Chapter 2
TWO
ELODIE
Water cascades over me, but the spray does nothing to wash my troubles away. If anything, they cling to me more tightly than ever. I’ve never been more lost than I am now. So lost, I don’t know if I want to be found. Who would even rescue me now?
I shake my head, sending the water in every direction before I tilt my face up, holding my breath as the downpour washes over me.
I’ve scrubbed every inch of myself from head to toe.
Twice. The blood is gone, my hair is softer than it’s ever been, and my skin has a pink hue from my harsh treatment of it, but I still don’t feel clean.
I feel defeated.
My mind is warped. There are so many factors in my life that I can’t comprehend; it’s impossible to focus on one thing at a time.
Kael.
The Sanctum.
Rion.
Walker.
Thorne.
Scythe.
The Vale.
Institute Thirteen.
Everything leads me back here, to this place I didn’t even know existed until a few weeks ago, to this place that has become my prison.
Swiping my hands over my hair, I sigh as I step back from the spray, considering what I’m supposed to do with myself, when Ocean’s voice cuts through the air.
“Okay, you’ve hidden in the shower long enough, Roomie. Time’s up.”
My eyebrows gather in confusion as I glance through the fog to see her standing in the doorway. The shower glass is steamed up, so she can’t see me, but the pointed look on her face tells me she wouldn’t care if she could.
“I’m not done,” I mutter, and she shrugs.
“This pizza and ice cream say you are,” she retorts, lifting her hands to reveal a giant-ass tub of ice cream, along with a ridiculously large pizza box.
Before I can even consider where she got them from, my stomach grumbles.
“And before you try to give me some crap about not being hungry, I’ve taken that potion before.
I know it leaves you starving,” she adds, her eyebrows rising higher as I run my tongue over my bottom lip.
She’s not wrong. That’s about the only thing I can agree to right now. Perhaps I’m not thinking clearly because my stomach is doing somersaults and distracting me. Maybe pizza and ice cream do sound good.
“I’ll be out in five,” I relent, and she shakes her head, but the corner of her mouth tips up in a soft smile.
“You’d better make it two or I’m starting without you.” She turns away without another word, leaving me to consider whether I’m actually mad at her or not.
The moment I learned you could request leave flashes through my mind, the betrayal I felt simmering in my veins.
It was Rion who dropped that nugget of information, not her, but the guilt was true in her eyes when I hightailed it to her.
Did she tell me I could request leave? No.
But she did something more than that. She helped when I needed it most. She helped me run, even if I didn’t get very far, and now that I’m back, I wonder if now is the time I need support.
Even if that’s the case, she’s still the one here, silently willing to be at my aid without question.
With a deep breath, I shut the shower off, wrap a towel around myself, and step into the room.
The smell of melted cheese lures me closer and I find Ocean grinning at me.
She snaps her fingers and the damp hair that cascades down my back ruffles in a light breeze.
It takes me a second to realize what’s happening as dry tendrils frame my face a moment later. I offer her a tight smile in response.
“Thank you,” I mumble, shaking my head slightly to appreciate the fact that she dried my hair.
“No problem. I can’t dress you, though. You’re going to have to do that yourself,” she states, and I nod, my smile lingering for a second longer before I turn to the closet. The second I step over the threshold, I hear Ocean clear her throat. “I bought them before everything. You don’t have to.”
My gaze latches onto the pajama set folded neatly in front of me. The white material scattered with red love hearts matches the same pattern on the pajamas she’s wearing. Running my fingers over the fabric, my chest tightens.
“I love them. Thank you,” I whisper, certain she can’t hear me, but the soft giggle of glee confirms that she did.
After quickly dressing, I reenter the room to find Ocean has rearranged the entire space.
The nightstands have been shoved aside and the beds have been pushed together, while a projector is balanced on the windowsill, displaying The Originals, ready to watch.
Perched on the bed sheets is the huge pizza box, open and ready with some paper plates next to it while the ice cream tub has two spoons placed on top of the lid.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen something more inviting.
“What’s this?” I ask nervously. She’s doing so much for me—the shower, the pajamas, the food, the setup—I don’t know what to make of it all.
“I’m guessing you don’t have any sisters,” she says with a raised brow, and I shake my head. “It’s a slumber party. Now, get your ass over here and eat,” she insists, and I mumble my thanks once again before I scurry over to the bed.
Getting settled against my headboard, I dive into the pizza, enjoying the pepperoni goodness as we demolish it, wordlessly moving on to the ice cream like we’re not already full.
Watching the television show, I find myself relaxing more and more into my pillows, the weight of the world no longer balanced on my shoulders, until Ocean clears her throat.
“So, I would like to start by apologizing for poisoning you. It wasn’t my most significant moment,” she mutters, gnawing at the inside of her cheek as I frown at her.
