Chapter 22
RYDER
Four days after Anson’s call, I was no sooner cracking Rosalie’s code than I had been when Anson had called.
“No. I’m not doing another anal scene with her,” Trevor said into the phone. “No. She shit on me last time.” He let out a huff. “I don’t give a fuck if the fetish community enjoyed it. She fucking shit on me! I’m not doing another ass video with her.”
I rubbed my eyes. I felt like Klaus sent me here because he knew the entire thing was ridiculous and Trevor would make me want to come home.
He wasn’t wrong.
I looked at my watch. Another hour and I’d be done for the day.
Trevor hung up the phone. “Can you believe that shit?”
“You’re the shit master,” I muttered.
He grunted. “Not a crown I want, but one I must wear apparently.”
“Are you going to do the scene?”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “They’re giving me a bonus.”
“Is the bonus soap?”
He snorted. “Fucking better be included, dude.”
He was quiet for a moment as we sat in his apartment.
“You ever had anyone shit on you?”
“Can’t say I have,” I muttered.
“You’ve had to have wild sex before. I mean, look at you! You’re fucking gorgeous, man. How many bitches have you been with? What’s your body count?”
“Dead or alive ones?” I asked.
He frowned. “You fuck dead people?”
I sighed. “No. I don’t fuck dead people.”
“OK. Cool. So alive ones. How many? You into women? Men? Both? Fucking trees?”
“I like women,” I said.
“Never been with a man before?”
“No.”
“Really? I fuck chicks exclusively, but I’d make an exception for you. I can pitch the idea to Randy. He asked me if you’d be interested in doing some work—”
“You want me to fuck you for a video?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Or I fuck you.”
“No thanks.”
“But you’ll do it if you fuck me?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “How big is your dick?”
I sighed. Fuck, he drove me nuts.
“Bigger than yours,” I said. I wasn’t being an ass. It was the truth. Trevor had a big cock, but mine was definitely bigger. And thicker.
“Fuck.” He winced. “Nah. I’ll suck it, but I ain’t fucking it.”
“Perfect,” I muttered. “Looks like my Saturday night is back to being open.”
He chuckled and sat on the couch next to me.
“Hey, who hurt you?” he asked.
“What? No one fucking hurt me.”
“Talk to me,” he said. “I don’t know you. You’re kind of a grouchy, no fun prick, but I can tell you’re hurting. I’m impartial. So tell me. Who’s the chick?”
I sighed. I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. It wasn’t like he knew Rosalie, Anson, and the guys. He did have a lot of experience with women. Maybe not relationships, but women for sure.
“Rosalie,” I said softly.
“Pretty name. Picture?”
I unlocked my phone and went to a picture of us that she insisted we take. We were close, both grinning at the camera, the Eiffel Tower behind us.
I showed him the picture. He studied it for a moment.
“Do you fall in love with your clients a lot?”
“What?” I shook my head. “No.”
“Just checking. I wasn’t sure how I’d let you down once you fell in love with me.”
I looked at him to see that he was grinning.
“I’m fucking with you, man. It’s Bishop. I know her. Or at least, I definitely listen to her music. She’s stellar, man. Nice choice. How long did you guard her for?”
“It’s deeper than that,” I said. “She’s my best friend’s girl.”
“Anson? Her manager?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Rough. I get it. You love your best friend’s wife. So now what?”
“Now I’m here, trying to forget and save my friendships. She was…she went on vacation,” I said. “Away from the spotlight because she has this stalker situation.”
“And the sex tape. I’ve seen it. That Lorenzo De Luca.” He let out a low whistle. “I’d suck him off in a New York Minute. You too, so don’t feel too sad. Maybe even Anson.” He nodded with a faraway look in his eyes.
“Focus,” I said.
“Right. Bishop. Love of your life. Just tell her, man. Lay it all out. Poly is in these days. Who knows. It might work out for you, and you can stop moping.”
“And if she laughs in my face and my best friend punches me?”
“Roll with the punches, my friend. If you don’t, you’ll end up wondering what-if for the rest of your life. Seems miserable to me.”
I nodded. He had a point.
“Wish upon a star. Near or far away. No matter where you wander. No matter where you roam. The wish you’re chasing’s waiting right at home.”
I froze at his words.
“Where did you hear that?” I asked.
He shrugged. “My grandma used to say it.”
The door to his apartment opened, and Jared, my relief, came in.
“Time’s up. I’ll suck your dick next time,” Trevor said.
“Sounds good,” I murmured, an old memory surfacing.
“I’m serious, Ryder. I’ll do it.”
“I’ll let you,” I said, going to the door to Jared. “He’s all yours.”
“Great,” he muttered.
I rushed out and hailed a cab. Quickly, I rattled off my address, the memory playing in my head.
“You’re sad again, Red,” I said, stepping into Rosalie’s dressing room. She gave me a sad smile in her mirror before going back to putting on her makeup.
I walked up next to her. I liked to watch her put on her makeup.
“You should do the pink,” I murmured. “Then the black.”
She picked up the pink eyeshadow. I watched as she applied it perfectly, then did the winged black liner that drove me wild.
“How do I look?” she asked, turning to look up at me.
“Pretty as the moon. Star of the show.”
She smiled, tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She shook her head and dabbed at her eyes.
“I-I get these moments sometimes where I just feel so… empty.”
I knelt in front of her and brushed a curl away from her face.
“Make a wish,” I murmured. “Something that could fill the emptiness. I’ll be your star to wish upon.”
“I-I wish I were home.”
“L.A.?”
She shook her head. “No. Home. Chicago.”
I got it. She wanted her old life back. I suspected she did.
“Do you really want to go back to all that?” I reached out and wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek.
“I just never got to close that chapter in my story. I-I wish I could go home again so I could.”
“Then what?”
“MO,” she whispered.
I smiled at that.
Move on.
MO meant she wanted to keep going without greeting fans. She’d mouth it to me or whisper it into my ear after events.
“So your wish on your star is to go home to Chicago? To your old life?”
“I guess. Silly, huh?”
“No, Red, it’s not silly. You deserve to close out those chapters. When you’re really ready, I’ll go with you.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “As long as I breathe, I’ll make sure your wishes come true.”
She threw her arms around me, and I hugged her tightly against me, knowing my words were my truth.
And fuck me for that.
I dialed Anson, but it went to voicemail.
“Fuck,” I said, trying again, but it did the same thing. I pulled up Evan’s number, but it only rang and rang.
I got out of the cab after it pulled in front of my building and ran inside to my apartment. I grabbed a bag and started stuffing my shit back into it as I dialed Anson again and got nothing.
Irritated out of my mind, I pulled up the flight app and booked a flight to Chicago. If I left now, I’d make it in time.
I raced outside and hailed another cab before heading to the airport. I kept trying the guys, but no one answered. Even Klaus wasn’t answering.
Panic ebbed through me at what that could mean, but I was headed there, so I’d know soon enough.
But fuck, soon enough didn’t seem soon enough.