Chapter 42
42
Lyra
When the horns sounded with the retreat of the ravagers, Mikkal—steadier from Hilda’s bone tonic—insisted he escort me to the palace before anyone noticed my absence.
Once I was properly placed outside the doors of the healer’s wing, I nudged him forward. “You should let them see to your wound.”
“I am quite well,” he said.
“Then return to your mother and father, before they fear the worst.”
Mikkal hesitated. “Thank you.” He clenched his teeth and stared at the woven rug under his boots. “Thank you, Lyra. I-I am filled with shame, for I do not even know if I was cruel or kind to you while you served in our household.”
I scoffed, exhausted, terrified, hands still coated in blood. “I did not wish for anyone to notice me, Mikkal. If you ignored me, it was my desire.”
“Because you knew, right? You knew you were a melder.”
I nodded.
“So did my brother?” Mikkal winced when the bandage over his wounds caught. “I hope I am as honorable as Kael. I stand with you, Lyra. For how you have defended him, and now me, I will stand with you should you ever need it.”
It was endearing. So young, hardly able to grow a damn whisker on his chin, but Mikkal puffed out his chest, declaring his fealty in such a way that he seemed merely a younger Kael.
With a squeeze to his arm, the boy finally abandoned the wing.
I shoved through the doors, disheartened by the chaos. So many wounded. Panic choked in my throat, fear of whom I might find among the dead being stacked against the far wall.
Long dark hair brushed past me. “Yrsa? Princess, I mean.”
Yrsa spun around, still clad in a thin night shift, tears on her cheeks. Her shoulders slouched in a touch of relief, and in the next breath, the princess threw her arms around my neck.
“Lyra, gods. I was so frightened they’d found you when your room was empty.”
I rubbed her back when she shuddered in a strained sob, one she fought mightily to keep buried.
“Everyone I love was out there,” Yrsa whispered. “Damn Thane slipped out again. What is wrong with the man?”
“The prince was there?”
Yrsa’s chin trembled. “It is like he cannot stand to sit back and not fight. The feckless, bold, stupid fool.”
A smile wanted to crack through my own fears. I understood the feeling of being left behind, and I was beginning to understand how the prince earned his name of Thane the Bold.
“Have you seen any of them?”
The princess pulled away, using the heel of her hand to wipe her cheeks, and nodded. “I know my foolish future husband is alive. He’s boarded up with the king’s healer. The bastard had the audacity to smile and insist he only earned a few superficial wounds, as if that changes anything!” Yrsa’s cheeks flushed. “Emi…Emi is alive, thank the gods. She was talking, but took a deep cut to the ribs, and I don’t…I don’t…” The princess didn’t finish.
I hugged her again. “She will be all right. I will meld a soul bone over her heart if needed.”
Yrsa’s lips twitched in a small smile. “That helps, Lyra. Thank you. I saw your brother over there. He looked well.”
I blew out a breath, burying the snap of guilt for not first searching out Kael. I’d been searching for someone else.
At the sight of Kael standing, gathering his weapon belt, I nearly knocked him to the ground with my embrace.
He grunted. “Good gods, Ly. It is a good thing nothing was at risk of being split open.”
I tilted my head back. “You’re well?”
“I’m fine.”
“Mikkal is all right. He’s a great deal like you, and I think you have become his hero.”
Kael tried to keep stoic, but his smile couldn’t be stopped.
“Have you seen Edvin?” I briefly shared how his boy had gone searching, but I did not say more. Nothing about the brief alliance with the assassin who’d brought the attack.
Kael assured me Edvin was home. He took a hit to the face, but had a great deal of confidence it would scar and Freydis would not be able to look away from her husband’s new ruggedness.
His features fell after a moment. “You should never have been there.”
“I know it was reckless—”
“It was stupid.”
I frowned. “ Reckless as it was, I couldn’t stand doing nothing, not when my craft could’ve been useful.”
I did not make choices for Skul Drek, but I spoke to him in secret. He came to me first. We had somehow fashioned an eerie connection, and it was risking lives I loved.
