21. 21
21
LYLA
K issing Parker has become my favorite pastime, and I can’t get enough of him. This week has been filled with flirtatious touches, stolen kisses, and lust filled make out sessions. My soul aches whenever we part and I spend sleepless nights in my own bed. I haven’t slept over at his place yet, and he hasn’t spent the night here either. We’re taking things slow, and being in bed beside that absolutely gorgeous man would be too tempting. Heat flares in my cheeks as I think about all the things I want to do with him, to him, on him.
“Lyla?”
I blink up at Cassie, breaking away from my thoughts. She eyes me suspiciously and I know she’s been dying to ask about why Parker and I are spending even more time together. She hasn’t had a chance to grill me on it yet with her working so much, but I know she can tell there has been a shift since last weekend.
“Earth to Lyla!”
I laugh. “Sorry, my head is somewhere in the clouds today. What were you saying?”
“I was saying that Cara should be here soon. You mind helping me bring the food to the coffee table”
I get up from my spot on the couch and begin assisting Cassie with transporting our feast to the living room. I know she loves cooking and creating meals, but she’s really outdone herself this time. She made a giant charcuterie board, with jams and other spreads on the side, and a fresh loaf of bread from the bakery in town. It truly looks like something out of a magazine and I admire her patience for putting something so beautiful together.
“It looks great, Cass,” I say. “Why don’t you do this for a living? I’m sure people in town would pay for you to make a board or do other catering.”
She looks down at her creation and smiles. “I really do love it. It’s my dream to cater one day, but I need to save my money to buy a space in town. Dean has been helping me scout out some properties that he owns, but even with him cutting me a deal, it’s going to be tight.”
“Well,” I muse. “Maybe you’ll marry a man with money and be able to live out your wildest dreams.” I shoot her a wink and we both laugh.
“Yeah,” she scoffs, “The day I settle down, make sure you look out for flying pigs.”
We burst into a fit of laughter. I know Cassie has an aversion to men and I honestly can’t imagine the type of guy that would change her opinion on the matter.
There’s a knock at the door and we hear Cara yell, “Stop having so much fun in there without me!”
This causes us to break out into another round of laughter as we make our way to the door to let her in. We open it and she comes in with a big smile on her face. Cassie and I look at each other before squealing.
“You got in, didn’t you?”
Cara bites her lip, trying to contain her excitement before screaming, “Yes!”
We all jump up and down and do a group hug, congratulating Cara on her accomplishment. A few weeks ago, she bit the bullet and applied to take courses online. She wanted to get a proper Bachelor of Arts before pursuing writing full time, because in typical Cara fashion, she has to be prepared and know what she was doing.
“I’m so happy for you.” I gush.
“You’re going to be the best romance author, Car,” Cassie states.
A blush rises to Cara’s face, as she’s never comfortable with praise from others.
“Wylder said he’s going to buy the first hundred copies of my debut novel.” She grimaces. “And I don’t think he’s joking. How do you tell your brother not to read your smutty book?”
“He’s probably done more outrageous things than what will be in your book, sweetie.” Cassie pats her on the shoulder.
“Ew!” Cara exclaims. “Please do not talk about my brother’s sex life to me.”
“I’m just saying. Also, did you see that blond he was pictured with the last few times? Your brother definitely has a type.”
Cara rolls her eyes. “Yeah, that’s Lacey. She’s definitely with him for the perks of being a musician’s girlfriend.”
Cassie and I share a bewildered look. It’s very unlike Cara to speak badly about anyone.
“Wow, you must hate the bitch.” Cassie voices my own thought.
Cara grinds her teeth and says, “She’s gotten him into trouble more than once, and he barely calls me anymore. I’m worried about him.”
Cassie gives her a hug. “I know, I’ve seen some of the articles.”
“What articles?” I ask.
Cara sniffles, holding back tears as she pulls away from Cassie’s embrace.
“He’s been seen out partying a lot and everyone is speculating that his erratic behavior lately is due to drug use.” She hangs her head at the admission.
“Wow, I’m sorry Cara. I had no idea that was going on right now.” I admit .
