Chapter 52
We fall into a routine over the next month. One that involves a lot of time in bed. But a lot of time out of it, too. He takes me out flying. We visit friends in the valley. We have shooting competitions with Mako, and sparring matches with Saint and Henley.
It’s the first time in my life that I’ve felt…normal.
No hiding away on the ranch. No worrying that a Command unit will show up for an inspection and discover I’m a Mod. No fear of being marched onto an execution platform.
I haven’t forgotten the attempt on my life, but the more time that passes, the less paranoid I feel.
I don’t know who slipped me that heartroot, but whoever it is, they’ve evidently decided to retreat into the shadows.
As long as they’re not trying to kill me anymore, I suppose I can relax.
Sort of. I certainly won’t accept liquids from anyone other than my man.
Life at the Dagger has been more relaxed than usual.
Tana and Luisa are officially a couple, and I’m pretty sure Karra is sleeping with Henley.
Evlynne is being nicer to me, I assume because she’s worried that if she acts like a quat, I might tell everyone about her son’s bloodmark.
The last time I asked her about it, she admitted she’s decided not to disclose.
Perhaps the most promising development is that Fiona has eased up on the reins, so Poppy and I have been spending more time together, walking the trails, picking flowers.
She never wants to visit the aviary, though.
I’m learning Poppy is a sensitive soul, which probably isn’t a personality type well suited for a sanctuary with injured birds that often die.
Still, I enjoy her company. During yesterday’s trail walk, I’m convinced we saw my wolf in the distance, but Poppy didn’t believe me, she of no faith.
Tonight, it’s late, and I’m in bed with Gray, admiring how gorgeous he looks. Shirtless. Black briefs hugging his firm thighs and impressive groin. The light of the bedside lamp casts a golden halo across his face, emphasizing his chiseled features.
My hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and he keeps playing with the end of it, flicking it around like a cat toying with a mouse. It makes me grin, but when I tip my head to tease him about it, he’s visibly distracted, sporting a faraway look.
“You all right?” I murmur.
Gray snaps out of his thoughts. He rubs his face, looking tired. “Yes. Sorry. That briefing tonight was a pain in my ass.”
I nod. The Authority was in the war room for more than two hours earlier, and I know the constant battles between Kallister and Adrienne are taking their toll on the others.
“Kallister called her na?ve today. They’re constantly sniping at each other.”
“Do you agree with him? That she’s na?ve?”
“I don’t fucking know, baby.”
My heart flips at the endearment. He calls me either baby or cowgirl, and both names never fail to make me melt.
“Ade’s always been idealistic, but she’s really pushing her peace agenda lately. She believes we can share this Continent, that there’s a way for both sides to live together.”
I think about Lyddie and Roe and how much they loathe people like me, how they think we’re broken and damaged, and I’m not so sure about the likelihood of Adrienne’s vision coming to fruition.
“Meanwhile, Kallister insists we can’t trust the Company. That no matter what they promise, they’ll turn on us the moment we lower our guard.”
My brows knit together. “Wait. Are they making any promises?”
“Yes and no. There hasn’t been any recent contact, but the last time Adrienne met with Travis he said he was willing to discuss peace terms.”
“What do Teriq and Fiona think about it?”
“Teriq is firmly with Kallister on this. And Fiona wasn’t there today. She left for Bramble this morning to help their healer with wellness checks.”
Right. I remember Poppy mentioning her mother was leaving the base. The teen was complaining because she wanted to go with Fiona and was shot down, of course.
“And you still think it’s a bad idea?” I prompt.
“Don’t you?”
I absently run my fingers along his bare chest. “I don’t know Travis very well, but yeah…
my gut says not to trust him. The fact that he helped take down his own father doesn’t convince me of his trustworthiness.
If anything, it does the opposite. When you’re willing to betray your own blood, then you’ll betray anyone. ” I hesitate. “But…”
“But what?”
“What’s the alternative? Keep fighting the Company? Why not at least try to strike a peace deal? Find a way not to kill each other.”
“Uh-huh, because it’s that simple,” he says with a laugh. “Both sides need to want peace for the killing to stop.”
“But isn’t that what Adrienne is trying to do? Convince the other side to want it, too?” I bite my bottom lip. “Part of me really hopes she’s right. That there is a way to work with them.”
Gray remains unconvinced. “I don’t think we can, cowgirl.
And I’m worried about what will happen if we keep making deals with our enemy, especially without consulting our own people.
There are those in the Uprising who won’t be thrilled about working with Travis Redden.
That’s why the corruption mission was off the books.
If the general population of the Dagger knew about it, I imagine there’d be a lot of anger.
Some will think it was a betrayal to team up with Travis.
And some might take drastic measures to make sure it doesn’t happen again. ”
I stiffen. “Like make a move against the Authority? Civil war?”
“Maybe.”
“What if the majority agree? Couldn’t you take it to a wider vote?”
“Sure, but that would mean trusting that Travis is acting in good faith, and I don’t know if he is.
The problem is, I don’t know what his goals are,” Gray says with a frown.
“And the first rule in war is to know your enemy. Merrick Redden was easy to figure out. He wanted order. He was willing to work with loyalist Mods as long as they followed his rules, and as long as they knew their place. Travis hasn’t revealed his motives to us yet.
He got rid of his father—why? Because he wanted to loosen the reins of martial law?
Or because he wanted to create something even worse? ”
“I don’t know.”
“Exactly.”
I chew harder on my lip. “But even if his motives aren’t pure right now, maybe his mind can be changed.”
“People don’t change because you want them to change.”
“If we make him see reason—”
“What’s reasonable to you might seem unreasonable to someone else.”
