Chapter 9 #2
I stare at the guy in shock. I’ve never met another inciter before—which I suppose makes sense, if there’s only two of us.
“Hawkins will be able to help you harness gold,” Kallister adds.
My shock gives way to confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I figured you wouldn’t. Julian always thought he was the smartest man in the room,” Kallister says. “I bet he thought he could teach you everything himself, right? Well, my brother didn’t know everything. It’s difficult for those without gold to know how to use it.”
“I still don’t get it. What is gold?” I push.
“It’s a frequency only some Mods possess,” Kallister explains. “Associated with the manipulation powers.”
Noting my increasing bewilderment, Hawkins’s lips curl into a sneer. “Do you know anything?”
Apparently not.
Kallister gives the other man a reprimanding frown. “Let’s be kind now. She was never trained properly.”
I bristle, because…bullshit. Jim trained me well. So what if he didn’t know how to harness some stupid mysterious power most Mods don’t even possess?
Turning to me, Kallister speaks in a patient voice. “Modified abilities fall under a few categories. We call them the three families of powers—foundational, emotional, and manipulation. The foundationals are your basic gifts, like mind reading, telepathy, precognition, projection, and the like.”
“Emotional would be empath abilities?” I guess.
“Correct. And manipulation powers include incitement, corruption, persuasion—”
“Persuasion?”
He nods. “A persuader is able to plant ideas in someone’s mind. It’s similar to incitement, except that the target mind doesn’t usually realize a seed was planted. If a persuader is skilled enough, the other mind will believe the idea was completely organic.”
My eyebrows fly up. I had no idea that ability even existed.
“We used to have a Mod here who could do it. Siggie.” He sighs with regret.
“We lost her in a ward ambush a few years back. But I digress. Manipulation powers tap into a rare frequency,” he continues.
Hawkins stands silently at his side, arms crossed.
“We call it gold, because every manipulator we know of says it manifests like the color gold in their mind.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, thinking of the gold dust that swirled behind my eyelids when I incited the firing squad at Uncle Jim’s execution.
“The gold frequency is undetectable in the receiving mind. If it’s used on another Mod, the target won’t receive an electric shock.
The internal alarm system doesn’t go off, and most times the other mind is unaware it’s being targeted.
A powerful inciter—President Severn, for example—could compel another person’s will, hijack their motor system, without them even knowing it’s happening. ”
Whoa. No wonder Tack Severn was so feared. Whenever I’ve incited, the other mind resisted. Hard.
“But if they have a really strong shield—” I start.
“Won’t work,” Hawkins interrupts.
“What won’t work?”
“Shields.” His tone is curt. “Any ability that harnesses gold can’t be shielded against.”
Holy shit.
“Did you see gold when you incited?” Kallister asks me.
“Yes.”
“And when you drew it to you—”
“What do you mean, drew it to me?” I wrinkle my forehead. “I don’t draw anything to me. I just…repeat the command over and over again.”
Hawkins barks out a surly laugh. “And how does that fare for you?”
I frown at his sarcasm. “I—”
He cuts me off again, turning to Kallister. “She doesn’t know how to incite.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell everyone,” I mutter, my skin prickling with offense. “I don’t know how to do it. It happens spontaneously.”
Hawkins continues to focus only on Kallister. “She’s tapping into the gold, but she’s not harnessing it.”
“Then teach her to harness it,” Kallister replies, sounding irritated.
“What do I get in return?”
“What do you want?”
Seriously? They’re negotiating?
“Synth tobacco next time Reed is here on a run,” Hawkins says after a moment of thought.
“Fine. Just teach her.”
“I’ll need a rat.”
“Gray has volunteered.”
My gaze flicks from one man to the other as I try to make sense of what they’re talking about, but their fast-paced exchange ends with Hawkins abruptly stalking out of the alcove.
“We’ll start tomorrow morning,” he snaps over his shoulder, leaving me to wonder what the hell just happened.
Life at the Dagger is similar to that on the Command base.
Everyone has a work assignment. Everyone trains.
Everyone keeps busy. Gray told me I might be able to work at the target range, but nobody has said anything yet, and my comm remains depressingly quiet for the rest of the day as I sit in my quarters bored out of my mind.
