Chapter Twenty-Seven
When Leander walked through the double gate into the first courtyard, Shanlin launched himself at him. Leander caught him, wrapping his arms around the boy. He was surprised at the desperation in his heart, but it made him cling to Shanlin.
“I was worried about you. Grandmother Huiling said that evil people had tried to hurt Uncle Heng and that the police were talking to you, but the police are scary and it took so long for you to come back.”
Xi walked past Leander. “Nie Xiaobo, Nie Huiling. I am glad to see you again.”
“Qidi of our second son’s qidi, welcome home,” Father Xiaobo said, and Leander tried to hide his wince. “And qidi of our second son, father to our grandson, we are grateful you have returned unharmed.”
“Most grateful,” Mother Huiling said. “Grandson, your father is safe, but he and his qidi are dirty from the road and likely tired. Come, let us work on your sciences while they have a moment to soak away the griefs of the road.” She gave Leander and Xi such a salacious smile that Leander felt even more stupid than ever.
No brothers ever inspired that sort of knowing expression, but Leander had seen what he had wanted to see.
“Yes, Boon Lian and Hu Xi need time alone after being in the company of others so long. Auntie Daiyu can test the most patient of men,” Father Xiaobo said.
At least he wasn’t giving Leander knowing looks.
He seemed more focused on his frustration with Auntie Daiyu who had made a number of comments about the Nie family and their dedication to pursuits other than fathering children.
She had made it sound like compliments, but Father Xiaobo had been red-faced and seething before Auntie Daiyu had taken to the sky to fly the rest of the way back while the rest of them had driven.
“Auntie Daiyu is not the only one who can test the patience of others,” Mother Huiling said as she ushered both Shanlin and her husband toward the inner courtyard.
“What about the bad guys?” Shanlin asked.
“They’re gone,” Xi said. “You don’t need to worry about them.”
“You don’t need to worry about any of this,” Father Xiaobo said. “Go with your grandmother and after I have finished my bath and have a cup of tea, you can recite today’s lesson for me.” He patted Shanlin before heading for the bath house.
Mother Huiling gave Leander and Xi one more smile before she took Shanlin into the main house.
“Do you want a bath?” Xi asked.
“We need to talk first,” Leander said, and he turned to head into their small apartment in Heng’s wing of the house. Shanlin had left several books in their small sitting room, but Leander moved toward their bedroom.
Their shared bedroom with one bed. All the clues were there. Leander took off his jacket and draped it over one of the chairs as he struggled to find the right words to start this awkward conversation.
“Are we going to talk about whatever you were avoiding telling me in Yaan?” Xi asked. He took off his own jacket, hanging it on a peg inside the clothing cabinet.
“Was I that obvious?”
“Obvious? No. But I can tell that you’re hiding something. Are we still in danger?” Xi was tense.
Leander ran fingers through his hair. “Likely.”
“Likely? What kind of answer is that?”
“We have enemies, so we are likely at risk,” Leander said.
They had Druwolf’s organization, the American government, and whatever enemies Xi had gathered all gunning for them, but all that would have to wait.
“But that’s not what I found out in Yaan.
” He paused, struggling to find the right words.
‘I’m sorry I accidentally trapped you in a marriage’ felt too jarring.
The silence dragged on. “I understand you’re not talkative, but this is—”
“This is embarrassing,” Leander said.
Xi frowned.
“I should have seen the truth, both ten years ago and now.” Now that Leander knew the truth, he could see all the clues.
He’d been carried to the Nie house in a sedan chair.
The Nies had asked him to serve tea. They had given traditional gifts.
These were all elements of a Chinese wedding.
Leander rarely felt stupid, and looking back, he had been an idiot.
No Chinese family threw a celebration that large for a visiting guest, but wedding feasts were famous for their extravagance. Yes, he was an idiot.
“Leander?” Xi sounded confused.
Leander rubbed a hand over his face.
“Is it that bad?”
“It’s not bad... just awkward,” Leander confessed. “When you use a translation pill, the magic associates words you know with words you’re learning in your new language.”
“I know,” Xi said. “That’s why words are harder to learn if they don’t have an equivalent in English. You explained it.”
“Apparently, I forgot that rule, which is embarrassing. I told you about qidi and qixiong—little brother and older brother.”
“Yeah,” Xi agreed. “Heng is your older brother and you’re my older brother. Those relationships are why we have a place here.” Xi tilted his head to the side. “But now I’m wondering what you mistranslated because it’s clear something is going on.”
