33. Addie
Chapter thirty-three
Addie
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve reacted to people raising their voices at me by crying. As much as I wish I could scream back, I just never could.
The same goes for Hayden tonight. Although I’m shaking and crying, I still drive home carefully.
But once I reach the solace of my empty house, I let all of my inhibitions go, and I fall to my knees and sob.
You idiot. Every time you think he’s going to change—or that he has changed— he resorts back to that monster. That terrifying, out-of-control monster. Just like his father.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t at least worried that Luna would somehow inherit that Cohen trait. But thankfully, it seems as though she didn’t or that I’d managed to raise her with emotional intelligence that they all seemed to lack.
Sure, she gets angry and frustrated, we all do at various points in our lives. But she never flew off the handle like I’ve seen Hayden and his father do on multiple occasions.
Why? Why the hell did I let him fool me again? And even worse, I put my daughter in danger of falling victim to one of his wraths.
I continue to stew on all of my mistakes when my phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s Denton, Hayden’s friend.
Trying to calm myself down, I answer it while wiping tears off of my cheeks.
“Addie? Hey. I’m sorry to call so late, but I just wanted to make sure he was okay.”
“Well, if you call being surrounded by a bunch of booze and smashed glass as okay, then . . .”
He audibly gasps. “You’re kidding me.”
“I wish I was. Thankfully, I was able to clean his wounds and the mess a bit. But then he made it apparent that he didn’t want me around.”
“Oh, my God. I can’t believe this. I swear, Addie. He was just talking about how excited he was to start a future with you and Luna.”
He told his friends about us? For a moment, I allow myself to be charmed. But then, I focus on the issue at hand. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“I’m so sorry about all of this, Addie.” I can tell by the sound of his voice that he’s a genuinely nice guy. From the start, I wasn’t sure if I remembered him from the past or not. Although his name sounded somewhat familiar. “I think he may have just had too much to drink.”
I roll my eyes as I’ve heard that excuse time and time again.
“I’ll try to stop over there tomorrow and make sure everything is okay. I would’ve gone tonight but—”
“No, I know.” He’d also been drinking and didn’t want to risk the drive.
“But call me back if you need anything, okay?”
“Thanks, Denton.” Again, he seems like a super sweet man. If only your friend would take a note from your book.
After we hang up, I’m left to curse at myself some more.
Also, I decide to break into my abuelo’s infamous liquor cabinet.
Two can play at this game, Cohen. Since Hayden was drinking whiskey, I went for the same. I let the smooth liquor coat my throat after I sipped it right out of the bottle.
A few pours down my gullet later, I’m feeling a little warm inside but still mad as all hell at stupid Hayden Cohen.
Even after all of these years, the hurtful words and insults he hurled at me still sting as if he just said them. Although I didn’t leak the fucking story about his miserable bastard of a father and his affair, sometimes, I wish I did. That way, in more ways than one, at last, Hayden and I would be even.
I didn’t necessarily want blood on my hands, but at least I would’ve hurt him just as much as he’d hurt me throughout the years. But instead, I have just been his willing, unreciprocating punching bag.
And you did it again. I can’t help but laugh at the irony. After all of my attempts to stay strong and avoid his charm, I fell right back into the same trap.
With tears stinging my eyes, I think about how he’ll never change. That’s now more apparent than ever. And if anything, he’s only gotten worse.
I find a new invigorating power inside myself, and I rise to my feet.
“I’m done. I’m so done with all of this.” I’m so grateful that Luna never learned the truth about her father because now, we can escape this madness without any more attachment than necessary.
Hayden Cohen will forever remain her big, goofy friend. Nothing more. Will I ever let him see her again? Fat chance. I’d be doing her a disservice by allowing her to get close to a ticking time bomb like him.
I also don’t give a rat’s ass about my inheritance. Yes, this was Abuelo’s dream, but so was me attending and graduating from architecture school. At least the first chunk has been crossed off, and I can continue his legacy by going back to Phoenix and making a name for myself there. Heck, maybe I’ll even design and build my own Ivory Shores Hotel.
With that resolve, I call the estate lawyer. But it goes straight to voicemail.
Damn it! However, as I wait for the beep to prompt my message, I swallow and prep myself to sound as sober as possible.
