Chapter 12 #2
“I don’t get to come to your house enough,” Jade said as she settled on the couch. I sat in my chair, not wearing a shirt yet, and still in my sweatpants.
“You look so different without your suit on,” she continued, eyeing me as she sat forward, her tits nearly popping out of her dress.
“You look different without those ugly fucking work suits on,” I said.
She laughed at that before sipping the wine I’d given her. I’d drunk way too much to have a woman like her around me.
But fuck it. I was angry and pissed off. E had moved on. Cole was pissed. And me? What the fuck was I even doing? Wasting my life, hating myself, and for what? So I could die alone after my friend jerked me off?
We both finished our drinks, and I tried to get up but got the spins, so I fell back into my seat.
She laughed softly at that.
“I got it,” she said. “I am your assistant, after all.”
I chuckled at that, watching as she took our glasses to the bar and refilled them. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. She was gone for a minute, and in that minute, I let myself relax.
I wasn’t going to do shit with her. I made that decision. In fact, I suddenly wanted her to leave. I’d ride this shit out, drink slower, and then go to bed. I’d hang out for another half hour before bidding her good night.
The plan made sense in my head.
“How long have you had all those tattoos?” Jade eyed my chest tattoo as she handed me my drink. Red wine this time. I fucking hated wine.
I looked down at the tattoo. It snaked down to my arm sleeve and up to my neck. It ended on my fingers.
“About five years,” I said, taking a deep drink of the wine so I could get it over with. “Right after my wife died.”
“Mm, I forgot you’ve been married before.”
“She was easy to forget about,” I said, taking another drink. I’d finished it. So much for slow. It either tasted like shit, or I’d picked up the wrong kind of wine. I tried to keep a few bottles on hand, but had yet to find anything I loved.
Jade smirked at that. “So no sadness left?”
“I’m a man who lost his true love,” I said, thinking about Rosalie. “Of course I’m sad.”
My head spun again. I felt really fucking shitty. I scrubbed my hand down my face. I needed to learn to pace myself.
She got up and moved to me. I stared up at her as she stood in front of me.
“Maybe I can fix that,” she murmured.
I exhaled. “I don’t really think so.”
“Then I’ll help you to bed,” she said, holding out her hand.
I nodded, knowing I’d need that. Once there, she’d leave me to sleep.
I let her help me to my feet.
“I’m sorry. I used to be more fun,” I slurred out, my vision swimming from all the alcohol.
“I think you’re fun,” she tittered as she led me upstairs. I followed, feeling completely light and heavy at the same time.
When we got to my room, she helped me settle onto my bed.
“Thank you,” I mumbled. “It’s been a rough few days.”
“You must be going nuts with all the media coverage because of Bishop.”
I winced at Rosalie’s name.
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah.” I rubbed my eyes as my vision continued to swim. I’d had way too fucking much to drink.
“I was so jealous when I saw the sex tape.”
I frowned. “What?”
“Of you and Bishop.” She paused for a moment. “I wished it were you and me.”
“What the fuck? Why?”
“Because you look like a man who knows how to please a woman. I’ve never had an orgasm from sex.”
“Seems like a terrible problem to have,” I muttered. “Maybe you need to make better choices in men.”
She laughed softly at that. “Maybe. I think I’m making the right choice now.”
I raised my brows at that. “Yeah?”
She nodded and moved to stand between my legs.
I breathed out and placed my hands on her hips before looking up at her.
I wanted to do this. I wanted to feel human again.
But… fuck. I wanted those feelings to be with Rosalie.
I was brave enough to admit that, at least drunk.
Plus, I was so fucking stressed about her being missing.
It was nightmare fuel. I paid people to search for her, but everything came back empty.
I’d spent time on the street, looking. Still nothing. It was killing me.
Jade raked her fingers through my hair, and I closed my eyes. How long had it been since someone touched me like this?
Easy. Five years.
“We’ve had a little to drink,” Jade said softly. “But I know what I want, Enzo.”
“Yeah? What do you want?” I asked, forcing the words out even though I didn’t give a shit what she wanted.
“You.”
I scoffed at that. “You’re nuts.”
“Maybe,” she said, “but I can’t help how I feel. I think we’d be good together.”
I couldn’t deny that these things were true. She was beautiful. She was familiar with my business and life, and it didn’t scare her away. She’d look good on my arm, and we’d have beautiful children.
She made sense.
But me? I was fucked.
I let my hands fall away.
“I need to sleep.” I lay back on my bed, my head spinning. I drank entirely way too much daily. It helped numb a lot of my pain, but it still wasn’t enough to make me forget.
She stood at the edge of my bed for a few moments before sitting and holding my hand.
“I know you’re hurting,” she murmured. “I went through a bad breakup, too, that messed me up.”
I grunted.
“I mean, you had Bishop. And a wife. So you’ve suffered twice. I just…” She paused. “Just think about it, OK?”
I said nothing. She made to get up, but I tightened my hand in hers.
“Stay,” I mumbled, my throat tight. “Maybe if I wake next to you, it’ll change my heart.”
She wordlessly slid into bed next to me and rested her head against my chest.
We didn’t speak. I just felt her warmth against me.
I didn’t hate it.
I didn’t love it either.
Only the morning would tell.