Chapter 37 #2
“Yep.” She pops the P sound, then sighs. “His message came through loud and clear. That man promises pain.” Her face perks up, not with happiness but with a sudden blast of fear. “Is he the one you think is after me?”
“Don’t worry, baby. He’s in custody. I arrested him last night.”
Lila exhales, her frame visibly relaxing with that news.
I bite my tongue to stop from rattling off the story of how it all unfolded, and that his arrest was for that heinous murder. Lila doesn’t need to be burdened with those details.
Then again, it might give her some comfort to know one thing. “You don’t need to worry about him anymore. He’ll be denied bail when he sees the judge today, since he was arrested with a gun. As a felon, he isn’t allowed to carry.”
Another surge of relieved air whooshes from her.
My mind runs through the details of the investigation as I give Lila a little break to process everything.
Riddick’s formal homicide charges are already in the works. Later, whatever we uncover about his role in the casino ring will be tacked on. For now, he’s off the streets. Most likely, he’ll never see the light of day as a free man.
His drinking buddy, Ginny Lawrence, refused to cooperate last night.
She denied any involvement and gave no explanation for how she went from inconsolable grieving girlfriend to drinking and watching the game a few hours later in a bar on the other side of the state.
She kept saying she pled the sixth. We got the feeling her head is a desert wasteland.
Since we didn’t have anything concrete to detain her with, she was released in the wee hours of the morning. Until we know more about her involvement, Carson’s keeping tabs on her phone’s GPS and digital tracks.
For the next few minutes, Lila tells me more about Silas. Unfortunately, she never went to his house or met any of his friends. They weren’t together long. The only phone number she has for him is the burner phone she’s been texting with. Naturally, she had no idea it was a burner number.
Every last word is believable.
Even if I wasn’t head over heels for her, I couldn’t find a single sketchy word in her story. It’s credible and exactly what we surmised from the mounting evidence. Things we didn’t quite have hammered out, she smoothed out for us.
When she eventually runs out of things to share, only one question remains for me.
Part of me doesn’t want to know the answer, but I ask regardless.
“Why did you agree to the dates with me? It’s the only thing I can’t reconcile with what you were going through.
It doesn’t make sense unless you wanted me to find out.
Yet if you wanted me to know, you could have told me at any time. I’m out of guesses.”
She laughs morosely, letting her head flop onto the sofa cushion. “You aren’t gonna believe this.”
I caress her chin, lovingly tilting her face in my direction. “Try me.”
“Your sister encouraged me to do it. It was her idea. I put up a fight the entire time.”
Pow. My mind is blown. “No shit?”
“Yep. The same person who lied to us to keep us apart five years ago was the one who all but shoved me into your arms. Unbelievable, right?”
Well, that makes no fucking sense. You’d think Kenzie would want to keep us apart to avoid the risk we’d find out about her deceit. I say as much. “I would have expected the opposite from her. What reason did she give?”
“You probably aren’t gonna like this. Since we’re putting all our cards on the table, here goes.” She mumbles under her breath, “Big girl panties, Lila.”
I desperately want to kiss her. Not only because I’m so damn proud of her for telling me everything. I just want to kiss her. Even if she’s talking about the crimes she was coerced into committing, she’s fucking precious to me.
Before I act on my impulse, she stiffens and faces me head-on. “She thought that we could use information from you to barter with Silas.”
“Barter for what?”
“My freedom. I’d give him what I found out about your investigation in exchange for the evidence he had on me. He might let me walk free. That was the plan.”
Despite the credibility of her words and the logical approach to her predicament, it sucks to hear her admission. More than all the other shit she’s revealed, this one cuts the deepest.
It’s as if I wanted her to say that she agreed simply because she wanted me and hated the distance between us. That she needed me in her life, even knowing I was convinced she was guilty.
That she loved me enough to risk it all.
Dammit. I needed her to choose me.
What the hell is wrong with me? My reaction is infinitely baffling.
After all, I already strongly suspected she was working me over in the same way I was doing to her. Given the full picture, I can’t fault her for doing it.
Yet I bleed from it all the same.
Unable to face her, I lean back and let my eyelids close.
The silence pounds violently in my ears. Tension pours over me in a breaking wave that tries to drag me under. Finding air becomes a challenge as I kick for the surface.
A battle wages under my ribs. My instinct to shut down and wall off my emotions roars against my love for Lila.
In my mind’s eye, that vapor appears in front of me. The same one I use on the job. Only this time, I didn’t consciously initiate its appearance. The mist is doing it on its own accord, aiming to spare me the realization that Lila didn’t choose me.
And if I hadn’t parked myself in her path, we’d still be miles apart.
That cloud grows insistent, drifting closer to me with each passing second. I fight the pull of my self-preserving instincts, attempting to displace it with logic. The facts are crystal clear.
I already knew she was using me.
I was using her too.
She didn’t think she had a choice in the matter.
She was fighting for her freedom. For her life.
She loves me now, and everything is out in the open.
And to her credit, she isn’t throwing my manipulation in my face like she could. And should.
Given all that, why am I breaking down this way?
If I didn’t know better, I’d think my psyche was trying to protect me from a deeper wound. Some other agony with the power to rip me in two.
It’s there, just in the distance. I could reach for it, but I’m . . . scared.
Reaching into the depths, I channel my stubborn spirit to keep that cleansing mist at bay. Just barely.
My eyes spring open as Lila’s sudden movements yank me out of my anguished thoughts.