“It doesn’t mean brother.” Leander couldn’t get more words past his teeth. He hated feeling like a fool. He had long ago accepted that he was unkind and unlikable, but his intelligence was his fortress.
“Are you going to tell me what it means or make me guess?”
“Husbands. It means husbands.”
“Wait. What?” Xi stumbled back and landed on the end of the bed. “What do you mean ‘husbands’?”
“I mean husbands. Qidi is the younger husband who is joining a new family. When Heng called me his qidi, he was taking me as a husband. And when Shanlin and I showed up in town relying on that relationship, I announced to everyone that I was the Nie family’s daughter-in-law.
The welcoming feast was a wedding feast.” Leander grimaced once he had blurted the confession.
Xi stared at him, blinking and opening his mouth like a dying fish trying to breathe air when some fisherman dumped it on shore.
“That was my reaction,” Leander admitted.
“But if you’re married to Heng... and then you said I was your qidi...” Xi’s voice was a horrified whisper.
“Leaving Heng to father a child is apparently very normal,” Leander explained, “and taking another husband after that means I’m not obsessing over Heng, so that’s normal too. Now if he wanted to stay married and I slept with other people, I get the feeling it would be more problematic.”
Xi blew out a breath. “‘Problematic’.” He gave a rough laugh. “That would be one word for it. If the Nies thought you were married to me, why did they have a wedding feast for a marriage you had ten years ago with Heng?”
“For a grandson,” Leander said. “And that may pose a danger. We’ve just put Shanlin in line to inherit from a powerful family.
” Leander sat at the small game table. “I am so sorry. I feel like I keep dragging both you and Shanlin into messes that I’ve made.
This was my mistranslation.” He rested his head in his hands, unwilling to even look at Xi.
Xi crossed the room in one large step and put a hand on Leander’s shoulder. “You’ve never tried to do anything other than protect us.”
Leander snorted. “I’ve spent most of my life protecting myself.”
“And yet you walked away from everything to keep Shanlin safe.”
“Leaving kept me safe, too. I think you’re giving me too much credit.”
Xi caught Leander’s hand and pulled him to his feet before backing up to the bed.
“And you have never given yourself enough credit. We’ve all made mistakes.
The ones you and I have made are worse than most, but even though I was part of a government that tried to hunt you down and take away all your rights, you never blamed me.
You never hated me, not even when I hated myself.
” He sat on the end of the bed and pulled Leander close enough to wrap his arms around his waist.
Leander wanted to lean into Xi’s strength, but he felt too exposed, too raw, too vulnerable.
“I don’t know if I’m brave enough for this,” he confessed, his voice a whisper.
“Do you want a divorce?” Xi scoffed. “I’ve been married under five minutes and I’ve already driven my husband to ask for a separation.” His lips twisted in a mockery of a smile.
“I don’t want to separate,” Leander said, “but you didn’t have a choice in this. You have a right to walk away.”
For a long time, Xi was silent, and Leander’s fears multiplied.
“I’ve avoided dating my whole life because relationships are what handlers use to trap us,” Xi said.
“It’s worse when children get involved. The government can take them away any time because people with magic don’t have rights.
I always wanted a relationship, but when I was back there, I couldn’t have one.
Now I’m terrified I’m going to fuck up what we have because I never got to practice.
Everyone else spent high school ruining their reputations with a series of bad choices, and I’ve never been brave enough to choose anyone. ” He tightened his arms around Leander.
“I drove away the only person I ever chose,” Leander admitted.
Looking back, he could see that now. He’d been so afraid of being hurt, of coming in second to Tecca, that he had shoved Finn out of his life, but maybe it had been for the best. Finn had never loved as deeply or as obsessively as Leander.
“So we can’t make each other promises, even if we are married.” Humor colored Xi’s voice.
Leander pulled back enough to study Xi’s face. “I promise that even if we don’t work out, you’ll still be my friend. I could have had that with Finn, but teenagers are so fucking dramatic.”
Xi laughed. “You talk like you’re a hundred and sixty and fed up with anyone who hasn’t reached retirement age.”
“Sometimes I feel that way.”
“We’re both screwed up and a little pathetic,” Xi said, and Leander didn’t argue. “I have no idea how we’re going to make this work, and I’m terrified, but I’m more afraid of losing you.”