Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
K ate
Nobody’s around this time when I drive up to the King house. I don’t see Ava’s car either. Did I misunderstand when she said to come over around lunchtime?
I check my watch and see it’s quarter after twelve. Maybe she’s running errands and will be back soon.
For a moment or two, I hesitate to go into the house because the person I’m supposed to be coming to see isn’t here. I’d love to see Ronan, but I don’t want to be too obvious about it. Ava told me that he’s started to come out of his room in the past day or so, but she’s worried something might upset him, and he’ll go back to holing up in there.
I’d hate to set his progress back any, so I hang out around the kitchen door to wait for her. It’s a gorgeous summer day like we get in the northeast. Not very humid with a ton of sunshine, it reminds me of every great summer day I enjoyed growing up.
“You don’t have to wait outside, if you don’t want. You can go in.”
I instantly recognize that voice as Ronan’s, and turn around to see him walking from the side of the house. He’s shaved and looks like the man I used to know instead of that angry, scraggly person from the other day.
“Oh, hi. I didn’t want to intrude. Ava said to come over around lunchtime, but I guess I’m early,” I say as I study his face, happy to see the Ronan I knew and loved.
He stops in front of me, and I watch as he slowly hides his right arm behind him. “She and Sabrina took Matty shopping, I think. I’m sure they’ll be back soon.”
I wait for him to ask me to come in the house or ask me if I want to do something, but that’s just wishful thinking because he makes no move toward involving me in his day before walking toward the door. I hate that I don’t know what to say to make him stay, but I’ve never been very good with that kind of thing. We introverts prefer to have people bring us along with them instead of inviting ourselves.
Disappointed, I stand there as he walks inside the house. There was a time that whenever Ronan and I were in each other’s presence, we had a ton of things to talk about and loved being near one another. I had hoped that maybe seeing me again would make him remember those days.
After I check my phone and find I don’t have any messages from Ava, I reconsider coming here. I like Ava and enjoy getting to know her, but I can’t deny seeing Ronan is my true reason for visiting. If he’s not going to even want to spend a few minutes with me, should I just give up?
Just as I think that, my phone vibrates with a call from Jessie, so I answer it, knowing I sound like someone just ran over my dog. It takes her exactly a nanosecond to recognize I’m unhappy.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” I answer honestly.
“Then why do you sound so awful? Where are you?” she asks in that demanding tone of hers.
I look around the beautiful grounds of the King estate and say, “I’m here visiting Ava. She’s not back yet, so I’m waiting for her. It’s a nice day, so I don’t mind staying outside and catching a few rays.”
My lame attempt at being chipper falls flat, but that’s not surprising. I wouldn’t have believed me either.
“What kind of people make a woman stay outside while she waits for someone?”
Taking a deep breath in, I exhale and try to explain. “They aren’t making me wait outside. I could knock on the door, and I’m sure they’d let me in. I just don’t want to.”
“Why?” Jessie asks, sounding utterly confused.
Yeah, I’m not sure why I’m acting like this either.
“I don’t know. Maybe I can’t handle it.”
“Handle what? What the hell is going on there, Kate?”
Sure I don’t want anyone to hear me when I explain things to her, I start walking toward my car and say, “I saw Ronan. He barely said ten words to me and then went inside. It’s clear he doesn’t want to see me. So I decided to stay outside. See? Nothing major.”
“It sounds ridiculous. Are you sure he didn’t have a head injury from that accident he had?”
Her defense of me makes me laugh. “A man doesn’t have to suffer from a head injury to make it logical he doesn’t want to talk to me. I’m not that irresistible.”
“Awww, don’t say that,” Jessie says in a sad voice that makes me wince.
“It’s not that big a deal. I just hoped when he saw me that he’d want to hang out. No biggie. I’ll just visit with Ava today, and then I’ll figure out if I want to keep coming around. I’m sure she’ll understand. It’s not like we’re that close.”
“Well, I met this guy yesterday who I think you’d love. He’s tall, dark hair, and yummy!” she says in a singsong voice. “What do you say I tell him about you and we get together with him this week?”
As an introvert, this is how I meet most of the people in my life. I’m okay with that. It’s just that I had such high hopes about Ronan that are now pretty much dashed to pieces that I don’t think I can give anyone else a chance. Not yet, anyway.
“I don’t know, Jess. I’m probably not going to be a lot of fun, so maybe not. Did you like him? Maybe you could go out with him. It sounds like you’re into what he’s got going on.”
But she’s not having any of my excuses.
“First of all, you’re always fun, so stop talking about yourself that way. Second of all, you need to get out there so you can meet the guy for you. So this Ronan guy isn’t working out? So what? He’s one fish, Kate. Grab your pole and get back out there because there are lots of fish in the sea.”
She doesn’t bother addressing my suggestion that she go out with him, which tells me he’s a decent guy. Not that Jessie doesn’t deserve a nice guy, but she’s never attracted to them. If she likes a man, he’s no good. She knows that as well as I do, but somehow, it doesn’t bother her.
