21. Chapter Aria
H ow do you walk into your place of employment and act like everything’s normal?
After spending all day with Damian yesterday cooking, laughing, and just having the best fucking time, I’m left in the middle of a stir of emotions that I don’t understand. I got to see another side of him for once—a normal, sweet, and really fun guy. His emerald eyes which are typically beautiful, but dull, were so full of light and life, and I just wish I get to see that life in him every day from now on.
His confession took me by surprise, and it has been replaying in my head in an endless loop.
Those hazel eyes of yours, like pools of liquid amber. I could get lost in them forever.
I could get lost in them .
Forever. Forever. Forever.
I haven’t even told the girls what happened yesterday, and I don’t think I want to. Selfishly, I want this moment for myself and to keep it safe in a bubble.
Finally giving up, I walk into the gallery, do my best acting, and pretend my Sunday was just a normal, reset day. Nothing groundbreaking happened.
Except something did happen, and you haven’t stopped thinking about it.
Walking up the stairs, Isabella welcomes me and darts her arms and hands, wanting me to give her the usual cup of coffee I bring her every day. I place the cup in her hands, and she quickly chugs half of it in one sitting.
“Tired?”
She nods. “I stayed up late reading. My eyes still hurt, and I was in serious need of another cup of coffee.” She stares at the drink carrier with two cups. “I see you’re tired too.”
“Oh no, the other one is not for me. It’s for…” I blush lightly.
“For…?” Isabella prompts.
“Damian.”
She brings her hand to my forehead. “Do you have a fever? Who are you and what did you do with my friend?”
I push her hand away and roll my eyes. “You’re ridiculous. ”
Isabella squints her eyes in suspicion. “Since when are you guys friends?”
“I’m just trying to move on from, you know…” Technically, not a lie. I am trying to move past something . We’re definitely not in boss and employee territory now. It’s more. Maybe friends.
Pft . Yeah, right. Friends .
“Say less.” She looks at the computer. “He doesn’t have any meetings right now, so you can go in.”
I nod as I walk to his office door and knock, opening the door. He’s engrossed in some paperwork, not noticing my presence. Every step I take and the closer I get, the quicker my heart beats. He has his usual suit, dark gray this time, with a black turtleneck sweater since it’s getting chillier in Chicago, but what fucking gets me is his hair. He doesn’t have it with his usual put together style. Instead, he’s letting those lazy curls hang, just like he did yesterday.
He looks up and lets out one of his lazy smiles that makes my knees tremble every time, leaning back in his chair. “Morning, Darling.”
I take one of the drinks out of the drink carrier and place it in front of him.
“Good morning,” I manage to get out, hoping he doesn’t notice my shaky voice.
He looks at the coffee cup, then looks up at me. “What’s this for? ”
“Just a thank you coffee for yesterday. Can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually had a nice time.”
He nods his head in agreement. “Glad to be of service.”
I hum in agreement, slowly walking backward to leave his office. Weird thing is, I don’t want to leave. Somehow, I crave his company. I want to do it again. Stay in that bubble.
The idea is totally crazy. It’d be inappropriate to have that type of relationship and be hanging out outside of work so often. But we’ve crossed that line so long ago; it’s nonexistent at this point.
He picks up his coffee and takes a sip, then licks his lips. The movement is so annoyingly sexy, I’m pretty sure I’m staring like a fucking idiot. “Anything else?”
“We’re still missing one statement piece. Have any leads?” I say quickly, trying to act nonchalant.
“We’re going to the New York Auction next weekend, remember?”
“Right!” I snap my fingers. Even though I am well aware I have to go on another trip with him. “Well, okay then, I’m gonna go get some work done,” I continue, waving awkwardly.
“Alright.”
“Alright,” I repeat.
He flashes his killer bright smile and tilts his head. “Anything on your mind, Darling? ”
What is it with this nickname that makes me blush every time? Ugh.
“Just making some mental lists for today, that’s all. Anyway, if you need anything let me know,” I say as I quickly walk out and shut the door before I embarrass myself any further.
Isabella looks up, glaring at me. “And what is wrong with you?”
Isabella gets easily suspicious at everything, and grumpy on top of it sometimes, so the last thing I want to do is get on her bad side that will end with one of her pep talks. I love that girl, but I don’t particularly want to hear all the reasons why this is a bad idea.
