Chapter 16 #2
"Definitely." I force brightness into my voice, hating myself with every syllable. "Wildflower Meadow under the stars? How could I say no?"
"Oh, baby… You're going to love it." He sits up, suddenly very animated now. "The whole meadow gets strung with these lights, and there's a wooden dance floor they set up every year. Charlie brings his guitar and sings. He's actually pretty good, not that you'd know by looking at him."
I laugh, the sound hollow in my own ears. Chase suddenly finds another gear and keeps talking like we didn't just hike up a giant fucking mountain.
"And Knox does this thing where he challenges everyone to line dancing—which sounds terrible but it's actually hilarious.
And fun. I'm actually kind of good at that, too.
Jamie pretends he's too cool for it but he's secretly the best dancer.
" Chase grabs my hand, squeezing. "Oh! And last year, Betty won the apple pie eating contest. Seventy-three years old and she destroyed everyone. It was legendary."
His enthusiasm is contagious, his eyes bright with excitement.
"We could practice dancing before then," he suggests, already trying to pull me to my feet. "Right now. I'll teach you."
"There's no music."
"Fine." He leans forward so his forearms rest of his knees, grinning down the valley. "But we can practice when we get back to my apartment. Naked if you want."
He reaches for the gummy bears, offering me another as he winks suggestively. His entire mood has shifted, and our fingers brush as I take a green one.
"You always have these," I say, holding the gummy bear up, desperate to change the subject away from the dance. "But you never really talk about Lily. Does she ever visit you here?"
His hand pauses halfway to his mouth, the yellow gummy bear frozen between his fingers.
And just like that… all that playful enthusiasm I adore so much about this man, evaporates instantly.
"Sorry, that was—"
Chase shakes his head, mumbling around a gummy bear. "No. It's fine. Really."
"You sure? I mean… she obviously still communicates with you, so I thought…" I gesture to the packet. "She sends you endless supplies of these amazing German gummies. But you never mention calling her. Or visiting. Or…"
I trail off, suddenly worried I've overstepped.
Chase is quiet for a long moment, staring out at the mountains. Then he sets the gummy bear down carefully, like it's made of glass.
"Lily and I… we're complicated."
"Really, you don't have to—"
"No, it's okay." He draws a breath, reaching for my hand and squeezing it. "I want to tell you. I'll tell you anything, Piper. Truly."
I nod, unable to form words.
"Lily was sixteen when Mom moved to Germany. Like I told you, I was eighteen, fresh out of high school, and I stayed behind because I convinced myself I was being mature."
The pain in his voice makes my chest ache.
"But the truth is, Lily begged me to come." His voice goes rough. "She called me crying the night after they left, saying she didn't want to go without me. That she was scared. And I told her it would be fine. That she'd love Germany and her new life. I told her that…"
He picks up the gummy bear again, rolling it between his fingers.
"That what, Chase?"
He swallows hard and shakes his head. "That I'd visit her."
Chase's voice cracks, and a single tear slides down his cheek.
My stomach drops like I've been punched.
Oh God. What have I done?
I just lied to him. Promised I'd be at that dance when I know damn well I'll be in Chicago, wearing a stupid dress while standing beside Maxwell Pemberton while Mother parades me around like a trophy.
I'm going to abandon him.
Just like everyone else.
"Chase…"
"I never did though, Piper. Couldn't afford it.
And then I enlisted, washed out, spent two years drifting.
By the time I landed here and got my shit together, Lily had…
moved on. She has this whole life now. German boyfriend, university friends, a career in marketing.
She sends the gummy bears because she feels guilty.
Because she knows she left me behind just like Mom did. "
"She was sixteen," I say softly. "She didn't have a choice."
"I know." He finally eats the gummy bear. "But it doesn't change the fact that I failed her. I was supposed to be her big brother, and I let her go."
The rawness in his confession splits something open inside me.
This man—this beautiful, kind, generous man—carries so much guilt for things that were never his fault. His mother's choices. His sister's circumstances. The Army discharge that had nothing to do with his worth as a person.
And here I am, lying to his face about next weekend.
Tell him. Tell him right now.
But the words won't come.
Because if I tell him, I'll see that look again. The one that says everyone I love eventually chooses something else.
And I can't do that to him.
I shift closer, resting my head on his shoulder. "You didn't fail her, Chase. You were a kid trying to survive."
His arm comes around me. "Sometimes I wonder if I should've gone. If things would be different."
"You can't live in the what-ifs." I press a kiss to his neck. "You're here now. You're building something real. That matters."
He's quiet for a moment, then he mumbles, "You matter."
I matter.
Me.
The real, messy, imperfect version that hikes in teal boots and loses at chili cook-offs. Not my last name. Not my trust fund. Not my ability to smile politely at charity galas and make small talk with hedge fund managers.
Tears prick my eyes, and I blink them back furiously.
"Hey." Chase tilts my chin up, concern creasing his forehead. "You okay?"
"Yeah." My voice comes out thick. "Just… thank you. For saying that."
He searches my face, and I wonder what he sees. The perfect Whitman daughter facade? Or the woman underneath who's falling so hard for him it terrifies her?
"Come here." He pulls me into his lap, and I go willingly, wrapping my arms around his neck.
We sit like that for a long time, wrapped up in each other while the wind whispers through the pine branches and the sun tracks slowly across the sky.
"Piper?" His voice rumbles against my ear.
"Mm?"
"Stay with me tonight. Under the stars. Right here."
I pull back to look at him. "Here? At the lookout? Won't we get cold?"
"There's a rescue hut about ten minutes from here." Chase brushes a strand of hair from my face. "Always stocked with blankets, firewood, emergency supplies. Part of the mountain safety network. I'll take care of you, baby. Always."
"I know you will. You always do."
That's what makes this so much worse.
"Yeah." His eyes are soft, vulnerable. "Because, and I know this is probably breaking every single one of our napkin rules, but I want to watch every sunset with you. Make love to you under the stars whenever I want. Wake up with you in my arms and watch the sunrise. Forever."
My heart cracks wide open.
This man.
"Yes," I whisper. "Yes, I'll stay."
He kisses me, slow and deep and achingly tender. Not the desperate passion from last night, but something quieter.
Something that feels dangerously close to forever.