Chapter 48
Time moves forward, as it does, and before I know it, it’s the middle of summer.
It amazes me that it’s been more than eight months since I got to the Dagger.
When Gray had asked if I was ready for war before I boarded that helicopter, I expected we’d immediately race into battle, bombing the Point, storming the Capitol, taking down Travis and the entire Company.
Turns out war moves very, very slowly. All the pieces need to be in place. All the little pawns arranged while the kings and queens and knights formulate their bigger plans.
Did I mention how much I despise chess?
It’s been three months since somebody slipped heartroot in my drink, but I’m no closer to figuring out who it was.
I asked Hawkins the other day if it’s possible to incite the truth out of someone.
Thought I could walk around the Dagger, harnessing gold and inciting random people to tell me whether they tried to kill me, but he said that as far as he knows, it’s not possible.
“Have you tried?” I challenged, and he rolled his eyes and said, “Of course.” He proceeded to explain that even if it “worked,” there was no way to confirm their dishonesty. You could incite someone to speak, but that didn’t mean they’d speak the truth.
This morning, as I’m on my way to the target range, Adrienne summons me via telepathy to the war room. I expect to find the rest of the Authority there, but she’s alone, hip propped against the table, red hair loose and hovering at her shoulders.
“I need you on security tonight,” she says.
“For a mission?”
She nods. “I have a meeting in the wards.”
“With who?”
“You don’t have the clearance for that. All I require is your eye and your rifle.”
“Who’s the transport?”
“Henley.”
I’m not surprised that it isn’t Gray. I’ve noticed it’s rare for more than one Authority member to be in the field at the same time.
“We’re stopping to rendezvous with Jasper first,” she says, arching a brow. “Thought you might like to see the lieutenant.”
That lifts my spirits. I haven’t seen or spoken to Xavier since we left him behind in the Hollow. I receive the occasional updates on him via Kitty, but I wouldn’t be against seeing his mocking smile and hearing his sarcastic voice in person.
“We’ll leave at twenty-three hundred hours,” Adrienne says.
After dinner, I sit with Gray in his quarters, but when I ask him about Adrienne’s meeting, he remains tight-lipped.
“You’re on need-to-know for Authority business,” he reminds me. “You’re only there for backup and support.”
“You’re really not going to tell me?” I gripe.
“Really.” Then he yanks me toward him and distracts me by kissing me senseless.
We still haven’t had sex. I don’t know why.
We fool around all the time, but it seems like something is holding us back from taking it to the next level.
I often think about what Karra said to me about Gray’s need to keep things on the surface, and I wonder if that extends to his sex life.
We kiss and laugh and get each other off, but that deeper intimacy?
He seems content to delay it. And I’m all right with that.
Because no matter how hard I fight it, it always feels…just a teeny, tiny bit…like I’m betraying Cross.
We meet at a cellar bar in Ward C, not far from the hospital where I stumbled onto a room full of fragmented minds. I wish Cross and I were still talking, that he would update me on the corruption cases he claims to have seen firsthand, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to link with him.
Cross is lost to me. So is Wolf. It’s agonizing to admit it, even harder to accept it, but I don’t think I have much of a choice now. He doesn’t reach out to me, and I’m not going to beg for his friendship. He’s made his choice.
Xavier envelops me in a warm hug, and I cling to him, not only because he’s my friend, but also because he feels like my last remaining link to Cross.
“How’s Faithful life treating you?” I ask. He looks great, his hair longer, his face covered in a sexy, scruffy beard. There’s a lightness in his eyes that I rarely saw at the Dagger.
“Oh, you don’t even know, Darlington.”
He proceeds to chat my ear off about how much he loves the Hollow. How often he gets laid, of course. And surprisingly, how he’s getting involved in Jasper’s supply business.
“So you’ve gone from a Silver Block lieutenant to a smuggler?” I say with a grin.
“Hey, it’s a fascinating line of work.”
“You just like the danger.”
“That too.”
Jasper comes over to say hello. We don’t hug, but he looks pleased to see me. I don’t bother to ask how he was able to have the entire bar cleared out just for him. The man has connections, and I appreciate the privacy.
As Jasper and Adrienne go to pour themselves some drinks, Xavier searches my face, lowering his voice as he asks, “Have you spoken to Cross?”
