Chapter 2 - Raegan
The engagement ring feels like a shackle around my finger.
I sit cross-legged on my dormitory bed in Llewelyn territory, surrounded by textbooks on interpack diplomacy that I should be reading. Instead, I keep staring at the simple silver band Bastian Corvelli placed there just three days ago.
Bastian arrived at the university six months ago as an exchange student from a territory outside our valley.
He’s studying interpack relations with a focus on resource management and trade agreements.
Sandy brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a smile that comes easily…
. He’s exactly the kind of man any sensible woman would be thrilled to marry.
“You’re doing it again,” my roommate Dora says from her desk across the room.
“Doing what?”
“Spinning that ring like it’s going to fly off and escape.” She closes her laptop and turns to face me. “Second thoughts?”
I stop twisting the band around my finger. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.”
Dora Brennan has been my roommate for two years now. She’s a beta from the local pack, and she’s studying environmental science with plans to help restore damaged territories across the region. Her red hair catches the room’s harsh light as she stands and stretches.
“Want to talk about it?” she asks.
I trace the ring’s smooth surface with my thumb. The weight of it feels wrong somehow, like wearing someone else’s clothes before they’ve been washed. Every fiber of my being knows Bastian isn’t my true mate, yet I said yes when he proposed. The word came out of my mouth before I could stop it.
“It’s just pre-wedding nerves,” I tell her. “Everyone gets them, right?”
“Maybe.” Dora sits on the edge of her bed, facing me. “But you’ve been weird about this whole engagement thing since it happened. You barely smiled when you showed me the ring.”
She’s right. When Bastian got down on one knee outside the library three days ago, my first instinct was to take a step back. Not exactly the reaction of a woman in love.
“He’s a good man,” I say, more to convince myself than her. “Kind, intelligent, ambitious. He wants to make a difference.”
“Those are great qualities in a colleague. Not sure they’re enough for a husband.”
That makes me wince. Dora doesn’t sugarcoat things, which is usually something I appreciate about her. Today it feels like salt in an open wound.
“The matriarch thinks it’s a good match,” I offer weakly.
“The matriarch thinks about political advantages. You should think about what makes you happy.”
Matriarch Lydia Thornwick has been incredibly supportive of my studies and my relationship with Bastian.
She sees potential diplomatic benefits in stronger ties between territories, especially with the Grayhides’ recent prosperity from their Amanzite discovery.
A marriage between a Grayhide Alpha’s sister and a promising young diplomat could open doors that have been closed for generations.
But Dora’s question bounces around in my head. What makes me happy?
The answer that comes to mind is three years old and buried deep, where it can’t hurt me anymore.
“I should finish packing,” I tell her before closing the textbook I haven’t been reading. “We leave for Grayhide in the morning.”
Dora studies my face with those perceptive green eyes. “This trip is going to be interesting.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you’ve spent three years avoiding going back there. Now you’re returning engaged to someone you don’t love to face people you’ve been running from.”
“I’m not running from anything.”
“Rae.” She uses the nickname she’s had for me since freshman year. “You’ve turned down every invitation to visit home. Christmas, birthdays, and pack celebrations. Your brother had to come here just to see you.”
That visit from Oren six months ago was awkward. He spent two days trying to convince me to come home for his wedding anniversary celebration, and I spent two days making excuses about why I couldn’t leave my studies. The disappointment in his eyes when he finally gave up still haunts me.
“I’ve been busy with school,” I claim.
“You’ve been hiding,” she corrects. “And now you’re engaged to a man you met six months ago while you’re still hung up on someone else.”
My stomach clenches. “I’m not hung up on anyone.”
“Right. That’s why you get that look on your face whenever you think I’m not watching. Like you’re remembering something that hurts.”
I stand and walk to my dresser to pull out clothes I’ll need for the trip. Folding and packing give my hands something to do while my mind races. I’ve spent three years building a life where the past can’t touch me, and it all threatens to crumble at the thought of going home.
