Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
RILEY
I never thought a house could be intimidating, but the Sullivan mansion is exactly that. Its stone facade looms over me like some kind of fairy tale castle, except in this story the princes wear designer suits and carry guns.
I shift from one foot to the other, trying not to lose my nerve as I press the doorbell.
“Don’t be awkward,” I mutter to myself just as the door flies open.
A woman wearing a crisp navy uniform with dark hair scraped back into a braid stands before me, and she offers me a warm smile. “You must be Riley.”
“Uh, yeah.”
“I’m Elena.” She stands aside to let me in. “I’m the nanny, or rather, soon-to-be nanny.”
“Oh, right. Well, it’s nice to meet you.” I step over the threshold and quickly glance around the foyer.
It’s enormous, with a double-height ceiling overhead, and the two huge windows on either side of the front door flood the space with soft daylight.
A sweeping staircase curls up to the left, and the marble floors are so clean I feel guilty stepping on them in my tennis shoes.
At the center of the room sits an oversized table topped with a huge vase of white lilies and pale pink roses.
It should be over-the-top, but somehow it isn’t.
What surprises me most is that despite its size and luxury, the place feels warm and inviting. There are signs of life everywhere, from the throw blanket messily draped over the bench tucked beneath the stairs to the framed photos on the walls of the Sullivan family at Ciara and Ronan’s wedding.
It’s a stark contrast to the cold and sterile environment of Kieran’s penthouse.
“Right this way,” Elena says, and I follow her across the foyer and into a bright, airy living room.
Ciara is sprawled elegantly on a massive sectional, propped up by at least six pillows.
Her baby bump is unmistakable, even beneath her soft-looking robe.
Her blonde hair is piled on top of her head in an effortless knot, and her face has an envious glow to it that I can only dream of achieving with a ten-step skin care routine.
There’s a tray of what looks like half-eaten fruit next to her, as if someone’s been trying, and failing, to convince her to eat healthy.
She looks up when I walk in, and her face breaks out into a huge smile.
“Riley! You came!”
“I did.” My stomach twists. “Hi.”
She waves off my awkwardness like it’s nothing. “Come, sit. I’d get up, but…” She gestures at her belly. “Apparently, carrying twins means I’m forbidden from doing anything remotely useful.”
Elena chuckles as she collects Ciara’s empty mug and discarded fruit plate. “Can I get you anything, Riley? Water? Coffee?”
“An escape plan?” Ciara adds, and I laugh, feeling my nerves ease a little. “I’m okay, thanks.”
“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Elena.”
As soon as she disappears, Ciara turns back to me. “Ronan’s even put the poor woman on patrol to make sure I don’t sneak off to do laundry.”
I laugh and sink cautiously into the corner of the couch.
“Is it really that bad to be on bed rest? I mean, think of all the reality shows you can catch up on.”
“Trust me, the novelty wears off pretty quickly. I mean, I’m pregnant, not incapacitated. But try telling that to Ronan.”
Despite the elegant surroundings and the intimidating legacy of her last name, I find myself relaxing a little as Ciara chats away at me as if she’s known me for years.
“I’m really glad you came. I was starting to consider faking contractions just to get some attention that isn’t about vitamins or how much water I’ve had.”
“Sounds fun.” I grin.
“Oh, it’s a thrill a minute,” Ciara deadpans, then grins. “Now tell me about life on the outside so I can live vicariously through someone who can still see her feet.”
“There’s not much to tell. I’ve been on house arrest for the past week.”
“That comes with the territory of being married to a Sullivan.” Ciara sighs, rubbing her belly. “How is everything going with Kieran?”
“It’s…complicated.”
I kick off my shoes and curl my feet up beneath me as Ciara gives me a knowing look.
“Why am I not surprised. Nothing about those boys is ever simple.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I will say, you and Kieran make a very cute couple.”
At my confused expression, she adds, “I saw your wedding video.”
“Oh, god.” I cover my face with my hands.
“I must say, the Elvis impersonator really classed it up.”
“In my defense, that was Kieran’s idea.”
“Either way, you look good together.”
My cheeks burn as I think back to that night.
“It’s not real.” I fiddle with a loose thread on my top.