“Reed, look at me,” she urges gently, her tone overflowing with compassion.
The sound of raucous breathing fills the room. It’s mine.
I struggle to drag my vision from the safety of the ceiling.
Lila must grow impatient with my nonresponse. I finally face her when she rises from the couch and plants herself directly in front of me.
She motions toward my lap. “Permission to come aboard, captain?”
The unexpected and absurdly asked question smacks the existential crisis off my face, leaving room for a half grin.
I fucking love this woman.
Noticing my favorable reaction, she climbs onto my lap and straddles me with an easy confidence that’s sexy as hell. Her arms snake around my neck, settling at my nape.
My hands do whatever the fuck they want, landing on Lila’s supple thighs and curving to the lush cushion of her hips. I squeeze and caress her over her clothes. Wonder how pissed she’d be if I ripped them off?
Probably livid since it’s all she has at my place.
“Talk to me,” she urges. “I need to know where your head is.”
I grapple for the words before stammering out something response-adjacent. “I-well-we. I mean, I think we can get you a deal. If you agree to—”
After an abrupt head shake, she silences me with a brief kiss. No tongue. Just a lingering peck. “Not that. What you’ll do with me from a legal standpoint can wait.”
Bewilderment stutters out of me in a rush. “What-huh-I. You just.” I blink free of the chaos and untie my tongue. “What do you mean? Isn’t that what you were asking?”
“No.” Her stern expression slips into sadness that I long to kiss away.
“I was talking about the impetus of our dates and why I went along with the charade. That’s what I wanted your thoughts on.
I never took you for a hypocrite, and I wasn’t the only one with ulterior motives.
So something else must be happening in here. ” She taps my forehead.
With a sugary smile, she adds, “It looked like you were either going to pass out or flee the building. And I refuse to let you slip away without putting up a fight this time.”
“Oh. I see.” I pulse my hands around her hips, giving her an encouraging tug forward. “I’m not going anywhere, Lila. Don’t worry about that.”
A spark of hope shines in her eyes. “Really?”
“Of course. I meant every word I’ve said. You and me. That’s it. End of story. Nothing you’ve said changes that. And it never will.”
That spark widens, igniting into one of those blinding smiles that burns into my soul. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I echo, allowing her radiance to pull me the rest of the way from the darkness that threatens to consume me.
She shimmies on my lap to get more comfortable, the warmth of her core dragging over my crotch in the process. In this position, that tiny graze is all it takes to send blood racing into my cock.
Rather than getting carried away yet, I attempt to bring the conversation to a swift end.
“So we’re fine. Now, about the other shit.
I should be able to get you an immunity deal.
I seriously doubt that the assistant US attorney would press charges against you.
Your crimes were nonviolent. You didn’t act out of malice.
Plus, you don’t have a record and had no idea what was really happening.
Even a halfway decent attorney could get you acquitted with a coercion defense. ”
Her jaw drops, and a wistful inhale makes her breasts rise enticingly. “You’re serious?”
“As a heart attack.” I lick my lips, then bite one to stop myself from kissing her. “In return, we need something from you.”
“What?”
“We need your help to find Silas. If you cooperate, it’ll all but guarantee you won’t be indicted with the rest of them.”
She tips her chin upward, confidence and determination wafting off her. “What do you need me to do?”
“I’d like you to come to the office with me this morning so we can get it in writing.
We’ll then work out the details of your role with the rest of my team.
Most likely, we’d want you to set up a meeting with Silas.
You’d wear a wire and get him talking. As soon as he says something incriminating, we’d move in to arrest him.
Aside from that, you might need to testify in court, should it come to that. ”
“He’s dangerous, though. You said so.”
I still detest the idea of putting her in harm’s way. Unfortunately, we’ve come to the point that the only way I can save her is to take this chance.
Even before hearing her confessions, my entire team knew she had potential as an informant. I knew it too.
Now?
The road we need to take is dead ahead. The fastest way to take down this operation is with her help.
There’s nothing I won’t do to protect her. If it comes to it, I’d cross every line a thousand times over, even if it means losing my job or worse.
Unfortunately, she’ll never be safe as long as Silas is out there. The only way I can protect her in the long term is to take down the entire fucking operation. And that starts and ends with Lila.
Not even Kenzie can get us what we need. Even if we made her an informant, it wouldn’t work. She doesn’t have a valid reason to initiate a conversation with Silas. Lila does.
The facts are indisputable. And I hate it.
Best I can do now is attempt to calm her fears. “You’ve seen him since this shit started, and he didn’t hurt you, right?”
She nods, her teeth worrying her lips.
“So it will be just like those other times. Except you’ll be under our protection. Trust me. We’re good at what we do.”
Her hands roam over my shoulders, kneading my tense muscles. “It’s me I don’t trust. I’ll say something stupid and tip him off. He’ll know I’m wearing a wire. And what then? You can’t be there to save me because he’ll never talk to me unless I’m alone.”
“You won’t be alone. He won’t see us, but we’ll be there. I’ll be with you, watching and listening in real time.”
She does more of that distracting lip biting.
I pulse my hands around her waist and hold her stare. “If I didn’t think I could keep you safe, I’d never allow this. I won’t hesitate to take him out if he even thinks of harming you.”
She doesn’t deliberate any longer, giving me another glimpse at her strength. “Okay. I’ll do it. I trust you.” Her throat bobs with a forced swallow. “With my life.”