Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
Stiff dickish tendencies
REED
I pulse my hand around Lila’s, gazing at her with a mix of affection and pride. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”
“I’m fine.” She blinks three times and purges a quaking breath. “If you need to leave me alone in there, just send in Agent Dad. Err . . . Agent Andrews.”
My eye twitches. “Please tell me you don’t have daddy issues involving my partner.”
She shrugs, our joined hands lifting with the movement. “I wish I could, but you said it’s a felony to lie to a federal officer.”
We share a brief laugh before I release her hand to open the building door. While I follow entry procedures for bringing a CI inside, I keep one eye on her. Her focus seems locked on the FBI seal and the bold words printed below it.
Fidelity - Bravery - Integrity.
I know what comes to my mind when I look at the seal, but I have no clue what’s running through her head. If she’s panicking, she’s doing a damn fine job of concealing it. Aside from changing her clothes four times when we stopped by her apartment, she’s shown minimal signs of nervousness.
Fortunately, Kenzie wasn’t home, which saved us the additional stress. We’ve got enough on our plates today without that nightmare. I keep pressing it to the bottom of my action list.
Lila seems equally grateful to ignore the Kenzie drama a little longer. We were one step out of her apartment when she suggested she slink back in and pack an overnight bag. Just in case.
She pretended her motivations were rooted in concern for her safety. And maybe they were. They were also classic avoidance, this time without the nonsense phrases.
We can’t avoid Kenzie forever, and given the ordeal she’s been through, I need to talk to her. Not only as a big brother, but as an agent. Although I don’t foresee needing her as a CI, we will need her account of what happened when she was taken.
Kenzie can wait a bit longer. We can only handle one thing at a time.
Getting Lila settled is my priority. And that starts now.
After we move through the building, heading toward my office, she rolls her lip into an unimpressed pout. “This is where you work, huh? Not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Something more impressive. This is just a bunch of offices.”
“You’re only seeing what we want you to see,” I tease. “All the cool shit is in the back.”
“Such as?”
“Well, in this branch alone, we’ve got the Nikola Tesla death ray on the third floor, and a bunker with alien remains.” I snap like I’m recalling something. “And Jimmy Hoffa works in the cafeteria. I’ll introduce you before we leave.”
Playing along, she gives me a doe-eyed look. “And if we could see the room where they faked the moon landing, that would be awesome. It’s on my bucket list.”
“Obviously, we’ll do that.”
“Before I sign any deal, I want to see the file on the JFK assassination. And I’m not leaving without meeting Mulder and Scully.”
“Cookie, that’s already been detailed in the paperwork. I’m not an amateur here.”
Fighting a snicker, she says, “And I thought I loved you before.”
Before opening the door leading to the Violent Crimes unit, I check over both shoulders and duck her into an alcove mostly out of sight of the cameras. The hall is empty, so I pull her close for a quick kiss.
I need another moment to simply be her man before reality temporarily steals that from me.
What starts as a peck intensifies when I get a whiff of her sweet scent. My tongue delves past her lips, giving me a brief taste. I withdraw before I get carried away. Sometimes it sucks being a professional.
“What was that for?” she asks, eyes dazzling and lips glistening.
“When we walk inside, I need to treat you like a typical CI.”
Her eyes narrow to slits. “CI?”
“Confidential informant.”
“Oh, duh. I thought it stood for criminal something.”
I shake my head. “You’re not a criminal.”
“Let’s hope your boss agrees.”
I release her to straighten my tie. “If I get stiff in there, just don’t take it personally.”
Her cheek twitches as she fights off something playful.
“Say it,” I prod.
“Do you get stiff at work often?”
I wink at her. “Only when I think of you in my handcuffs.”
“What a terrible time to make a joke like that.” She flicks her gaze upward like she’s deep in thought. “Then again, I sort of like that idea. Just not for FBI-related purposes.”
Oh, hell yes.
My lips find their way to hers for one more quick kiss before I tug her toward the door. “We’ll discuss that later. We need to get in there.”
“In the words of the aliens your organization claims don’t exist, take me to your leader.”
Leave it to Lila to make me smile when we’re in the midst of something so serious.
Instead of holding her hand, I guide her with my palm on her lower back. Feels more office-appropriate.
Andrews is the first nosy ass to notice our entry, craning his neck to look through his open office door. He stands, ambling over with a smirk on his face. “Nice to see you again, Lila.”
