Chapter 11
ETHAN
“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” I said, coming to stand next to Evan. He was the last person I expected to see out here.
I couldn’t see his expression because he had his gaiter and sunglasses on.
“Felt like I should pay my respects,” he said in that raspy voice of his.
“First time coming here?”
“It is,” he murmured.
I breathed out, really trying hard not to be an asshole to him.
I kept telling myself that I wanted what was best for Rosalie.
I didn’t think it was him, but I had to at least put in a bit of effort.
Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot.
Talking to Anson this afternoon made me realize that maybe I’d judged Evan too quickly.
I agreed to try again, which made Anson appear relieved.
But it was probably him telling me that Evan saved Rosalie’s life. That he was there when she thought everything was over. If I didn’t like the guy, I at least respected what he’d done for her.
So I’d try. Just like I did with Klaus, because I knew it was a similar situation.
“I come here a few times a month. Once a month with the guys. Weekly alone,” I continued.
Evan didn’t say anything, but I didn’t expect him to. He wasn’t much of a talker, that was for sure.
“If you’d like, I can take you back to my place and introduce you to Cole and Enzo.”
He said nothing for a moment before he looked at me.
“Why?”
“Uh, I don’t know. I mean, I know Cole is Ellis’s dad, so he’s going to be around a lot once he finds out. And Enzo is… well, I mean, he lives there, so it seems like you should just meet him too. He was a big part of Rosalie’s life, as they were going to marry.”
He said nothing and looked back at the grave.
“Is it weird to know he’s dead?” Evan asked.
“It hurts to know he’s dead. He and I… I don’t know.
Cole and Enzo have always been close. I had Fox.
We were kidnapped and tortured together.
I never got to tell him goodbye, so it sucks that I have to come here to talk to him when he should be calling from his hotel room, excited about the next football game he’ll be playing in.
Or I should be able to walk in on him taking a bubble bath with Rosalie.
Or… in bed with him while we make love to her.
” I wasn’t sure how he’d react to that last part, but it was true, so I said it.
“Do you still love Ro?” his voice was rougher than usual.
“I will always love her,” I whispered. “She was my entire world. If circumstances were different today, she still would be.”
“I’ve caught her over the years looking at pictures of you. She doesn’t think I know, but I do.”
I swallowed hard at his words.
“You two fell in love quickly.”
He let out a soft huff. “I’ve known her my whole life.
My soul has. She didn’t know me, but she ran to me the first time I saw her.
I was standing alone, looking at the river.
The mountains. Thinking about life and death.
And then, there she was. In her pretty dress and her hair wild.
She ran to me. Threw her arms around me as if her soul recognized mine.
I held her back. I-I asked her to marry me moments later. She said yes.”
I blinked at his story. I had no idea that’s how it happened.
“Then what?” I whispered, knowing I was going to hurt my own feelings really badly.
He chuckled sadly. Softly. “I kissed her. Took her to my room. We lay together all night, talking about life and love. She slept in my arms, and I felt like maybe I got something right in my life. That I was given a second chance. The next morning, she put on a pretty white dress, and I met her in the place she’d kissed me. We married there.”
“After a day?” I asked thickly. I honestly hadn’t thought that was true. It was wild to me that Anson hadn’t fought harder for Rosalie.
“One day,” he murmured. “Sometimes you just know.” He was quiet for a moment. “We danced in wildflowers that evening. The fireflies twinkled around us. It was late in the year, but nothing with us has ever been normal, it seems. We had wedding pie because she didn’t want cake.”
I winced at that. It reminded her of Cole.
“We had a few close friends there, and that was it. She was my wife. I was her husband. We spent the night with Anson. The three of us. It was my wedding gift to her. I knew he loved her. That she loved him.” He paused. “Our Rosie.”
I frowned and looked from Fox’s gravestone to him.
“What did you say?” I asked, my voice shaking. Fox called Rosalie Rosie. It was his name for her. Always had been.
“Do you believe in fate, Ethan?” he asked.
“I-I do,” I replied, my voice shaking. “Why did you call her Rosie?”
“Do you believe that Rosalie would have chosen me as a replacement for Fox?”
“I-I don’t want you to replace him. It angers me to think…” my voice trailed off.
“Do you even know our girl, E?” he asked.
I stared at him, my heart in my throat.
“Your sweetheart,” he murmured. “Do you think she’d ever choose someone not worthy of her?”
