Chapter 13
Slade
If I had to define a single moment that fit this hard man, this would be it. From the corner of my eye, I saw the swipe of a single tear from his cheek. The heavy emotional state inside my Jeep could be cut with a knife, and I didn’t know how to relieve it or Mace.
I reached over to take his hand. In a rare move, with no attitude, he linked his fingers with mine, holding on tightly.
“What about rebuilding your life? You don’t have to be stuck here. The world’s a huge place,” I said, not really feeling those words. Instead, understanding how difficult it might be to stand up after such a horrifying experience.
“Maybe someday,” Mace said, and looked out the side window, into the darkness. “I didn’t want you to know, but I also didn’t expect you to show up like that. Anyone could have identified you.” In the dark window, I caught him wiping away another tear.
“I’m sorry then,” I said, but I wasn’t. “I’m into you, and I understand now why you battle your feelings to keep distance.”
“It’s not that,” Mace said, jerking his head around to face me.
“What happens if all these people who treat me with an abundance of care, learn that I’m gay?
They poured themselves into makin’ my life okay.
Even with the horror of the accident, I’m still hidin’.
And whatever, you’re just here for two months.
I’m stuck here when you leave. You’ll move on and I’d be stuck in a worse place than I already am. ”
“Being with me in all this chemistry we share doesn’t change anything. I don’t want to be outed either,” I explained, my thumb swiping over the top of his hand. “When I leave, I’m not gone for good. You could come see me, and I’ll come back here sporadically.”
Mace remained silent, his face turned away again, staring out at the night.
“I won’t show up there again. I wanted to see how you had fun since you aren’t fun around me.” I hoped for a smile and watched the spreading grin reflected in the window. Good. He didn’t need to dwell in the past. Today needed him here with me.
Mace’s honest stare focused on me again. “You need to stay away from the bar. Lori figured you out, others will too.”
“Okay. I think we’d be considered friends if I do get identified,” I said and watched his expression wilt. I didn’t want that. “But I’ll stay away. You’re good at your job. Your hands move so fast. Is that muscle memory?”
Mace continued to stare at me, ignoring the question. “Because I’m vulnerable, I’ll give you the win. I’m drawn to you too. I find myself drivin’ to your place instead of mine, every night.”
My hand tightened around Mace’s, holding him securely while he finally gave me some truth. “Was that painful to say?” I asked, doing my best to hold the chuckle inside.
“Kind of, not gonna lie.” He straightened in his seat.
“Well, if you were an apple, I’d consider you a delicious,” I said, my grin taking up my entire face.
“How long did it take you to come up with that?” he asked, also with humor which meant I had somehow managed to turn the night around.
“I said it in a movie. I think I got the line wrong. Maybe, you’re my delicious apple. No that’s probably wrong too.”
Mace’s laughter erased any tension still between us. “So you know I lied to you about the animals at home?” he asked.
“Yeah, it hurt a little,” I said, playfully.
“This has been a struggle for me. You’re a lot to deal with.”
“I don’t mind hearing that,” I said, and tugged our joined hands to press a kiss on his knuckles. “Maybe we could settle into whatever’s happening between us. You make me nervous that you won’t show up. It’d be nice to let that worry go.”
The bark of Mace’s laughter was nonsensical, yet everything right in my world. No matter what was said from here on out, I sensed we were in the next stage of whatever relationship we were creating. I liked it there. The resulting silence was comfortable for the rest of the ride home.
=?=
Mace
Hours later
With every ounce of surprise due, I realized I hadn’t emotionally tanked after the big reveal.
I’d protected myself from the past, seemingly by being a hard, harsh, unconnected human being, which wasn’t the truth at all.
I was relieved I hadn’t tanked, not by a long shot, and reached for my cell phone to send a text to Alice, letting her know Lori’s out and I’d be in late in the morning, since she’d be on her own to start cooking for the café.
“Where you going?” Slade asked, jostled when I adjusted the way I sat on the sofa, fingers extending as far as they could reach until the phone landed in my palm.
“I was thinkin’ about calling in in the mornin’. With Lori gone, I’ll offer to move to a twelve-hour shift from eight to eight, probably. Go in a couple of hours later in the morning than normal,” I said and used a single thumb to text out the letters.
“How’s it already five o’clock in the morning?” Slade lifted to his elbow, stretching to glance back at me. “You aren’t a big sleeper, are you?”
“Maybe. It’s just been a long time since I slept a regular eight hours,” I said, finishing the text then tossing the phone back on the table. “I probably need to sleep for a couple hours then go by my place and get my stuff.”
“I like the sound of that. I’ll follow you, and bring your stuff back, or we can stay at your place sometimes,” Slade said.
We sat together on Slade’s large love seat.
I was turned, one knee bent, the other hanging off the side.
Slade had his boots crossed on the sofa table.
His head leaned against the back of the sofa, staring at me.
We’d taken a turn tonight. I was different. I recognized it and also didn’t question it too closely. Happiness was weird. Easygoing was a pretend state, except right this minute. And we hadn’t had immediate sex. Most nights we weren’t able to make it to the bedroom before we started.
“Hey,” Slade’s fingers snapped in my face before I had an answer. “Where did the name Red come from? Max kept calling you Red.”