She beams at him, making me double back to the earlier joke about her daddy issues. “Hi, Agent Andrews. How are you?” Despite the smile she wears, there’s a nervous hitch in her tone.
“Good, good.” He nods, his knowing grin spreading. “I assume that your presence here means you’re going to help us.”
She twists her fingers nervously in front of her waist. “Yeah. I would’ve come sooner. It’s just that—”
Trying to keep my tone pleasant, I interject. “Where are we meeting?”
Andrews tsks at me in disapproval, then points his chin to the left. “Small conference room. I’ll get the SSA to join us.”
“And the others?” I ask, referencing the rest of the team.
He swipes his eyeline to Lila briefly before answering me. “I thought it would be best if she didn’t have to face the full firing squad. It’ll just be you, Chase, and me with her for the initial questioning.”
As I urge my girl away, she tosses a half-arm wave at him. “Bye for now, I guess.”
“Come on,” I mutter, some of my frustration seeping out.
“Do you not like him or something?” she whispers. “He seems nice.”
“Oh, he is. But he’ll talk our ears off if we let him.”
And he’ll be all up in my love life at the first sniff of my new dynamic with Lila.
A flutter under my ribs makes me catch my breath.
I have a love life now.
Because I finally have the love of my life.
A memory of how kind Warren was to me last night pricks at my conscience. Shit. Old habits are hard to break. Now I feel guilty for being a dick to him.
And that’s a thought I’ve never had before.
I don’t let my reaction show, steeling my focus on what’s to come.
Lila side eyes me. “I see what you meant about your stiffness. Sheesh. I wouldn’t call you a dick, but you’re certainly acting penis-shaped.”
“Just getting my head in the game,” I hedge, struggling not to laugh at her valid and amusing quip.
After I show her to the conference room, I pull out a chair for her. “Wait here. I’ll get you something to drink. What would you like?”
As she takes in her surroundings, her posture shifts so she’s drawing in on herself. “Is there a menu? Happy hour? Will there be apps? I’ll take a rim razzle ding dong.”
Ah, yes. The patented Lila distraction technique.
I bring my mouth to her ear, keeping my volume low. “Calm down, cookie. It’s gonna be fine. You’ve got this.”
“Reed, I’ve always tried to be a good person. Yet I’m about to confess to marking cards, concealing a kidnapping, and helping criminals steal ungodly amounts of money. To the friggin FBI.”
She expels a trembling breath, laces her hands together, and places them on the table. If you looked up projecting false confidence in the dictionary, this is the image.
Proving my point, she quietly tacks on, “I most certainly don’t got this. I’ve got nothing.”
Before I think better of it, I kiss her forehead. “You’ve got me.” I linger there for a beat, waiting for some of her tension to wane before I step out.
As I ease away from her, she encircles my wrist to keep me from leaving.
Our eyes lock. She isn’t crying, but all traces of her earlier bravado have faded.
No nervous humor to conceal her fears. She wears no plastic sunshine veneer.
There are no walls for me to climb to get to her. No nonsense phrases to distract me.
All I can see is her. Unfiltered. Beautiful, sincere, and strong.
How did I ever doubt this woman? Not only with this casino shit, but five years ago too.
“Reed,” she starts, my name just a breath on her lips.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for helping me. For protecting me. And for believing me.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that.” I squeeze her hand before releasing it. “I know who you are, Lila. I just forgot for a little while.”
Her smile starts at the corner of her mouth, gradually overtaking her face until it makes her eyes sparkle with an understated resonance. “Little bit of that going around.”
Unspoken words have been languishing in the back of my mind since last night when I saw that picture of Kenzie. Unbidden, they force their way out. “Thank you for saving my sister.”
With her eyelashes batting away her brewing tears, she throws my earlier words back at me. “You don’t need to thank me for that.”
Enough with the heavy shit. I go for a joke to lighten the mood. “Maybe I don’t. But Kenzie sure as fuck does.”
An hour later, SSA Chase motions for me to follow her out of the conference room. Lila remains seated with a box of tissues on her lap. Andrews hangs back to keep her company.
Lila only teared up twice during the entire questioning. The first time was when she talked about Silas showing her the picture of Kenzie. And the second was when she recounted the night she got her back. Battered, but alive. And just when Lila thought the game was over, it was only halftime.