Chapter 24 #2
“Yes. Well, I think I am. Rohan thought I was. I haven’t had a chance to . . . to really explore that side of myself much. You’re a Daddy Dom?”
“Yeah. May was my Little.”
May had been one lucky woman. Devi didn’t know what else to say. She was a bit scared to say anything in case she begged him to look after her.
“Tell me what happened, Devi,” he said.
Right. Sure. That was safer territory than this conversation.
“I had fallen asleep,” she told him.
“You actually slept? You look like you haven’t been sleeping well lately.”
“No, Derick, my father, has been off on a binder the last few days. He does that pretty regularly. He used to drink before Mom died, but not as much. After she died, he started drinking more and more. It’s gotten worse over the years.
When Rohan reached seventeen, he started looking for a way to get us out of that trailer.
His friend Freddy’s dad was the leader of the Black Scorpions.
Rohan did jobs for them, building his way up in the gang.
I hated it but he said it wasn’t that bad and that he was working to get us out.
Rohan isn’t a bad person,” she said desperately.
She didn’t want him to think badly of her brother.
“It’s all right, baby. I learned long ago that not everything is black and white,” he reassured her.
“Right. When he had enough money, he rented an apartment and told Derick I was coming to live with him. I was sixteen by then and Rohan was twenty. Derick said that was only happening if Rohan p-paid him. He wanted his own son to pay him! I told Rohan not to do it, but he did anyway. He paid him some money each week and I went to live with him. At first, it was a shitty apartment in a bad area of town. But it was the happiest I’d been since Mom died.
I was free of him, you know? We lived there a couple of years and when I was eighteen, Rohan stopped the payments to Derick.
He was spitting mad. Turned up at the apartment one day, raging and throwing his weight around.
Rohan pinned him to the floor and told him to get the fuck out.
It was amazing. I was studying art at the community college and working for Mac at night.
Rohan was in deep with the Scorpions, but he kept me out of that.
Eventually, he bought his own apartment and we moved in. ”
“Did Derick leave you alone after that?” he asked.
She sighed. “He didn’t go near Rohan, but sometimes he’d try to come into the Tavern to see me and Mac would have to throw him out.
He’d have some sob story about how he didn’t have money for groceries and stuff.
And if he caught me alone, I’d give him money.
I know it was dumb, but I always felt so guilty.
When Mom . . . when she was in the hospital, she told me that Derick wouldn’t cope well with her death.
She made me promise her that I would take care of him.
I figured giving him some cash was the least I could do. ”
“Your mom shouldn’t have made you promise her that. How old were you when she died?”
“Thirteen.”
“Jesus. It wasn’t your job to look after your father. It was his job to look after you.”
“Yeah, I know. But he’s never been good at that.”
“What happened when your brother was arrested?” he asked.
“I had no choice but to move back in with Derick after selling Rohan’s apartment to pay for Stein’s fees.”
“Did someone recommend Stein to you guys?” he asked.
“Yeah, Freddy did. I wish we hadn’t hired Stein. He cost a fortune. Even after selling everything, I still had to take a second job working for Aaron to help pay the fees. Even after the trial was over, I kept that job because I wanted the extra cash for my exhibition.”
“Your pottery,” he said. “I didn’t know you made pottery.”
“It’s my happy place. When I’m working with clay, on the wheel, I can just forget everything.
I don’t get that any other way. Rohan . .
. he told me that he thought I was a Little.
He and Marcus used to go to this club in Denver and there was a Little room there.
He was going to take me there one day. He’s really protective, though, so he wanted me to explore that side of myself, but he also didn’t want anyone taking advantage of me. ”
“He’s a good brother.”
“The best. But I’ve never felt safe enough to explore that side of myself. I’ve never played or had a Daddy before.”
“I’ve got a lot of experience, but it’s been a while since I took care of a Little. I realize now how much I miss it.”
“Really?” Do not feel hope. It doesn’t mean he wants you.
“Really,” he confirmed. “I enjoy taking control, but more than that, I like taking care of someone else. Someone who needs me.”
Then he must like taking care of her a lot because she was very needy right now.
“You moved back in with Derick?” he asked. “After Rohan went to jail?”
“I shouldn’t have. I should have taken up Mac’s offer or Silla’s.”
“They were here as soon as they found out what happened, by the way,” he told her.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Your friends.”
“Friends?” She felt confused.
