Chapter 13 #2
And her scent is so damn mouthwatering. It was her I smelled when I was coming down the stairs—the vanilla and sugar. If that means Mom didn’t make cookies, that’s fine. I can eat Lila’s cookie instead.
Wait. No. That’s bad. This is Lila. Is she even legal?
“How old are you now?” I ask, taking a step back and then another.
She rolls her eyes and giggles. “Still the same age as Kenzie.”
I don’t laugh with her, still too mind fucked to do math. “You didn’t answer the question.”
“You don’t know how old your sister is?” she teases.
“Right now, I’m don’t even know my name.”
I can’t believe I just said that. Out loud. With words and my voice.
Her giggle blooms into a full laugh. “I’m eighteen, silly.”
Thank fuck. I bite my tongue so I don’t say that out loud too.
And seriously, I’m so damn glad she’s legal because there’s a strong chance I’ll be taking an after-dinner shower to fuck my fist while picturing her thighs. I’ll just have to pretend they belong to someone else.
Oblivious to my carnal thoughts and new hygiene plan, she says, “I heard you got your degree. Criminal Science, right?” She widens her eyes at me, prompting my response.
“Yeah.”
“And now you’re back?”
“Yeah.”
She inclines her head. “Back for good?”
Getting my footing back under me, I increase from one-word answers to two. “For now.”
“What’s your big plan? I bet you’ve got it all figured out.”
I roll out my shoulders, shrugging off some of the tension. “I’ve got some applications in for a few agencies scattered across the state.”
“Agencies?”
“Yeah. Law enforcement agencies. You know, police departments, sheriff’s offices, and so on.”
“Oh. Kenzie said something about the FBI.”
Of course she did. Why wouldn’t my sister highlight my first failure?
“I did the initial assessment process with the bureau, but they passed me over for now. Said they want me to get some experience under my belt. After a few years of local PD work, I’ll try again.”
“Ah. That makes sense. I’m sure you’ll be ready for that soon. You’ve always been determined to go after your goals.”
“Right. I tend to lock in on something I want.” I inch forward, unable to resist the pull. “And then I don’t quit until I get it.”
“Yep.” She wobbles her head adorably, cheeks flaming red as she probably picks up on my innuendo. “That’s exactly what I meant. You’re very intense. About those, um, goals.”
Her gaze swipes from my eyes to my chest and up again. The column of her throat bobs with a forced swallow. She tries to play it off with a fake cough as she looks away. Her tongue dabs at her lips nervously, and she fiddles with her hands.
Oh, this is interesting. She’s taken with me too.
Then again, wasn’t she always? Not to be cocky, but I’m pretty sure she had a crush on me when she was younger. I ignored it then, but now? I don’t think I want to pretend this crush away.
I let the silence linger, all too happy to simply study her. It’s still almost impossible to believe this is the same girl who I caught shoving an entire plate of cookies into her backpack.
Like earlier, our eyes fasten back into place, and we settle into the moment, letting the connection amplify. She doesn’t shy away from my intense stare, nor do I try to escape hers.
In the distance, I assume the clock ticks the seconds away. But for all I know, time might have stopped.
Something inside me . . . shifts.
Shifts apart? Away?
Nope. It shifts into place.
The longer I look into her eyes, the more noticeable the change becomes until it’s so profound it threatens to steal my breath.
It’s not lust or anything like that. Certainly not love.
It’s different. Almost foreign.
Yet I recognize the feeling all the same. It’s the one I’ve been searching for since I was a boy.
I never expected to find this sensation. Damn sure never thought I’d feel this way in this house, of all places.
No, I’m not talking about how my dick feels. Get your head out of the gutter.
This isn’t a physical thing. At least, I don’t think it is.
Suddenly, I’m home.
I won’t say it’s the perfect pair of shoes I’m slipping into. But the lock isn’t as rusty as it was a few minutes ago. And I think my key just might fit.
In the solitude of the moment, Lila and I draw closer to each other. Both intent on removing the space separating us as if we’re under compulsion.
I don’t touch her. Don’t kiss her.
But damn, I want to.
“What the fuck is happening in here?”
Kenzie.
Of course. If anyone is gonna interrupt a moment when I feel half alive, it’ll be Kenzie. Every fucking time.
Lila steps back and crosses her arms at her chest. Instinctively, I do the same.
Naturally, that makes us both look guilty. I let my arms lower to my sides instead. I’ve got no reason to be ashamed. I did nothing wrong.
Lila’s smile returns like a mask slipping into place. Huh. “Look, Kenz. Reed’s home.” Her voice holds hints of manic energy.