We fell into a thick silence as herb healers and Stonegate bone crafters worked with bone tonics and herb pastes and draughts for the wounded.
While a mousy woman worked on a gash across Kael’s shoulder, I scanned the nearby nooks. There was a face I didn’t see.
“Kael—”
“I know what you’re going to ask.” He frowned. “Last I saw of Sentry Ashwood, he refused a healer’s touch and abandoned the hall. I doubt the king will allow him in with the prince, so since he is your guard , he very well might be searching for you.”
There was an accusation in his tone, but I did not have the strength, nor desire, to give up any secrets tonight.
“I ought to inform him I’m alive before the palace is under siege with a new search.”
Kael’s mouth tightened. “Right. You’d better.”
“Are you…will you be all right?”
“I’m fine.” He pinched my cheek in the way he used to when we were young, all to irritate me. “Go.”
I kissed the side of his head, but felt his gaze on my neck with each step from the healer’s wing.
My chamber was free of the Sentry, but more than one Stav Guard stood watch outside the door. I kept low, never giving up they guarded an empty room.
After searching the great hall, the gardens, and the sparring field, I found my first glimpse of Roark Ashwood on the balcony of his chamber. Moonlight kissed his bare shoulders, and he was inspecting something on his waist.
Without signaling I was there, I entered the Stav Wing.
Rooms were bare. Few guards were in their beds, most still under the care of healers or too much ale in other rooms of the fortress. I slipped into the stairwell, winding around the tower, until I reached the upper floors where officers and the Sentry kept their personal rooms.
Roark’s door was unlocked. I snorted. For a man who was on the brink of drawing a blade at the slightest threat, he was rather unconcerned with his own security.
As the Sentry he had a small sitting room with a hearth, a table, and fur-covered benches. I paused at the table and looked at the scatter of books on the surface. Lore and myths and a few children’s tales with painted pages. My lips curled. All his violence and Roark read tales of heroes and villains and quests of the gods.
One hand covered my mouth when I stepped into his bedchamber.
The bed was unkempt and smelled of the fresh rain and oakmoss of his skin. A wardrobe was opened, and inside his uniforms and tunics and cloaks were arranged neatly, but that was the extent of it. In one corner were pairs of sloughed-off boots and a few unsheathed blades.
Roark was collected and pulled taut in the face of everyone, but here, he could simply be; he was free to be messy and at ease.
He was a beautiful conundrum.
I leaned against the door of the balcony. He was tending to a wound on his side. A discolored gash that looked almost dead around the edges, but if there had been a great deal of blood, it had stopped flowing.
His hair was glistening and damp. His skin had more than one bruise, but looked freshly scrubbed. His trousers were without a belt, and hung seductively low on his hips, revealing the two dimples on his lower back.
The man was a sight I never anticipated needing.
I knocked on the edge of the doorway. He spun around with a start.
“Good to see you alive, Sentry.” My voice was strained, heavy with emotion.
Roark had my face trapped in his palms in a breath, and in the next, his mouth was on mine.
Unexpected, but welcome. For a moment I forgot about battle, blood, and assassins.
I dug my hand into his hair, and water from the wash slickened my fingers when I tugged at the roots. A low moan rumbled into his kiss. He parted my lips with his tongue, greedy and possessive. He claimed me, marking me with his mouth, his teeth, his hands.
When he dipped his chin to break the kiss, he pressed his forehead to mine, our breaths tangling.
Roark lifted a hand. You were missing .
“I was looking for you.” I traced the edge of his lip. “ You were missing.”
His eyes brightened with a new heat that was frightening and intoxicating all at once.
You went to town, Lyra .
“You saw?”
I was told. Then I could not find you . Roark shook his head, letting his hand drop to his side.
Tears burned. I blinked them away. “I couldn’t stay. Not…not after what happened. Watching you go, watching everyone go, I couldn’t stay because…”
How was I to explain any of it? Would Roark think me mad? He was hateful at our first meet; to return to indifference and duty felt like a dreary feat I didn’t want to risk.
He tilted my chin, forcing me to look at him. Tears? What must I do to return them to your eyes?
