Chapter 32
Mace
Nothing cleared a head better than wide-open spaces.
At least for me that was true. I took my seat in my Adirondack chair and let Whiskey’s reins go, giving him freedom to explore. Between the cowboy hat on my head and this quarter horse gazing nearby, they’d both become an extension of me.
So had Slade who should be sitting in the seat beside me right then. I absently reached for the arm of Slade’s chair, resting my hand there as if I could still feel his energy.
I removed my hat with the other hand and rested it on my knee. After a deep exhale, I leaned by head against the back of the chair.
The strangest part of my coming out was that I found I didn’t care what anyone thought about me. What a weird thing to figure out after all this time. Since the second we told my parents and they’d welcomed my truth with open arms, the rest didn’t matter.
What did matter was that Slade wasn’t there with me. And why couldn’t I wrap my head around the idea that Slade didn’t want me anymore? That the price he’d paid wasn’t worth his involvement with me?
I was so lost in the thought that I hadn’t noticed Whiskey come into my space until he nudged me.
I thought he wanted the carrots I always had with me, but that wasn’t it.
He was showing me a rider on horseback headed my way.
I still reached inside my saddlebag to reward Whiskey for a job well done.
The rider wasn’t on a leisurely run; he galloped with intent, dirt clumps flying behind the horse.
As he came closer, I saw Kitt Kelly was the rider.
I stayed on my feet, waiting for his arrival.
The calmness that overtook me didn’t even allow for any curiosity as to why he’d come to see me today.
I was actually thankful for the company.
Kitt rode Pepper, easily commanding the animal where Slade was still out of sorts with him.
“Hey,” I said when they finally came to a halt directly in front of me. I reached for the reins, as he fluidly kicked a foot over Pepper to dismount. “Did I miss somethin’?”
“Nah, Austin told me he talked to Slade. That he’s in a dark place and didn’t come home this weekend.
” Kitt took the reins and guided Pepper to the pond for a drink.
“I might be the only person on the planet that understands what you’re goin’ through, so I came.
” Kitt shrugged, reaching for a bottle of water fixed to the saddle.
“Do you feel like he’s ruined your life?
Because that’s what he thinks you should think.
It sounds like he’s in a bad place of self-doubt and selfishness. ”
“I’m givin’ him room, but it’s hard. We’re takin’ all this completely differently.” As we spoke, he pulled out two travel-size fishing poles, offering one to me.
“You fish?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I took the pole. How long had it been since I cast a line? Too long.
Kitt produced a small carton of worms.
“It’s been a while since I’ve done this,” Kitt said as he took the different parts of the pole out of the small carry case.
“Life gets complicated. It’s hard to balance the interruptions with runnin’ a farm.
Sometimes I lose the joy of bein’ at one with the countryside.
” He deftly put the pole together as he spoke.
I followed along and did mine too. “But fishin’ handles all problems,” he added, grinning broadly.
“I expected to find you in a dark place. You seem okay.”
“I guess,” I said. “It’s beginnin’ to feel like Slade wants out.
He’s not talkin’ to me much anymore. That part’s been hard because he made us talk all the time.
I miss my buddy.” Kitt dropped down into a squat, digging through the worms. He handed one to me, and we both baited our hooks.
“But for some reason, I reject that. Slade’s more emotional than I am.
He sees the world differently than I do. ”
“Yep, so did Austin. A hugely talented actor that wasn’t cut out for the harsh reality of the celebrity lifestyle.
I always thought I was clingin’ to Austin for my happiness while layin’ down all these rules about what we did and how we did it.
But it was really Austin hangin’ on to me.
I’m grounded and stuck to my land. My roots are deep.
I didn’t ever want to leave it. Austin needed me to be that way. That was a mindfuck to get past.”
I nodded, listening intently, feeling like I was getting to that same understanding between Slade and me.
I glanced around, checking on Pepper. Whiskey was there with him, munching on the grass at their feet.
“I guess that’s where I’m at. I know all the things he’s said are truthful.
But if I give him too much space, will he eventually end contact with me for whatever reasons he’s made by in his mind in all this chaos. ”
“He needs to get back here,” Kitt said, angling his pole to send the hook flying into the water.
“Who’d’ve thought they’d can him? Austin’s shocked, but he also sees a new entertainment industry formin’ that doesn’t value the actor.
