49. Jiya
JIYA
Slipping into a coral-coloured satin, one-shoulder dress, I stood in front of the mirror, smoothing the fabric over my hips with trembling hands. The material felt cool against my skin, but inside me, everything felt tight, coiled, restless.
I can do this.
That was the lie I kept repeating to myself.
It was the only way I could survive walking into that church and watching the man I loved promise forever to someone else.
If I allowed myself to think of it as anything more—if I allowed myself to remember the dreams we once shared, the future we once planned—I knew I would fall apart before I even reached the door.
So I forced those thoughts down.
The previous day, after breakfast, I had gone to Caleb’s penthouse, convinced that if I could just speak to him face to face, everything would finally make sense.
But he wasn’t there.
I left messages with the concierge. I called him repeatedly. I sent text after text, staring at my phone between every attempt as though willing it to light up.
Nothing.
Later, I drove to Point Grey and stopped outside his parents’ mansion, staring through the towering wrought-iron gates while the security guard politely but firmly denied me entry.
Still, I stayed.
Hour after hour, I waited outside those gates while the sky slowly darkened around me. Every time headlights appeared in the distance, hope surged painfully inside my chest before fading again.
But Caleb never came.
That night, I barely slept. My phone remained clutched tightly in my hand, while I listened to every passing sound outside the hotel room, convincing myself that each vibration or noise might finally be him.
It never was.
When morning came, I tried again.
Calls. Messages. Silence.
No missed calls.
No replies.
No sign that he even remembered I existed.
The memory of that long, lonely wait still pressed heavily against my chest as I picked up my clutch from the dresser and turned toward the door.
Now it was Sunday.
His wedding day.
And somehow, I was getting ready to attend it.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand, pulling me out of my thoughts.
My heart leapt before I grabbed it.
Harper.
He said he would be there soon to pick me up.
Minutes later, a knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” I called, forcing steadiness into my voice.
The door opened, and Harper stepped inside, dressed in a black-and-white tuxedo.
“Wow!” he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as he looked at me. “You never fail to take my breath away!”
Despite everything twisting painfully inside me, warmth touched my cheeks at the kindness in his voice. I managed a small smile.
“Let’s go,” I said softly.
Together, we stepped out of the bedroom and walked into the living area of the hotel suite.
We headed toward the second bedroom where Emma and Lucas were resting.
They had come back late last night from their sleepover at Elle’s house, exhausted but excited, chattering endlessly about the games they had played and the movies they had watched.
The moment I opened the bedroom door, both of them looked up at me from the bed.
“Mama, you look pwetty,” Emma said sleepily
My heart melted.
“Thanks, baby,” I replied, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Alright, naptime for an hour, then pool time for half an hour, dinner, and then bed, okay?”
“Yes, Mama!” they answered together, their voices bright and cheerful.
I smiled faintly at them.
They were my strength, my reason to keep going, my anchor through every storm life had thrown at me.
If today went wrong—if everything fell apart—I wanted to remember that I had tried. That I had fought for the truth.
I took one last look at them before quietly closing the bedroom door behind me.
Then I followed Harper to the elevator downstairs, clutching my purse as we walked.
Please, God, I prayed silently. Just give me one chance to speak to him.
Because today—
before vows were spoken,
before promises were made,
before my world shattered completely—
Caleb deserved to know the truth.
Arriving at the church, I stepped out of the car and walked beside Harper.
Garlands of white lilies and blush roses draped along the stone steps, their soft fragrance floating through the cool afternoon air as guests filtered inside.
That was when I saw him.
Caleb stood at the top of the steps, greeting guests, dressed in a dark, tailored suit that made him look devastatingly handsome. The crisp white shirt beneath it sharpened every familiar line of him, from his broad shoulders to the strong angle of his jaw.
Everything blurred, and all I could see was him—the man I had loved with every piece of my heart.
I forced myself to keep walking, climbing the steps slowly with Harper beside me, my pulse hammering in my ears.
The moment Caleb’s eyes lifted and met mine, he went completely still.
I felt exposed under that look, as if he could see straight through the calm mask I was trying so desperately to maintain.
We finally reached him.
I turned to Harper first, needing a moment to steady myself.
“I’ll see you inside,” I told him softly.
Harper nodded, giving me a reassuring smile before stepping past us and heading toward the church doors.
Then I turned to Caleb.
Up close, he looked even more breathtaking.
And that somehow made this worse.
I forced a faint smile, though my lips trembled slightly.
“You look handsome,” I whispered.
The words felt simple, polite, safe—nothing like the thousand emotions swirling inside me.
“So are you and Harper…” he began, his voice low, but his sentence trailed off, unfinished.
Something flickered behind his eyes.
Regret.
Pain.
Jealousy.
I couldn’t tell anymore.
I opened my mouth, wanting to explain everything at last, wanting to tell him the truth I had carried for years, but the words tangled inside me.
Fear wrapped tightly around my throat, stealing my voice before I could speak.