After we finished at the Temple this morning, Kallister said he had a briefing to attend and disappeared.
I tried to explore the Operations floor on my own, only to discover that my thumbprint and retina scan don’t work everywhere.
Most areas are still restricted to me, and when I attempted to return to the Temple, the elevator wouldn’t grant me access to LL.
To make matters worse, I miss Cross. I miss the heat of his lips traveling along my neck. I miss his strong, capable hands, gripping my waist, tangled in my hair.
I reach out to him before I can stop myself, needing to hear his voice.
“You good, Dove?”
I smile. It’s how he opens most conversations now.
“I’m okay.”
“What’s wrong?” He knows me well.
“Nothing. I mean, something. But it’s not a huge deal. People found out I can incite and now some of them are scared of me.”
“Well, you are pretty fucking scary.”
“I am not,” I protest.
“You scare me.” He’s no longer joking, his voice rough with emotion.
“Why do I scare you?”
“Because there are no limits to what I’d do to keep you safe.”
A rush of emotion floods me. I know exactly what he means.
“What did you get up to today?” he asks, changing the subject.
“I trained with Kallister.”
“He’s one of their leaders?”
“Yeah.” I pause. “I didn’t tell you before because I was still trying to wrap my head around it, but…he’s Jim’s brother. His twin brother.”
“Shit. That must be unnerving.”
“It really is.”
“What kind of training are we talking about?”
“They want me to master incitement.”
Silence fills my head.
“Wolf?”
“Is that what you want?” he finally asks. It doesn’t sound like a reprimand. Just curiosity. “To master it? Because you told me it’s not a power you ever want to use.”
“I don’t. But I should probably learn how to control it, so it doesn’t happen spontaneously anymore. At least if I can consciously wield it, I’ll have a choice about whether to use it.” I hesitate. “Would you use it? If you could incite someone to do your bidding?”
Unlike me, he shows no hesitation. “If my life was in danger, yes, I’d use incitement. Like you did with Jayde. Kill or be killed, yeah?”
“I just…I feel like a hypocrite.” The confession slips out before I can stop it. “I’ve always told myself how important free will is, how wrong it is to incite someone, but I didn’t even hesitate to incite Jayde to shoot herself.”
“Self-preservation kicked in,” he says roughly. “It’s that innate instinct to stay alive. Most people can’t fight it.”
“I know, but that’s what makes it worse.
That it felt justified. But I still felt like a monster afterward, because even when it’s about survival, it’s still a violation.
I don’t want to be the person who could do something like that.
” I hate the way my voice breaks. “I never thought myself capable of crossing that line.”
“Would you prefer she killed you? Because I sure as fuck wouldn’t. Cross as many lines as you have to. I don’t care what you need to do to stay in this world with me, Daisy.”
“But I’m not with you,” I shoot back. “I’m over here, all by myself.
Worrying about whether your brothers are going to kill you.
Wishing every second of the day that you were here with me.
” I groan out loud. “The city is too dangerous for me, and the Uprising is too dangerous for you—so what the fuck are we going to do?”
“We could run,” he suggests. “Leave it all behind.”
The idea makes me laugh. “Right. Because that’s an option.”
“It could be.”
Something about his tone gives me pause. “Really. You would run away. You’d leave your mom? Your unit? Just let your brothers win this war and burn the world to the ground?”
“There are no winners in war, Dove. Everybody fucking loses. That’s what happens when the entire hellfucking world is morally bankrupt.”
I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound so cynical. As we both go quiet for a moment, I’m unable to ignore the pang of worry gnawing at my gut.
“Are you good?” I ask, because he hasn’t sounded right at all since I left.
“I’m fine,” he assures me.
“Where are you right now?”
“On the base. Staring at the wall. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
The ache in my chest returns. Cross and I had only just found each other, realized that we were Wolf and Daisy, before I was forced to flee the city and leave him behind.
No. He left himself behind.
I gulp down the lump that rises in my throat, because it feels dangerously close to resentment. I don’t resent Cross. I’m not angry at him. Not really.
But…maybe a part of me…a tiny, wounded part of me…can’t forget that he had the chance to come with me, and he chose to stay behind.