Chapter 52 Nice Try, Universe
FIFTY-TWO
Nice try, Universe
LILA
Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situation to see if you’re dumb enough to repeat your mistakes. Luckily for me, I see what’s happening and won’t fall into this trap.
If one good thing comes from Kenzie’s betrayal, it’s the realization that I deserve better.
As soon as Kri opens the door, Kenzie’s eyes seek me out. She barges in like she owns the place and flings her petite frame around me. Her arms encircle my waist, cinching in a tight band.
To my own surprise, I don’t return her embrace. Not even when her tears soak my shirt.
I peel her off me and take a step backward, holding my head high.
Kenzie keeps her arms extended toward me as I slip out of her grasp. The red outline around her eyes and the puffiness of her nose almost break me.
Almost.
“As you can see, I’m alive and well. And perfectly safe.” I tip my head in Kri’s direction for emphasis. “You don’t need to worry about me. Worry about yourself instead.” I cut myself off before I add a dig about how easily that must come to her.
I don’t need to hurt her just because she hurt me. We’re not keeping score here.
Sensing my blatant rejection, she lowers her arms and straightens her spine.
“I’m glad you’re safe. I really am. But you can’t just cut me off this way.
Plus, I’m in danger too. Or did you forget?
” Her throat undulates with her nervous swallow, and her gaze swipes to my bodyguard. “Can we have some privacy?”
While I’m not surprised she’s already painting herself as a victim, she does have a fair point. After all, her safety is a concern because of my relationship with Silas.
Catching Kri’s notice, I nod to silently ask her to fade into the background. She departs the living room wordlessly, heading toward Reed’s office. I suspect she’ll stay within earshot and would love to toss Kenzie out the door if need be. And I’m fine with that.
I ease deeper into the living room, waiting for Kenzie to follow. “Let’s sit.”
An awkward tension joins us on the sofa.
Kenzie’s red-stained eyes burn into me. I hate how I’m questioning the authenticity of her tears.
But here we are.
She speaks first, trepidation lining her voice. “Go ahead and let me have it. Tell me why you’re mad. Get it out of your system.”
My teeth snap, making an audible clicking sound. “Do you really need me to tell you why I’m mad?” Not waiting for her response, I continue, “For the record, mad is a gross understatement. And after what you did, it’s insulting for you to imply all I need to do is vent.”
Get it out of my system? Really? As if that’s ever possible.
“Lila, come on. Are you honestly going to throw away our lifelong friendship for this?”
My eye twitches spastically as my blood pressure spikes. “Do you have any intention of accepting responsibility? If you plan to keep pinning this on me, there’s the door.”
“Well, you haven’t even told me what I did. How can I accept anything unless you accuse me of something?”
Surely she jests. Nobody can be this obtuse. Even my top-tier deflecting techniques can’t hold a candle to hers.
How have I been so blind to her narcissism for so long?
I clasp my hands in my lap, noticing them tremble. “Fine. I’ll be perfectly clear with you.”
“Thank you.” Her expression softens, and she has the audacity to reach for my hand. “That’s all I’m asking.”
Jerking my hand back, I scoot farther away from her. “Reed and I figured it out, Kenzie. We know what you did.”
Her head tilts abruptly to the side, like this is shocking or confusing information. Unbelievable.
“Five years ago,” I continue, the rage building inside me like she’s stoking the fire with whatever act she’s trying to pull. “You lied to both of us to break us up. Intentionally. Why did you do that?”
She puts her head down, whispering. “Oh, that.”
I jump to my feet, that fire turning into an inferno. “Yes. That. What the hell did you think I was upset about?”
Kenzie slumps against the couch and closes her eyes. She can’t even look at me.
“I knew what you meant. I was just hoping it was something else. Wishful thinking, I guess.”
“You can’t wish this away, Kenzie. Your betrayal was reprehensible.”
Her eyes open, but she locks her vision on the ceiling. “I’ve regretted it for years. I wasn’t in my right frame of mind.”
“Frame of mind?” My hands ball into fists. “How does that excuse it?”
She finally looks at me, a hint of hostility coloring her features.
“My father had just died, Lila. Meanwhile, Reed was hellbent on blaming Mom for it. And then, my supposed best friend sneaks off with him on the night of his funeral instead of staying with me. Did you even consider how that made me feel?”
