Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RAVEN
I t was no surprise that when I got home from the Pit that I showered, ate dinner, and crashed for the night. The adrenaline rush had been insane, but the crash after had hit me like a ton of bricks.
I stared at myself in the mirror the next morning, sighing as I ran my fingers through my faded blue hair. It was well overdue for a touch up, and my mascara was more water than product. Watering it down to make it last had worked for a while, but it wasn’t even thick enough now to cling to my lashes.
“What are you doing? You’ve been in here for ages,” Zavier said as he poked his head in with worry.
“I look like shit.”
“You look hot.”
“So I’m a steaming pile of shit?” I joked as he stepped up behind me and put his arms around my middle.
“No. Like the pornstar in all my dreams. You want to fix your hair? Is that the problem?” he asked, dropping his mouth to my shoulder to kiss it. “Go shopping in Ashburn and buy some dye.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? You’ve got money in the bank, right?”
He had a point, but the thought of spending money on something for vanity made my stomach twist. What if I needed to save the money for when Rory didn’t need me again?
Knowing my thoughts as always, Zavier sighed. “It’s not a waste of money. It’s like 20 bucks.”
“Hey, not that long ago, that was a lot of money. The money I have might be better to keep for emergencies,” I argued, turning in his arms.
“You don’t do a lot for yourself, babe. If dying your hair blue makes you feel good, keep doing it. Besides, it looks good spread out on the pillows,” he winked, giving me a kiss. “Ashburn is pretty safe, and there are cameras everywhere. Nothing should happen to you.”
“Wait, you’ll let me go alone?” I asked in surprise.
“I’m trying here. You don’t like being smothered, especially when it’s unnecessary. As long as you have your phone on you, you can call someone for help if something gives you a bad vibe,” he smiled, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“I could even stop by Harley’s Bar for a shake.”
“You could. Keep in touch, and I’ll try not to worry,” he promised, moving back a step. “I’m also buttering you up because I’ve been asked to do something and you won’t like it.”
My mood soured instantly, my heart rate spiking. “What the fuck does Ander?—”
“Ander hasn’t asked me to do anything. He wouldn’t do that behind your back, not now,” he said calmly. “Slash has asked me for a favor. They’re hosting some fights tonight. With Diesel handling so much of the Heights community center stuff, Jensen having business meetings, and Lukas helping the Devils, they don’t have someone to help out at the Shed with the bar. I know you don’t like us dealing with crew stuff, but?—”
“You’d just be working the bar?” I cut in, knowing how badly he liked being part of things.
“Yeah. They don’t tend to let outsiders know the ins and outs of their business deals, so I’d only be doing basic stuff to help out. They can ask Jett or even Riley if I can’t. Slash just wanted to offer it to me because he knows we’ve been asking for jobs lately.”
“It’s paid?”
“Nothing in this world is free,” he teased, toying with the ends of my hair. “You wouldn’t mind? I don’t want you worrying. I’d be home super late.”
The Psychos would keep him safe. There was no way they’d even ask him to help out if they thought they were going to have an attack or something.
“Okay. Just try to check in when you can so I know the place hasn’t been shot to shit,” I said slowly, his eyes lighting up.
“You don't mind?”
“I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I said no when Beckett keeps hanging around me, right?” I joked, knowing I’d made the right choice when he kissed the hell out of me.
If they were working on giving me space, then I had to work on trusting them to get home safely to me. My fear of gangs and being caught in the crossfire was mine to bear, not theirs.
It wasn’t fair that I was holding them back from things they enjoyed, and Zavier especially liked hanging out at the Shed.
“No drug deals or gun trading, I promise,” he grinned, swatting me on the butt lightly. “You’re the best girlfriend ever.”
“Jesus, it’s not that deep,” I grumbled awkwardly, giving him a light shove towards the door. “Go tell everyone else how cool I am. I’m going to see if Ander can drop me off in Ashburn.”
“You guys need a fucking car,” Ander grumbled, appearing in the hallway after apparently eavesdropping on our conversation.
“Is that a no?”