“No. He doesn’t reach out anymore.”
I see a flicker of…something in his eyes. I can’t quite figure out what. “You with the pilot still?”
“Sort of. Why? Are you angry about that?”
“No. As long as you’re happy.” He shrugs. “Maybe you’re better off.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. You said so yourself. He’s not reaching out.”
“Yeah, but why? Have you been in contact with him?” I push.
“Not since he tasked me with getting you through the Blacklands.” Xavier curses softly. “Shit. It’s closing in on a year now.”
I hear the note of sadness in his voice. He and Cross were best friends their whole lives, and now…silence. Of course it hurts.
Watching him interact with Jasper, I can’t help but wonder if he’s trying to find a replacement for Cross.
They’re thick as thieves, those two. Well, I suppose they are thieves, now that Xavier’s joined the smuggling business.
Still, there’s a familiarity between them that wasn’t there before.
Not necessarily intimate, but they’ve clearly grown close since Xavier moved to the Hollow.
When Adrienne goes to use the lav, Jasper saunters back to us, eyeing Xavier expectantly. “Did you tell her?”
Xavier shoots him a glare in return, his face transmitting a very obvious Why the hell would you say that?
My guard instantly snaps up. “Tell me what?”
“About your mutual friend.” Jasper gives me a knowing look, and a ripple of anger travels through me.
If Xavier revealed that Cross is Modified…
I don’t miss the gleam of reassurance in Xavier’s eyes. “Jas knows you were involved with a captain on the base. You know, forbidden romance between Aberrant and Prime, the usual sordid story.”
It’s his way of telling me Cross’s secret is safe, and I hope I mask my relief in time.
Jasper shrugs. “Happens all the time, Wren. But you’re better off staying away from those Command fuckers—”
“Hey,” Xavier objects good-naturedly.
“—and honestly, it’s probably a good thing your captain has moved on,” Jasper finishes.
I swivel my head toward Xavier, who curses under his breath. “Moved on how?”
Hesitation creases his features. “Look, I didn’t want to tell you…Well, I was going to tell you, but then I saw you, and we started talking, and I realized it didn’t need to be said.” He frowns at Jasper in rebuke. “And he had to go and fucking ruin it.”
“What exactly are you trying to say?” I ask uneasily.
“Cross has been seeing other women.”
Every cell in my body turns to ice. “ ‘Women’? As in more than one?”
Xavier shifts in discomfort. “I mean, we don’t know if it’s more than one, but he’s frequented Haven on more than one occasion.”
I narrow my eyes. “Bullshit. If he goes to Haven, it’s only to drink. Cross doesn’t visit the upstairs rooms.”
The two men say nothing.
I insist, “He doesn’t.”
Jasper sighs. “Sorry, sweetling, but he does.”
“How can you be so sure?” I challenge.
“I saw it,” he answers.
“Really.” Doubt drips from my voice. “You saw Cross Redden with another woman at Haven.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true. Walked in on him by accident. It’s actually a hilarious story. Or at least I thought it was. But then I told the LT, and he didn’t laugh.”
No. I still don’t believe it. My mind is racing, a dozen questions tumbling over one another.
Yes, I’ve moved on, too.
And yes, I’m fooling around with Gray.
But the thought of Cross being intimate with somebody else cracks my heart in a million pieces.
“No,” I say stubbornly.
Jasper gives me a look loaded with pity.
Then, before I can blink, he reaches out and curls his hand around the nape of my neck.
“What are—” I start.
“Jas—” Xavier objects.
It’s too late.
I feel his presence in my mind, his energy surging over the telepathy frequency, and then a projection explodes behind my eyes.
But it’s not a normal projection. Those aren’t static images. This is a…memory?
It hits me like a wave, engulfing my senses, rippling in my mind. It’s a strange sensation. A detached observation. I’m not feeling what Jasper felt, but I can see and hear what he saw and heard, playing out in my head like a film.
He’s approaching a door. Heavy oak, splintered with age. It creaks when he opens it, and his head jerks at the unexpected sight that fills his field of vision.
Cross.
Pulling his shirt on. Dark hair tousled.
A woman lying in bed. Young and pretty, with long hair and flushed cheeks. The sheets only covering half her body, revealing her breasts.
Cross getting up, pants undone.
The woman pulling him down before he can go, pressing her lips to his.
