Chapter 28 #2
“Because he’s your boss. He could fire you. If I’d spoken to Aaron like that, he wouldn’t just refuse to let me have a lunch break, I’d have been out of a job. You should speak nicer to Kent, I bet he’s a much better boss than Aaron. The dick.”
It felt good to call him that out loud instead of just in her head.
“He would refuse to let you stop for lunch?” Hayes asked in a low voice.
“Yeah, if I broke anything or if I spent too much time talking or daydreaming and not working then he’d say I owed him the time and I’d have to work through. Although, I didn’t care about that as much as the fact I wouldn’t get the food he was supposed to give me for every shift.”
“What?” he whispered.
“I got a meal at the café and one at the bar. There was never much food at home. Well, actually, that depended on whether Derick was around or not. When he was home, he’d get the munchies and eat everything he could find.
Anyway, I was always in a rush, there was never much time to eat.
It could be a long day if I didn’t get fed at the café and had to wait until my night shift. ”
Hayes started swearing. “That motherfucking bastard. He’s just lucky I’m busy right now because when I’m not, I’m going to make his miserable life utter fucking hell.”
Um. Okay.
She shouldn’t feel a rush of pleasure at his words, but she couldn’t stop them.
“He really is a nasty little man,” she agreed. “I wish I’d been able to tell him where to shove his job.”
“Probably the same place I’d like to shove my boot,” he grumbled. “But he’ll wait. And don’t worry about Kent. He knows he was being a dick.”
He was?
“He seems to be having delusions, though. Do you really think he’s all right?”
“Yeah, baby. He’s fine. The person we really need to discuss is you. Poor baby, did you fall out of bed?” he murmured.
He tried to lay her down, but she stiffened. Okay, now she really, really had to pee.
“I didn’t fall out of bed.” She didn’t know how he could seriously think that. “Can you put me down?”
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” he said with confusion.
“No, on my feet,” she managed to get out through gritted teeth.
Oh, this was going to be bad.
So bad.
She’d never had the best bladder. Holding on had always been a struggle. She’d often get into trouble at school for rushing out of class even though she had been told to wait until the break. And at the café, she’d have to rush off to the toilet, causing Aaron to lose it.
Mac had always been more understanding.
In the end, she’d stopped drinking as much. But that caused its own problems. Like dizziness and fatigue.
It was a delicate balance.
So she was doing rather well to hold on this long. However, her body was letting her know that it had had enough.
“On your feet? Not happening. You need to go to bed.”
Oh God. He was going to make her explain. “I have to pee!”
“You have to pee?” he repeated. “Why didn’t you say so? Where’s your catheter?”
She gaped up at him. “Gone. Why? Were you planning to reinsert it?”
To her surprise, a hint of red entered his cheeks. Oh, that was cute. And that really wasn’t a word she thought she would think about Hayes.
“Dumb comment, I get it.”
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” she said. Why was she messing up? And why was she so emotional?
“Hey, don’t cry,” he soothed. “Everything is fine. You didn’t make me feel bad.”
Deep breath in. Breath out.
You have this.
“I’ll get you a bed pan,” he said.
“No bed pan!”
“There will be one around here, surely,” he said.
“You listen to me, Graham Hayes. I’m using the toilet. The. Toilet.”
“I don’t want you to fall over and hurt yourself. You’re not well enough to use a toilet. I could try and find a diaper if you’re not keen on a bed pan.”
“In what world is a diaper better than a bed pan!” she cried. Then she groaned as her bladder contracted painfully.
Actually, she had no idea if a bladder was capable of contracting, but that’s definitely what it felt like.
She moaned.
“Shit. You’re in pain. I’m calling the nurse.”
“Just take . . . me to . . . the toilet.”
To her utter relief he strode into the attached bathroom and set her carefully on her feet in front of the toilet. A whimper escaped as she straightened up.
“Out.”
She pointed with her good hand to the door.
“That’s not happening,” he told her gruffly. “Can’t leave you in here alone. You might fall off the toilet.”
“I’m not going to fall off the toilet.”
He gave her a look filled with disbelief.
“Seriously! When have I ever been that clumsy?”
“Well, there’s been some instances,” he said dryly.
Oh. Right.
She winced as she thought of all the times she’d fallen over around him or bumped into things.
But that was really only because she’d been focused on him and not on anything around her . . . which probably wasn’t the thing to tell him.
“I’m not going to fall off the toilet. What I am gonna do is pee myself.” She half-bent over and a wave of dizziness decided to hit.
“Okay. Down you go.”
To her shock, he crouched in front of her, then reached under her long gown to pull down her panties.
“Eek!” she cried.
“Sorry if my hands are cold, baby,” he told her.
She wasn’t in shock over cold hands.
“You just pulled my panties down.”
“Yep. Can’t pee with them on.”
Well, no.
But . . .
“I could have done that.”
“How?” he asked calmly.