Emotion, fear, and unknowns I’d kept buried broke. My forehead dropped to his chest, against the even beat of his heart. Silent sobs shuddered down my spine. Roark tightened his embrace, holding me close to his body.
He did not try to speak. He let me stumble, and caught me in the end.
“I don’t know how to explain any of it.”
Roark slipped his fingers through mine, and led me into his disordered room. If he had any embarrassment he didn’t let on, merely sat me on the edge of his bed, and lowered to a crouch in front of me. He opened his hand, signaling for me to speak.
A tear landed on my cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb. “There…was a reason Skul Drek was in my chamber. It was not our first interaction.”
I chose my words carefully and described what happened whenever I melded, of the hunt for the Wanderer’s bones. I told him how the assassin insisted there were four pieces to the armor buried across the lands. Perhaps one was here. Roark listened as I described the roar of craft, even while melding a fealty shard. I told him of the rotted mirror land, the cold and shadows, the moments when the phantom of Skul Drek appeared.
I used the heel of my hand to wipe another rogue tear away. “I don’t know if he is man or illusion, but he has power. I cannot help but shoulder the blame of what happened tonight. I killed a man with Skul Drek, Roark. Gods, what you must think of me.”
Roark shook his head, lifting my hand and pressing a kiss into the center of my palm, before he replied. You survived. Nothing more .
I scoffed. “Roark, I knew he could attack. Whenever there is a soul bone taken, he will take a soul in its place. He will kill. I should’ve taken the threat with more care.”
Roark placed both his palms on my thighs, gently rubbing them, and I told of my part in the death of the Berserkir.
“I broke him apart.” My voice trembled, but I bit back any more tears. “Instead of fighting Skul Drek, I helped him kill one of our own.”
Roark rose to his feet and drove his fingers through his hair. He shook his head. I despise soul bones .
It wasn’t the response I expected. Truth be told, I considered his devotion to his duty as Sentry might’ve overshadowed any feelings he’d developed for me. I wondered if he would drag me off to confess before the king.
I tangled my fingers in my lap. “Is that why you refuse to be melded?”
The power alters a living soul . Roark kicked at the leg of the wardrobe and kept pacing, his gestures frantic with anger. They corrupt, Lyra. Sometimes they amplify goodness if the fallen soul had strong honor, but if the soul lived in darkness, the new soul grows hateful. They become King Damir’s monsters .
The Berserkir was prepared to slaughter a child. He’d practically beamed at the sight of little Krisjan, helpless and vulnerable.
“But Prince Thane isn’t all that changed.”
I tried to choose a bone that did not feel heavy with hate. But it was still a risk. Same with Darkwin. I selected carefully.
“You can sense a soul?”
He closed his eyes. Must be the Draven in me . I’ve learned to listen to the power inside . Roark knocked his fist against his wall, summoning my gaze. You saved that boy.
“But I am drawn to a killer, Roark.” I covered my face with my palms. “I don’t fear him like I should. There is something that’s connected us. There is something I trust in him.”
Gods, to speak the truth out loud was horrifying.
The rough heat of Roark’s hands tugged my palms back, letting them fall, so he could speak. Blame is not on your shoulders tonight.
“No need to mollycoddle me—”
Roark cut me off by squeezing my hand twice. The gates were unlocked from within.
My heart stuttered. “What?”
Roark nodded and sat beside me on the bed. Ravagers were welcomed inside to destroy the union of kingdoms, or take you. Likely both. We were betrayed. Another reason I want to rage at you for leaving your damn chamber .
They were welcomed inside the gates. By the gods. There were traitors inside our walls. “Stonegate is no longer safe.”
I won’t let anyone touch you. He cupped the back of my neck, and his thumb ran over the front of my throat. Roark’s gaze seared into me, branded me deeper than the burn in my chest. His fingers brushed against my cheek, speaking words I could understand now through touch alone. Stay.
Everything slowed, and my body went liquid with heat. “What if someone thinks I’ve gone missing when I don’t return to my chamber?”
I’ll tell them you are under my watch tonight .
“Full of lies, Sentry Ashwood.”