“I’m not a fisherman. Or fisherwoman. Whatever the word is, I don’t fish.”
Jessie sighs in my ear, telling me she’s come to the end of her patience with me on this issue. “Fine. It’s okay. If he’s the one, he’ll come back. Just tell me you aren’t going to hang around waiting for this guy who clearly can’t see greatness right in front of him.”
My friend can be a lot to deal with, but she’s as loyal as they come and my biggest cheerleader. I appreciate that, even as I can’t tell her the truth that I want to try a few more times before giving up on Ronan.
“Thank you for saying I’m great, but I don’t think that’s the problem. I think it’s that he just doesn’t care about me like that anymore. It’s been a long time. I guess he’s just moved on.”
My heart hurts just from saying those words.
I hear footsteps on the pavement behind me, so I turn around and see the man himself walking toward where I’m standing at my car. Quickly, I say to Jessie, “Hey, let me call you back.”
Stuffing my phone into my purse, I spin around to face him and smile. “I hope you’re okay with me waiting for Ava out here.”
It’s a ridiculous statement, but that’s all my brain could think of on the fly. Of course, he’s okay with me standing outside here. What the hell does he care where I wait?
Suddenly, it’s like I’m back in high school and don’t know how to act, except now Ronan’s not taking the lead to make me want him. Now it’s the other way around, and I doubt I’m doing anything to make him realize he should want to be with me again.
He stares at me for a long moment, his dark eyes trained on mine like he can see straight into my soul, before giving me a little smile. “I never moved on, Kate.”
I look at him in stunned amazement. He heard what I said, and he just told me he still cares about me like he used to? I can’t believe my ears! What do I say now?
As all those thoughts run through my head, Ava pulls up the driveway and parks the car. I desperately try to think of something to say so he knows I still care too, but before I can utter another word, she and Sabrina walk up to us with the baby.
“I hope you weren’t waiting long. Come in and once I get the baby settled, we can have some lunch.”
Hoping that will involve Ronan, I turn to look at him, but Sabrina stops him from saying anything when she tells him, “Hey, I had an idea for something you can do. Come in and I’ll tell you all about it.”
He doesn’t seem terribly eager to follow her, but he does, only looking back once before walking inside the house. Damn! Who is this Sabrina person, and why did she just do the female version of cock blocking me?
Discouraged and disappointed for the second time since I got here, I force a smile for Ava and say, “Sounds great! How was shopping?”
She begins describing in minute detail how Matty not only spit up on one of the salespeople who asked to hold him but also pooped so stinky that she was embarrassed, and they had to leave the store immediately. I try to pay attention, although hearing about baby poop isn’t top on my list of topics, but all I can think is Ronan just told me he’s never moved on from me.
From us.
Maybe there is a chance after all.
Once she gets the baby down for a much-needed nap, Ava sits down with me at the kitchen table. We aren’t there for more than a few seconds before she says, “It’s so gorgeous out today. Would you like to sit outside? It’ll give me a chance to get a little sun, and I want to get Theo some fresh air. I think it’ll help him sleep better. At least I hope so.”
“Okay. Lead the way!”
After informing Eleanor of our plans, she and I walk outside with our glasses of iced tea to sit out on the patio in the backyard. That word makes it sound like anyone else’s yard behind their house, but at the King estate, the backyard goes for hundreds of yards beyond the patio and pool area.
“Ronan used to tell me about how when he and his brothers were young they’d play outside all day,” I say as she gets Theo into his baby swing that’s attached to a tree near the corner of the patio.
“They did, and I was always tagging along, once I got big enough.”
“That’s right. You lived in the house down the road on the estate. I bet you have stories from when those boys were kids,” I joke.
She sits down looking worn out, and it’s not even one o’clock in the afternoon. Taking a sip of iced tea, she sighs. “Mostly Theo. He was my best friend, so we did everything together. I rarely played with Matthias when we were kids since he never seemed interested in hanging out with us, but the other brothers were always around.”
We settle into an awkward silence after her mention of Theo. I wonder if I should say how sorry I am that he passed. I came over after the funeral, but I never spoke to Ava that day since I she wasn’t around. I heard she didn’t handle it well, so maybe I shouldn’t.
Thankfully, she interrupts my thoughts with something else entirely.
“Did you see Ronan shaved? I wasn’t feeling too good about him getting his hands on a razor, but Sabrina told me he wanted to clean himself up yesterday but couldn’t do it, so she helped. I think he looks a million times better without that mess he had on his face, don’t you?”
I smile and nod, saying he looks much better, but all I can think of is Sabrina shaving Ronan’s face. I didn’t realize they were that close. Is that why he went with her as soon as she mentioned wanting to tell him something?