“There was someone,” I admit without turning around. “A long time ago. It didn’t work out.”
“What happened?”
The memory of that night in the garden crashes over me like a wave. Wyn’s gray eyes went cold as he rejected everything I offered him. The humiliation that followed, the certainty that I’d misread every signal between us.
“He made it clear he wasn’t interested.”
“And you’re sure about that?”
I snort and reply, “Trust me. There was no ambiguity in his response.”
“People change their minds, Rae. Especially when they realize what they’ve lost.”
“Not him. He’s not the type to second-guess himself.”
Dora is quiet for a moment, then gently says, “Maybe that’s true. But are you sure marrying someone else is the answer?”
The truth is, I don’t know if Bastian is the answer to anything. When he proposed, accepting felt like the easiest way to move forward with my life. To prove to myself that I could build something meaningful without the man who rejected me.
But easy isn’t the same as right.
A knock on the door interrupts my brooding. “Come in.”
Sera pokes her head through the doorway, her dark curls bouncing as she enters. “Ready for the grand homecoming?”
Sera Walsh has been my closest friend since arriving in Llewelyn territory.
She’s studying political science with a focus on negotiations, and we’ve spent countless hours discussing the complex relationships between different territories.
She’s also one of the few people who knows why I really left Grayhide.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I tell her.
She notices my suitcase and frowns. “You’re bringing your entire wardrobe for a three-day trip?”
I look down at the overstuffed bag and realize she’s right. I’ve been packing like I’m moving for good, not visiting for a long weekend.
“Nervous packer,” Dora explains with a knowing look.
“Right.” Sera settles into my desk chair. “So, how are we handling this engagement announcement? Full fanfare or subtle mention?”
“Subtle,” I quickly respond. “Very subtle.”
“Your brother is going to want details,” she warns. “Alphas are protective types.”
The thought of facing Oren’s questions makes my stomach twist. He’s always been able to see through my defenses, to know when I’m hiding something important. This engagement is going to raise red flags for him.
“Maybe I should tell him about Bastian before the formal announcement,” I muse.
“Good idea,” Dora agrees. “Give him time to process before you spring a wedding on him.”
Wedding. The word makes me feel slightly nauseous. I haven’t even thought about planning a ceremony, choosing colors, or sending invitations. The whole thing feels surreal, like someone else’s life I’m observing from the outside.
“When’s the wedding supposed to happen?” Sera asks.
“We haven’t set a date yet.” Another truth that should worry me more than it does. What engaged couple doesn’t immediately start planning their future together?
“You might want to figure that out before you go home,” she suggests. “Your family is going to ask.”
My family. The concept feels strange after three years away. Oren and his wife, Ash. My mother, whom I speak to once a month in stilted phone conversations that never go beneath the surface.
And Wyn, who will probably be there in his role as Oren’s advisor and protector.
The thought of seeing him again makes my pulse spike. Three years of careful distance, of building a new life where his rejection can’t touch me, and now I have to face him with another man’s ring on my finger.
“You okay?” Sera asks, tilting her head to the side. “You look pale.”
I close the suitcase and zip it shut. “Just tired. Long drive ahead of us tomorrow.”
“About that,” she says, standing. “I should probably tell you something before we leave.”
Her serious tone makes me look up. “What?”
“I got a message from the matriarch this morning. She wants me to accompany you as an official representative of the Llewelyn pack.”
I blink. “Why?”
“Your engagement to Bastian has regional implications. She wants to make sure the Llewelyn interests are properly represented in any discussions. I won’t be able to leave with you because I need to finish up a couple of things, but I’ll come up a couple of days after you get there.”
The idea of turning my personal announcement into a political event makes me feel even more unsettled. “This is supposed to be a family visit, not a summit meeting.”
“I know. But you’re not just anyone, Rae. You’re the sister of the Grayhide Alpha, and Bastian has connections throughout the territory. Your marriage could influence trade agreements, territorial boundaries, resource sharing…the list goes on.”