His grin was a shade of wicked. Stay .
I dragged my tongue over the rim of my bottom lip. “All right.”
He left the room for a moment, delivering word the melder was safe with the Sentry to one of the men under his command. When he returned, Roark closed the door to the front room, clicking the lock in place.
Nerves coiled in my belly when Roark’s fingertips traced the sides of my arms. His body crowded me; I leaned into him, letting my head fall back against his shoulder.
With one hand, Roark unraveled the laces of my bodice. He pushed the shoulders of my gown aside, letting it fall indecently low until my breasts were nearly bared. I shuddered when his teeth scraped down the slope of my neck.
Over my heart, he gestured. Do I stop?
Slow swirls of his fingertips teased the swell of my breasts as his lips caressed my bare shoulder.
“No,” I said, breathless and needy. I combed my fingers through his hair. “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”
Roark let out a rough breath when my hands trailed down the flat planes of his stomach, memorizing the divots, the curves of muscle.
I paused at the gash in his side. “Are you well or should I stop, Sentry?”
He gripped my chin, answering with a bruising kiss.
I whimpered when Roark frantically slid my gown down, so it settled around my hips.
He kissed over my heart, the side of one breast, my navel, until he settled on his knees, pushing my skirt over my knees where the top bodice was bunched around my middle. Roark dragged his teeth along my inner thigh, rolling his eyes up to meet mine.
You have me on my knees, what should we do about this?
My core ached. “Make good on that promise, Roark Ashwood, and kiss me.”
With a beautifully vicious grin, Roark pressed a hand on my middle, guiding me to sit on the edge of the table. With one heated look, he draped my knees over his shoulders and ran his tongue over me between my thighs. I could not draw in a breath. The cautious life, the safety I’d always craved, shattered beneath his kiss, the rough grip of his hands on my thighs.
In this moment I did not want caution. I wanted passion and madness and desire that could be relieved only by his hands, his kiss. I let my knees fall open, my heels digging into his upper back. Roark followed his tongue with his fingers, drawing me to the jagged edge too soon.
I grasped at his hair, my head falling back. “Roark.”
The sound of his name spurred him on. He gripped my hips, holding me steady as he deepened his kiss and nipped at the sensitive flesh of my core.
I sucked in a sharp gasp when Roark flattened his tongue, drawing deeper; my thighs trembled around his head. Unable to stop, I bucked against his mouth, lost in a delirious haze.
Tap, tap, tap. His gentle claim struck my thigh.
My hips writhed under his vicious kiss. Need and desire coiled low in my belly, spilling through my core with every shift of his face to reach a new angle, with every groan he breathed over my soaked core.
He added his fingers, curling them, pressing his thumb against the sensitive apex between my thighs.
“Don’t stop.” I let out a strangled rasp when Roark swirled his thumb in a new direction.
Sobs of his name came out in rough pants. Roark gripped my thighs, his fingertips digging into my flesh. By the gods, I never wanted him to let go.
My head snapped back when he sucked harder. Another sharp gasp, another shudder, and my body went rigid as the taut pressure snapped.
His name came out in a strangled cry from deep in my chest.
Roark kissed his way up my stomach, his mouth swollen and glistening when he found my lips. He hooked my legs around his waist and carried me to his bed. My skin felt overheated, my head a fog. He made quick work of peeling my dress off my hips and tossing it aside.
Next, Roark fumbled with his belt until he shucked off his trousers. His cock sprang free, thick and strained.
I couldn’t breathe. The blaze of desire in his eyes left me wanting to bare everything, to never leave this bed until he’d claimed every piece of me. Roark reared over me, palms beside my head. Our noses grazed, lips parted, and for a moment we hovered close to each other, sharing breath.
“I-I’ve never…” Words ran dry, and I looked away.
Roark tilted my chin, nudging my gaze back to his. He shook his head, brow arched in a question.
I dragged my knuckles down his cheek. “But there is nowhere I want to be other than right here.”
I don’t want to hurt you .
“You won’t.”
One of his palms slid between the cleft of my breasts. Roark held my gaze and tapped his palm three times, then with care took my hand and placed it over his own chest.