Instead, I lowered my eyes briefly to the stone steps beneath us before forcing myself to speak the only words I believed I had the right to say now.
“I wish Tatiana and you all the happiness and joy in the world.”
And for the first time, I meant it.
Whatever chance Caleb and I might once have had was gone.
I had missed my opportunity.
He had chosen his future, and I had no right to stand in its way.
My hand moved on its own, resting lightly on his chest.
Beneath my palm, I felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat through the fabric of his suit.
The contact felt like coming home.
I let my hand rest just long enough to memorize the feeling, to hold on to the last piece of him I could carry with me. Then I pulled my hand away slowly, forcing another small smile before walking past him and into the church.
I lowered myself onto the wooden pew next to Harper, halfway towards the altar, close enough to see everything clearly, yet far enough to remain unnoticed among the crowd.
The faint scent of lilies and candle wax filled the air, mingling with the soft murmur of voices and the rustle of formal clothing, beneath vaulted ceilings.
Walking away from Caleb outside had been the hardest thing I had ever done.
And somehow sitting here felt worse.
I had come here determined to tell him the truth, to clear my name, to fight for the love we once shared. But the moment I saw him standing there in his wedding suit—calm, composed, ready to begin a new life—I realized I couldn’t do this to him on his wedding day.
What was supposed to be the happiest day of his life.
It was not fair to him.
It was not right.
The truth would have to wait.
Not today.
Not here.
Not moments before he was about to stand at the altar.
Caleb deserved the truth.
Emma deserved the truth.
But not like this.
Right now, I couldn’t think beyond surviving the next few minutes.
My body had moved on its own, my legs carrying me into the church, guiding me to this seat, forcing me to stay.
But my heart.
That was a different story.
Every second inside the church hurt my heart, as if it knew what was coming and was trying to prepare me for the inevitable loss.
“Are you okay?” Harper asked softly beside me.
I nodded without looking at him, lowering my gaze to the floor. My hands trembled in my lap, my fingers curling into the fabric of my dress as I struggled to steady myself.
To come so close to being with Caleb again—to stand within reach of the life we once dreamed of—only to be torn apart once more felt unbearable.
The church bells rang out in celebration, their deep, resonant sound echoing through the high ceilings and vibrating in my chest, signalling that the ceremony was going to start soon.
I lifted my head slightly and saw Simon and Greg enter through a side door and take their positions beside Caleb near the altar.
Everything looked perfect.
Everything looked exactly as it should.
Except my heart.
Soft organ music floated through the church as guests shifted in their seats and whispered among themselves.
I kept my eyes fixed on the church floor, watching the patterns in the polished tiles blur slightly.
From the corner of my eye, with my head still bent, I saw a pair of sparkling golden shoes pass by.
Eleanor.
I recognized them immediately.
My breath caught in my throat.
I didn’t look up until I was certain they had passed me.
Sitting on the aisle on the left side of the church, I had a clear view of the altar once I finally raised my eyes.
Randall stood near the altar in a black suit, leaning slightly on his cane while Eleanor rested her arm through Caleb’s. Her rose-gold gown shimmered beneath the church lights as she kissed Caleb on both cheeks before returning to her seat beside Randall.
Watching Randall, I wished I had been given a chance to speak to him one last time. We had shared such a good rapport once. He had always treated me like a daughter, welcoming me into his home with warmth and kindness, making me feel like I belonged. I would always be grateful for that.
But after everything that had happened, I knew that I would never get the chance to thank him.
The string quartet began to play the bridal song.
People around me slowly rose to their feet.
Bridesmaids in teal dresses glided past my row toward the altar while the music swelled softly through the church.
My heart began to race, and a tingling sensation spread through my chest, creeping into my arms and fingertips until my hands turned numb.
How could I possibly think I could go through this? How did I convince myself that I could sit here calmly and watch the love of my life marry someone else?
A painful ache rose in the back of my throat as tears pooled in my eyes.
I couldn’t do this.
Dear God, help me!
I grabbed the pew in front of me and slowly pushed myself upright, gripping the wood tightly for support as weakness spread through my legs.
My eyes travelled slowly from the floor… to the pew… to the altar…
And then to Caleb.
Our eyes locked.
The connection struck me like lightning.
The music faded into the background.
The church disappeared.
For one suspended moment, it felt as though it was only him and me standing across the distance that separated us.
I couldn’t look away.
I wanted to.
But I couldn’t.
His gaze held mine with an intensity that made it feel as though he could see straight into my soul—into every regret, every memory, every piece of love I still carried for him.
Two large tears rolled slowly down my cheeks.
And in that moment, I knew.
I would never survive if I had to watch him marry someone else.
When Tatiana passed by with her parents walking her down the aisle, I forced myself to look away from Caleb, breaking the connection that had held me in place.
My heart twisted sharply in my chest, the loss sudden and absolute.
Then I turned and walked hurriedly toward the exit.
Out of the church.
Out of the ceremony.
Out of his life… again!