“Hurry up and put your shoes on,” he huffed, smiling as I stood on tiptoe to kiss him before running off to find my shoes.
“You know,” I started once I was sitting in the passenger seat of the Supra as Ander backed out of the garage. “If you weren’t busy, you could’ve just given me the keys to drive myself.”
“You’re cute, but you’re not that cute,” he joked, giving me a teasing grin as he headed towards Ashburn Valley. “I really hate people driving my car. I built it from scratch, it’s my baby.”
“I’ll never be able to afford my own car, you know that.”
“You will,” he answered, reaching over to rest his hand on my thigh. “You’ll have a cute little house with windows with no boards, and even if the car isn’t a fancy one, you’ll have wheels. I know you won’t accept it if I bought you one, but I can help you find something cheap when you’re ready.”
“From your dodgy chop shop, I suppose?” I drawled. I didn’t want parts of stolen cars in my possession.
“No. Believe it or not, but I have plenty of vehicles go through that are legit. It’s more like a wrecking yard with risks, that’s all.”
“Where is it?”
“Edge of Rawson Grove and Pine Valley. I have guys running it as a wrecking yard, but I can run my chop shop right out of it,” he shrugged, understanding hitting me.
“Hiding in plain sight is smart.”
“Exactly. We go through so many parts a year there. What’s useless we crush and destroy, the rest we can sell. The chop shop side of business doesn’t get used that much these days. I’m not involved in the illegal car activities.”
We were quiet for a few streets before I spoke again, my voice curious. “Do you miss it? It was your thing, right?”
“Going fast will always be my thing. The track doesn’t satisfy it all that much, but it’s better than nothing. Even if I went back to it now, I wouldn’t have the people I liked racing with. I’d never drag anyone back to it, and the other car groups around are idiots that just want to win, not race. They play dirty, and I’m not risking my life over it. Besides, seeing your face when you ran into the hospital waiting room when Reid crashed? Yeah, I couldn’t do that to you again,” he answered honestly, giving my thigh a squeeze before letting me go to change gears as he slowed.
I would’ve done anything back then for Ander to take Reid’s place that day, but now? The thought of him lying in a hospital bed made me feel sick. I understood why he enjoyed the speed though because I’d enjoyed it last time too.
“Maybe we could go for a drive sometime?” I offered, making him frown.
“We’re driving right now.”
“No, I meant so we could go a little fast. Just us. Nothing too crazy, but maybe it will help you get that feeling again.” I laughed as he put his foot down a little harder, jerking the car forward for a second before slowing down again. “Not right now.”
“I’ll take you for a drive as long as you let me eat your pussy when we stop,” he murmured.
“Zav will get jealous. He wants to watch me squirt on your hood,” I smirked, reaching out to trace a finger up and down his arm.
“Say the words and I’ll film it for him,” he said seriously, not pushing, just letting me know it was an idea if I wanted to. “I’ll probably be home most of today, so let me know when you need picking up, okay? I’ll come and get you. Oh, I almost forgot.”
“Forgot what?” I asked slowly as he leaned over to open the glovebox, dropping a phone on my lap.
“New phone. It’s all set up, just put your sim card into it so you have your contacts.”
“Ander—” I was going to kill him.
“Don’t fight me on this. That phone might seem expensive to you, but it’s nothing to me. Your phone is a piece of shit, Raven. I’m surprised it even still works. Humor me, okay? I feel better knowing you have a reliable device and I can contact you on other apps,” he scolded, pulling over as we reached the mall area. “Go shopping, have fun, and hate-fuck me later. Deal?”
“Say please.”
“Please, Mommy?”
“Absofuckinglutely not,” I gagged, swatting at him as he laughed. “Crossed a line, Lavaro.”
“You should see your face,” he said through laughter, grabbing me as I scowled and went to open the door. “Don’t think you’re leaving this car without kissing me.”
“Bite me,” I smiled sweetly, grabbing the handle to let myself out.
I gasped as he fisted my hair and yanked me back, kissing me before I could argue about it. He kept a tight hold on me until he was done, leaving me panting while he was completely calm and collected.
