14. Summer
14
SUMMER
“I just want you all to know how happy I’ve been working with you.” Looking around the set, I could barely hold back the emotion swelling in my chest. It made my throat tight and my eyes sting with tears, which I fought to hold back.
This was the last day we’d work with the entire main cast. I didn’t think it would hit me this hard until I was a few minutes away from calling action on our first take of the morning. Danica trotted over to me with her arms outstretched, and one by one, everyone else followed until we were clumped together in one huge group hug.
“Come on,” I continued, laughing a little the way everybody else did. It was time to pump the brakes before we all got emotional. “Places in five.”
Claudia brought me a bottle of water once I was no longer surrounded by the cast. “That was really sweet,” she murmured.
“I didn’t expect that,” I whispered back. “I’m really going to miss this. It just, like, slammed into me when I wasn’t paying attention. I’m going to miss these people.”
“This movie means a lot. You never forget your first time, right?” She winked, then sat down with her phone. “By the way, they just sent the finalized promotional stuff via email.”
“You look at it for me,” I decided, then, of course, immediately pulled out my own phone because I couldn’t wait. But before I could open my email, a text from Lex caught my attention.
Lex: Found this under my pillow this morning.
Attached to the message was a photo of a pale blue thong hanging from Lex’s finger. Looking at the background, it was obvious he took it while in his office. My heart seized for a split second, but I reminded myself there was no way anybody could ever tell it was mine, for one thing. And for another, I doubted he was swinging it around his head, running up and down the hallway.
“Oh, you like it?”
Claudia’s question made me pull my phone against my chest like I was hiding something. “What?”
Her nose wrinkled. “The posters? I thought that’s why you were smiling.”
Right. Because that’s what I was supposed to be doing, Checking out the attachments on that email. “Oh. No. I got sidetracked.”
She slowly arched an eyebrow, eyes narrowing, lips pursing. “Careful.” That was the only thing she said, but it was more than enough. I got the message.
And I was annoyed with myself that she even had to say it. I had no business flirting with the boss in the first place, but especially not while on set. He could send me a message like that, but it didn’t mean I needed to engage. The man was too tempting. He had the power to make me forget everything I cared about.
“Okay, everybody!” I took a seat in my chair behind the monitor. “Let’s have places.” Because I was here to do a job.
One thing was for sure. There was no distracting me while I was filming. Lex could have walked on set completely naked, and I might not have noticed. Could this be my life? Yes, I always planned on making movies. I had known that from childhood, making movies using an old camcorder somebody was going to throw out.
But could I do it here? Or somewhere like here, anyway. Once the movie was finished and took the world by storm because it would, I knew it in my soul—what happened next? If there was one thing I had learned, it was how much nicer it was to create art when there were resources available. Dad would’ve had a field day if he ever heard me say something like that, but it was true. Sure, magic could be created on a shoestring, but it was a hell of a lot more fun if the shoestring was a little thicker and longer.
Was it dangerousto imagine keeping my office at the studio? Not because I thought Lex owed me anything, or I expected preferential treatment since we were sleeping together, but because I was good. I did good work for him, and we worked well together, bizarrely enough. Even our disagreements were fun. My pulse picked up speed at the thought.
Would that be enough to build a future on, though? I wasn’t sure I could go back to shoestring budgets now that a major studio budget had spoiled me.
At noon, I called lunch, then chatted with electricians as they repositioned the lights for the afternoon shoot. All of them had been around the studio for years, decades in some cases. They were like a family, joking, laughing, and working together like they had been at it all their lives.
“Have you always worked here at Landry International?” I asked one of them, a man in his fifties with what could only be described as a glorious mane of silver hair, which he wore in a ponytail when he was working.
“Shit, no,” he drawled, grinning. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m always up for another project here. I’ve been all over the place.”
“What was your favorite job?”
“Oh, I lit the Oscars for a few years.” He scratched the top of his head, then rested his hands on his hips as he thought about it. “I’ve done sports events all over the country. And if you’re lucky, you work with a lot of the same people. You get recommended for stuff, you recommend your friends. It’s like a whole family helping each other out.”
It was corny of me, but the word ‘family’ brought me that same warm, chest-swelling feeling. There was nothing like the feeling of working together on a common goal, understanding each other, or pushing each other to work harder. There were no guarantees in this business. I had no idea if I would ever work again, and the thought was terrifying if I let myself sit with it long enough. Would I ever find this again? Or was this lightning in a bottle a one-time thing?
I headed over to grab myself something to eat from the craft service table, but Claudia intercepted me before I could fill a plate with kale salad. “Can I talk to you for a second?” she whispered, standing practically on top of me.
“You look like you saw a ghost.” And my stomach was growling, which was why I reached for a pair of tongs in the big salad bowl.
She took hold of my wrist and shook her head. “Not exactly, but I did see something you need to know about. Just come here.”
I let her pull me aside, looking around like she was afraid of being noticed. Right away, my thoughts went to Eric. What did he do now? Did he already have a star on the Walk of Fame?
“Don’t freak out.” She watched over my shoulder, nervous, while handing me her phone. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Nothing that looked a lot like photos of Lex and Danica flirting on the lot. “Does Danica have what it takes to tame the playboy?” I whispered, reading the caption beneath the photos. Somebody took them from outside the studio gates, some paparazzi looking for an excuse to start a rumor.
