Chapter 5
FIVE
ELODIE
Icrank the water hotter as I stand in the shower, letting the spray pour down on me once again. I relish in the burn. Hopefully, this time it will help ease some of the stress that rests on my shoulders.
The remnants of my nightmare still linger, even though I’ve been awake for hours.
The weight of it feels raw and honest, like it just happened, but it was years ago.
It’s a reminder that my trauma isn’t going anywhere.
But more than that, it’s a reminder of what I’ve already survived.
Instead of letting it tear me down, I need to allow it to build me up.
Sucking in a deep breath, I try to accept it and push it to the back of my mind. The moment I do, the mess that was yesterday rears its ugly head.
My body aches, a fact Ocean said could be due to the potion, combined with the rage I exerted at everyone who stood in the way of my freedom. I’m going to be feeling it for the next few days at least.
I poisoned myself, made a run for it, and wound up back here anyway.
Walker.
My chin dips to my chest as my heart rate increases. I’ve never been more disappointed in my life, and that’s saying something considering the experiences I’ve had.
He was my figure of hope, my light in the darkness, until his truth came out and his life in the shadows was revealed. He was never my friend, my safety net, my ride or die; he was my goddamn babysitter. For who? I don’t know. The Sanctum? Maybe, but he didn’t say that. He didn’t say much at all.
Regardless, he’s dead to me. There’s no other way around it—he’s just another arrow in my already wounded chest.
Swiping a hand down my face, I sigh and shake out my shoulders.
I’m already exhausted and my day hasn’t even begun.
The thought of a nap sounds enticing, but it won’t come.
Even if it did, I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight and I’d rather be groggy now than see the harsh reality of the twilight hour.
My stomach grumbles, reminding me how hungry I am, and I make quick work of finishing off washing my body. Ocean won’t be too long, I don’t think. She darted out a little while ago with the promise of returning with food, along with sourcing a lock for the door.
I’m ready for both of those things when she gets back.
I owe her big time.
My gut twists. I used to think I owed Walker the world before he shattered my perspective last night. I can’t let Ocean do that to me too. A niggling thought tickles the back of my mind, considering Rion, Kael, and Thorne too, but they don’t have a hold over me like that.
Definitely not.
Shutting the water off, I reach for the beige towel I found in the cabinet. It’s fluffier than the others. If it’s Ocean’s, I owe her even more, but I couldn’t choose one of the scraggily ones instead. Perhaps I should figure out a way to go shopping for some essentials for my room.
Regardless of whether I want to stay or not, it’s clear that running isn’t an option now.
My heart doesn’t ache with the thought like I expect, knowing the only thing to run back to would be my parents, and there’s nothing there for me.
I’d rather stay here and die at the hands of The Sanctum than go back there.
Securing the towel around my chest, I relish in the plushness, a soft smile curling my lips that I spot in the mirror above the vanity. It makes me pause for a beat, my facial features locked in place as I assess myself. Nervously, I move a step forward, taking a closer look at myself.
The bags under my eyes look like they would be worth a fortune if there were any money in there, and the bloodshot rims around my irises solidify how rundown I am.
Other than that, it doesn’t feel like there’s anything else to see.
It’s just a girl with haunted eyes and a sad frame.
Irritated by that fact, I stand taller, rolling my shoulders back.
It’s hard, but for the first time, I encourage the strength inside of me that has never before had roots to grow.
It has to now. Where I’ll find the confidence for this, I have no idea but I will find it.
My hair is plastered to my neck, water running down my back, and I groan. I wish I could just snap my fingers and dry it like Ocean did. I’m not asking her, though; she’s already doing enough.
With my spine straight and my shoulders set, I nod at my reflection.
I have no idea what today is going to entail, but I’ve got the strength to get through it regardless.
Eager to ride the wave of confidence thrumming through my veins, I exit the bathroom, only to stumble to a halt the second I step over the threshold to find I’m not alone.
A man sits at the foot of my bed, elbows braced on his knees, fingers laced together, and his head dipped, resting his chin against his chest. It’s a look of defeat, one I wore moments ago in the shower. My stomach churns, knowing the feeling well.
“Rion.” His name is a breath, but he hears it nonetheless, tilting his face to see me.
I didn’t expect to see him here, but more than that, I didn’t expect to soften in his presence again. I have to remind myself that I’m mad at him as I tighten the towel, gripping the fabric like my life depends on it.
I’m thankful we tidied the room up this morning so my bed is back in its usual spot, putting a few extra feet between us.
When all he does is stare at me, I clear my throat. “What are you doing in here?”
“I saw Ocean leave,” he rasps, his eyes looking as heavy as mine, but I refuse to let him get under my skin.
“And you thought that meant you could enter?” I clarify, and he shrugs, looking down at his hands.
“I was worried you would do something stupid again.” His words make me pause. I blink at him again and again and again, but it does nothing to reveal the lie in his tone.
Desperate to downplay the whole thing, I shake my head, forcing a fake smile to my lips. “What else is left for me to do?”
It falls flat as he sits tall, eyes finding mine as his knuckles turn white from gripping his knees. “Are you okay?”
He makes me pause again. I hate it, but even more, I hate that I can’t lie.
“I don’t know.”
He nods as though he knows the truth, but he’s settling for the fact that I’m not lying. His gaze falls to his lap before returning to me a few moments later.
“Come here, Elodie.”
I shake my head instantly as I clear my throat again. “I want you to leave.”
“Why?” His eyebrows gather in confusion as I shrug.
“Because I do.”