They see ’em as a dime a dozen these days.
It’s why the quality of film has diminished… ”
“Titan’s fired him?” I asked, my gaze clashing with Kitt’s. I couldn’t contain my shock. “When did they do that?”
“A couple of days ago, I think. Austin picked it up on his news feed. Both the studio and Slade released statements sayin’ it was a joint decision to give Slade time to deal with his life. Somethin’ like that. No one told you?”
“No. That’s the problem. He’s tryin’ to shield me. I don’t want that.” I had agreed to it when he’d originally left, thinking it’d be easier, but not knowing what was going on was clearly not helping.
Kitt was such an easy guy to be around. He spoke of these dire topics with casual ease. “He needs to let that go, remember y’all’s dreams.”
I let my line swing until the hook and bait plopped into the water. “Social media isn’t real.” My guy needed to remember that. No, he had to stop believing any of it mattered.
“But it’s real in their world,” Kitt added.
I didn’t like to hear that one bit. “Has it been bad for him online?”
“Don’t know,” Kitt said, slowly reeling his line back to him. “But it can’t be good on his ego. Actors like to be liked in an industry full of asshole critics.”
“Slade’s sensitive,” I murmured, now afraid Slade was hurting with no one there to help him through it. “Should I go there? I feel like I should.”
“It wouldn’t be a bad idea. You’re potentially puttin’ yourself out for the public to see. What does that look like for you?” Kitt suddenly jerked his rod up and back, hooking a fish, water droplets spraying over the otherwise calm surface of the water.
At least now I knew there were fish in the pond. I’d not known for sure until that moment.
“I don’t care. I really don’t. I like the bubble we created.
Nothin’s penetrated it. Slade managed to live here every summer for years and no one bothered him.
Man, I feel bad for him. I know he didn’t think Titan’s would fire him.
He was afraid they wouldn’t let him out of his contract,” I said, drawing my line in as Kitt did the quick work of unhooking the fish and carefully tossing it back in the water.
“Good. Then you’re where Austin was when we went through it,” Kitt said, and baited his line again. “I think I did a better job at hidin’ my uncertainty than Slade’s doing, but I had other things in play against me. Without Austin, I’d likely have lost everything.”
I didn’t understand and waited for further explanation until he tossed his line back in the water. After several long seconds, I decided he wasn’t going to say more, so I changed the subject. “Did you hear that my lawyer’s gettin' an apology for me from the Dunn family?”
“That’s great news. That’ll help settle all this down,” Kitt said, slowly reeling the line back to the pole.
“I also took your advice. When the news first broke, I started an Instagram account and a YouTube account. I linked a donation option. We’re pulling in lots of new money,” I said and cast my line again.
“Way to turn lemons into lemonade,” Kitt said, grinning broadly, his gaze trained on the water.
“I was doin’ raw videos. They were super low-quality but that didn’t seem to matter,” I said, remembering those first videos. I’d had no idea what I was doing.
“Are you watchin’ the comments?” Kitt asked.
“Fuck no. Nobody even had to tell me not to watch them, but I’m sure followin’ the money. Tommy told me they’ll pay for views too. My followers are growin’ every minute. It’s good,” I said as I reared back to cast my line again, watching the hook fly through the air before hitting the water.
Kitt gave a good-natured chuckle. “So, what do I do to help?”
He was so genuine with his offer that it caused me to let the nibble on the end of my line go. “Can you stick around?”
“Sure. I need to head back probably at dark, but I’m here for however long you want me.”
I reeled my line back in, the line steadily slicing through the water until the empty hook emerged.
Then I headed to the chairs, pulling each one to the edge of the pond.
I also grabbed my sandwiches, and the Powerades I enjoyed.
I’d share my lunch readily. Lord knew I needed the distraction.
When Whiskey followed me back and forth between the chairs, I drew the carrots out again, feeding him one. Pepper came for his too.
Maybe I appeared desperate, whatever. I needed the company.
=?=
Mace
Early Monday Morning
From my perch on the edge of Slade’s bed, I watched the tick of Slade’s old school alarm clock.
As if this were the longest sixty seconds on record, the clock finally shifted to two o’clock in the morning.
The official time Nico called it a day. This allowed all the toddler Nico’s to handle the night shift until he rose again to start the day around six in the morning.
If I had any chance of leaving without notice, this would be the time.