“Red? I don’t even hear it anymore,” I said and twisted in the seat to sit like Slade. His hand came to my thigh, patting me there. “When I was born, I had a patch of dark auburn hair. My eyes were bright blue with red hair. It stuck,” I explained.
His head cocked and tilted backward. Slade made a show of scanning my hair. “You’ve got an excellent head of hair,” he said. “Full, lots of color and depth. The loose curls are perfect.”
“Are you makin’ fun of me?” I asked, teasingly. I ran my fingers through my hair, pushing it off my face. “It’s a lot to deal with so I don’t. I’m due my annual haircut. Overdue.” I sought Slade’s hand, tangling our fingers together.
“You’re different,” Slade said, lifting our joined hands. “What changed?”
“I don’t know, really, but it’s easier that you know, and you weren’t judgy about it,” I said, truthfully.
Maybe relief was a better way to describe it.
Everything inside me felt like I belonged right here, at least for right now.
Maybe this relationship was the new beginning to propelled me into more.
It didn’t feel overwhelming like it had twenty-four hours ago.
“You don’t have animals to feed?” Slade said, softly, carefully. No accusation in his tone.
“I do, they just aren’t mine,” I said, rolling my head his direction. “I volunteer. I’d like to have an animal refuge. They shot Wildflower while I was unconscious. I’d’ve done my best to rehab her, keep her safe until the end of her life.”
Slade’s hand squeezed mine.
“What about Natalie?” The question was asked so vaguely, that I wasn’t sure what he wanted to know. I answered the only way I knew how. To just talk about her.
“I met Natalie in first grade. She declared that we’d be married someday. That was just how she was. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. Her family was abusive—best way to say it. She knew I was gay and never uttered a single word to anyone.”
“Not even Lori?” Slade asked, his gaze moving to mine.
“Why do you say it like that?” I asked.
“Max told me that Lori thinks you’re gay. Did Natalie drop that clue?”
What a way to put two and two together. I’d never heard anyone say anything like that where I was concerned.
“Don’t answer that. I feel you becoming defensive.”
“You think you know me?” I popped off because I didn’t want that revelation about my identity to be true.
Slade’s grin was immediate, and he rose to be better able to look down at me. The teasing glint in his expression only gave me a few seconds to adjust my position enough to let him come down on top of me. “I think I’m learning about you.”
At least on my end, it was a playful attempt to wrestle until I was better on the sofa.
“I know you,” I said, my head resting on the soft cushion, staring up at Slade who did his best to lie half on me without falling off the couch.
His gaze never left mine. “Local boy who made it big. You mentioned your mom had breast cancer and you found this place through that other famous dude that lives somewhere around here,” I said.
“You did pay attention,” Slade said, caressing his free hand up the side of my face until his fingers pushed that unruly lock of hair off my forehead. “The friend’s Austin Grainger. He wants me to come see his place and talk.”
“He makes movies too?”
“Yeah. He owns a production company. It’s done well,” Slade said, lifting enough to place a kiss on my lips. “You should come with me…”
“No.” His strong hand covered my mouth before I said anymore.
“It’s a secluded farm, NDA’s are required, no one will see you, and we can go as friends.” As he spoke, he began shaking his head yes, urging me to go. “It’s in a couple of weeks, enough time to schedule help at work…”
“We’ll see, but get off me,” I teased. “We don’t fit on this love seat.”
“I like being close to you,” he said and leaned in to press a kiss on my lips again. “Wanna go to bed?”
“I didn’t ever ask you. You sure you aren’t tired of havin’ me here every single night?” No words were necessary with the extreme look of aggravation on Slade’s face as he pushed to his feet, bringing me up with him.
“I’ve had a perfect week. You’re charming and gor—”
“Literally no one has ever called me charmin’ before.”
“Well, they’ve missed the best part of you,” Slade said, holding on to my hand as he started around the sofa to the bedroom.
“Another thing about you? You’re regularly full of shit.
” We both laughed at the abrupt way I used in the takedown.
“You say you’re hardcore, but all I see is a romantic.
I haven’t been around one before,” I said, walking a pace or two behind Slade.
He wore vintage Levi’s that encased his ass into a thing of beauty.
My cock plumped as I tucked my lips between my teeth.
“I’ll give you part of that. I like spending time with you. I’m sickeningly sweet on you. It’s not normal for me,” Slade said. At the doorway of his bedroom, he stopped, urging me inside the room before him. “I’m going to shut everything down. You go to bed. I’ll let you sleep.”
My brows knitted together. “I’m good to go if you want me.”
Slade took a step backward. “I’m trying to prove to myself that I can go without sex every day. I like other things about you. If we’re going to have an actual relationship, I need you to get inside the bed and fall asleep before I get back here.”
“All right. I guess.” I started in that direction but stopped and swung around. Slade was rooted in his spot close to the doorframe, watching me. “You know you’re a control freak.”
Slade chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Since you’ve rarely given into me on anything, I feel like I can’t be a control freak. You on the other hand…”
I shooed him and his thought away. It didn’t need to be said. I was mental, for sure, but had rarely ever had control of anything in my life, meaning Slade needed to go on before I felt compelled to debate that with him.