Chapter 16 #2
“I have a crime to solve, cookie. I probably won’t be around the casino much for a while.”
My brows furrow, but I force them to relax almost instantly. “Well, then I’ll see you when I see you.”
“Soon,” he adds with a flirty wink.
“Soon?” I parrot, mine a question.
“For our next date.”
Deciding on the spot to play a little hard to get, I shrug. “We’ll see about that, Detective Delusional.”
Right before I close the door, he dashes forward to stop me. My entire body tenses on instinct at his sudden attack.
Except it’s not an attack.
And nothing could protect me from what he does next—a soft, feather-light kiss on my cheek. Then he’s gone.
Reed Hayes is going to destroy me. Again.
Exhaling, I answer Kenzie’s question for the third time. “Nooo. I didn’t bring it up. Let’s think of it as laying the groundwork.”
Perhaps she’s finally hearing me since her response changes this time. “And he didn’t pepper you with questions either?”
“Correct. He didn’t ask me anything about Silas or that other guy. He didn’t ask about the lady from work whose home was hit. Nothing like that.”
She purses her lips. “And you didn’t ask about his case or what he was investigating?”
“I already know what he’s investigating, Kenzie.
Okay? So why would I want to turn the attention back on me before I’ve even built up the slightest bit of trust with Reed?
I need to be tactful with how I do this.
If I start blurting out questions about the investigation, he’s gonna see right through me.
And he’ll either lie about it or shut me out.
Neither will help us, and I’ll end up turning myself in while hoping they go easy on me. ”
She scoots closer to me on the couch, taking my hand.
“You aren’t really thinking about doing that, are you?
” Her voice softens, all former indignation from her earlier line of questioning gone without a trace.
“It’s not your fault, Lila. Nothing that happened was your doing.
You shouldn’t have to suffer because of it. ”
“I know. But what other choice do I have? Silas and his friends are dangerous. Someone could get killed. How can I live with that on my conscience?” Shrugging out of her grasp, I stand.
My voice trembles like my legs. “Honestly, how could you live with it? You could go to the cops and tell them what happened to you. It would be enough for them to stop them from hurting other people.”
Kenzie springs to her feet, hitting me with the most pained expression I’ve ever seen her wear.
“I cannot do that to you, Lila. I refuse. Of all the people in the world, you’re the least deserving of what he’s done.
You’ve always been there for me, and I’m gonna be there for you this time. I won’t let you suffer.”
A sheen of tears coats my eyes, obscuring my vision. Once they crest over, I see that she’s crying too.
And we hug, both knowing the only way out of this mess is for me to stay the course. I just hope I can do it before someone else falls victim to those monsters.
When I pull away, we lower back to the couch. Grabbing the remote, she does something she almost never does. She hands it to me.
“You had to suffer through a dinner with Reed. You’ve earned it.”
My shoulders shake with a silent laugh. “It wasn’t that bad. He’s kind of funny.”
“Oh no. Don’t get attached, Lila.”
“I’m not,” I contend, unsure whether I believe the words.
“Surely you haven’t forgotten what he did to you.”
My chin tips up. “I haven’t forgotten.”
Never will.
“Remember, this is all fake. But those were real tears you cried over him. For days and days. I’ll never forgive him for hurting you.”
I toss my arm over her shoulder, snuggling deeper into the couch. “I won’t either.”
It isn’t a lie. Even if my heart objects, I won’t simply forgive and forget.
Reed says he wants a fresh start. For the life of me, I can’t imagine doing that. How?
Those things happened. He broke my heart. Callously. And never looked back.
Well, until now. When he wants something from me.
Kenzie says he’s always been a selfish prick. I never saw him that way until the day after I gave him my body and my heart.
He was hurting. His dad had just died, and I know that type of grief so well. It makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do.
I probably should go easy on him, all things considered. It would be kind of me to make amends and offer him my forgiveness. Bygones and all.
Yet I can’t forgive what he did. Especially since he’s never apologized or even acknowledged his actions.
That night we shared wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment, casual thing born solely from grief. It was brewing for years. He wanted me, and I desperately wanted him.
The stars aligned. It was the start of something beautiful.
Or so I thought.
Turns out, he was using me to get his rocks off and take his mind off his grief. Sure, he might have desired me. And I desperately wanted him. But he didn’t need to go after my heart when he only wanted my body.
All the promises he made to me that night never materialized. The first thing he did after getting what he wanted from me was to destroy me, making me feel like a cheap piece of trash. A convenient body and nothing else.
Reed took a mallet to my heart, leaving the shards scattered on the floor.
Kenzie was there to help me pick them up.
How could we ever have a fresh start after that? I can’t find it in me to offer him mercy. Not when I’m still trying to glue the jagged pieces of my heart back together.