Chapter 8 - Patrick
My wife won’t look at me, and I can’t blame her for it.
The word wife keeps rattling around in my skull as I guide Caelan through the fog-shrouded forest, trying to make sense of what just happened.
Less than an hour ago, I was a Thornridge warrior with no ties and no future.
Now I’m a married man, bound by pack law to a woman who would probably kill me herself if she thought she could get away with it.
Everything transformed so fast. One moment, I was on my knees in front of her, begging for a chance, and the next, Evangeline was speaking words in a language older than any of us, and cords were dissolving into our skin, and everything I thought I knew about my life was gone forever.
Caelan walks five steps behind me, close enough that I can hear her breathing but far enough that our shoulders never touch.
She hasn’t said a single word since Evangeline closed that leather book and declared the ceremony complete.
My attempts at conversation have been met with nothing but silence, whether I was explaining where we were going or asking if she needed to rest.
The quiet between us is downright suffocating, and it’s saturated with her fury and my guilt.
Our mate bond thrums beneath it all like a second heartbeat, connecting us in ways I don’t yet fully understand.
Her emotions brush against the edges of my consciousness.
Anger burns hot and bright inside her, while fear coils cold and insidious.
Betrayal cuts through everything else. She’s drowning in feelings she can’t control, and there’s nothing I can do to help her.
My wolf hates this. Pack politics and lies mean nothing to him, and he doesn’t understand why she’s angry. All he knows is that our mate is hurting, and we’re not doing anything to fix it.
I push him down and keep walking.
We’re headed to a safe house about two miles deeper into Hysopp territory, tucked into a ravine where the fog hangs so thick you can barely see ten feet in front of your face.
Years ago, during a scouting mission, I found this place when Thornridge was still mapping the valley’s hidden corners.
Mordaunt wanted to know every inch of Hysopp territory in case we ever needed to move against the witches, so I spent three weeks out here alone, taking note of trails and landmarks and abandoned structures.
This cabin was one of my discoveries. Some instinct told me to keep it secret, so I never reported it to anyone. Now I’m grateful for that instinct in ways I never could have predicted.
We reach the cabin as the last traces of daylight fade from the sky.
The structure looks exactly as I remember it, small and weathered and half-swallowed by the encroaching forest. Moss covers the roof in a thick green carpet, and grime coats the windows until they’re practically opaque.
Vines have crawled up the walls since my last visit, which makes the cabin look like the forest is slowly devouring it.
Rusty hinges screech as I push open the door and step inside.
The interior is a single room, maybe fifteen square feet.
A stone fireplace is sunk into the far wall, and a small bed frame with a bare mattress occupies one corner.
A little table with two chairs is near the window, while a set of shelves dangles crookedly beside the fireplace, holding a few rusted pots and some mouse-chewed rags.
Dust covers everything in a layer so thick it looks like gray snow.
“It’s not much,” I comment, breaking the silence for the first time since we left Evangeline’s clearing, “but it’s safe, and Thornridge doesn’t know about this place.”
Caelan doesn’t say a thing. She just stands in the doorway and takes in the cabin with a flat expression before walking past me without a word. She drops into one of the wooden chairs and folds her arms across her chest before fixing her gaze on the empty fireplace.
The dismissal is clear, and she wants nothing to do with me.
I get to work anyway.
A stack of old firewood sits beside the hearth.
It’s dry enough to burn despite the years of neglect.
I kneel and start layering kindling and logs because I need something to do with my hands.
The motion helps calm my racing thoughts, and it gives me something to concentrate on besides the silent woman sitting behind me.
I strike the flint against steel until sparks catch the kindling. The flames grow slowly at first, then strengthen until the fire can sustain itself.
These are simple tasks with concrete goals, things I can actually accomplish. Convincing my new wife that I’m not the monster she believes me to be feels impossible by comparison.
Once the fire catches, I take stock of our supplies.
I hid the small pack I grabbed from the cache near Evangeline’s territory for emergencies just like this one.
I dump the contents onto the table and sort through them.
There are a few cans of food at the bottom, mostly beans and vegetables.
A water purification kit takes up most of the space, alongside a first aid kit with bandages and antiseptics.
The thin blanket smells like mildew, and the hunting knife has a worn leather handle.
Some waterproof matches and a coil of rope complete the inventory.
We don’t have much, but I can hunt, and we have enough to survive for a few days while we figure out our next move. That’s assuming we have a next move, and that’s assuming Caelan doesn’t find a way to escape and bring the entire allied pack army down on my head before I can explain myself.
I set the supplies in neat piles on the table and finally allow myself to look at my wife.
She’s still sitting in that wooden chair with her arms folded and her jaw set in a hard line. Firelight catches her hair and makes her pale blue eyes look almost luminous. Even furious and disheveled from our run through the forest, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
My wolf whines again and pushes against my control, demanding I go to her.
I tell him to shut up.
“There’s food if you’re hungry,” I offer. “It’s just canned stuff, but it’s better than nothing.”
She doesn’t answer.
“I can heat some water if you want something warm to drink. There’s a pot on the shelf that looks salvageable. It might need a good scrubbing, but I think I could—”
“Stop.”
