Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
RILEY
This is the date from hell.
I don’t know what I expected when I agreed to go out with Kieran Sullivan, but I thought at the very least, there would be some polite conversation.
Apparently that was setting the bar too high because all he’s giving me is nothing but a cold wall of silence since we sat down twenty minutes ago.
I thought this dress would have his eyes glued to my breasts as well as leaving me open for an onslaught of inappropriate comments, but I’m not even getting that. The man is literally giving me nothing.
The waiter has had more attention than me, which only pisses me off more.
I shouldn’t be annoyed that Kieran Sullivan isn’t paying me any attention, but I am.
I swirl the wine in my glass and glance around the restaurant.
The lighting is warm, and the ambiance is soft and romantic, though it does nothing to warm Kieran’s icy exterior.
“So…” I force myself to keep my tone upbeat. “What’s the plan? We sit here in silence until one of us dies, or do you think we’ll make it to dessert first?”
“I’m not in the mood for small talk.”
“You’re not in the mood for any talk.”
“Because this isn’t a real date.”
I slam my glass down a little too hard, and Kieran’s dark eyes flash with irritation.
“I’m well aware of that. But since we’re pretending to be in love for the sake of whatever game your family is playing, maybe you could at least pretend to be enjoying my company at the very least?”
He raises an eyebrow. “You want me to pretend I’m enjoying myself?”
“Well, I’m not enjoying myself either, but you don’t see me pouting about it like a toddler who missed nap time.”
His jaw ticks, which is the only sign that I’ve touched a nerve.
Good.
“Look, I get that you don’t want to be here with me. Believe me, the feeling’s mutual. But if we’re going to make this convincing, then at least try to act like you can tolerate my presence for more than five seconds.”
Something shifts in his expression, a flicker of something that looks like guilt, and then it’s gone.
“I didn’t ask for this.” Bitterness laces his tone.
“Neither did I. But here we are.”
There’s a pause, and then, as quickly as if he flipped a switch inside himself, he exhales and leans back in his seat. The tension is still present in his shoulders, but some of the ice in his eyes is starting to thaw.
“Fine. You want a conversation? Then talk.”
I reach for my wine. “About what?”
“Something that doesn’t bore me to tears.”
I scowl, and Kieran’s lips twitch at the corners.
“Why don’t you tell me about what you’re studying?”
The question almost has me spraying wine all over the table and our appetizers.
“Wait, do you actually want to know?”
“I’m trying here, Riley.” He downs the rest of his whiskey.
I narrow my eyes, trying to work out if he actually wants to know or if he’s just wanting me to fill the silence so he can slowly drown his sorrows with alcohol.
I set down my wine glass and pick up my fork. “Business analysis.”
The first bite of the mushroom arancini has me swallowing a moan.
“Specifically, data? Numbers? Solving problems?”
“Systems, mostly. I like figuring out weak spots and then building systems to optimize.”
“You would do well in our world,” he mutters, half to himself.
“Is that a compliment?”
“Merely an observation.”
Kieran’s dark eyes flick to mine and for a moment, we just stare at each other across the table.
The flicking light of the candle reflects in his eyes, making them appear more like the color of caramel than their usual deep, rich chocolate. They’re both mesmerizing and terrifying at the same time.
“All right, tell me something else. So, I know your dad was an ass, but what about your mom? I’ve not heard anything about her.”
I flinch. Mom is the last person I want to be talking about, especially with Kieran Sullivan.
“Next question.”
I wait for Kieran to refuse to drop the subject but to my surprise, he does.
“What are your hobbies?”
“You mean besides hating you?”
He smirks, and I find myself smiling back.
“Yes, besides that.”
“Well, I like to read a lot.”
Kieran nods slowly, like he’s filing that information away.
“And I like to play volleyball.”
“That makes sense.”
“Which part?”
“Volleyball.”
I frown. “Why?”