This is exactly what I’ve been trying to escape by coming to Llewelyn territory. A constant awareness that my personal choices have political consequences.
“Sometimes I think it would be easier to be nobody,” I mutter.
“But then you wouldn’t be you,” Dora offers, gathering her things from her desk. “And despite all your complaining, you love being involved in diplomatic work. It’s what you’re good at.”
She’s right. The classes I’ve taken here have awakened something in me that I didn’t know existed. The complex dance of negotiation, the challenge of finding common ground between opposing sides, the satisfaction of crafting agreements that benefit everyone involved.
Maybe that’s why Bastian’s proposal felt so natural to accept. On paper, we make sense together. Two young diplomats building a future in interpack relations.
On paper doesn’t account for the way my heart still skips when I think about gray eyes and the memory of a rejection that cut me to the bone.
“Safe travels, you two,” Dora tells us, heading for the door. “Try not to start any diplomatic incidents.”
After she leaves, Sera and I sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes.
The evening shadows creep across the room as students return from dinner in the common hall below.
Voices drift up through the windows, laughter and conversation that speak to a normal college experience I’ve never quite managed to have.
Finally, she speaks up. “Want to tell me what’s really bothering you about going home?”
“I told you. It’s been three years. Things will be different.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
I meet her gaze and see the understanding there. Sera knows about Wyn, about the real reason I applied to the Llewelyn program so desperately after my twentieth birthday.
“He’ll be there,” I say quietly.
“And that scares you because?”
“Because I don’t know how I’ll react when I see him again. I’m afraid three years wasn’t enough time to get over him, and I’m engaged to a good man who deserves better than someone who’s still hung up on her first heartbreak.”
Sera nods. “Have you considered that maybe you need this trip to finally put that chapter behind you? Face him, realize he’s just a man who made a choice, and move on?”
“What if I can’t move on?”
“Then you’ll figure out what that means for your engagement to Bastian. But you can’t keep running forever, Rae. Eventually, you have to deal with the things that hurt you.”
The truth in her words makes my chest ache.
I’ve spent three years building walls around the memory of that night, convincing myself that distance would eventually dull the pain.
But sitting here with another man’s ring on my finger, preparing to return to the place where it all started, I realize those walls might not be as strong as I thought.
The Llewelyn territory has been good to me.
The university challenged me intellectually in ways I never expected.
The matriarchal structure showed me possibilities I never imagined growing up in the male-dominated Grayhide pack.
I’ve made friends, excelled in my studies, even found someone who wants to marry me.
But none of it feels quite real. Like I’ve been playing a role, pretending to be someone who moved on from her past instead of someone who’s been hiding from it.
But who am I, really? The confident diplomat-in-training that everyone here sees? The heartbroken girl who left Grayhide three years ago? The alpha’s sister, who’s supposed to make a politically advantageous match?
"There's something else, too," I admit reluctantly. "I've been having this weird feeling about going home. Not quite anxiety, but something…off. I can't explain it."
"Like a premonition?" Sera asks.
"I don't know. Maybe? I've never had actual visions like Ash or the other psychics in the family. Just these vague impressions sometimes that something isn't right. But they're so unclear I never know what to do with them."
"Your omega abilities might be trying to tell you something," she suggests.
I shake my head. "It's probably nothing. Just nerves about the trip and seeing Wyn again."
Sera doesn't look convinced, but she lets it drop and heads for the door, then pauses. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Whatever happens when you see him again, you’ll handle it. I’ll see you in the morning.”
After she leaves, I sit on the edge of my bed and stare at the engagement ring. Bastian took one of my rings from my jewelry box and had it sized before he proposed because he was so confident that I would say yes.
Maybe that confidence was justified. Maybe I am the kind of person who says yes to the safe choice, the practical option, the man who offers stability instead of passion.
But tomorrow I’ll find out if three years away is enough to withstand the storm of going home.