“Have a good day, Bluebird.”
I got out in a daze, watching him drive off as I tried to get control of my heart rate.
The beauty store with the super cheap things was close by, so I headed there and took my time browsing, eyeing all the products. My mascara brand was part of their latest sale, so I internally celebrated saving a few dollars as I started looking for the hair dye.
The variety in here was insane compared to the Heights, and I managed to get a better brand for almost the same price, hoping one box would be plenty for my hair. It was getting long, so I’d have to cut it soon to avoid needing to buy extra dye.
There were sale tags everywhere, my eyes skimming the shelves for other things I needed and even managing to find my deodorant for cheap. I hesitated when I found a fruity body wash, popping the cap to smell it.
It had been so long since I’d had nice shit like this of my own. Half the time I just used bars of soap that dried my skin out.
“Rae?”
I turned, finding Logan behind me. “Uh, hey. What are you doing here?”
He held up deodorant and a bottle of shampoo. “Supply run. Who are you here with? Zav?”
“Ander dropped me off. Ashburn is pretty safe, and there’s cameras everywhere here. Zav thought I might like to just browse and wander for a while,” I shrugged, his eyes landing on my things.
“Pamper day?”
“Something like that. My hair’s a mess,” I said as if he didn’t have eyes, his mouth curving into a small smile.
“I think it still looks nice. I should let you get back to your browsing.”
I was supposed to say goodbye, but instead, my mouth had other ideas. “Are you busy? I was just going to wander then have a shake at Harley’s, if you wanted to tag along?”
“You wouldn’t mind?” he asked with uncertainty.
“It might be nice to just hang out.”
“I’d like that,” he smiled, falling into step beside me as I started walking along the aisle. “So, you’re the Heights' latest celebrity. Did you get much damage?”
“A few bruises but nothing I can’t handle.”
“You did good.”
My face heated slightly, enjoying his praise way more than I should have.
“Yeah?”
“Definitely. I know we always push you aside and fight your battles for you, especially since that bitch cut you, so I’m sorry about that. You looked so fucking happy last night,” he said, nudging me. “She fought you because you punched her brother? What did he do to you?”
“He heard I was open for business,” I said dryly, his eyes narrowing.
“Seriously? Who was he?”
I shrugged, holding my items tighter to avoid dropping them as we started making our way to the front of the store. “He didn’t like me telling him to fuck off, so I punched him and busted his nose. I don’t know who he is, or his sister. We didn’t exactly exchange names. He knew mine though.”
“I know we’ve established the fact that you can fight your own battles, but if he bothers you again, let me know. I’ll deal with him.”
“I think he got the memo,” I grinned, moving to the front counter and placing the items on it for the woman to scan. She barely eyed us, scanning my items and telling me the total.
Usually, we were studied as if they had x-ray vision to see stolen goods under our clothes.
I quickly paid and took the bag from her, waiting for Logan to do the same with his things before we walked out.
No one followed us, no beepers went off, nothing.
“So, where to next?” Logan asked, glancing around at the other shops. “You have Lavaro’s credit card? Is this a shopping spree of spite?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “No, I bought these with my money, thank you very much. Ander’s done enough today.”
“What did he do?”
“He hates my phone so he bought me a new one. I haven’t put my sim card in it yet, I don’t really want to,” I grumbled, pulling the offending device out of my pocket alongside my trusty one. “I don’t even really know how to work this thing.”
“May I?” he asked, waiting for me to hand them over so he could take my sim out and slide it into the new one, turning it on. “You’ve played games and stuff on mine, it’s not too different. This is just a lot newer.”
He showed me a few of the apps since it seemed Ander had taken it upon himself to load a bunch on there for me, and once I was logged into my socials and checked to make sure my contacts were all there, I sighed. “I’m going to need a seriously decent protective case on this thing.”
“Tell Mr. Money Bags to buy you one since it was his idea to give you the phone in the first place,” Logan scoffed.
“I don’t like owing people. You know that.”