“It’s okay.” She squeezes my shoulder. “I haven’t talked about it much. I’ve been asking him if he’s okay and he gets so defensive and says that he’s fine. I wish he would just talk to me, or anyone, really.”
Cassie and I nod, and Cara claps her hands together. “Okay, enough of that. Girls’ night commences now!”
We spend the night talking and catching up with one another. All three of us have been pretty busy lately, so it’s nice to sit around and chat with them. As the night wears on, I come to the realization that I’ve found better friends in a matter of months than I’ve had my entire life. Cassie is fearless, wild, and outspoken. Cara is quiet, reserved, and incredibly kind. I’m so thankful for both of them and I become overwhelmed with emotion. As tears well in my eyes, Cassie groans.
“Oh no, why the tears? Do I have to kick someone’s ass?”
I let out a throaty chuckle. “No, no. I was just thinking about how lucky I am to know you both.”
Cara gives me a soft smile and grasps my hand, while Cassie beams.
“Damn right, bitch. And there’s no getting rid of us now!”
She suddenly leaps on top of me and gives me a giant hug and we giggle as we embrace. After a moment, she pulls away and sits upright, drastically changing her demeanor to business mode.
“Now, tell me you’re climbing that man like a tree by now, Lyla.”
I’d just grabbed my wine off the table and taken a sip, so I choke when the words come out of her mouth. I frantically wipe the wine from my chin and Cara hands me a napkin.
As I work on cleaning up, I say, “I have no idea what you’re referring to.”
My two friends exchange a look before Cassie huffs out a sigh.
“Look, I know you always insist that you’re just friends. But…”
“But? ”
“But it’s so obvious that something happened. Now spill.”
I inwardly groan and curse Parker for constantly giving me his best ‘fuck me’ eyes, but I know I’ve been doing the same. So I take one more sip of wine and brace myself.
“Okay, we kissed. More than once. It’s been all week.” I put my face in my hands and mumble, “We’re seeing where it goes.”
Silence stretches and I finally look up to see the two of them grinning ear to ear.
“Hells to the yes, babe!” Cassie pumps her fist into the air. “I knew it!”
“That’s great, Lyla,” Cara says with a genuine smile on her face.
I laugh. “Now we just need to set the two of you up with some guys. Or girls. No judgment.”
Cassie grimaces and fake gags, while Cara looks down at her hands and looks incredibly sad at the mention of dating. I reach out and grasp her hands to keep them from continuously wringing together nervously and her gaze slowly reaches mine. Cassie scoots closer to us as well and places a hand on top of mine.
“I know, hun,” Cassie mutters sadly. “Dean is the only guy you’ve ever loved, and I love him, but he wasted his chance.”
Cara’s eyes fill with tears before overflowing down her cheeks. A sob escapes her and we maneuver around until she’s wrapped in a second bear hug of the night.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffles. “It’s just so hard. I still see him all the time and it rips open the wound every time. It’s been five years and I still can’t seem to move past it. Everywhere I go, there’s a memory of Dean. We were best friends growing up and then we were a couple and completely inseparable. Then his dad passed away and he was just… existing. He was a ghost of himself and I tried so hard to get him out of it but he flipped out and broke up with me.
“We even talked about it a year ago and he said he was going through a hard time and he didn’t mean for me to be collateral damage. Yet, he still doesn’t want to get back together,” she sighs.
“I mean, he hasn’t dated anyone since you. And I see the way he looks at you, Car. There’s still something there,” Cassie insists.
Cara sniffles again and wipes her tears savagely. “Absolutely not. Plus, if he wanted me, he could have had me. He chose to live this rich bachelor life once his dad passed and that’s not the Dean I knew.”
Cassie and I nod, letting it go.
“I know you’ll find someone amazing someday, just like this one.” I gesture to Cassie with a mischievous look.
She snorts. “I’ll tell you what, Car. Once I find someone, you have to find someone, too. That gives you plenty of time since I’m chronically single.”
Cara giggles, “Deal.”