“Are you sure about that?”
I glance up and see Ciara’s mouth twitching.
I nod. “It’s just a business arrangement, that’s all.”
Ciara snorts. “You mean the kind of business arrangement where you blush when someone mentions his name?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Only to anyone who isn’t a complete idiot. Besides, I’ve been exactly where you are and trust me when I say, you can fight it all you want, but you won’t win.”
When I don’t say anything, her eyes soften.
“Something happened, didn’t it?”
I exhale slowly as my throat thickens with tears.
Admitting that I lost my virginity to Kieran wasn’t something I was planning on sharing with Ciara, considering the fact I’ve just met her, but it seems like something she could help talk me through.
“Yeah.”
And just like that, it all comes spilling out. From the night I slept with Kieran to how I overheard him talking to Ronan afterward.
Ciara listens silently as I ramble on, with no hint of judgment in her eyes. Instead, there is only understanding, the kind that comes from knowing the Sullivan men better than anyone should.
By the time I’ve finished, I’m fighting back tears, and Ciara reaches over to squeeze my hand.
“I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt. But to me, it sounds like you heard one sentence out of an entire conversation.”
“It was all I needed to hear to know how Kieran really feels.” I wipe the corner of my eyes with my sleeve.
“Was it? Ronan and Kieran… They’re both experts at saying things they don’t mean just to push each other’s buttons. Have you ever considered that maybe you weren’t the problem at that moment? That maybe it wasn’t even about you?”
I frown. “I don’t know… Maybe.”
Ciara drops my hand and leans back against the cushions, her hand returning to her belly.
“Listen, I know how easy it is to feel like you’re drowning around these men. They’re powerful, intense, and overprotective to the point of insanity. But sometimes, what feels like control is really just…fear.”
“Fear?”
“They’re not good at vulnerability, Riley. Kieran especially. He’s scared to death of caring about someone and even more terrified of losing them.”
Ciara’s words hit a little too close to home because I’ve felt that same fear. It’s like an instinct that is hardwired into my brain. The second I feel myself start to care, I push back because that way I get to control who hurts me.
It’s what I’ve been doing to Kieran ever since we got back from Vegas. I just never considered the possibility that he might also be doing the same to me.
“I guess I didn’t think about it like that.”
Ciara offers me a sympathetic smile. “Don’t get me wrong, Kieran can be a pain in the ass, and I’m not usually one to run to his defense, believe me.
But I have also learnt through Ronan not to take the Sullivans at face value.
As much as they pretend to be made of stone, they care.
Sometimes, a little too much. So, before you shut him out for good, maybe talk to him?
You might be surprised by what he says.”
I chew the inside of my cheek. “Maybe. I just…I don’t know if I can handle it. What if I was right and that is how he really feels?”
“You will deal with it like you’ve done every other hardship in your life.”
“Did you ever feel like this about Ronan?”
Ciara looks up from where she’s gently rubbing her stomach in slow, absentminded circles. There’s a far-off look in her eyes, soft and thoughtful, before a small, knowing smile curves her lips.
“Oh, definitely. Ronan and I had a rocky start, that’s for sure. I mean, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of becoming a Sullivan, either. For a long time, I felt like an outsider.”
I nod slowly.
That part feels painfully familiar.
Her voice turns softer. “But, somewhere along the way, I started to care for him in a way I never had for anyone. Not in the way I expected, and not all at once, but bit by bit, he became this constant for me. A rock, when everything else in my world felt like chaos. He gave me something to hold onto when I was barely holding myself together.”
I chew on her words, glancing down at my hands. “It worked out well for you.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Riley. It wasn’t a straight path. It took a lot of work and talking to Ronan about feelings was like talking to a brick wall most days.”
I smile faintly. “That sounds familiar.”
“I bet it does. Kieran and Ronan are more alike than they want to admit. All that brooding and control and pretending they don’t feel things? It’s all just a front.”
“So, how did you do it? How did you get through to Ronan?”
“A hell of a lot of arguments, but mostly just calling him on his bullshit when he tried to push me away.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
“It was.” She chuckles. “But it was worth it. Ronan needed someone who wouldn’t let him hide behind the walls he built. Someone who wouldn’t see him as just the heir or the boss, but as a person with emotions and flaws. It just took him longer to admit it.”
