Chapter Fourteen #2
Leander hated emotional manipulation, but Shanlin’s life was on the line.
He put a hand on Xi’s forearm, squeezing for a moment the way the lead supervisor at their group home had always done right before she asked them to do something they desperately didn’t want to.
He established a moment of connection where it was the two of them against the world.
“Tell me who we’re in danger from. Let’s prepare for this together.” He felt slimy even saying the words, but something in Xi softened. His gaze slid away, and he curled his fingers into the slick sheets.
“I always knew the police were wrong,” he whispered. “Even when they took me away. They acted like they saved me, but they took me away from everyone I loved. Our friends. I loved you... even when you worked so hard to push us all away.”
“Tecca’s pregnancy....”
“Came later,” Xi interrupted him. “I was gone by then, but you were already pushing people away. You were a cactus, and we all had to navigate around your spines, but I loved you. I loved Tecca and Finn and... the others.” He closed his eyes, and so did Leander.
Remembering those bright flames that life had extinguished. .. this is why he avoided people.
“A cactus is probably appropriate, but I always thought of myself as a beetle–hard shell, ugly.”
“You’re not ugly!” Xi grabbed Leander’s arm, squeezing it in a much more genuine mirror of the gesture Leander had used on him.
“You’re not,” he repeated. Then he sighed.
“But the government took me away from all of you, and I didn’t see you for years as they trained me.
” The word dripped with disgust and fury.
“You were working against them,” Leander guessed. It was the only possibility that made sense.
Xi nodded.
“The dangerous people that Tecca feared were from the underground.”
“I know they moved people internationally, but there’s no reason they would come after me.” Xi’s words made sense, but there was a threadiness to his voice that suggested doubt.
“Other than you know their faces and know enough about the operation to know they’re international?”
“They wouldn’t hunt me down and try to kill me,” Xi said firmly.
They sat in silence, Leander holding Xi’s arm and Xi holding Leander’s.
The touch was too hot and awkward, and Leander’s shoulder ached from holding the odd position.
Still, Leander waited. He knew the power of silence.
Eventually, Xi sighed. “They may have wanted you dead.”
“Me? Why?”
Xi pulled his hand away and struggled to sit up.
“Because you are the poster child for why the government should control us. You had a gentle gift that should have allowed you to have a good life. You could have bought a flower shop or a farm and used your gift quietly. Instead, you make fucking drugs for a fucking monster. So yes, lots of them talked about wanting you dead.”
“Then they must have loathed Tecca and Finn,” Leander shot back.
“They celebrated their deaths as fucking karma,” Xi agreed. “I loved you guys... love you still... but other people see what you did and will never stop hating you. So if someone poisoned the fucking porridge, it was for you.”
“It couldn’t have been the porridge. We all ate it for breakfast,” Leander said almost absent-mindedly.
He was a monster, and he knew what happened to them.
The newspapers reported on drug dealers’ deaths without a hint of regret for a life lost. But the idea that other people saw him that same way startled him.
Had he spent so much time with monsters like Tecca and Druwolf that he’d forgotten how normal people would see him?
Xi sighed. “You’d make a terrible cop, Leander. Your kitchen has large bowls and small ones. If I were trying to kill you, I’d assume that you used the large bowls and Shanlin the small, and I’d coat one of the large ones with poison.”
“They would have needed to get past my plant guardians.”
“Or they’d need a magical talent that could bypass yours. I could have gotten into that kitchen with my shadows.”
“You couldn’t have coated a bowl with poison with them,” Leander said.
Xi remained silent.
“Could you?” Fear soured Leander’s stomach.
“Shadows are more flexible than people think. Most magical gifts are, and the group I was helping had more extraordinary magical gifts than the government could even imagine. Your plants are not the defensive line you think they are.” His words were apologetic.
Leander ran his hands through his greasy hair and tried to bridle the fear swelling in his chest. Extraordinary magic users might want him dead because of his choices. “Why didn’t they target me before, then? If you were helping get magic users away from the government, they were in the city.”
“And you were well-protected by Druwolf. You might not have seen it, but there were layers of magical protection around you. It’s why I never approached you at your house. I wanted to get you out. I wanted to—” He cleared his throat.
He’d wanted to save Leander... that was what he’d been about to say. Leander slowly slid backward in his chair, leaving an inch or two of distance between them. “I didn’t need saving.” His throat was dry.
“You did,” Xi said. “You needed saving as much as I did, but we were both caught by choices we made as kids. I couldn’t run using the escape paths the group had set up because the police knew me. I could compromise the entire operation. And I couldn’t get to you to offer an escape.”
“I wouldn’t have taken it,” Leander said. “I always said that when you make a bed, you lie in it.” His mother had once left him to sleep in his own piss to reinforce that lesson. The next day, he’d gone to first grade stinking of it.
Xi sighed. “I know. That’s why I didn’t track you down at the grocery store some random Monday night.”
“Why would they come to the other side of the globe to kill me?”
“We don’t know that they have,” Xi said. “First rule of police work—don’t make assumptions.”
“There are Western magic users in town,” Leander said.
Xi nodded. “It could be Druwolf’s people or government officials or members of the underground or people visiting the quaint countryside as part of their vacation. Don’t make assumptions.”
Leander didn’t answer, and after a second, Xi reached for his hand, squeezing it. Then he repeated, “Don’t make assumptions. We survived this, and we’ll survive whatever else comes.”
Leander wasn’t so sure. The rest of their group from the home were gone. It seemed entirely too easy for something to rip one of them away. “Promise me that if something happens, you’ll find a safe place for Shanlin.”
Xi smiled. “I already made that promise to Tecca.”
“Then make it again. To me.”
Xi tightened his hold. “I will. I will always protect Shanlin, and I’ll protect you, too.”
Leander snorted. “I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”
“I’ll protect you, too,” Xi said again. Leander caught Xi’s arm in his free hand and held on tightly. He didn’t know what else to do.