A small smile dances across his lips. “Because I make your heart race faster?”
“No,” I blurt, flustered, and his grin widens.
“That’s not what my ears are telling me,” he states, tapping his ear to drive the point home, and my eyes narrow on him.
I really need to do some research on what these assholes can actually do instead of walking around in a daze. The only reason I haven’t already is because I hoped it didn’t matter, that I’d be long gone before I could care, but now everything has changed.
Rocking back on my heels, I nod at him. “I want you to leave because this is my space and I don’t want you in it.”
“And I don’t want you to poison yourself again,” he retorts, cocking a brow at me, and I huff.
“I knew what I was doing,” I insist, but his pointed look only grows stronger.
“Did you?”
Frustrated, I can’t answer because I know I was reckless, and that will only prove his point. “I don’t need your judgment right now.”
“I’m in no place to judge anyone on anything, Elodie.” He renders me speechless once again, so I opt to nibble on my bottom lip instead of speaking a word. “I’m not the enemy here,” he continues when it’s clear I’m not going to say anything.
Do I think he’s the enemy? No. I just know that he didn’t mention an escape opportunity for me, even though he watched me try to leave more than once.
“I don’t think you are, but I wouldn’t call you my friend either,” I declare, but instead of trying to understand how I feel, he scoffs.
“I never said I wanted to be your friend, Petal.”
“Petal,” I repeat, that damn nickname making something blossom in my chest, but he waves me off as he spreads his thighs wider.
“Come here.”
“No.” The grip on my towel grows so tight my knuckles ache, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he runs his tongue over his full lips.
“Are you coming to me, or am I coming to you?”
“The only one who should be moving is you. Toward the door and out of my room,” I push, but he doesn’t react as his features soften and his hands relax in his lap.
“Because we need to make up.” He says it with such certainty that it leaves me confused. Again.
“But I thought we weren’t friends?”
The smile that turns his lips up this time is darker, more ruthless, and devilish. “Your essence has been on my tongue, Elodie, and my cock has been deep in your throat. Is that what friends do?”
My cheeks heat despite my best efforts and I try to pretend it’s not obvious. “I don’t know what you’re getting at.”
“Come here and you’ll find out.”
Dammit.
Why do I want to?
Maybe if I move toward him, he’ll finally leave. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I slowly eliminate the distance between us.
My breath hitches the second I’m within reach, and he drags me closer between his open thighs. His hands are secure on my hips, flexing in place, and a slight shiver runs down my spine.
I’m screwed.
He looks up at me through his lashes, his hazel eyes swirling as they take me in, but it’s the tiny tick at his jaw that throws me. “Now say you’re sorry.”
“Excuse me?” I frown in confusion, and his eyes narrow slightly.
“You heard me.”
“What on Earth am I apologizing for?”
“Acting recklessly and putting yourself in danger,” he retorts, his eyes shimmering with an emotion I can’t quite place.
“What I do is none of your business,” I insist, and he snorts.
“Yes it is.”
I try to step back, but his hold on me is unwavering. I drop my hands from my towel to his shoulders, ready to shove off him as hard as I can, but he tugs at the towel, revealing my breasts as it flutters to the floor.
His fingers flex at my waist again and I gape down at him, watching in disbelief as he leans forward, wrapping his lips around my right nipple, all while his eyes remain fixed on mine.
I bite back a groan as his tongue dances around my taut peak before he sinks his teeth into my flesh, making me yelp.
“Say you’re sorry for causing harm to what’s mine,” he orders, and I scoff in disbelief, despite the goosebumps skating over my skin from his touch.
“I’m not yours,” I breathe as he reaches for my left nipple, repeating the same process. “Rion.” I can’t think. All I can do is feel him and watch him take yet give so effortlessly.
“Don’t act like I won’t find your cunt dripping for me,” he rasps, his lips dragging over my pebbled nipple, and my thighs clench in agreement, despite the protest on the tip of my tongue.
I shake my head. “You’re a lunatic.”
His grin is sinister now. “Takes one to know one.”
Before I can think of something witty to say back, his right hand runs down my knee before running up my thigh toward the apex as I silently scream his name.
I don’t stop him. I don’t bat him away. I can’t. It feels like it would be a crime.
I suck in a sharp breath as his fingers graze my pussy. He leans his chin against my stomach and I relish in the skin on skin contact as he looks up at me.
“This is all about making up, Petal. There’s no being gentle right now. We’ll save that for later. I—”
A knock rattles the door behind me, cutting him off as he curses under his breath. “Fuck off, we’re busy,” he snaps, his fingers gliding through the wetness already building at my core, but whoever is on the other side doesn’t take the hint. Instead, the knocking becomes more persistent.
With another curse under his breath, his hand retracts and I heave a sigh of disappointment as he stands. He heads for the door, but not before bringing his hands to his lips to run my essence over his tongue and pick up my towel to put it back in place.
I gape at him as he goes, my pulse thundering in my ears as I try to understand what on Earth is going on, when he opens the door to reveal Professor Morton.
Seeing her is like throwing a bucket of ice water over the moment and I take a deep breath, shaking Rion’s magical presence off me as I turn my attention to her while reminding myself that I’m supposed to be mad at the wolf in question.
She’s the professor assigned to Institute Thirteen, who greeted me when I first arrived. It’s odd how I haven’t seen her again until now. Apart from that one time she approached Kael, and—
“What can we do for you, Professor? We—”
She lifts her hand, cutting him off as her eyes lock on mine. “The Sanctum has demanded your presence, Miss Blackwood. Now.”