Cold tendrils of guilt slither through me.
She has a point. I knew the tension between Reed and Kenzie was at the tipping point. Did I consider her feelings? Or did my selfishness blind me to how it would affect her?
Wait. No.
“Don’t do that.” My volume is low and controlled. “Don’t you dare turn this around on me. I remember you sending me away that night.” I chuff out a coarse breath. “Dismissed me is more accurate.”
“That isn’t how it happened,” she contends, challenging my recollection of events.
“I see you brought your matches with you so you could gaslight me.”
Kenzie gasps, jaw dropping in a show of offense. “Gaslight you? I’d never do that. I’m serious, Lila. I didn’t send you away. I needed you with me.”
Later, I’ll applaud my restraint for not snatching the hair out of her scalp.
”For the sake of argument, let’s go with your version of events.
I’ll play along. Even if I did blow you off at your greatest time of need, you should’ve confronted me about the timing and told me you were hurt.
We’d have had an honest discussion about it.
Sabotaging us was not an acceptable way to handle the situation.
After all that time, we’d finally admitted our feelings to each other. Then you ruined it all, so callously.”
She stands, throwing her hands to the sides. “That’s the thing. I didn’t know you thought you were in love with him until after I’d already shown you the picture. By that time, I couldn’t take it back. I’m not a mind reader.”
The way she said in love makes me want to punch her. As if she doesn’t believe me or thinks I’m a fool for loving him.
Or he could never love someone like me.
Some of my indignation fades as those thoughts sink in, pricking at the barely-there confidence.
Like a predator, she pounces on my hesitation. “Besides, I thought I was doing you a favor. My heart was in the right place.”
If my eyes bulge any farther, they’ll pop out of their sockets. “What?”
“I thought he was using you to hurt me. Especially given the timing. In a way, I was protecting you. Who knows how long he would’ve strung you along if I hadn’t intervened. And for all you know, he’s doing it again now.”
I smack my hand against my chest. “He loves me. He always has.”
The pity she shoots at me cuts almost as much as her betrayal. “Oh, Lila. Come on. You don’t believe that, do you? He’s only using you for his case. And maybe you forgot this, but you were supposed to be using him too. That isn’t love.”
Despite the flare of doubt her words incite, I manage to stand firm in what Reed and I have.
Mostly.
Before this conversation continues, there’s one thing I need to know. “Speaking of that, there’s something I can’t reconcile about this mess. Why did you push so hard to get me to spend time with him? Surely you must have realized we’d end up talking about the breakup.”
She bunches her mouth to one corner, her expression backing away from self-righteousness.
“I felt bad about what I did back then. You were depressed for so long after it happened. Nothing seemed to snap you out of that funk. And although I still believe Reed’s full of bullshit, I couldn’t stand to see you continuously suffering.
So in my twisted brain, I figured if you spent time with him in a romantic capacity of sorts, you’d either see how shitty he is or . . .”
I itch to defend him, but I let her finish first. “Or what?”
“Or you’d get a second chance at love. If it was real, I thought things would work themselves out.” Her chin quivers, and tears shimmer in her eyes. “After what Silas did to you, I was trying to fix things. I wanted to make you happy again.”
Moisture pools in my eyes, and my sinuses sting. She’s putting up a good fight, I’ll give her that.
And I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t working.
As she reaches out for me again, I let her take my hand.
“Lila, I know you’ve gotten a raw deal in life. Since we’ve known each other, you’ve had spells where you seemed broken, but you always came through them. Well, you weren’t coming out of this one. I needed my friend back. You haven’t been the Lila I love since I helped break your heart.”
She’s right. I’ve been broken for a long time.
Whoa, horsey. Hold on.
My head rears back as the last thing she said smacks me sober.
Well played, Universe. You almost had me. But I’m not journeying back down that road.
Dropping her hands, I quickly wipe my tears away. I’m done crying for her and the friendship I thought we had.
In a steely calm, I seethe at my former best friend.
“Kenzie, you didn’t help break my heart.
You broke it entirely, all on your own. If I was a shell of myself for years, it was because of what you did.
Regardless of your flimsy reasons, you viciously betrayed me and your brother.
You actively destroyed something beautiful.
Nothing you say will ever justify that. Not with me.
Fool yourself all you want. I’m done being manipulated by you. ”
“But—”