Emotion knotted in my throat. His. Mine. He was claiming my heart and giving me his.
I stroked my fingers down his cheek. “I want you.”
He swallowed, and I followed the motion of it down his throat. He held a hand over my face. All of me?
Vulnerability lined his face. For a moment the stoic Sentry was a man who’d cracked open his chest for acceptance or ruin.
I clasped his face and nodded. “All of you.”
I drew his mouth to mine and kissed him, deeper, firmer. As though to prove how he’d somehow come to consume every piece of my heart.
Roark palmed one breast. I moaned into his mouth and arched against his touch. He pinched the hardened nipple, tugging and twisting. I clawed at his shoulders and let my knees part when he settled his hips between my legs.
Roark’s tongue circled the peak. His teeth, his lips, his mouth dragged breathless pants from my throat and he’d yet to fill me. I slid my palms down the muscles of his back, down every divot of bone along his spine. I dug into the curves of his ass, yanking his hips against the throbbing heat between my legs.
His voice came in soft, breathy sounds, but there was a roughness to the grunt he breathed against my skin.
He lifted his head, eyes dark with desire. You are making it hard to be gentle .
I nipped at his bottom lip. “Then don’t be.”
True to his word, Roark crashed his mouth back to mine, rough, needy, desperate. The Sentry was intent to worship my mouth, his hands laid claim to my body, and the hard length of his cock rubbed against my slit.
Gods, I wanted him to devour me.
I slid my hand down his stomach and wrapped my palm around his length, hard and warm.
My thumb ran along the pulsing vein on the underside. Roark’s brow furrowed with pleasure. He dropped his head to my shoulder, kissing the curve of my neck as I touched him. Free of the title of Sentry, of rescued Draven, of Death Bringer. In this moment, he could be worshiped as a man, as a lover.
His hands trembled when he took hold of my wrist with one and spoke with the other. I will come in your hand .
“Then let go, Roark,” I said in a breath.
He shook his head and pulled my hand away, a new beautifully dark grin on his lips. Inside you .
Gods. I did not hear his voice, but he still managed to speak the most sensual, commanding words I had ever known. He gave me no time to prepare before the tip of his cock eased into my core.
He held me close through the snap of pain, one palm curling around my head when I arched up. My fingers dug into his skin, deep enough they’d leave marks. Roark didn’t move for a breath, then gently eased my knees farther open, until he was inside me from tip to hilt.
We moaned in unison, both in pleasure and with a sting of pain. For a long pause we stayed there, filling each other to the brink, then slowly he rocked his hips. The more he moved, the more the sting shifted to something else.
My body responded and matched his pace. He deepened his movements, rendering me breathless. Roark’s mouth went to my throat. He laced one hand with mine, the other slid between us, finding that pulsing spot between my thighs with his thumb.
I moaned his name, unable to form a coherent thought.
My body tightened. A roll of blood and heat began in my toes and flowed upward until it filled my head with a delicious fog. I cried out as my release flooded my veins. It didn’t stop.
“Roark…” All I could do was dig at his back, try to find purchase as my body burned for more of him.
He rolled his hips and hooked one of my legs around his waist, deepening his angle. In another breath, Roark stilled over me. His breaths were rapid and warm against my neck. His cock twitched and the heat of his release spilled into me, pulse after pulse.
When it ended, Roark pressed slow kisses down my throat. Sweat dampened his forehead. He lifted his hand, but didn’t speak, tracing the lines of my nose, my lips. Each touch he followed with tender kisses.
After a moment, he stepped into the washroom, returning with a clean linen. Roark cared for me, sweetly kissing me while he washed and soothed between my legs.
When he finished, Roark rolled onto his back and pulled me close.
I draped a leg over his waist. Roark held my head to his chest, his slow fingertips drawing circles over my shoulders and back until my eyes grew heavy.
For the first time since arriving at Stonegate, I breathed in pure, unadulterated contentment. I let my lashes flutter closed. Roark pressed a kiss to my brow, and mouthed words I didn’t catch before I fell into the peace of sleep.