“He might not be my favorite person right now, but I promise you his gifts don’t come with strings attached.”
I frowned, turning to look at him. “Why are you annoyed with him?”
He blew out a breath, managing to look embarrassed. “I’m just jealous, that’s all. I saw you kissing him after the fight.”
“Oh,” I said softly, feeling a little guilty for it. I could kiss who I wanted, especially since it was Logan’s fault that it was no longer him I was kissing, but I didn’t want to rub it in his face.
“I’m happy for you though, you know?” he continued, forcing a smile.
“Logan—”
“I mean it. I miss my best friend, and if having girl talk about Lavaro makes you happy, I’ll do it,” he insisted, making me wince.
“That’s a bad idea.”
“No, it’s not. I know it might seem weird, but you can still talk to me about anything. You probably don’t need to, now that you have Beckett, but I’m still here,” he promised.
We wandered the mall for a while, talking about the things he’d been doing with Jett and how it was going for me to be working for Rory.
We browsed in shops that we could never afford, buying a donut each at a cute little stand on our way through to the parking lot, and I hated to admit that I didn’t want him to go just yet.
I kept my mouth shut though as we had a cigarette together before he unlocked his car, pausing to look at me.
“Do you want me to do your hair?”
Logan always did my hair. I didn’t need girlfriends as a teenager, he was more than happy to do girly stuff with me.
“You don’t have to, I can make Zav do it,” I replied, but he gave me a grin.
“C’mon, he fucked it up last time and left a spot. I have the house to myself today, so I can do your hair then I’ll take you home after.”
“Can I drive?” I barely had the words out before he was tossing the keys to me.
I caught them, moving towards the driver’s side and handing him my small bag once he was in the passenger seat. I liked being able to drive, so I didn’t rush, enjoying the trip to Beckett’s.
I parked in the driveway and switched off the engine, handing the keys back to Logan so he could unlock the house. It was strange being here without Beckett, and I almost felt like I shouldn’t have been here.
“I’ll grab you a shirt to wear so you don’t stain your skin,” he said as he started to walk to the bedroom.
“I’ll ruin your shirt instead then.”
“The blue won’t mark the black. It’s fine,” he called as he disappeared, coming back a moment later. I took the shirt and followed him into the bathroom, watching him snag a stool from the kitchen counter on his way.
He turned to give me privacy as I tugged my shirt and bra off, replacing them with his shirt, then I sat on the stool to find he’d already mixed up the dye and had the gloves on ready to go.
It was relaxing as he coated each section of my hair in the dye, making sure the roots were all covered before doing the rest. I could just shut my brain off and let him do his thing.
“Zavier’s working the bar at the Psychos’ Shed tonight,” I said randomly, chewing on my bottom lip. “My biggest fear isn’t that he’ll die at the bar, it’s that he’ll get sucked into gang life.”
Logan didn’t stop what he was doing, focusing on the task at hand.
“Lopez would one hundred percent join the crew, but he never would without you saying it was okay. The last thing he wants to do is freak you out or have you worry about him constantly.”
“Am I a bitch for holding him back from what he wants?” I whispered, his fingers pausing in my hair.
“The only things in this world that he’s ever wanted are his freedom and you. Slash has offered him a spot in the Psychos multiple times, but he’s never hesitated to decline. If he really wanted it, he’d have taken it by now.”
“He’s only saying no because of me. He told me that,” I sighed, meeting Logan’s gaze in the mirror. “Being part of the crew would give him income.”
“It can also bring trouble to his door. We’ve seen what can happen when things go wrong,” he reminded me. “Once he’s in, it’s hard for him to get back out. The Psychos aren’t the type to kill him for leaving, but it’s still a process. If you tell him to go for it out of guilt then freak out and change your mind later, it will get messy. He can’t just leave.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t really found my thing yet, you know? You like working with the kids, Zav likes hands-on kind of shit, Reid likes bossing people around, and I haven’t really figured out what I want yet,” he mumbled, his brow creasing as he thought harder. “I don’t love cars enough to be a mechanic. I’m not qualified for half the hands-on jobs that are legal.”
