11. King
It’s been a week since my family has been under my roof. I’m still bringing breakfast over every morning, but if it’s possible, Sparrow has put up even more walls. I don’t know what to do to get through to her, so I’m going to the one person that does: Skye. I’ve seen the bond between the two women, and I’m hoping like hell Skye takes pity on me.
Ringing the doorbell, I take a step back and wait outside of my cousin’s house. Cam is at work, so it’s the perfect time to talk to his girlfriend. He won’t be here to witness me begging her for anything useful. The door slowly starts to open, revealing a disheveled Skye.
Maybe today wasn’t the day to come here.
“King? What’s wrong?” Skye says softly as she holds her stomach.
“Hey, Skye. Sorry, I just wanted to talk to you, but I can come back.”
“No, it’s fine. Come in." She waves me in while opening the door wider.
Sitting down, Skye wraps back up into a blanket while I take a look around. She only has one lamp on, the rest of the house is dark. There’s a pouch of saltines laying open on the coffee table, with a ginger ale open next to them.
“What’s up, King?” she asks softly.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Ugggh. Don’t tell anyone, but since you’re here, I can’t hide it." A small smile graces her lips. "I’m pregnant, but we aren’t telling people yet.”
“No shit? Congratulations! But why aren’t you guys saying anything?” I missed this stage, so I have no idea about pregnancy.
“Because this isn’t the first time…or the second. It doesn’t matter how much I want this; I keep losing them.”
Fuck.
“Skye…shit, I’m sorry.” What else can I say? I’m sorry seems like a shitty response, but again, I don’t know anything about pregnancy.
“Thank you. Now what did you need before the next round of puking starts?”
“I need your help. Sparrow is keeping a really long arm’s length between us, and I don’t know what to do to earn her trust. Not this version of her.”
“King, I can’t tell you her story. What I can tell you is that whatever you're thinking, it’s worse. There are valid reasons Sparrow doesn’t let anyone in, I just got lucky.”
“You’re a good friend to her, Skye. Thank you. Thank you for being there for her and my kids.”
“I love them. I will continue to do everything I can for them, they are all special. Sparrow has a tough exterior, but she is really soft on the inside, you just need to get through a few thorny layers. Loch and Telle are such—” Skye abruptly stops speaking, jumps up from the couch, and runs down the hall.
Hearing Skye empty her stomach into the toilet, I take out my phone.
Hey, I stopped by to talk to Skye. Uh, she told me the news. I’m happy for you, man. But she's in the bathroom getting sick, what can I do?
Cam
Thanks, man. We haven’t let ourselves get excited yet, but she hasn’t ever gotten to this stage before. I’m pulling up to the house in a minute.
I meet Cam in the kitchen when he walks in from the garage. Cam walks in carrying an arm full of ginger ale and another box of crackers. “Hey, man.”
The poor guy looks like he didn’t sleep last night, but when Skye walks into the room, he breaks out in a wide smile as he gently pulls her into his arms.
“I’m going to get out of your guys’ hair. I’m really happy for the both of you.” I start walking out of the house before they respond, making it to my truck before I hear Cam call out.
Turning around, I’m met with Cam jogging towards me and Skye standing in the doorway. “King. Are you okay?”
“I honestly don’t know. My world hasn’t made sense since in eight years, and by some fucking miracle, Sparrow is here. But she…I can’t get through to her.”
“From what I’ve seen from her, Sparrow won’t open up until she feels like she knows you. Have you tried to tell her about the last eight years from your point of view?”
Son of a bitch. I should have gone to my cousin immediately; he is the only one in a committed relationship.
My day has not turned out how I intended. I wanted to flood Sparrow’s phone with text message after text message, filling her in on the last eight years of my life. But did that happen?
No, it did not.
As soon as I left Cam’s, I got called into the bar for a broken pipe. Five hours later, I’m pulling up back at home—wet, angry, and starving. Not a good combination. Stopping in the kitchen, I make a quick sandwich and continue on to my room. I could tell that Sparrow was confused by our setup, but this makes sense for us.
Dropping into bed after my shower, I reach for my phone. Time to rip off the Band-Aid and text my bird.
When I was eighteen, I took my dad’s truck in the middle of the night and crashed it.
When I was nineteen, I got into a bar fight and got arrested.
I own that bar now.
I don’t bother adding that both of those happened on her birthday. I was not in a good place for many years, it's about the time people started calling me an asshole.
Ace got into an accident when he was nineteen and ended up needing a full leg cast.
River hates recognition, but I have every article written about him and his studio.
Once dots appear, I hold my breath. Is she going to tell me to shut the hell up? Is she going to add to the conversation? Ask questions about those statements? Sparrow being here is the best and worst thing. She makes me feel out of control. I’m trying to give her space, but it’s killing me.
Bird
I’m sure Ace was being reckless. He doesn’t seem like he’s changed
Barking out a laugh, because she isn’t wrong. My middle brother has always been a daredevil, but ninety percent of that is covering up our childhood. He buried his trauma in making people laugh.
Bird
How’s his anxiety?
Of course she remembers. Ace has had anxiety since he was about eight years old, and it’s only gotten worse. Now, on top of anxiety he also suffers from depression, but most of the time you would never know. Making sure my younger brother is okay is something that weighs heavily on me.
He still has his battles with it.
Bird
I’m sorry to hear that.
Bird
You all seem to have done very well up here.
I don’t know what type of answer I should give her. My family has done well up here, but how am I supposed to tell her that, while she clearly has struggled.
Bird
Don’t feel guilty.
Easier said than done.
Yeah, my dad really dug down deep and got to work once we were all living up here.
Tell me something.
Bird
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to do right by our babies.
Bird
I’m sorry I failed.
Fuck! She didn’t fail, she wasn’t given the opportunities to thrive. I would give anything to rewind time and never leave her. Things would be so different.
You listen to me, Bird. You did not fail them. Any kid would be lucky to have you as their mom.
Bird
This might upset you, but you should know.
Bird
Loch’s first word was dadda, and I was so confused because we were never around men.
Fuck, really?
Bird
Yes! Her only word for two weeks was dadda.
Thank you for telling me.
I fucking missed you, Bird.
I don’t care if I have to get on my knees and beg Sparrow to forgive me, to let me in. I’ll do it, gladly. I’ll do anything to get her to look at me with trust shining in her pretty blue eyes. My delusion tells me that if I get her to trust me, I can get her to love me. Sparrow now holds trust above anything else.
Bird
I missed you too.
Bird
Goodnight, Kingston.
Goodnight, Bird.
Not letting myself get too comfortable, I climb out of bed and a few minutes later I’m climbing back into my truck. My brothers think I’m crazy for still sleeping in my truck. I need to be close to Sparrow in case she needs me, and if sleeping in my truck is as close as I can get, then that’s what I’ll do. She didn’t randomly choose to move here; it was a necessity. One that I’m taking seriously.
Looking up the driveway, I don’t see any lights coming from the house, so I recline my seat and get as comfortable as I can. Luckily, I have a big truck, and the seats actually aren’t too uncomfortable.