Damn. He had a point.
“Sit, Devi. No more arguing. You need to pee and if you don’t, I’m going to take drastic measures.”
Considering he’d already threatened her with diapers, she was pretty certain she didn’t want to know what he considered ‘drastic measures’ to be.
“You really need to go,” she told him as she sat on the toilet with his help.
“Not happening, baby. And you need to get used to me helping you. Now, pee.” He stepped away and turned on the tap at the sink.
Gratitude filled her for his thoughtfulness. Even as she cursed him for being a bossy caveman.
Really? She had to get used to him helping her? What the heck? Why did he think he got to be in charge of her?
Well, you did like it earlier when he took charge.
Yes, but she’d chosen to give him control. This was different.
Yeah.
And you still liked it. You just don’t want to admit it.
She pushed her thoughts aside as she peed with relief.
“Damn. Long pee. How long were you holding that in?” he asked with a frown as she attempted to grab some toilet paper.
He walked over and grabbed some out for her.
“Hayes!” she squealed.
“What?”
“You’re not supposed to comment on someone’s pee.”
“Why is that?” He raised an eyebrow.
“B-because pee is gross?” she said it like a question without meaning to. “People don’t talk about going to the toilet.”
He snorted. “You have a brother. You know that’s not true. Nothing young boys like more than talking about toilet stuff.”
“That’s kids. Not grown adults. And will you please give me that toilet paper?” She eyed the folded up paper in his big hand.
He better not try to help her clean up.
Hard no.
“You need help wiping,” he told her.
“I most certainly do not.” Jeez. If her voice grew any more high-pitched then she was going to start shattering glass.
“Baby,” he said tenderly. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Yes, yes there is. We’re not . . . I don’t think we would ever be . . . that comfortable with each other where you would be able to do that.”
“I’m very hands-on. And there is nothing I wouldn’t do or want to do for you if you needed it.”
What was she supposed to do with that? She didn’t know what to say or even what he really meant.
Hands-on? Why would he need to be hands-on?
He wasn’t her boyfriend or her Daddy.
She might need to get that tattooed on her arm to keep reminding herself.
And why would she need him to do any of that? She had one good hand.
Devi shook her head. “I don’t . . . I can’t . . . please.”
“Fuck. Here you are. Getting ahead of myself. Just . . . if you need help, tell me.”
“Um, sure. Can you, um, turn your back. Please?”
She thought he might refuse, but then he turned around and moved to the sink to turn off the tap. She quickly cleaned up before he changed his mind and turned to flush. It was awkward, but better that she do it. Then she attempted to reach down and pull up her panties.
Suddenly, he was in front of her. He drew her panties up to her knees.
“What did I just tell you about needing help?” he asked gruffly.
“I’m not very good at asking for help,” she admitted. “I don’t like feeling like a burden.”
“You are not a burden, Devi.”
She wasn’t so sure of that. She’d felt like a burden most of her life.
“Can see you don’t believe that. So until you learn that you can ask for help, I’m just going to give it to you, okay?”
“You say that like you weren’t always going to do what you want. When I’m pretty sure you always just do what you want.”
His lips twitched as he lifted her onto her feet. “Hold onto me, baby.”
“You should probably stop calling me baby,” she informed him. Even though she liked it a lot.
“And why is that?” he asked.
“Um, well, because we’re not . . . well, that’s what you call someone you care about.”
“I care about you, Devi. Thought that part was obvious.” He lifted her into his arms, but instead of carrying her to the sink so she could wash her hands, well, her good hand, he started toward the door.
“Where are you going? I need to wash my hand,” she told him.
I care about you, Devi.
She needed a moment to think about that before she replied.
“I’ll get a cloth.”
“Why can’t I wash my hand? Hayes?” she questioned after he didn’t say anything.
He sighed and glanced down at her. His gaze was on her cheek and she stiffened.
Shit.
Why didn’t she think of that?
“It’s because I’m hideous, isn’t it?” she whispered. “And you don’t want me to see how hideous I am.”
The scowl that overtook his face made her breath hitch. Oh, he looked mad.
What did you do?
“I don’t want to hear that shit coming out of your mouth again, understand?”
Devi nodded, not capable of speaking right now.
Then he sighed and she watched as he wiped the scowl off his face. Although she wasn’t fooled into thinking that he suddenly wasn’t mad anymore. It was more that he was trying to hide it so he didn’t . . . so he didn’t scare her?
Was that what he was doing?
Why would he do that?
I care about you, Devi.
Holy crap. She let those words sink in, fill her up. Maybe he truly did care about her.
And he was mad because she was calling herself hideous.
Because . . .
“You don’t think I am hideous.”
“Honest to fucking Christ, Devi . . . in no possible universe could you ever be considered hideous,” he snarled. “Understand me? Tell me you understand. And then promise me that you will never say shit like that again. Because you are not allowed to put yourself down.”