My guts clenched. Something wasn’t right. His tone in that moment…. It was so damn familiar, I didn’t dare to believe it…
I reached out, my hands shaking. He didn’t try to stop me. Instead, he let me pull his gaiter down to his neck, revealing his plump lips. I hadn’t been able to get a good look at him before when he was smoking in Church’s garden, but I knew those lips.
Fuck, I’d kissed those lips during heated moments in our bed with Rosalie.
With trembling hands, I removed his sunglasses. I was met with blue. So much blue.
But only one eye.
An ugly, jagged scar down the side of his face where his milky white eye was.
It didn’t matter. I knew those eyes. Those lips.
“Fox?” I choked out. “… Foxy?”
“Hey, brother,” he murmured, reaching for me as I stumbled to him.
I fell into his arms, sobbing loudly, clinging to him.
“What the fuck?” I cried, burying my face in his neck. He even smelled like Fox. “What the fuck, man?”
He wrapped his arms around me tightly and held me as I sobbed. His big body shook as he cried with me.
“You fucking asshole,” I sobbed. “How the fuck…? Why? What the fuck?”
“I’m sorry, E. I’m so fucking sorry.” He held me tighter as we both cried.
We stood clinging to one another for a long ass time before I finally pulled away from him.
I reached out and cradled his face.
“You’re you,” I whispered. “But you’re…Evan.”
He nodded, and I wiped away his tears.
“Foxy… How?”
“Matteo,” he said. “I-I was going through some dark things. I was angry and worried about Rosalie. I-I was upset I wasn’t marrying her.
It was fucked up of me, but I lost myself.
Matteo was smart enough to find me. He knew Anson wanted Rosalie.
If I died, it would break the horsemen apart.
She’d run to Anson. He’d get the girl. All would be well because she’d finally be safe. ”
I swallowed hard at his words, hating them, but knowing they were true.
“He gave me a coin,” he continued. “To push when I was ready to die. The underground was too much for me. I-I was already dying, but I had to save you, so I pushed the button. It was a last-ditch effort.” He wiped at his eyes again.
“I-I thought I was dead. Alessio turned up, drugged me, and then dragged me away. I woke up in Matteo’s underground lair.
He saved me. Gave me a new life. When I was well enough, I went to the mountain where I had told Rosalie to meet me months ago.
I didn’t really think I’d be alive. I only thought she’d be closer to heaven to feel me.
” He shook his head and let out a little laugh.
“But I was there. Waiting for her. She knew me without ever seeing my face. I decided I wasn’t ever going to let her slip past me again. Now she’s my wife.”
“I can’t believe this,” I said, shaking my head. This news had really fucked me up.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please, don’t tell Cole and Enzo.”
“What? Are you fucking kidding me?” I frowned at him. “They’ve been missing you as much as I have. Fuck, Enzo drinks every fucking day just to drown out his pain.”
“E, please. They can’t know.”
“Why?” I demanded, my heart in my throat. The guys were broken at his passing. It fucked us all up.
“I just… I’m not ready. I only told you because I knew you hated me—Evan—and I didn’t want that to ruin anything we once had. So please. I am asking you not to tell my secret.”
“It’s really fucked, Evan, that you left us, that you fucking left me, and you ran off and took our girl with you.
We fucking needed you, and we thought we’d buried you!
Five fucking years, man! Do you know what it was like to scream your name at night, reaching for you in my fucking nightmares?
” My dismay washed away as anger coursed through me.
“Yes,” he whispered. “Because I screamed your name every night and reached for you, too. It would seem that fate found a way for us to hold one another again.”
My throat ached, and my eyes burned with my tears. This was a fuck of a lot to process.
“I-I can’t. I-I have to go.”
“E, man, wait.”
“Evan. Fox. Whoever the fuck you are…” I shook my head as I backed away. “I just… no. You’re dead. Fox is fucking dead. I won’t tell your secret, but you’re dead to me.” My voice cracked on the words I was desperate to take back. “You’re fucking dead.”
I turned, ran back to my car, and got in. I pounded my hands on my steering wheel for a moment before I looked up to see that Evan was on his knees at his own grave, his body shaking as he cried.
Fuck him for leaving me. For leaving us. For taking Rosalie away.
But really, fuck me for being mad because he’d done what I’d have done if given the chance.
I didn’t know what the fuck any of this meant. What I did know was that I needed to get the fuck out of there before I crumbled right next to him on that grave.