“Mac, Silla, and Michelle. As soon as they learned you were in the hospital, they rushed here. Mac still had pillow marks pressed to the side of his face and I’m pretty sure that Silla was wearing pajama pants with pink paddles on them.”
“Oh, yeah, Silla is definitely a sub. She’s tried to convince me to go to a club with her before. I can’t believe they came so quickly to see me. I remember Mac was here when I first woke up.”
“Yeah, we managed to convince the other two to go home and get some rest. They rushed here because they love you.”
Wow. She guessed that they must. How she hadn’t realized that before now, she wasn’t sure. Which was dumb. She’d do the same for them.
Still, it warmed her to know that she had people who were on her side, looking out for her.
“I really wished I’d moved in with Mac. But Derick told me he had a job, that he’d been sober a month, that he was getting help, that he was attending meetings.
That Rohan getting arrested had been a wake-up call for him to sober up.
All lies, of course. Well, he might have gone to one or two meetings, but he fell off the wagon again about three weeks after I moved in.
He lost his job after he didn’t turn up for a week.
And he didn’t go to work because he was roaring drunk.
I should have moved out. But I was just .
. . ashamed and embarrassed, I guess. I started paying the rent on the trailer and all the bills.
But if I worked both jobs, then I was still able to save.
Some of my work was being sold at this store in Denver and someone there saw it and contacted Michelle.
She was the one who took my stuff to the shop and took the payment. ”
“Baby, that’s amazing.”
“I know. The gallery owner wanted to see more of my stuff and when I showed it to her, she asked if I could make enough for a small exhibition. It was always going to be a huge challenge, but now it’s almost impossible.
The exhibition is only six weeks away and I still have two pieces to finish off. I can’t do that like this.”
“Hey, we’ll sort something. Can’t Michelle help you?”
“I suppose, but there’s another problem.”
Honestly, the problems seemed never-ending.
“What’s that?”
She bit her lip. It wasn’t fair to burden him with everything.
“Baby, tell me,” he urged.
“They took all the money I had saved for the transportation costs. I paid a deposit, but the rest is due on the day. I don’t have that money anymore. And it’s a lot of stuff. Some of it’s big. I can’t just put it in the backseat of someone’s car.”
“Leave that with me. I’ll get it sorted.”
“No.” A dark cloud drifted over her as she thought through everything. It was too much and she couldn’t cope. “It’s not going to work.”
“It will work, Devi. Stay with me, baby.”
What did he mean? She wasn’t going anywhere. Seemed a strange thing to say and she couldn’t figure out why he’d said it.
“Listen to me. I need you to get this out and then you can relax. Okay? You can slip into Little headspace if you want.”
“I don’t know how to be Little.”
“Well, you let me take over before. A little bit, anyway. That’s a start.
You can do that again. And we can figure out what your Little likes to do.
Who she likes to be. I get the feeling she is fond of a bit of revenge.
Maybe she likes pranks.” He raised his eyebrows. “Like putting salt in my coffee.”
“Hmm. Maybe. But you like to threaten to punish me. Not that you follow through . . .” Oh Lord. Why did she say that?
“I always follow through,” he told her in a husky voice. “I just haven't had a chance to.”
“It’s not nice to make me wait for punishment. It’s . . . it’s against some sort of law, I’m sure.”
“Ahh, I see. Got it. Thanks for educating me.”
She nodded solemnly. “You’re welcome.”
“Next time that happens, I’ll just put you over my knee and spank you. No matter where we are.”
“You can’t do that!” She stared up at him, aghast.
He smiled. Lord, had she seen him smile before? She guessed he didn’t have much to smile about.
“You’re so gorgeous when you smile,” she told him.
“Hmm.” He gave her a surprised look as he reached up to touch his mouth. “Can’t remember the last time I smiled.”
Well, he should do it more often. She hoped that he had things in the future to smile about. Devi obviously hadn’t known May, but from the way he talked about her, she sounded special and lovely. And she was certain that she wouldn’t want Hayes to live his life in misery.
“What happened? You said you had fallen asleep?” he asked.
“Ahh, yeah. I hadn’t been sleeping well.”
“Because of Derick?” he asked.
“In a way.” she trailed off. How did she explain Vega? Should she? No. That would be too dangerous. She’d keep it vague.
“It seems that Derick hasn’t just been drinking himself stupid, he’s been gambling too.”
“Fuck. He owes money?”