Caelan’s voice is ice, and it makes me wince.
“Just stop,” she continues. “Stop acting like this is normal, and stop pretending we’re on some kind of camping trip. Stop talking to me like I’m your friend when we both know I’m your prisoner.”
“You’re not my prisoner.”
“Then what am I?” She finally looks at me, and the anger in her eyes makes my stomach churn.
“I’m trapped in the middle of nowhere with a man who lied to me, manipulated me, and forced me into a marriage I didn’t want.
I can’t go home without putting my family in danger, and I can’t contact my sister without leading Thornridge right to her.
I can’t do anything except sit here and wait for you to tell me what happens next.
That sounds exactly like a prisoner to me. ”
I don’t have an answer for that, because she’s right. I’ve taken away her choices, her freedom, and her ability to control her own life. I did it to protect her, but that doesn’t change what I’ve done.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, and I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything. “I know that doesn’t help, and I know sorry doesn’t fix what I’ve done, but I need you to understand that I never wanted it to be like this.”
“Then how did you want it to be?” She stands from the chair, and her hands are trembling at her sides. “Did you think I’d fall into your arms and thank you for saving me? Did you think I’d be grateful that you kidnapped me and married me against my will?”
“I didn’t marry you against your will, because you said yes.”
“I said yes because a witch told me my sister would die if I didn’t. That’s not consent, Patrick. That’s coercion.”
She’s right about that, too, and I knew it even as I was begging her to trust me. I knew that whatever choice she made in that clearing, it wouldn’t be a free one. Evangeline and Maeve made sure of that with their visions and their warnings and their cryptic talk about Caelan being the glue.
I wish they had just kept that part to themselves and let me deal with the fallout if she walked away.
“You’re right,” I admit. “It wasn’t fair, and none of this has been fair to you.
” I take a step toward her, then stop when I see her stiffen.
“But I meant what I said before. I’m not going to hurt you, and I’m not going to use you the way Bastian wanted me to.
All I want is a chance to keep you safe until we can figure out a better solution. ”
“There is no better solution, and there’s no version of this where everything works out and we all live happily ever after.
” She wraps her arms around herself like she’s trying to hold herself together.
“The moment my sister finds out what you are, she’s going to come for you.
Reeyan will come for you, too, along with Oren, Dorian, and every warrior in the allied packs. And I’m going to let them.”
I nod and reply, “I know.”
“You know?” She gawks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “That’s it? You’re just going to accept that I’m planning to get you killed?”
“If that’s what has to happen to keep you safe, then yes. I told you I’d rather die than let Thornridge hurt you, and I meant it.”
Her brows knit together, and she cocks her head to the side.
Based on the look on her face, she’s not used to people meaning what they say, and I understand that better than she knows.
Thornridge wolves lie as easily as we breathe, because lying is how we survive.
Lying is how I survived for sixteen years, telling Mordaunt and Bastian whatever they wanted to hear while keeping my true thoughts locked away where no one could find them.
But I’m done lying to her.
“When you’re ready to listen, I’ll explain why Thornridge isn’t what you think it is.
I’ll tell you about the wolves who follow Mordaunt because they’re afraid, not because they believe in his mission.
I’ll tell you about my brother Jonas and the others like him who are trapped in a pack they never chose, doing things they hate because the alternative is death.
” I let my words settle between us before continuing.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m just asking you to hear me out before you decide I deserve to die. ”
She doesn’t respond, and instead, she turns away and walks toward the bed in the corner of the cabin. She sits down on the bare mattress with her back to me.
“I’m tired, and I want to sleep. Don’t talk to me.”
I watch her curl up on the mattress and pull the thin blanket over her shoulders. She doesn’t look at me again, and she doesn’t say goodnight or acknowledge my presence in any way. She just lies there facing the wall, shutting me out.
My wolf howls inside me, desperate to go to her.
Every instinct I have screams at me to cross the room, to pull her into my arms, to make her understand that I’m not the enemy she thinks I am.
But I know that touching her right now would only make things worse, because she needs space and time to process everything that’s happened.
I have to give her that, even if it kills me.
I grab a spare blanket from the pack and spread it on the floor near the fireplace.
The wooden boards feel hard and cold beneath me, and the blanket does little to cushion the discomfort.
I lie on my back and stare up at the ceiling, listening to the crackle of the fire and the distant sounds of the forest outside.
An owl calls somewhere in the darkness while small creatures rustle through the underbrush. Wind whispers through the gaps in the cabin walls and makes the flames dance.
The mate bond pulses in my chest as a constant ache that reminds me of everything I want and can’t have. Caelan’s emotions brush against mine through our connection, and I can feel anger still burning hot inside her. The loneliness runs so deep it makes my own heart hurt.
She’s only ten feet away from me, but she might as well be on the other side of the world.
I think about what she said, about her sister coming for me and the allied packs hunting me down. Part of me knows she’s right, and part of me knows that’s probably how this ends, no matter what I do or say.
But another part of me refuses to accept that outcome. The part that recognized her as my mate the moment I saw her in that bar won’t give up, because there has to be a way to make this right. There has to be a way to prove to her that I’m not the monster she thinks I am.
I just have to figure out what that is.