“Hooraaay,” my sister drawls mockingly as she slinks into what was once a happy little space bubble.
And she pops it.
She turns her back on me, facing Lila. “Why don’t you go help my mom get dinner on the table while I greet my dear sweet brother?”
Here we fucking go. I already see where this plane is landing before we even arrive at the airport.
From over the top of Kenzie’s head, I watch Lila to see how she reacts to being banished. Her smile widens impossibly. “Sure thing. Happy to help.” She scampers off, proving that she’s still under Kenzie’s thumb.
As Lila leaves, she takes with her all the comfort and rightness I felt moments ago. A different type of tension takes its place.
Once Lila’s all the way out of the room, Kenzie spins to face me. The movement is slow and deliberate, as if she’s attempting to be ominous. Give me a break.
Kenzie’s also changed since I last saw her, some of the youthful lines of her face having faded. But she’s still the little squirt she’s always been. Only now, she wears more makeup.
“What’s up, cuck fluffer?” she snarks her typical greeting.
In true sibling form, I reciprocate. “Well, if it isn’t Emo Barbie after a bender.” I spread my arms, knowing fully she won’t hug me. “Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”
Which is none. So probably yes.
Wearing a faux smile eerily similar to the one Mom wore to greet me moments ago, Kenzie taps my chest twice to dismiss my suggested embrace. It’s simultaneously condescending and a touch affectionate. “I haven’t fallen ass-first into the toilet bowl in ages. What’s not to miss?”
“I’ll be sure to leave the seat up tonight to rectify that immediately.”
She narrows her eyes at me, lips pressing together like she’s fighting a smile. My stoic mask slips too as we both stop posturing. After another beat, we share a cleansing laugh.
Although I don’t foresee ever becoming friends with Kenzie, she’s still my sister. Not by blood, but by the years we spent together under this roof. There’s some love here.
A tiny bit, which is probably as much as I’m capable of ever experiencing.
From the other room, Mom summons us. “Dinner is on the table, kids.”
I throw my arm over Kenzie’s shoulder, and we stroll toward the dining room. As we enter the hallway, she tweaks one of my nipples.
Hard.
I jerk out of her reach, cupping my chest protectively. “Ouch. The fuck is wrong with you?”
“Consider that a friendly warning,” she hisses.
“For what?”
Kenzie looks over both shoulders before getting up in my face. Well, as up in my face as she can be at five foot nothing.
She jabs her finger at me, stiff and unyielding like a knife. “Stay away from Lila. You hear me?”
I don’t respond initially, buying time to decide if she’s being serious or still playing around. You never know with her.
When her finger remains sharply in place, and her expression doesn’t even hint at anything remotely friendly, I decide she’s absolutely serious.
Fucking hell. Even though I saw this coming, it still sucks balls.
“What are you talking about?” I hedge.
“Don’t play dumb. You were two seconds from humping her leg when I walked in here. She’s mine. Not yours.”
Staking her claim on Lila like she’s nothing more than a toy or a possession. Classic Kenzie.
“Humping her leg? Puh-lease. She just hugged me because she was happy to see me. That’s all you walked in on.”
“Bullshit. I’m not one of your dumb girlfriends you can lie to. Keep your wart-covered dick away from my friend. She’s delicate.”
I open my mouth, ready to defend myself and Lila. But I don’t. It’s not worth it. When Kenzie’s like this, there’s no changing her mind.
She’s always been this way. It’s as if she’s physically unable to let me be happy. And since she was Mom’s real child, there were never any consequences. Mom fed the fucking entitlement to Kenzie with a diamond-encrusted spoon.
She notices my lack of a response, already assuming the victory. “Don’t make me tell you again.”
I put my hands up, wordlessly capitulating to her demand.
For show.
If I decide to do something with Lila, Kenzie damn sure isn’t gonna stop me.
And that’s a big if.
Hell, I just got here. Yeah, Lila and I had a moment. It was probably nothing. I’ll be gone soon enough, anyhow.
Since she won this round, Kenzie’s body language loses some of its open hostility. “Good.” She curls her lips into a wolfish grin. “Besides, Lila’s too good for you.”
“Couldn’t resist, could you?”
“I call it like I see it.”
Home sweet home.
Present Day
From that night on, everything changed.
I initially planned to find a job as far away as possible.
Somewhere along the line, that desire changed.
I turned down my first few job offers because they required moving out of the area.
I lied to myself about the reason I was reluctant to go, insisting I was staying to care for Dad as he battled his demons.
Then the divorce came, followed by his illness.
To some extent, he did need me. And I was honored to be there for him.
The real reason I didn’t take those jobs out of the area?