Excitement thrums through me as I wait for Parker to pick me up for our tattoo appointment. Sure, I’m nervous. I’ve never gotten a tattoo and I’m honestly not sure what to expect, but I want to cover these scars. They serve as a constant reminder that I wasn’t loved, I wasn’t strong, and I feel a pain in my chest every time I look at them. Having a physical reminder of all I had suffered is difficult and it’s triggering to look down at my brutalized forearm. I had been considering this tattoo for my entire adult life.
It’s like I was waiting for Parker to lend me strength.
Since this man walked into my life, I’ve felt more free than I ever have. I still have nightmares, but they’re fewer and farther between. I still feel myself holding back pieces of myself, but I’ve opened up to him more than I have with anyone. I know there’s a long way to go with healing, but with Parker by my side, it feels infinitely easier to bear. Having someone who I can talk to and who supports me is making a world of difference and I truly feel courageous and ready to tackle this head on.
I walk down the stairs and out the back door where Parker’s truck idles, waiting for me. I hop into the passenger seat and clip my seatbelt into place before turning to him.
“Hi.”
“Hey, sweetheart. You ready for this?”
“Absolutely.” I look down at my bare forearms, my fingers brushing over the scars on my right one.
The cab of the truck is silent as we drive to Theo’s and I decide to give this man another little piece of me.
“He picked my right one on purpose.”
Parker doesn’t look away from the road, but I see his grip on the steering wheel tighten and his knuckles turn white. He grinds his teeth and I can feel him seething beside me.
“Why?”
I pause before cracking open my own heart. “So I couldn’t draw. My right hand is dominant.”
“Fuck.” Parker growls. “God, Lyla. I could just kill him for what he did to you.”
“He’s not even worth the jail time.” I let out a dark chuckle before I sigh. “He never wanted to be a father. I wasn’t planned. Where my mom tried to embrace the change and motherhood, my dad—well, he resented me for changing his life. I made it more difficult, he said. I was a huge burden and I remember just wishing I would disappear from existence.”
Parker continues gripping the wheel with a vengeance.
“He has no idea what he’s missing out on,” he says before reaching over. He laces our fingers together and pulls me forward until his lips gently kiss the top of my hand and butterflies assault my stomach.
We drive for a few minutes before turning into Theo’s neighborhood. He lives in the suburban part of Emerald Falls with his daughter, Aubrey. He runs his tattoo parlor out of his basement, and is apparently very talented. We pull into the driveway and Parker puts the truck in park before turning to face me, all the while keeping a grip on my hand .
“You brought the sketches for him?”
I nod and lift the pad out of my purse. “Got it.”
He jumps out of the truck and rounds the front, opening my door as usual.
“I told Theo about us. I hope that’s okay.”
A grin grows on my face as I turn to face him. “It’s fine, because I may have told Cassie and Cara last weekend at girls’ night.”
He smiles and reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Is that so?”
The way he’s looking at me has me squeezing my thighs together as I reply, “Yes.”
“Good, because you’re mine, and I want everyone to know.”
My brows shoot up. Did I hear him correctly?
“You want to tell people we’re together?”
He nods. “You’ve consumed my thoughts ever since I met you, and I want you to be mine.”
“I thought you hated me when we met,” I say breathlessly.
“I did, but that was because I didn’t know you, Lyla. Now, I see you. I see every part of you, even the parts you try not to share. And I couldn’t hate you after knowing your heart. So please, tell me you’re mine. Make me insanely happy and tell me you want me as much as I want you.”
Without hesitation, I whisper, “Yes.” I look into his eyes, into the depths of him. “I’m yours.”
His mouth captures mine and I startle before melting into him. He grabs my face with both hands, crushing my lips to his as he slips his tongue inside, which elicits a groan from both of us. I wrap my arms around him and pull on the hair at the nape of his neck, growing more frantic with every kiss, every swipe of our tongues, every bite of a lip.
“Get a room!” Someone hollers.
We break apart and my fingers glide over my swollen lips as we look sheepishly at Theo, who’s currently beaming at us .
“Whenever you two are done pawing at each other like animals, I’ll be in the basement.”
He turns back and makes his way into the house and Parker and I share a look before bursting into a fit of laughter.