Jasper’s surprised chuckle reverberates in my mind.
“Oops,” his voice drawls in my ear. “Sorry, brother.”
Cross looks sharply toward the door, blue eyes filled with irritation. I know he’s looking at Jasper, but it feels like he’s looking right at me.
I growl and shove Jasper’s hand off my neck. The image of Cross’s face dissolves like a puff of smoke.
“Stop that,” I snap at him. I’m horrified to feel my eyes stinging. “Why the fuck would you do that? What was that?”
During disclosure, I remember Adrienne asking if I could project what I’d seen in the past, but it wasn’t until this moment that I believed anyone could actually do it. And of all people to past-project, Jasper Reed would be the last one I expected.
“Prick,” Xavier mutters to Jasper.
The smuggler merely shrugs. “It’s better she knows. No sense in pining over the man when he’s getting his dick serviced by someone else.”
Pain stabs into me, but I don’t have time to absorb what happened, because Adrienne returns, addressing me in a sharp voice.
“Say your goodbyes, Darlington. It’s time to go.”
If Adrienne senses something is wrong, she doesn’t comment on it. As she drives us toward our destination, I stare out the window, but all I can see is Cross. Zipping his pants after having sex with somebody else.
I feel devastated, and at the same time angry at myself for feeling that way, because it’s been over for a long time, and I shouldn’t care.
I force myself to concentrate on the task at hand, pushing all thoughts of Cross out of my mind. Adrienne’s meeting is taking place at an old railroad station at the outskirts of the ward. She drops me off a mile out, and I make the rest of the journey on foot.
My position offers a perfect view of the sprawling run-down building, and it’s short-range, so I don’t need a spotter.
The air here smells like rust and decay.
I assume this used to be a transportation hub, but now the station is crumbling.
Tracks rusted over, railway ties broken and eaten away by termites or eroded by the weather.
I clear the area, scanning every inch visible through my scope. Finally, I check in with Adrienne, who’s keeping her distance until I give her the go-ahead.
“One vehicle already here,” I report. “Armored. One guard at the door. Thermal sight tells me there’s two warm bodies inside.”
“Copy.”
I finish my sweep, ensuring the surrounding area is secure before I say, “All clear.”
Less than a minute later, our own vehicle appears on the dark road, headlights cutting through the night.
I maintain my focus on the station itself.
Most of the windows are boarded, and the exposed ones are covered by thick layers of dust, making it nearly impossible to see inside.
There’s only one that offers a partial interior view.
I report to Adrienne. “Keep to the left of the front door. There’s a window with a line of sight for me.”
“Copy.”
As the car stops, adrenaline begins to hum through my veins.
I spent years staring through the scope of a rifle on the ranch.
Sometimes Uncle Jim and I would sit in silence for hours, hunting in the mountains.
I’m used to the waiting, to the quiet, to the hyperawareness of everything around me.
The sound of the wind, a shadow moving in the distance.
Adrienne gets out of the car, and I don’t know why, but my instincts are screaming at me. Alarms going off in my head. Something about this mission feels off to me, yet Adrienne doesn’t seem at all bothered.
She heeds my order, sticking close to that window. I catch glimpses of her red hair, but I can’t see who she’s meeting with. My thermal sight reveals three heat signatures. Two by the window, one near the door. A guard, I suspect.
I remain perfectly still, my aim locked on the window. Nearly ten minutes pass. I’m grateful to have something to occupy my mind, because I know the moment Adrienne’s safety isn’t a concern, I’m going to be thinking about what Jasper showed me, and I can’t fall apart right now.
Not right now.
It’s another five minutes before I hear her voice in my head.
“We’re wrapping up. Hold tight.”
Wrapping up what?
What is this, damn it?
I hold my position. Another half minute passes. Then there’s movement by the window.
“I’m on my way out.”
“Copy.”
I’m about to shift my sights to the door when another blur of motion catches my attention. Another figure moving past the windowpane. My fingers tighten around the grip of my rifle, index finger hovering over the trigger.
Even if I wanted to take a shot, the figure moves too fast for me to do it.
But not fast enough that I don’t catch a glimpse of his face.
It’s shrouded by shadows but completely unmistakable. I recognize those handsome features. Those blue eyes, a shade darker than his brother’s.
It’s Travis Redden.