically in love with her, but didn't know the true effect her new relationship had on the blonde. Paige put on an act that she was happy for Athena because she was her best friend but in reality, she would lock her door and cry into her pillow for 45 minutes.
It was suffocating. Here she was, being the perfect best friend for Athena--listening to her rant about Alex, good and bad, respecting the fact she was in a relationship and backed off with her touching, and sticking to their code they made in high school, "always stay best friends, no matter what." Yet all she wanted to do was go back in time and rip that paper to shreds.
Paige wanted an out. A way to stop feeling this way for her best friend, or just be able to stop listening to her talk about 'perfect Alex' for 30 minutes straight. The only thing she could resort to was basketball and hook ups. Everyday she was staying after practice for at least another hour to shoot and try to clear her mind, and when that didn't work, she resorted to the bar. Picking up a new girl every night and bringing her back to her dorm or the other way round. It wasn't healthy, she knew that, but what else could she do. It's not like she had a beautiful, 5'7, perfect, soccer player girlfriend waiting for her when she got home, because she didn't. That was Alex.
Fucking Alex. Why does she get the perfect girl? She's like a nobody, never had Paige once heard about Alex before she entered Athena's life, now she knew everything about her. There was no real reason to hate Alex, actually everyone Athena introduced to her loved her, Paige included. She hated how nice Alex was, and she actually did seem like a good fit for Athena but that doesn't mean she had to like it.
It was a Saturday morning and Paige had just kicked, yet another, girl from a bar out of her room. Paige couldn't even remember her name just that she was drunk and horny. The girl called Paige an asshole, a loser, and slur words that i cannot repeat, then hit Paige with a pillow and stormed out. Paige felt a little bad, she probably shouldn't be using all these girls as a coping mechanism but who was gonna stop her? Azzi was.
Azzi was walking down the hall when an unknown girl shouldered past her and ran out the door, she immediately knew who the culprit was. Barging into Paige's room, she sternly spoke, "What the hell do you think you are you doing?"
"What?" Paige asked, clearly confused.
"Paige that is the 4th girl this week and like the 15th this month who has ran out of here. What is your problem?"
"Don't have one, just..having fun using my status for something useful."
"You're a pig."
"Whatever Azzi. Go away, what i do with my spare time is none of your business."
"Paige this is not ok."
"I don't need a lecture."
"Well you're getting one anyway. You need to stop this. I get that you're going through a tough time right now, with Athena and Alex and stuff, but this is disgusting. You need to clean your act up and get over the fact that they are dating and she doesn't like you like that. It had been months and you didn't even make a single move. I know i said playing the long game would be worth it, but sometimes the long game doesn't work. Grow up and be happy for them."
"Don't act like you know what i'm feeling right now Azzi. Because i can assure you, you don't."
"Oh yeah? Then explain it to me."
"...I'm suffocating. I'm drowning. I am physically dying inside. The girl that i have been in love with since i was 17, who i just got back is in a relationship with someone who doesn't deserve her! Someone who belittles her achievements and makes her doubt who she is without even knowing it, and i can't do anythingabout it except be a supportive friend. She may put on this act with everyone around but she rants to me about their problems. Did you know that after they lost in the national championship Alex literally just said, "tough" and continued talking about something else! Did you know that for her birthday, Alex took her out to a bar with some of her friends and barely spoke to her the entire time, yeah, she left her in a crowded place, all alone!" Paige's voice level was rising, she was almost yelling. Not at Azzi, but because everything she was saying was making her so angry.
"And i did make a move, at the bar during my birthday. We were dancing and drunk and i was being bold and shit, so i grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bathroom. I wanted to kiss her, and i almost did but she stopped me and told me she made her own code to protect her self from me. From me! She made her own fucking code saying that she would never let her get involved with me like that again. After months of building up trust, i tore it back down. I screw up every fucking time and that's why i didn't make another move. Then she found Alex."
"I am trying to be happy i really am but i just can't. I want to get out of this, but i can't. My hands are tied, watching the love of my fucking life be fine in a mediocre relationship instead of being happy in the best relationship she'll ever be in all because of a mistake i made when i was 18! I've ruined her life and i can't do anything about it! So please, do nottell me you what i can and can't do because it is the only thing that is helping at this point."
