Chapter 3 #2
“Wine?” I echo in surprise. Wine is such a rare luxury in the wards. I heard it’s difficult for the Company scientists to produce a synthetic version that doesn’t taste sour. “I’d love some.”
“Go get changed while I pour.”
I duck into his bedroom, where I find a neatly folded white T-shirt on the edge of the bed.
I strip out of my clothes and set them on a nearby chair.
His shirt hangs to my knees, thankfully covering the bloodmark that’s no longer safely hidden beneath burn tissue.
I spent so many years feeling self-conscious about my burns, and now I find myself longing for them.
When I return, Gray’s green eyes travel up my bare legs, and my first thought is how I doubt very much that Cross would like this. No, he’d get all primal and growly. Tell me how he wants to rip Gray’s eyeballs out of the sockets for daring to look at me.
I’m not sure what it says about me, but I love that dominant, possessive side of him. No one’s ever growled over me before.
Gray’s gaze lingers, and I can see the question there.
“What?” I say, shifting awkwardly.
“Can I see it? The bloodmark?”
After a beat of hesitation, I lift the hem of the shirt, exposing my left thigh. He steps closer, taking in the perfect red circle that sits just below my hip.
He whistles softly. “It’s big.”
“Not that big,” I protest.
“Have you seen Ellis’s?”
“Yeah.” Ellis’s bloodmark was on the center of his palm, maybe an inch or so in diameter.
“He’s one of the most powerful healers on the Continent, and your mark is twice the size of his. Hell, yours is as big as Jayde Valence’s.” Gray pauses. “I heard she killed herself after Travis Redden started rounding up all the loyalists.”
He’s handing me a glass of red wine as he says that, and I’m caught so off guard that it nearly slips through my fingers. He doesn’t miss the reaction, his eyes narrowing with suspicion.
“Do you know anything about that, cowgirl?”
I secure my grip on the wineglass and head for the couch. I’m so tired after walking for days. I lift my knees and pull the T-shirt over them, trying to decide how much to share.
Realizing I’m going to have to tell him everything tomorrow anyway, I sigh and opt for the truth. “It wasn’t her choice.”
“We were told she shot herself in the head. How was that not her choice?”
I bite my lip.
“Darlington.”
“I incited her to do it,” I blurt out.
His breath hisses out through his teeth. “You’re an inciter?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Shit,” he mutters. “I was hoping for mind reader. Or maybe a powerful empath. You’ve definitely got that bleeding heart. But incitement? Does the Company know?”
“Nobody knows.” Except Cross. I keep that to myself, adding it to the growing pile of secrets and lies I’m amassing.
Gray shakes his head, then gulps down nearly half his wine. I take my first sip, and the rich flavor explodes on my tongue. It’s incredible. Heady. Just the right amount of sweet.
We fall silent for a moment, watching each other.
“I really missed you,” I admit.
A lopsided grin tugs on the corner of his mouth. “Missed you, too. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who’s more reckless than I am.”
“I don’t think that’s a good thing,” I say with a laugh.
“Sure it is. You’re unpredictable.”
“Again, how is that a good thing?”
“Life is boring when it’s predictable. You provide much-needed excitement.”
He lowers his tall, broad body into the armchair, the muscles in his arms flexing beneath his shirt as he shifts his wineglass to his other hand.
“I wish you told me you were a Mod when we were in Silver Elite,” I complain. “Did you know who I was the entire time?”
“Of course. I’m on the Authority. I know everything.”
“You’re going to be lording this Authority thing over me all the time now, aren’t you, you cocky bastard? ‘Oh, I’m on the Authority,’ ” I mimic. “How are you even allowed to be on it? You’re only a couple years older than me.”
“There’s no age limit to serve on the council. People here only care about competence and leadership skills.” He pauses. “Does Adrienne know you were fucking Redden?”
I glare at him.
“What? Are you going to try to deny it? Because I saw him sneaking out of your quarters on more than one occasion.” Chuckling, he raises his glass and takes a long swig.
I watch his throat work as he swallows, wondering how much to admit to, until I remember something Cross told me when we were saying goodbye.
“You reported us,” I say in accusation.
Gray shrugs, utterly remorseless. “So?”
“So why would you try to get me in trouble? We were friends.”
“That’s exactly why I did it—because we were friends. I was trying to protect your ass. What the hell were you thinking, hooking up with him? He’s the General’s son.”
“It wasn’t serious.”
The lie burns my tongue. It feels like a betrayal to Cross. More than that, a betrayal to Wolf, my best friend since childhood. It still astonishes me how by some twist of fate, Cross and Wolf are one and the same.
Yet another secret I’ll take to the grave.
“Well, of course, I figured it wasn’t serious,” Gray says. “The captain is a stone-cold asshole. Not a trace of emotion in that guy. Probably a good lay, though.”
God, he doesn’t even know.
I merely shrug in response.
He barks out a laugh. “That means yes. And you didn’t answer my question—does anyone else know about you and Redden?”
“Only Xavier.” Bitterness creeps through me. “Why, is that something I need to disclose tomorrow?”
“No. Your personal life is none of their business. I just wasn’t sure if Ade already knew.” Gray sips his wine, watching me over the rim of his glass. “Was he involved in your escape?”
“No,” I lie.
His eyebrows rise in challenge. “He didn’t order Ford to get you off the base?”
“No. Cross would never give up his best lieutenant. Xavier acted on his own.”
Gray nods. I don’t know if he believes me, but I’m not going to sit here and try to convince him. I’m too tired for that.
“Still can’t believe Lyddie turned you in,” he muses. “I mean, I knew she was a hardcore loyalist, but that girl loved you.”
“Apparently not. After she saw my bloodmark, I tried to feed her a story about how the Company knew all about it and I was an undercover operative, a loyalist like her. For a moment there, I thought she believed me. She promised she wouldn’t say anything.
Then she turned around and reported me for concealment. ”
“Quat.”
Sadness lodges inside me, filling the corners of my chest where I thought I’d found a real friend. “She’s been programmed to hate people like us. So I get it. That’s what happens when you’re fed Company propaganda your entire life. She felt betrayed by me.”
“She betrayed you.”
“We betrayed each other, I guess.” I wearily get to my feet. “I need to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I leave the wineglass on the counter and walk toward the bedroom, a heavy feeling settling over me.
“Wren.”
His voice stops me before I can slip away.
I turn to face him. “Yeah?”
“Don’t lie tomorrow during disclosure,” he advises. “Just be honest.”
“I will,” I assure him, even though I plan on lying about plenty of things.
I hesitate in the doorway. I can’t decipher his expression, whether he’s warning me or showing concern. I do see a softness there, though. A familiar flicker that reminds me of our tight-knit friendship on the Command base.
“Grayson…do you trust these people?”
“I do, yes. And you can, too.”
“Kallister told me that he voted to rescue Jim from the execution. Is that true?”
“It is. Majority ruled against it.”
I take another step, but he stops me again.
“Darlington, I really don’t want to vote to send you back to the wards. So do me a favor and don’t give them a reason to call that vote.”