“I put you on the spot and you helped me when I needed it most; I don’t regret it. Really, I didn’t get a chance to thank you before,” I admit, offering her a tight smile that she returns as I place my spoon down. “So, actually, I refuse your apology and thank you instead.”
Her smile grows as she quickly tidies away the ice cream and empty pizza box. When she settles back on the bed, she turns to me again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about requesting leave.”
I scoff, waving her off. “Really, what were the chances of it being authorized anyway?” I admit, and she winces before humming in agreement.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, tilting her head at me, and I furrow my eyebrows.
“Talk about what?”
“I don’t know, the reason why you needed it so urgently to begin with, what happened when you woke up, how you got back here, who that guy was…”
“That’s a lot of drama,” I mutter, and she smirks.
“And it’s not even midnight,” she adds, making me cringe.
It’s been the longest day of my life. It started with Rion waking me up to go and watch a movie with him. Now, that feels like a lifetime ago. Especially when it ended with Walker being… whoever the hell he is.
My heart aches at the thought of him, but more so, it hurts as I acknowledge the fact that everything he stood for is gone now.
He’s not my pillar of hope anymore, my unrelenting strength.
He’s just another obstacle between me and my freedom, another person telling me what I can or cannot do, who I can or cannot be, and everything in between. His demands know no bounds.
Another layer of pain beneath the volcano that simmers inside of me.
“The guy was Walker,” I blurt, my thoughts taking control and sprouting from my lips.
Ocean nods in acknowledgment with a grin on her lips. “We’re starting at the end and working our way backward. Nice,” she muses, referring to the order of the day, and I roll my eyes at her, but unavoidably match her smile.
Sighing, I lie on my back and stare up at the ceiling. “He’s been my friend for the longest time. My lifeline back home,” I explain, feeling her confused stare on me immediately.
“How was he here then?” she asks, and I spy her pinched brows from the corner of my eye.
“Because, apparently, it was all a lie,” I state with a sigh. I try to take a deep breath, but it does nothing to alleviate the distress I feel inside. “My life was sad, Ocean. Really fucking sad, right to the core. Truthfully, it wasn’t worth living… except for the moments I was with him.”
“With him, with him or…”
“No,” I interject with a quick shake of my head.
“Not that I hadn’t thought about it, but he’s seventeen years older than me and that was a problem for him.
I guess I know why now.” I wipe a hand down my face and Ocean doesn’t say a word.
My chest tightens as more truth spills from my lips.
“I truly believed if I could get out of here and back to him, everything would be okay, but he didn’t even say a word as he betrayed me, disowned me, and brought me back here. ”
There’s so much more I could tell her about him, but he doesn’t deserve the airtime. Not when he’s taking up so much space in my mind already.
“Was the blood from fighting him?” she asks, and I scoff.
“I wish. The blood came first, from getting out of the medical center. When I ran into him, I let him lead me here with my damn eyes closed. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would wind up here after falling back into his arms,” I admit, my voice little more than a croak, and her hand lands on my arm.
“I’m sorry, Elodie,” she whispers, and I offer her a teary smile.
“Don’t apologize, everything you said was true. Even when you weren’t there, you helped me. It took a hot minute, but I managed to get out of the medical center with your aid.”
Another smile from my roommate, and I let the ache and tension clawing at my insides melt away.
Ocean clears her throat as her eyebrows lift an inch. “Dare I ask how you learned someone can be granted leave?”
I frown as I replay the moment with Rion, and with every passing second, my chest grows tighter until my breath catches altogether. In my distressed haze, I didn’t consider what he said in that moment, not properly at least.
“Where are they?”
“Twenty-seven sixteen Cherry Blossom Lane.”
I knew they were no longer in The Vale because I knew that address… my address, but why?
A flashing reminder of the moment Rion saw my scars burns in my mind, but I quickly brush it off. He was the one here, not them, and I’ve seen them since, and they didn’t mention anything about my home, my parents… nothing.
Shaking it off, I refocus on Ocean’s question. “Apparently, Thorne and Kael were off campus. I think Rion knew he fucked up the moment he told me, but regardless, it looks like they’re back now,” I murmur, attempting to downplay it all, but the ember of emotion still flickers in my chest.
“Do you need me to beat them up? I don’t even need an excuse at this stage, but I feel like we’ve got a solid one here,” she offers, and a burst of laughter parts my lips, surprising both of us.
“No. Not yet, at least,” I say with a snicker, placing my hand on top of hers, which still remains on my arm, and she nods, but the way her nose crinkles tells me she’s not done.
“Are you going to be okay?”
I falter at her question, dipping my gaze to avoid her stare. “I have to be.”
“No matter what’s going on out there, you can let your walls down in here, Elodie,” she promises, and I have to force back the emotions that threaten to take hold of me.
I’m never like this, but I’ve never lived a day like today either. Tomorrow will be better, it has to be.
Mustering the best smile I can, I meet my friend’s gaze once more. “Thanks, Ocean, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t know how even if I tried.”