“You’ve got a very athletic figure. It looks…powerful.”
My cheeks instantly warm at the compliment, and suddenly I’m too aware of my limbs, which are way too exposed given the plunging neckline of my dress.
I quickly take another bite of my arancini so I have something to do with my hands.
Kieran seems completely unfazed. His earlier iciness has given way to a relaxed demeanor, and he continues to fire questions at me long after our main courses are placed in front of us.
He quizzes me about college, about my childhood, and everything in between, nodding as he listens intently to each of my answers.
I should hate being the center of his attention, but I don’t. The way he’s focused on me makes me feel like I’m the only person in the room. I’ve never felt like that with someone before, and I can’t deny that it feels nice.
But, of course, his good mood doesn’t last because he’s Kieran Sullivan.
Once our dessert plates have been cleared away and the check is paid, I gingerly get to my feet. I’ve had the best part of a bottle of wine to myself, and the six-inch heels Lucy decided would be a good idea could turn out to be a lethal combination and not in the way I originally planned.
I’m about to reach for Kieran’s arm, thinking that we would walk out together like a couple, but no.
He storms ahead without a second thought, leaving me to struggle to keep up with him, considering how tight my dress is and how high my shoes are.
When I manage to catch up to him, I find he’s back to not being able to look at me. The hard set of his jaw tells me that the switch has flicked back, and the Kieran I was starting to enjoy being around is gone.
The two of us stand in silence as we wait for the valet to bring the car around.
The temperature has dropped now that it’s nearly eleven o’clock at night, and I shiver, wrapping my arms around my middle as my thin dress fails to keep me warm.
I wait for Kieran to offer me his jacket, but it never comes because he’s back to being his usual asshole self.
By the time I’m sliding into the passenger seat of his car, I’m silently fuming.
I stare out the window as he pulls away from the curb, my fists clenched in my lap as I try to think of what went wrong.
I thought we were starting to enjoy ourselves, but then the moment dinner was over, Kieran’s personality switched faster than Dr. Jekyll when he turned into Mr. Hyde.
Was the whole charming act at dinner just that, an act? Did I say something wrong? Or am I just so repulsive to be around that Kieran can’t even bear to pretend to be into me for the entire evening?
If we can’t handle one dinner, how the hell are we going to survive a marriage?
I try to replay the conversations we shared in my head, trying to pinpoint whether I said something that could explain Kieran’s sudden change in personality, but I come up short.
I could just flat out ask him, but I also don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he’s gotten under my skin. So, we settle back into silence for the rest of the car ride home.
When we pull into his private parking garage and he kills the engine, I waste no time climbing out of the car and slamming the door shut harder than is necessary, but I want to make a point.
“You don’t have to slam the door like you’re trying to wake the dead.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, am I being too loud for your brooding silence?” I make a beeline for the elevator, hoping to take it up to the penthouse alone. But Kieran quickens his stride until he catches up to me.
Once again, a tense silence settles over us as we ride up to the top floor of the building.
I’m beyond furious and also humiliated. I spent hours getting ready for this evening in the hopes of showing Kieran that I’m invested in trying to make this relationship work because even though our marriage will be fake, that doesn’t mean that we couldn’t maybe try to be friends.
But I was stupid to think Kieran Sullivan was capable of such a thing as friendship.
As the doors slide open, my frustration finally bubbles over. “You know, I thought for a second that tonight might not be a total disaster.”
“Yeah? Well, you thought wrong.” He steps off the elevator without so much as a backwards glance.
That’s it.
I kick off my shoes, sending them in opposite directions, before stalking after him.
“You’re such an asshole, Kieran Sullivan.”
He whirls around so fast I almost slam right into his chest.
“Keep your voice down.”
“Why? Scared the neighbors will hear how miserable you are with your fake wife?”
His jaw clenches as he glares down at me.
“Oh, now you’re looking at me again?”
