Chapter 45
Gray’s not waiting for me in the hangar.
He’s even angrier than I thought, then. Anxiety pulls at my gut and trembles through my fingers as I take the elevator to the third floor.
On the bright side, my leg feels great. Even better than before.
If anything, it’s the other one that’s sore now, from all that trekking through the jungle this morning.
He lets me into his quarters without a word, and we face off in the center of the living area. The muscles in his jaw are working hard, as if he’s grinding his teeth. His shoulders so tense, they look like they might snap in half.
“You incited me.”
The words are low, accusatory. There are so many emotions in his eyes, I don’t even know what to focus on. Betrayal. Disbelief. Resentment. But it’s the hurt that cuts me the deepest.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You promised me.” He jerks his hand toward the couch. “We sat right here, and you promised you would never do it without my consent.”
“I had no choice.” My voice shakes. “I didn’t know they would let me go that easily. I thought we would all be killed.”
“You fucking incited me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Growling, he drags both hands through his hair and spins away, keeping his back to me. He’s so mad he can’t even look at me.
“I’m sorry,” I say again. I want to walk over and throw my arms around him, but I’m scared he’ll push me away.
He finally turns, and what I see in his expression goes far beyond anger and hurt. It’s fear. A fear so sharp, so real, it makes my stomach twist.
“You sacrificed yourself for me. Don’t you ever fucking do that again.”
“Gray—”
“No. I don’t need you to argue with me. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you will never put my life ahead of yours.”
“You would put yours ahead of mine,” I point out.
“Because your life means more to me,” he snaps, his chest rising and falling with the force of his emotions. “I don’t give a shit what happens to me. But you…” He trails off.
I swallow.
Silence falls. We stand there, both of us breathing hard. When I open my mouth to speak, he steps forward, tugging on my wrist to pull me toward him.
His arms come around me, holding me close. His chin rests atop my head. I feel him trembling as he draws a ragged breath.
“Promise you’ll never pull a stunt like that again. Promise, and fucking mean it.”
I hear how serious he is. I bury my face against his chest, inhaling his familiar citrus scent.
“I promise.”
I tip my head back, seeing the vulnerability swimming in his eyes, and it makes me cup his face with both hands. I wish I had the ability to ground him the way he grounds everyone else. I want to soothe his emotions.
He never lets anybody see him like this.
“I promise,” I repeat, then rise on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. It’s a gentle kiss. A promise he can feel. “I’ll never do that again.”
The tension snaps, and suddenly his mouth is on mine. My body comes alive, nerve endings firing as desire sparks beneath my skin. But I’m covered in dirt and grime, and when he slips his hands beneath my shirt, I break the kiss and pull back.
“I need a shower,” I say sheepishly.
He nods toward the private lav behind him. “Use mine.”
I hesitate. “I don’t have any clothes here.”
“Wear mine.”
A smile tugs on my lips. “I notice you’re not offering to join me.”
“I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.” The intensity of his gaze robs me of breath.
I wrench my eyes away and go to the lav, where I spend way too long under the shower spray. I’m still so hot from hours in that cell in Tierra Fe that I don’t even crank it past lukewarm. The cool water feels heavenly.
Stepping out of the shower, I wrap myself in a towel and poke my head into the main room. “Can I get that shirt?”
Gray tosses it to me, and I duck back into the lav to dry off and pull the T-shirt over my head. It hangs to my knees, making me smile. And my hair smells like his shampoo. I like it.
When I return, his gaze rakes over me in a slow, deliberate tease. Starting from my bare feet, sliding up my legs, lingering on the outline of my nipples against the fabric of his shirt, until finally his eyes meet mine.
“How’s your leg?” he asks gruffly. “Evlynne was convinced it was broken. But it looks okay.”
“It’s fine. I think it was a sprain,” I lie, but only for now. I have every intention of telling him about Valeria and what happened in the cell, but the story requires a lot more words than I’d like to say at the moment. Instead, I utter only three. “I’m really sorry.”
“I know you are.”
“I was trying to protect you.”
“I know you were.” He moves closer. “I don’t need your protection.”
He tugs off his shirt, and I’m greeted by muscle, sinew, and abs. His bare chest is really, really nice to look at.
“I don’t want to talk anymore,” I blurt out.
I glimpse a hint of a smile. “What would you like to do then?”
I take his hand and drag him toward the bedroom, and in a heartbeat, his lips are on mine. He lifts me into his arms, and I hook my legs around his waist as he walks us toward the bed.