I exhale, fiddling with the edge of the throw pillow beside me. “Kieran’s like that. He pushes and pulls, and I never know where I stand. And I—” I hesitate. “I just want to scream at him most of the time.”
Ciara grins. “Then scream at him. Seriously. These men grew up in a world where emotions are seen as weakness and sometimes, you have to shake the foundation a little to get through.”
My smile wavers. “What if I shake it and it all falls apart?”
Ciara tilts her head, her voice gentle. “Then it wasn’t strong enough to begin with. But from what you’ve said…there’s something real between you two. Maybe it started out as fake, but it doesn’t look fake now.”
I look up at her, my chest tight.
“You’re scared,” she adds. “That’s okay. I was, too. But if he makes you feel safe, not just physically but emotionally, you owe it to yourself to see where it goes. Talk to him, Riley. Don’t let silence decide for you.”
I nod slowly, trying to swallow the lump forming in my throat.
Ciara’s grin returns. “Besides… If he hurts you, I’ll waddle over there myself and kick his ass.”
“I would pay to watch that.” I laugh, and Ciara winks at me.
“Come on. Let’s forget about the Sullivan boys for the rest of the day. I need a distraction, and you need sugar.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Elena?” Ciara calls out. “Can you please bring us all the junk food we have? Literally all of it.”
There’s a muffled response from outside the door and five minutes later, Elena appears carrying a tray so overloaded with snacks it looks like it belongs at a birthday party for ten-year-olds. There’s everything from chips, cookies, popcorn, chocolate bars, and several types of candy.
“Elena, you’re an angel.” Ciara sighs as Elena sets down the tray on the table in front of us.
She chuckles. “Just don’t tell Ronan, or he’ll have my head.”
“He’ll have to go through me first.” Ciara is already reaching for the chocolate.
As soon as Elena disappears, I dive into the snacks as Ciara finds a romantic comedy on one of the streaming services on the enormous TV.
“This is amazing,” I say between a mouthful of popcorn.
“What’s crazy is that this isn’t even the media room.” Ciara laughs. “If you think this TV is big, you should see the one in there.”
“What is it with the Sullivan men and their obsession with having the biggest of everything?”
“I know, right? You would think that they were overcompensating for something, but if Kieran is anything like Ronan, there is no overcompensating necessary.”
I almost choke on my popcorn. “I think you would get on well with my friend Lucy.” I chuckle. “You have the same sense of humor.”
“You should invite her over next time. And I can have my best friend Mila join us too. That way it’s a proper girls’ night.”
“I’d really like that.”
We talk during the movie and laugh through the ridiculous parts and as the time passes, I relax. My shoulders aren’t clenched, and my chest doesn’t feel like it’s caving in. For the first time in weeks, maybe longer, I feel like I can actually breathe.
As I lie there, stretched out across one side of the couch half-buried under a pile of blankets, I can almost imagine what it would be like if this wasn’t temporary.
As if Ciara and I lounging around like sisters at a slumber party while our husbands do whatever dangerous, secretive things they do, was my real life.
I imagine summer afternoons in this mansion, with kids running barefoot down the hallways and Ciara yelling from the kitchen while I help set up for dinner. I imagine Kieran showing up, his sleeves rolled up and a scowl firmly in place, only for it to melt the second he sees me.
It’s not a fantasy full of fireworks or epic romance, but something quieter and safer.
It feels like a real home.
I haven’t felt anything close to that since I was fourteen. Since the last time my mom and sister were alive and our house smelled like cinnamon rolls and my mom’s perfume.
The ache starts to bloom in my chest again, but I push it down, not wanting the familiar sting of grief to cloud the fun I’m having with Ciara.
By the end of the second movie, Ciara and I are both in a full-blown sugar coma, curled up on opposite ends of the massive couch with a half-empty bowl of popcorn balanced between us.
“You know,” Ciara mumbles as she fights sleep. “I think you will like being a part of this crazy family, Riley.”
I smile, my eyes heavy and my heart full in a way I didn’t expect. “Yeah. Maybe I will.”