Whoever they were, they had found it. In the photos, Danica was laughing, touching his arm, and at one point, they leaned in like they were sharing a joke. They weren’t even all that close together, but whoever took the pictures and sold them to the highest bidder definitely wanted it to look that way.
“That’s fine,” I said, handing the phone back. But was it? Why was my heart racing? It was a stupid, lazy attempt at stirring up drama. It didn’t mean anything.
And even if it did, I had no right to get upset. That was what happened during casual flings, which Lex and I definitely were. There was nothing serious going on. We were having a good time. He wouldn’t be the first producer to hit on an actress.
But he didn’t. I couldn’t believe he would, and not out of any loyalty to me. That wasn’t how he operated.
“Are you okay?” Claudia asked.
“I’m fine. Really.” So long as I could keep myself from thinking too much about Eric. This wasn’t the same thing, not even close. Not only had Eric literally screwed around on me—more than once, as I found out—we were an actual couple at the time. Committed. At least, I was.
“Do you think she knows about it yet?” Claudia jerked her chin slightly. I didn’t have to look behind me to know she was talking about my lead actress.
“I’m sure her agent told her all about it by now.”
“It’s probably nothing,” she insisted.
When was she going to stop trying to comfort me? “Babe, I’m serious. It’s fine.”
I was grateful my phone buzzed with a call. Instead of letting her answer it, I did once I saw who was calling. He would want to talk to me, after all.
The second I answered, Lex blurted out, “It’s nothing. I have no idea what this is supposed to be about.”
I tried to ignore my relief as I walked the set, adjusting props for lack of anything better to do with my hands and the anxious energy flowing through them. Why was I anxious? I knew he was telling the truth. It was the way he called me immediately that lessened the tension and eased the ache in my heart. “Hey, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?” I asked with an empty laugh as I watched the cast and crew wrap up their lunch break.
“Only if it’s not a bunch of blatantly made-up bullshit. Which it is. I don’t know who the hell these assholes think they are, but they’re gonna get a call from our legal department.” I saw him in my head, pacing his office only yards from where I stood on the soundstage.
Was he sincere? Or was he going overboard trying to prove his innocence? Usually when people did that, they were guilty.
“It’s not all that harmful, though, is it?” I pointed out. “Not that I’m trying to tell you what to do or anything. Whatever you think has to be done.”
He paused for a long beat. “You sure you’re all right? You seem detached.”
“Honestly, there’s a lot to finish today, and I’m a little overwhelmed.” That sounded true enough.
He was right. I was detached. There was nothing to attach myself to. We weren’t together. We were not a couple. The world would never know about us.
But dammit, it would be too easy for everybody to find out, wouldn’t it? That was the problem. There were people outside those gates all the time, sometimes blending in with the rest of the world, sometimes not, always looking to get an edge on their competition. To sell a great photo that would grab attention and spark theories and gossip.
It’d be so easy for that photo to include me unless I was extremely careful. All it would take was getting a little too close to Lex in public, and all of a sudden, I would be in the middle of a love triangle. Something twisted like that.
At the end of the day, this film would eventually wrap, and I’d have to continue with my life. There were no guarantees.
“A long day deserves a little fun in the evening.” Right on schedule, Lex’s voice deepened, heavy with intimacy. “How about you go for a long swim in my pool before I treat you to a massage?”
That sounded nice. Too nice. And it would’ve felt so good to give in because, in the end, that was exactly what I wanted—a night with him, just the two of us. The rest of the world could be left behind for a little while. I didn’t have much more time with him.
But it would always be this way, even if we decided to give ‘us’ a try for real. The paparazzi would always be just outside the gate, waiting for one of us to take the wrong step. Because Danica and Lex weren’t actual people to the public. They were fodder, a commodity.
And there I was, hoping to make a name for myself in the same town.
“You know what? I think tonight is girls’ night.” Lowering my voice like I was telling a secret, I added, “I haven’t been spending a lot of time with Claudia lately. I think she’s a little lonely.”
Was that true? Not really. I did feel like I was neglecting our friendship a little, but she was making friendsandgoing out sometimes to dinners or clubs. She wasn’t sitting around waiting for me to give her something to do in her downtime.
But I had already gone too far with him. It was obvious. That stab of pain when I saw them together in that photo made everything clear. I had to start thinking for myself again, which meant ignoring my body’s needs for a little while, no matter how demanding it was.
“Are you sure you’re not pissed?” he asked.
“Why would I be? Like you said, it was nothing. Besides, I wouldn’t have any right to get all up in my feelings.”
Silence. The kind that only lasted a second or two but felt much, much longer. “Yeah. I see what you mean. I hope the afternoon goes well.”
“Thanks.” That wasn’t the most awkward conversation in history or anything. It definitely wasn’t the most satisfying. I had no right to expect him to give me the answer I now knew I wanted. That I would have a reason to be hurt or offended if he was screwing around with Danica or any other woman.
A girls’ night was definitely what the doctor ordered. The more time I spent away from Lex, the safer I’d be.