“Please leave your name and number, and I will call you back as soon as I can. Thank you.”
Beep.
“Hello. This is Addie Flores. I just wanted to let you know that I will be going away for a few days. Uh, upon—upon my return, I will be transferring the inheritance back to Rosalinda or a charity. I don’t care which. So, let’s arrange for you to swing by my grandfather’s office and pick up a few documents, okay? Thanks.”
Once I hang up, I feel a sense of relief and dread all at the same time.
So, my mind goes to Sam. She’s the one person who can always set me straight.
Fortunately, she answers on the third ring. And after I explain everything to her, it’s clear she thinks I’m doing the right thing.
“Come back to Phoenix now. Right now.”
I laugh. “I can’t do that. Luna’s at a sleepover. Oh, and did I mention, I’m pretty fucking drunk right now.”
“Okay, well, hurry back as soon as you can.”
All this time, I had it in my head that we’d just stay at my old apartment. But that’s no longer an option now.
“Once we’re back, can we—”
“Stay with me?” she finishes my sentence like only a best friend could.
“Yeah. Unless that’s too much to ask.”
“Are you kidding me? Of course, you can!”
I’m not sure whether I’ve ever been more thankful for her in my entire life. Well, except for when she took care of and kept my child alive while I attended to business in L.A. after Abuelo died, that is.
“I promise it won’t be too long. Just enough time to get me back on my feet and settled into another job.”
“Don’t worry about any of that now. You’re welcome to stay as long as you and Luna need. I gotchu, girl.”
Unlike when Hayden said it, I actually believe her.
“Plus, it won’t take you that long to get a good job. You’ve got your degree now.”
“And I can add the modifications I made on Ivory Shores to my portfolio.”
“Exactly.” I’m not sure if she fully understands what I’m saying, but I still appreciate her confidence.
After that, we’re both quiet for a bit, and I start sobbing again.
“I’m sorry.” As much as I tried to stop crying over him, I can’t seem to stop.
“What are you apologizing for? You did nothing wrong here. Go ahead, let it out.”
“I know. I just feel bad for waking you up in the middle of the night and then just dumping all of this on you.”
She blows raspberries. “Don’t be silly. What else are friends for? I’m just sorry things didn’t work out like you wanted them to. You know, for both of you. It would’ve been pretty great to have your little family altogether.”
“. . . Yeah.” I take the sleeve of my jacket and blot it under my eyes. “I guess it really wasn’t meant to be.”
“Better to know now rather than waste God knows how much time. A year? Two years? And then find out he’s just the same guy you left almost an entire decade ago.”
I nod. “Fair point. But it still hurts pretty damn bad right now.”
“I’m not saying that it shouldn’t, Addie. Again, let all your emotions out. That’s healthy. However, I’m just trying to help you see that this was for the best in the long run.”
“Right.” I know she’s right, but it still feels like my heart is breaking into a million pieces.
“So, you’ll book two tickets on the first plane out to Arizona, right?”
I sniffle before answering, “Yeah. But I have to get everything settled here first.”
“Do you want me to fly out and help you?”
I swear, her kindness and generosity know no bounds.
“I think I should be okay. Thank you, though.”
“Of course.” I can hear it in her voice that she’s exhausted, so I bid her good night after that. But I also know there’s next to no chance of me getting any sleep.
Instead, I just hunker down with my emotional support bottle and continue to take tiny sips until I see the sun come shining through the large windows. After that, I stand up and start packing.
I figure the best place to start is my closet. So, after opening the biggest piece of luggage I have, I get my arms full of clothes, and push them, hangers and all, against the black, nylon material.
Ha! Due to my drinking, my eyes are a little blurry, but I’m nevertheless proud of myself for my work.
Next, I set my sights on the cheap costume jewelry that hangs where my grandfather’s most exquisite pieces from Tiffany, Cartier, and Hermes.
As I’m shoving my worthless, plastic earrings and necklaces into a side pouch of my suitcase, my stomach lurches for an instant. Although I’m not sure if it’s in the thought of my continued need to don such cheap accessories, or the alcohol coursing through my body, or both.
“Oh, God.” Stopping what I’m doing, I let everything in my hands fall onto the ground. “What have I done?”
But just like that, I change my mind again.
“No, no. I’m doing what’s best.” This is what’s best.