“We’re supposed to take it slow,” he reminds me, even as he’s kissing the side of my throat.
“Just kissing,” I promise, even as I’m lying through my teeth.
I want to do more than kiss him. My entire body is reacting to him. A relentless, searing ache in places I hadn’t realized were this starved for him.
He lowers me onto the bed and props up on one elbow, his lips lazily dancing over mine as his hand teases the bottom of my shirt, inching it up my thighs. I’m not wearing any underwear, and his eyes narrow when he realizes it.
“Fuck,” he mumbles.
“What’s the matter?” I ask innocently.
Biting his lip, he drags the fabric up higher, baring my stomach and then my breasts.
“One taste,” he says, and I gasp when his mouth covers my nipple. When he licks the tight bead, I arch against him, needing more. But he releases me, groaning softly. “We said just kissing.”
“Aww, come on, ace. I was held captive by Tierrans today,” I say with an exaggerated pout. “I feel like I’ve earned it.”
Chuckling, he squeezes my other breast before skimming his hand down my body, bringing it between my legs.
A jolt of desire shudders through me. I’m wet for him. His eyes gleam with approval when he feels it. He rubs me in slow, deliberate circles, watching my face as my hips rock into his touch.
“You are so beautiful,” he says, his voice hoarse.
It’s difficult to think when he’s touching me like that.
My hips rock faster, arching into the ministrations of his fingers.
He pushes one inside me, then a second, and gently thrusts both in and out while his thumb tends to the swollen spot that needs the most attention.
It’s getting harder and harder to breathe.
“So tight,” he whispers as his fingers move inside me. He licks the shell of my ear. “And wet.” He thrusts deeper, and I moan.
I don’t want this to be only about me. When he leans in to kiss me, I reach between us, but he gently pushes my hand away.
“No,” he says, his lips traveling over the tendons of my neck. “I’m already breaking too many of our rules tonight.”
My breathing grows shallow as his tongue slips into my mouth. As his fingers glide in a slow, excruciating tempo.
“Don’t stop,” I whisper.
I’m grinding against his hand now, the heel of his palm pressed tightly against me.
I gasp when the climax rises without warning, a rush of pure, delicious bliss filling my body.
Tingling between my legs, in my fingertips, up my spine, and down to my toes.
I moan as he keeps going, determined to draw every ounce of pleasure out of me.
He’s smiling at me, mighty pleased with himself, as I squirm away because everything has gotten too sensitive down there. Utterly sated, I roll over and rest my head on his chest.
While he absently strokes my shoulder, I squint down his body and grin at the very obvious erection tenting his pants. “Are you okay there, ace?”
“No, I’m not. In case you can’t tell, I’m hard as a rock.”
I shudder with laughter, my face buried against his pecs. Then I rise up on my elbow. “Permission to do something about that?” I ask hopefully.
He gives me a stern look. “We’re not having sex. It was your request to go slow.”
“And now I’m requesting to go fast.” I purse my lips in thought. “How about a compromise?”
“I’m listening.”
I swallow another laugh. “No sex. Just…this.”
Before he can argue, I kiss my way down his chest, feeling his muscles quiver beneath my lips. I reach his waistband and slide my fingertips beneath it. Dancing them along his flesh.
When he shivers, I look up. “Permission to continue?”
I’m gratified by the pure need sizzling in his eyes. “Yes.”
I tug his pants off his hips, and his cock springs up, hard and ready for me.
Gently, I tease my fingertips along the length of him, rubbing my thumb over his tip.
Welcoming every husky groan and heavy breath that escapes his mouth as I lick and stroke before finally sucking him into my mouth, as deep as I can.
“Fuck,” Gray chokes out. He slides a hand in my hair, bunching it into a ponytail, guiding my head over him. “Keep doing that. Yeah. Slow and deep, just like that.”
I feel him throbbing against my tongue. His body is tense, muscles quivering as if he’s struggling for control. He lets me lead, even though I can tell it’s taking every bit of restraint on his part.
On my next upstroke, I lick a circle around his crown and peer up at him, summoning a strangled expletive from him.
“You have no idea how good you look doing that.”
My own arousal begins to rise, but I ignore it, focusing on his pleasure.
It isn’t long before my thorough attention has him letting out a choked groan of warning.
I stroke him through the release, enjoying his heavy-lidded expression, the way his teeth dig into his lower lip.
He collapses breathlessly and tugs me up his body.
“That was incredible,” he mutters.