I grin at him. “Stop arguing.”
“Stop oversimplifying.”
“I’m not saying it will be simple, but shouldn’t we at least try? If we don’t, then why bother at all?”
He lifts a brow. “It sounds like you’re backing Adrienne, then.”
“I…don’t know.”
“And what about the Mods who don’t want to make peace with the Company?” he challenges. “What do we do with them? Force them into a truce against their will? Lock them up? Exile them?”
“If we give them a choice, I have to believe they’ll make the right one.”
“Sometimes there is no right choice. Sometimes all the choices are shitty.”
“This is the worst after-sex talk I’ve ever had,” I inform him, and he snorts out a laugh.
A second later, he rolls over and starts kissing my neck, his fingers trailing up my rib cage. “You’re right. Let’s talk about more interesting things.”
“Like what?”
He reaches my breast, and a shiver skates through me when he rubs my nipple with the pad of his thumb. It sends an instant jolt of desire between my legs.
“Like how good you taste,” he says before taking my nipple between his lips. He sucks gently, then licks a circle around the tight peak, drawing a whimper from me. “You have no idea how good you look right now.”
“I look the way I always do.”
“Exactly.”
When his tongue chases mine into my mouth, my entire body starts humming.
A hot, needy clench between my legs. Soon I’m pulling off my shirt, and he’s tackling my underwear, yanking them down my legs.
There’s no foreplay. He rolls me onto my back, and I’m already peeling his briefs off him, revealing his bare ass and squeezing the tightest buttocks ever.
He fists his cock and nudges it at my opening. I’m ready for him, welcoming him inside. He thrusts deep, and it feels so good I moan loud enough to bring a smile to his lips.
“Quiet,” he mocks. “Don’t want to wake the entire block.”
“These walls are reinforced steel. I can be as loud as I want.”
“Hmm, good point.” He slowly withdraws, then plunges back in, filling me completely. “Scream for me, baby.”
I meet him thrust for thrust. It feels good. He feels good. My fingers tangle in his hair as I pull his mouth to mine, and he kisses me as his hips move, stoking the fire burning between us.
“Going to need you to come for me now,” he whispers in my ear.
“Are you close?” I whisper back.
“So damn close.” He curses, then slows his pace. In fact, he goes completely still.
“If you want me to finish, you’re going to have to move,” I tease.
“If you want me to not finish, you’re going to have to stay still for a second.”
Laughter bubbles in my throat.
“Touch yourself,” he says roughly. “Get yourself close.”
I slide my hand between our bodies, my fingers finding my clit. I stroke it delicately, enjoying the way Gray’s chest rises with each strained breath. He hovers over me, devouring me with his gaze.
“Does it feel good?”
“Mmm.” A soft noise escapes me.
He remains lodged inside me, not moving at all, and my breathing goes ragged at that feeling of fullness, the throbbing in my core. My inner muscles squeeze around him, and approval gleams in his eyes.
“There you go,” he murmurs, encouraging me. “That’s it. Fuck. You’re squeezing the hell out of me. So tight.”
And damned if that doesn’t cause my core to contract again, ripping a groan from his throat.
“Stop that,” he chides.
“I can’t. It happens involuntarily.”
I continue to stroke in tight circles until the pleasure crests and I cry out. Gray swallows the throaty sound with his kiss, and then he’s moving again, riding out the waves with me.
Gray is back in the war room before I even open my eyes the next morning.
Probably listening to Adrienne and Kallister fight some more.
I don’t know whose side I would be on if I were on that council.
I understand Adrienne’s desire to create a path for peace, but Kallister is right, too.
Travis has shown that he’s willing to sacrifice anyone in his own quest for power, including his father. Why should we believe a word he says?
Something is stirring, though. My senses are on high alert when all field operatives are summoned to the mess hall before breakfast is served, but it’s nearly thirty minutes before the Authority arrives.
Three of them, anyway. I know Fiona is at Bramble Base, but Kallister’s absence tells me all I need to know.
Sure enough, Adrienne steps forward to do the talking. “We just voted to start peace talks with the Company,” she announces to the room.
Shocked noises and irate voices hiss through the crowd.
“Fuck that,” someone says, and several others chime in agreement.
“The decision has already been made,” Adrienne says, her tone brooking no argument.
“And before everyone gets ahead of themselves, there is no deal in place. And there will be no deal without a Dagger-wide vote, we can promise you that. This is merely us opening the channels of communication to discuss the possibility of reaching an agreement.”
She pauses, and I get the feeling she’s bracing herself for the response to her next words.
“We’ve authorized a small parley mission.” She gestures to the stone-faced man at her side. “Teriq’s mission lead. He and I will be meeting with Travis Redden tonight.”
That triggers another round of outraged gasps and hushed voices.
“General Redden agreed to this?” Evlynne calls out, her features twisted in a frown.
Adrienne nods. “He has, yes. But the meeting terms are still to be determined.”
“We need transport.” Teriq glances at Evlynne. “My choice would be you, but if you’d like to sit this one out, I understand.”
“No, I’ll do it,” she says tightly.
He gives a brisk nod. “Good. Declan will join us at Bramble. And I need four more.”
Karra volunteers, which surprises me, until I remember Gray telling me she’s skilled at covert ops.
“I’d like our best snipers on this. Orin?” Teriq says. After the burly man nods, our mission lead’s gaze travels in my direction, where I stand next to Mako. “You two in?”
When Mako and I nod, I don’t miss the way Gray frowns at me. With two Authority members heading out into the field, he has no choice but to remain at the Dagger. It’s evident from the tension on his face that he’s not happy I volunteered.
But there’s no way I’m sitting this one out.