“You’ll find something eventually. Would you like being a bartender? Surely one of the crews would hire you.”
I hated the idea of him working for the crews too, but bartending as a non-member should be pretty safe.
“There isn’t much around for that either. It’s a lot of late night work too, so a sleep routine would suck,” he sighed, stepping back as he studied my hair. “Done.”
“Thanks for doing it,” I said quietly, giving him a smile.
“Any time. Give me the gossip. You’re dating Ander and Zav?”
“It seems so,” I joked, fiddling with the baggy shirt. “Are you?—”
“No. I’m not looking for anyone,” he said, cutting me off. “You kind of ruined me. Girls? What other girls?”
I rolled my eyes, nudging him. “Usually men like to handle their problems with pussy.”
“Yeah, I know, but those men didn’t lose you, so they don’t get it,” he said seriously, taking the gloves off and clearing the mess.
I didn’t know what to say to that.
Logan
Raven emerged from the shower with blow-dried hair and the scent of my body wash, my dick taking notice instantly. The last thing I needed to do was try to fall into old habits, so I ignored it and gave her a smile.
“It looks good.”
“I feel better,” she admitted, walking over and sitting beside me on the couch. She pulled out her new phone, grumbling about it being overpriced crap as she texted Ander.
Raven: No, Logan’s bringing me back. I’ll let you know when we’re on the way.
Ander: Make sure you do. He’d better walk you to the damn door too.
Raven: You’re a dick. I can walk myself.
Ander: Stop being a brat.
She grumbled again and slid her phone into her pocket, catching me reading the messages.
“He’s paranoid.”
“As he should be. We’re all possible targets right now, Rae. We have to be careful,” I reminded her. “Did you want to leave now, or game a little? Jett has some awesome games.”
“I don’t have other plans.”
I stood and grabbed us both a controller each, sitting back beside her and getting comfortable as the console loaded. Raven chose a game that she’d been wanting to play for a while, and it was like everything bad washed away.
We were just hanging out like we always had, trash talking as we played, and laughing when we killed each other’s character.
Her thigh pressed against mine as she mashed buttons to take me down, and I let her win because I was too focused on watching her.
Jett eventually got home and joined us for an hour before Raven decided she was ready to go home. I knew she wasn’t going to spend the night with me, but it still sucked when she confirmed it.
She left the room to grab her bag of shopping, and Jett raised an eyebrow at me, his voice quiet. “You two seem cozy.”
“I’m just happy she’s talking to me again. I’ll talk to you when I get back,” I said, not wanting her to overhear us.
“I’ll order pizza,” he grinned, grabbing a controller. “Then I’m kicking your ass.”
“Deal,” I laughed, grabbing my keys as Raven returned.
She didn’t ask to drive, and I didn’t offer, both of us sitting in comfortable silence as I drove towards the Heights.
It had been weird sleeping in Ashburn Valley. For starters, nothing woke me up at night.
I kept my eyes peeled for trouble, but no one followed us. It was almost peaceful for once.
“Today was fun,” Raven murmured as we pulled up out front of Ander’s, her eyes flicking over to me.
“It was. We should have another afternoon like that,” I replied, hoping I didn’t sound too damn desperate. If I could get her to spend time with me, maybe I could get her to trust me again.
I made sure to do as Ander said, walking her to the door to make sure no one could snatch her on the way.
Ander opened the door before she could try the handle, and I hated how his whole face softened when he saw her. I was pretty sure he’d never even looked at Blake like that, and he’d been stupidly in love with her.
Maybe not as much as we all thought though.
“Hey, Bluebird. Have fun?” he asked, taking her hand and tugging her inside.
“Yeah. It was a good day,” she answered brightly, turning to face me. “Thank you.”
“You know where I am if you ever want company,” I smiled, forcing myself to say good night and walk back to my car, knowing that Beckett’s house was going to fucking smell like Raven and keep my dick hard all night.
I hoped Jett didn’t want to stay up too late. I needed to jerk off three times and go to bed.