Chapter 26
H ayes stared at Devi.
What was going on in her mind? Since being interviewed by the detectives last night, she’d been very quiet.
She’d fallen asleep quickly, before she’d even eaten. And this morning, she’d just pushed her breakfast around.
The urge to take over and just feed her himself had ridden him hard.
The nurse had just come in to give her some pain relief. Now Devi was just staring at the ceiling.
He cleared his throat. He could feel his body begging him for some sleep. He’d sat in the chair next to her bed all night, thinking about how best to protect her. And what the fuck he was going to do about Freddy Mars.
In his younger years, he’d barely needed any sleep. Now, it was a bit harder to function.
“Baby, are you worried about something?”
That was probably a stupid question. Of course she was worrying about things.
“Hmm? Oh sorry. I just . . . I’m thinking about . . . everything.”
“Thinking or worrying?” he asked.
“Both?” she said with a shrug. She wasn’t herself, but that was to be expected. Still, he was concerned by how exhausted she sounded.
How very unlike Devi.
“What’s your biggest worry?” he asked.
Hayes had concerns of his own. The first one was her safety.
He didn’t trust the cops to find these gang members.
But Donovan, Dominic, Kent, and Liam were all here.
So for the moment, she was safe. Dominic was guarding Gwen as she tore through the police force.
Liam was watching the trailer, ready to clear it out once the cops let them in.
Donovan had packed up their stuff and was going to help Liam while Kent was his back-up here.
His second worry was her health. Physical and mental. He wanted to ensure she wasn’t in pain and that she had the best care possible. He wanted her to get full use of her arm back so she could return to what she loved. Her pottery.
That reminded him he needed to talk to Michelle about this exhibition she had coming up.
“I’m not going to be able to work for a while,” she said. “I guess Aaron fired me, anyway.”
“Yeah. Asshole.”
“Can’t blame him.”
Hayes could.
“I suppose it will be a while before I can go back to work. Mac should find someone else, too. I don’t know how I’m going to earn any money. Or pay the hospital bills.”
Her words didn’t alarm him so much as her tone of voice. She sounded so . . . monotone. As though none of this was really penetrating. Like she didn’t care.
But he knew that it was practically impossible for her not to care. Which meant that this was probably some sort of defense mechanism. A way of protecting herself.
He wished like hell that she didn’t have to do this.
“I’ve already told you not to worry about money,” he told her. “That I will take care of everything. Your main concern is going to be getting better. Rehab and rest.”
Devi turned her head to look at him. “What does that mean? You will take care of everything?”
“I mean that I am going to pay your hospital bill and for anything else that you need.”
He waited for a reaction, but she simply looked mildly curious.
Yeah, this wasn’t his Devi at all.
Fuck. His Devi? Had he really just thought that? What was wrong with him?
God. He didn’t know. He felt so conflicted. He hated seeing her lying in the bed, pale and hurt.
And knowing he hadn’t protected her.
“Baby, are you feeling okay?”
“Feeling okay? Sure. The painkillers are good. I can’t feel any pain.”
“That’s not what I meant. You don’t seem yourself.”
“Maybe this is the ‘me’ now. After being attacked by gang members who robbed me, stabbed me, and carried off my asshole father. Yeah, perhaps this is the new me. Perhaps the new me sounds like this.”
He shook his head. “No, you’re just in shock and overwhelmed. You’re going to find yourself again. Your happiness. You always see the good side of life, Devi.”
“I used to do that. I used to think that everyone had good in them. But they don’t .
. . some people are just bad. And sometimes, bad things happen to people who are trying to be good.
And it doesn’t seem to matter if you live your life trying to be nice to everyone and see the good in those around you.
It doesn’t matter if you’re positive and helpful and cheerful.
People still take advantage of you. Horrible things happen to you.
So I’m kind of thinking I might just stay like this, you know? Dead inside.”
He hated this.
Hated that everyone had done this to her.
“I know it must seem that way right now,” he told her. “You’ve been through some horrible stuff, baby. However, it isn’t always going to be like this.”
“So far this is what my life has been. One terrible thing after another. And just when things seem to be going well, something happens and boom, back to square one.”
He didn’t like that for her. And he understood why she sounded so exhausted.
But he wanted to make everything better for her. To see her smile again, to see her act carefree, without worry.
“Why would you pay for all of this? It’s too much, even a friend shouldn’t cover all of this. It would take me so long to pay it back.”
“Good thing you’re not paying any of it back then,” he said in a low voice.
“Friends don’t give their friends huge amounts of money.”
“Yeah, they do. I’m paying for the bills and your rehab. No. Arguments.”
End of story.
Devi wasn’t sure what to say to that statement.
He seemed to have taken a crazy pill today.
He hadn’t known her long.
So why would he want to do this for her?
And he expected no arguments?
Lord, if she had more energy, she’d totally argue with him about his ‘no arguments’ dictate.
Only problem was that she couldn’t really seem to gather up the energy to breathe, let alone argue. Emotion just took so much energy.
“Devi? Do you have anything you want to say?”
“You can’t.”
“I can, but don’t worry about it now,” he said as though he could hear what she was thinking.
“I have to talk to Rohan.”
“Gwen will want to visit him soon. We might be able to call him.”
“He’s going to be so upset. He’ll probably blame himself when he really shouldn’t.”
“He’ll feel guilty that he wasn’t there, that he didn’t protect you,” Hayes said.
“Yes.” She should have guessed that Hayes would understand. He and Rohan were similar in a lot of ways.
“I get that. But that doesn’t mean that he won’t want to know. That he doesn’t need to know.”
That was true.
“He’s only supposed to call me at certain times. I don’t think I’m allowed to call him.”
“I’ll talk to Gwen and get it set up.”
“All right,” she said sleepily.
Thinking was too tiring. Instead, she might sleep.
Yes, sleep sounded good.