“Nothing. I’m going to work,” I murmur as I walk quickly to my office and lock the door.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I couldn’t even think of my usual quick remarks that I like to throw every time we talk. It’s like something between us shifted yesterday, and I can’t pinpoint what it is.
You know damn well what it is.
Letting out a frustrated groan, I hit my head against the door. The feeling of uncertainty sucks. I’m walking with extremely blinded eyes, but the excitement to get to the finish line clouds my judgment, even though I have no idea what to expect once I get there. That damn kiss changed everything between us, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep on pretending nothing happened. He’s doing a fucking great job at it.
Spending time with him yesterday was also a terrible idea. That side of Damian, so human and kind, is making me feel all kinds of things right now.
My phone rings, taking me out of my thoughts. Without looking at the caller ID, I pick it up.
“Hello?” the voice I can recognize from anywhere says.
“Mom?”
I haven’t heard from her in over four years. Why is she calling? Something must have happened.
Soon after I graduated high school and went to college, my parents got divorced—which I expected, and if anything, I’m upset it didn’t happen sooner—and we just kind of all drifted apart. I moved to Chicago, and I haven’t looked back ever since. My parents were so unhappy with each other they made me miserable in the process. Their marriage never worked, and somehow, I always was at the receiving end of their marital problems. As I kept growing up, it got more exhausting, damaging our relationship more. Especially me and my mother’s.
“How are you, Aria?”
“Good,” I say curtly. “How are you?”
“Same old, same old. I’m calling because I’m visiting Chicago soon, and I want to see you.”
I hesitate. “You know, Mom, my schedule is really busy. I don’t know if I’ll have time. ”
“Busy doing what? For the love of God, you aren’t a doctor or a lawyer. You just work at a museum. I’ll be arriving next weekend. We can have dinner.”
I inhale and exhale, trying to even my breathing. This is something I picked up when I went to therapy during my college years. Being on the varsity cheerleading team, having to keep up good grades so I wouldn’t lose my scholarship, and taking extra credits to graduate early really did a number on me, to the point that therapy was a requirement. This is just one of the tricks I picked up along the way. It doesn’t always work, but it never hurts to try. That comment right there is one of the many reasons why I cut ties. I can’t play pretend with her, not anymore. I got really good at masking my emotions while under her roof, because otherwise, she would have made it impossible for me.
I grit my teeth. “Well, I’m actually out of town next weekend. So I’ll catch you next time.”
“Well, that’s fine. I’m staying for a couple of days. We can have dinner or something once you’re back.”
I let out a resigned sigh. “Fine. Just send me the details. I gotta go.” I hang up, not wanting to listen to her voice anymore.
Closing my eyes, I try to calm down the beat of my heart that’s lodged in my throat. The walls start to close in, so I open the door quickly trying to situate myself. I run toward the stairs and take them two at a time, running to the gallery doors and pushing them open. The windy city breeze welcomes me, my cheeks feeling the sharp chilly day. It’s something that brings me relief, because my body is overheating right now. I take my coat off, welcoming more of that wind, hoping to feel lighter.
The feeling doesn’t come.
The signs of a panic attack start settling in, my hands quickly getting clammy, my body shivering even though I’m sweating profusely. The sound of the busy city street starts to fade as the sound of my own hard and fast beating heart takes over. My vision is blurry with tears, as I start hyperventilating. My cheeks suddenly warm at the touch of two hands that caress them, brushing away the nonstop tears.
Someone’s talking to me, I think. It’s hard to hear over my fast beating heart. I close my eyes, trying to center myself.
It’s a male’s voice. That familiar deep, demanding voice.
“Aria, breathe for me, Tesoro . Come on, I know you can hear me.”
Tesoro.
That brings me back. Little by little, my vision clears, and I’m met with those deep emerald green eyes I’ve grown to obsess over. I focus on them as my breathing calms down, the sound of the busy city coming back.
“That’s my girl,” he says, gripping my cheeks gently. “I thought I lost you there for a moment. Are you okay? ”
I blush, loving the sound of— my girl —coming out of his mouth. My heart flutters, because for the first time in my life, someone has been able to help me stop my panic attack symptoms before they got too far. With his commanding presence and gentle touch, he saved me from the dark parts of myself. And it’s a relief, because if I had to choose someone to take me out of the shadows; to bring me into the light—I want it to be him. Always him.