He frowns. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that you clearly find me repulsive to look at unless it’s under dim restaurant lighting!
” I take a deep breath, shaking my head.
“For a moment tonight, I thought that we could almost be friends, but then you go back to acting like I’m some burden that you’ve been forced to babysit—”
“Because that’s exactly what you are!”
I suck in a breath as Kieran’s words hit me like a slap to the face.
“I suggest you tell Ronan that I’m not worth the effort and send me back to my uncle to be married off to Sean. Because that’s starting to look better than having you pretend you’re doing me a favor by being a complete dick.”
I go to step past him, but he grabs my arm.
“Don’t act so surprised, princess. I’m the one who’s being stuck with some spoiled brat who thinks a silk dress and a smart mouth will send me to my knees and make me forget that she’s the enemy’s daughter.”
I stare at Kieran for a second, the heat of his hand burning my skin.
Our chests heave, as if neither one of us can catch a breath.
I don’t know who moves first.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s him.
But suddenly, his mouth is on mine, and it’s not soft or careful or polite. It’s angry and raw, but my body doesn’t seem to care.
My arms wind around his neck before I can stop them as his hands dig into my waist, pulling me flush against him.
My lips part of their own accord, and then his tongue is in my mouth, moving against mine in a way that has my knees threatening to give out—
No!
“Don’t.” I shove at his chest to break the contact. “Don’t do that again.”
Both of us are breathing hard as we stare at each other.
Kieran’s eyes are wild, his lips a little swollen from the kiss, and I fight the urge to take his face in my hands and kiss him again.
But I can’t cross that line. Not now. Not ever.
“You kissed me,” he grits out.
“It was a mistake.”
“Obviously.”
I flinch at his tone, feeling the last of the control slip away as the tears start to sting my eyes. “This changes nothing. I still want space, and I still want you to stay the hell away from me.”
He inhales sharply through his nose as he glares at me. “Fine. From now on, we don’t speak unless we’re in public. Behind closed doors, we have nothing to do with each other.”
My throat is so thick with tears that I feel like I can’t breathe. “Fine.”
We stare at each other for one more beat, then he turns and storms upstairs without another word.
The sound of Kieran’s bedroom door slamming shut echoes through the entire apartment and is the catalyst that finally breaks me.
I dart up the stairs to the safety of my own room and slam my own door shut behind me.
The moment it’s locked, I tear off the dress and toss it in the corner, not wanting to feel the silk against my skin for another second.
But even as I stand naked in the middle of my room, I can still feel exactly where Kieran’s hands were on my body.
My lips still tingle from the kiss, and I gingerly lift my fingers as I remember what his lips felt like against mine. Warm and surprisingly soft, a complete contrast to the rest of him.
The way his tongue moved against mine had a heat building so quickly deep within my core that it both terrifies and thrills me. I can only imagine how good it would feel to have that tongue between my thighs…
“No!” I charge into the bathroom to turn on the shower.
As I wait for the water to warm up, my reflection in the mirror catches me off guard.
My cheeks are still flushed, and my lips are swollen from where Kieran practically devoured them.
I don’t know what scares me more; how easy it was to fall into that kiss or how fast he agreed to pretend, like it meant nothing to him.
I want to believe that he’s lying, but after spending the night with Kieran, I don’t know the real him at all.
After I’ve washed off the lingering feeling of Kieran’s hands on my body, I crawl into bed and pull the blanket up to my chin. But the moment I close my eyes, Kieran’s mouth is once again on mine, and my eyes fly open again as I try to catch my breath.
We kissed, and then he walked away like it was just another inconvenience to be dealt with.
Tears prick behind my eyes, but I blink them away.
I have no right to be upset, considering I was the one to break the kiss. But the hollow ache in my chest won’t go away because, deep down, I know the truth.
If I give him a single inch of my heart, Kieran Sullivan will break it without hesitation, and I can’t afford to cross that line with him, no matter how much I want to.