Paige was crying at this point, tears freely falling down her cheeks and her body starting to shake with the silent sobs she let out. Azzi had no idea this is where this conversation would be going, she had no idea this is how Paige felt. She thought Paige was fine, she seemed fine, except for the extracurricular activities she picked up but thought it would pass.
Azzi walked over to the bed and pulled Paige into a hug, letting the blonde girl cry into her shoulder. "I'm stuck here Azzi...In the friend-zone, because that's all she ever see me as."
"Paige...i didn't know, i'm sorry."
"I wasn't advertising it. I didn't expect you to."
"Sorry for calling you a pig."
"It's ok...i am a pig."
"Well your room sure looks like one."
----------------------------------------------------
It was now February, the month of love. What complete bullshit.
Paige had calmed down with her nightly hook ups, because Azzi insisted instead of going out to a bar and drinking her feelings, she come to her room and talk about them while they play a game or watch a show.
Paige and Athena's relationship was strictly friendship. Alex had made a few comments about the two of them being so close and it being off putting. Athena assured her they were just friends, and have been since they were 12 so that's why they were so close. Alex believed her but still didn't like it, still suggesting- nope, demanding Athena back off of Paige. She said they could still be friends but more like friends who see each other every so often instead of daily.
Athena agreed, being the people pleaser she is. It was a hard talk with Paige, telling her basically that Alex was uncomfortable with the two of them seeing each other so often and she now had to keep her at an arms length or farther. Paige understood, she was a little heartbroken by it but also thought this would give her a chance to start to finally get over Athena. It was almost a blessing in disguise, Alex would back off about Paige and Paige could find love somewhere else, somewhere that's not Alex's girlfriend.
The two became more like friendly co workers then friends. They said hi to each other at group hang outs, Athena mainly hanging onto Alex's arm and the later showing her off like a prized possession, asshole. Paige went on a date or two, it not really working out because of once small problem.
They were starting to separate from each others lives, like they weren't there at all. Alex was a big factor in that, because her insecure ass was convinced they used to date or at least had feelings for each other. Not even in high school, in college, before Alex was in the picture, because she remembered how Athena was staring at Paige that night they met.
Paige still had the spare key, and the ring Athena gave her, not leaving the house without wearing the ring. And Athena still had the similar ring Paige gave her for her birthday, it being the same idea except having 'my hat trick' carved inside instead of superstar.
Valentine's day approached, and Athena was excited. This was the first Vday she had with a girlfriend, her other relationships being timed either before or after it. She had everything planned, she got Alex's favorite chocolates, her favorite flowers, and her favorite food. Once she arrived, Athena couldn't wait to see her reaction and what she had for her.
Alex was surprised and grateful for Athena's gifts, giving her a long kiss and 'trying to show her appreciation' if you know what i mean. Athena pulled away and eagerly asked what she had for her, without trying to sound desperate. Alex just shrugged and said a simple, "nothing, it's just another day." Then leaving the room.
Athena's smile and her heart dropped, she had spent so much time getting all this ready for Alex to show her appreciation for her. She didn't want to be greedy but she was at least expecting a gift card or something.
Speaking of, a knock on the door drew he away from her thoughts. Athena disappointedly answered the door to be surprised by a blonde standing with a bouquet of white roses and some chocolates. Athena greeted her, asking if she wanted to come in. Paige declined, saying she'll only be here a minute and didn't want to intrude on any plans she had with her girlfriend. Yeah right.
"Uh well these are for you. I was debating giving them to you, since we aren't really...uhm anyways yeah, i'll leave y'all alone. Good to see you Athena." Paige handed the flowers and chocolates to Athena, the brunette standing in shock as she accepted them. Paige had just brought her favorite flowers and chocolates after not seeing her for like a month and her own girlfriend brought nothing and just tried get her naked.
"Paige! Wait!" Athena called after Paige, making her turn around and look back at Athena.
"Yeah?"
Athena didn't say anything, just pulled her into the first hug they have shared in months. The two melting into each other, just like always. Things have been so weird between them and they both hated it, this was breaking that cycle. Paige pulled back and smiled down at Athena, looking into her eyes.
And as Athena stared back up into those lethal, blue eyes Paige possesses, she realized something.Something people--her teammates--have been trying to tell her for months, Paige Bueckers is so hot and would definitely treat you right.
Oh!
Oh?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no.