Jealousy fills me as Ava talks about being relieved that he may have turned the corner from the months of being so unhappy since his accident. All I can think of is this Sabrina person is the reason he’s coming around, not me. I should be happy for him, but all I feel is ugly envy.
“So, Matthias told me last night he thought you’d become a schoolteacher. Is that true? What grade do you teach?” Ava asks, tearing me from my misery of thinking I’ve lost my chance with Ronan because of Sabrina.
“I did. I start teaching third grade at the Rosemont School in midtown this fall. I was working part-time for the past few years, but then I got hired there. That’s why I took the opportunity to go on a trip to Europe with my friend this year. I’d always wanted to, so we figured this might be my last chance before I start my job.”
Ava nods and says, “Not a fan of Europe in the summer? I mean, teachers usually get the summers off.”
As I watch Theo bounce in his seat to let his mother know he needs another push, I say, “To be honest, I’m not a fan of summer anywhere but around here. Everywhere else is too hot and humid. My father swears we have the nicest summer weather in the world right here in New York.”
She gets up to give the swing a little push and sits back down again. “I think he’s right. My brother lives in Florida, and I swear I don’t know how he does it. Hurricanes and rain every day? No thanks. I’ll take what we have over that any day.”
I start to mention about how my parents are thinking about moving to Florida if they ever finally retire when Sabrina walks out of the house wearing a teeny-tiny black bikini and a beach towel slung over her left shoulder. All I can think is she looks fantastic and has an incredible body.
“Are you going in for a dip?” Ava asks, seemingly perfectly fine with her babysitter enjoying a swim.
“Yeah, it’s nice out, so I figured I’d get a swim in while Matty is sleeping.”
Ava looks over at me with an embarrassed expression. “I should have told you to bring your bathing suit so you could swim too. Matthias occasionally swims and Ronan never does, so it’s just Sabrina and me and the babies, but they don’t really swim. They just sort of splash around.”
I wave off her suggestion, still fixated on Sabrina who at the moment is parading around the pool deck like some model at a trade show. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but does she have to look so damn good? Meanwhile, I’m sitting here in my pink sundress looking like I just auditioned for some lame off-off-Broadway production of Mary Poppins.
“I have a great idea!” Ava says as she jumps up from her chair, nearly knocking over our glasses of iced tea. “I’ve got a few bathing suits, and I bet you’d fit in one. Let me go see if I can find them so we can go swimming too! I’ll be right back. Just give Theo a little push if he stops swinging or starts crying.”
Before I can stop her, she runs off, leaving me staring at Sabrina as she makes her way toward where I’m sitting. With a smile, she gives Theo a tiny push before turning to talk to me.
“So you knew Ronan back in the day?” she says, instantly annoying me.
Back in the day? I’m twenty-four. How back in the day could it have been when we dated between the ages of seventeen and twenty?
I nervously chuckle and answer, “He and I dated, so yes.”
She looks me up and down and smiles. “Yeah, I can see that. You look very much like the type of girl he would have gone for in high school.”
Unsure how to take that but having a sneaking suspicion what she said wasn’t a compliment, I smile and wonder if holding her under the water would be rude of me as Ava’s guest. Probably. Then she’d have to find another person to help her out with the babies, and I’d hate to do that to her.
“How long have you been working for Matthias and Ava?” I ask, curious that she should feel so comfortable since I think she’s only been living here for a couple weeks, at most.
She takes a gulp of Ava’s drink and answers, “Oh, just a week. They’ve made me feel right at home, though.”
“I can see that.”
I want to say other things, but none of them seem appropriate. Sabrina gives Theo a kiss on the nose and then turns back to face me.
“It’s been great. If they’ll have me, I’d love to stay here forever. Between Ava, Matthias, and Ronan, I’ve felt so welcome.”
In my mind, I mentally correct her grammar. Among, not between, since she listed more than two people.
With a smile, I nod, not wanting to continue this conversation. Between my failure to get to talk to Ronan earlier because of her and now my jealousy as I sit here staring at her great body in that bikini, I’m not really in the mood for a chat with Sabrina.
“Yeah, I plan on sticking around. The King family is definitely the best place I could land, and I want to keep that going for as long as possible.”
Something in the way she says that rubs me the wrong way. Does she mean as the nanny for Theo and Matty or something else entirely that has more to do with Ronan?
I watch her walk away back toward the pool as I try to dissuade myself from believing the worst about her. So what if she’s young and gorgeous? That’s not a crime. And so what if she’s become friends with the man I still care for? Ronan can use all the friends he can get now after going through such a terrible trauma. Ava seems to love her, and she does help with the kids, so it works for everyone.
A few minutes later, Ava returns with two bathing suits, and since I won’t be able to get out of swimming, it seems, I take the purple and blue one-piece, leaving her with the white one-piece.
“We’ll be right back,” she calls to Sabrina standing on the pool deck.
I follow her into the house, but on my way, I see Ronan watching out the window.
And he’s not looking at me or Ava.