Chapter 13
The Wrongness
Jenna
My mind spins as I try to process it all.
Take care of you and let you sleep in my bed.
He’s my piano teacher and the most intimidating man I’ve ever met.
He’s twice my age and the father of the guy I had a crush on for years—maybe still do, even.
As much as I hate and fear Killian for what he did to me, I can’t deny the pull that remains.
Heat is already swirling low in my belly just from that short throat-grab and having his fingers invade my mouth.
My mind crashes back on the father-son part as the wrongness of this situation dawns on me.
“You’re his father,” I say, stating the obvious and the immoral perversion that needs to be addressed.
“I am,” Ian simply agrees.
“Y-you can’t do this. It’s wrong.”
“What? Sharing the same toys?” Killian challenges. Before I can answer, he adds, “I’ve been using Dad’s toys since that night I stuffed your mouth and ass.”
My mouth falls open. I stare at Ian, hoping to God he’ll deny it, but he simply nods.
“You can’t do that?” is all I can say.
“Why not?” Killian grabs my hair when I try to scoot away. “It’s not like we’ll fuck you at the same time.”
“No,” I protest, trying to pull away, but Killian tightens his grip.
“Let her leave,” Ian says. I dart up the moment Killian releases me. Just as I open the door, about to flee, Ian says, “If you walk out now, there’s no coming back.”
Pausing, I look at him, my heart pounding wildly. I feel like I’m hovering on a thin ledge between a crocodile swamp and a lion’s den, and no matter what I do, I’ll fall.
“No more piano,” Ian states.
“You can’t stop me from playing. I’m sick of this. This is blackmail. Uploading that video is illegal. I was sixteen.”
Ian lifts his brows. “You really think I would just upload it from my own computer? I know a guy who can have it up within half an hour without a single soul being able to trace it.”
“It’s your room. In your house. Killian’s voice.”
Ian shrugs. “So?”
“It’s child pornography. The police will know it happened here.”
Ian gets up and rounds his desk. “We’ll mute Killian’s voice and blur the background. There’s really not much you can’t do with a video these days. Even if someone were to find out, Killian was sixteen too. No crime there. Just two teenagers exploring and making the stupid mistake of recording it.”
I retreat into the door opening as Ian approaches me. “He’ll be exposed too. It will harm his career.”
Ian stops right in front of me, shaking his head as if I’m a silly little child. Lifting his hand to my face, he brushes his knuckles over my cheek. I know he’s manipulating me, but I can’t help my reaction. I’m so starved for any kind of affection that my knees go soft.
“No one’s going to find out it’s Killian,” he says in a soft voice.
My brain fires off in different directions.
What I know and what I feel. Everything about this is wrong—so awfully wrong—but there’s no good way out of it.
If I walk out the door, I’m back in my shitty flat and shitty job, working toward some half-hearted plan that won’t ever make me happy.
If I stay, I risk everything. My safety, my sanity, and my dignity.
Ian has already promised to strip me of the last one.
Is a chance at getting my dreams back worth it?
A few hours at the piano every day and getting to play on a stage again?
And these two men? Despite their cruelty and manipulation, I’m drawn to them in ways I can’t explain.
I glance at Killian and remember all the things he did to me. Ian’s words—that I enjoyed what Killian did to me. If that night hadn’t ended the way it did—if I’d had a safe place to go afterward—would it have been as traumatic?
But is Ian even safe?
I look up at him. He’s as arrogant and cold as Killian, but he also holds a steady calmness that makes me think there might be more to him. Instinctively, I’ve come to feel safe with him, but rationally, I don’t know.
“Are you going to hurt me?” I ask.
“Nothing that can’t be mended,” Ian assures, continuing the slow strokes on my cheek. “If you don’t live up to our demands, you’ll be punished. Corporally. And not just ten smacks with a bare hand. But if you’re a good girl, you might be rewarded.”
“I’m scared,” I confess. “So damn scared.”
“I know,” he simply says. No words to reassure me.
I’m about to back away from him, but then he reaches out for me. His hands close around my shoulders, and he pulls me into him. The moment when he wraps his arms around me is like magic.
There, I have my answer. The safety I feel is unlike any I’ve ever known. The world draws back, and with it goes all the worries and hurt I’ve ever felt. I sink into him, letting his heat and his strength engulf me. His heart is a steady beat against my ear, soothing the frantic rhythm of my pulse.
When he draws back, all I want to do is sink back into him. But even as he steps aside and the world draws back in, I find myself calmer than before.
“Now, leave or return to Killian and apologize for running off.”
There’s no inner debate. Lowering my gaze, I go to Killian, sink to my knees right in front of him, and say, “I’m sorry.
” Part of my brain balks at me for apologizing to the man who ruined my life, but the part that is stuck in a thick fog compels me to lower my head and repeat the words with more clarity. “I’m sorry I ran off.”
When I glance up, I see a smile spreading over his lips. It’s cruel and condescending, but it also holds so much power and desire that I can’t deny the effect it has on me.
“Are you gonna show me how sorry you are by letting me stuff your ass in front of Dad?” Killian asks.
Tears spring to my eyes for the hundredth time today as I close my eyes and accept that I’ve lost—to my own warped body and to these two men.
“Yes.”