Chapter Eleven
Chapter
Eleven
Brooke set the coffee down in front of her
sister-in-law and wondered if Bay and Shane were already riding the fences.
They’d been out of bed before she woke up, and the night before had been
weirdly tense when they’d gotten home and settled Rachel into the guest
bedroom.
Bay and Shane had been weird. Not with her. They were sweet
and affectionate and made sure Rachel had everything she needed. But she’d felt
the tension.
They hadn’t even tried to get in her pants, and she worried
it had something to do with what was said the night before. Did Shane not feel
the same way Bay did? When Bay said what he had about how they felt about her,
had Shane been upset?
Rachel looked down at the coffee. “Do you know how long it’s
been since I sat in the quiet and enjoyed a cup of coffee?”
She felt for her sister-in-law. She settled in across from
her. The foreman’s house was cozy, with three bedrooms and a nice-sized
kitchen. “Well, I think this coffee is excellent. Beth stocks it for Trev, and
she sent some over. You know Trev is made of caffeine, right? At least that’s
what Beth says. So this coffee is truly fine.”
Rachel’s lips turned up faintly, and she brought it to her
lips. She took a sip and her eyes closed. “Yes, it is.”
Brooke tasted the rich roast and sighed. “It’s ready before
I wake up. Did you get any sleep?”
“Is it wrong to say I slept better than I have in a long
time?” Her sister-in-law sat back, and her gaze went to the big windows that
showed the expansive ranch. “Ethan is teething, and Max and Rye are trying to
expand the business, which means they’re gone a lot of the time. They’ve been
making excellent money with breeding, but it requires them to be on the road a
lot. Paige is about to be out of school for the summer, so I’m going to have
three kids and this pregnancy to deal with, and now I wonder who the hell your
brother is.”
She knew who Rachel was talking about, and for once it
wasn’t Max. “Rye feels the need to be in control. He has to be the responsible
one. Not that Max isn’t, but he can let things go that maybe he shouldn’t. Rye
can’t do that. When our mom died and our dad walked away, Rye took on the task
of getting a job that had hourly requirements while Max took care of the
business. Do you think Rye wouldn’t have preferred the other? I assure you he
did, but when times got tough, Rye was the one who
stepped up. And Max took care of all the stuff like making sure both Rye and I
were ready for work or school. I often wonder if we would have survived if one
of my brothers hadn’t stayed. They’re not capable of functioning without each
other.”
Rachel nodded. “Oh, I know. They’re halves of a whole.”
Bay and Shane were the same. Did Shane understand how
important he was? Or did he think he was nothing more than the guy who did the
mundane tasks? Did Bay understand that he brought more to the table than
artistic genius? “How do you handle it?”
“I don’t know that I am right now.” Rachel put her coffee
down. “I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I’m anxious. I’m also feeling shame because I
know they’re trying. I’m going to love this baby, but I thought we were done,
and I don’t blame Max. I knew he was scared about the procedure and I still
slept with him, still let myself get lost and didn’t think about anything but
feeling sexy and young again. You know when I talked about the pond last
night?”
“Yep. It was too much information, but then there was a lot
of that, and some of it was from me, so I think we should go with it,” Brooke
replied.
Rachel put a hand on her barely-there belly. “I know where
this one was conceived and exactly who his bio dad is. I went out to that pond
for some peace and quiet and then Max showed up and it was like that first time
all over. I didn’t think. I only wanted to feel that way again.”
“Rachel, you’re not old.”
“Maybe not,” her sister-in-law allowed. “I guess the better
way to put it was I wanted to feel like something other than a mom. I sound
terrible. I love my kids.”
“Of course you do.” Tears pierced her eyes, and she reached
out for her sister. “Have you talked to them about it? How you feel?”
“Have I told my husbands how
unhappy I am with the current state of affairs? No. I don’t want them to know.
I’m supposed to be happy. Everything is supposed to work. We love each other.
That’s supposed to be enough.”
Brooke squeezed her hand. “Damn, I think I’ve been around
Logan enough that I know what to say to you. Rachel, the story didn’t end when
you said I do. It started there. You can’t have four kids in seven
years without a whole lot of change, and change requires one thing.
Communication. What if Max and Rye are feeling the same thing but it’s coming
out in different ways?”
Rachel’s brows rose. “What do you mean?”
“I mean for you it’s anxiety. You feel the disconnect. You
feel like you’ve become nothing more than a mom, and the wife part is about
service instead of intimacy. I bet they feel it, too.” Brooke groaned as a
couple of hard revelations hit her. “Damn it. When Rye feels anxious, he tries
to control things. He feels like if he’s in control, he can handle it. But he
won’t ask for help. And what is something he can try to control?”
“You. Or at least the world around you,” Rachel said. “Max
is worried about money. I told him I didn’t think we needed to worry, but we
can’t always go to Stef.”
“Yes, you can. I assure you, you can.” Stef had more money
than he would ever know how to spend. His money made money at this point, and
her brothers and Callie were Stef’s family. No one would question Stef
investing in his brothers’ business. Any more than they asked why he sponsored
artists from time to time. Stef might never have been a starving artist
himself, but he cared about them.
Would Stef be interested if she started her own business? Or
maybe wanted to invest in helping her change things up?
“They’re worried about paying for college for four kids.”
Rachel sighed and sat back. “I’m worried about having four kids under the age
of eight. I need to admit something to you.”
Brooke already knew. “You were excited I was coming because
I would babysit for you, and having me in a tiny house of my own on the
property would make that super easy. Especially since I didn’t have a boyfriend
and my job was in shambles.”
“I didn’t know about the job. I thought you would come for a
nice long visit.”
“I’m not upset about that. I love my niece and my nephews,
and I will help you out. I’m pretty sure that’s why Beth offered up this
place.”
Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, I believe so.”
Oh, she did not want to start a range war between those two.
Beth wouldn’t be able to handle it. She was sweet, and while she had grown in
confidence, she wasn’t ready for Rachel’s fury. “She’s got three kids, too, and
Hope is having a hard time with nausea.”
Rachel’s expression softened. “Damn, I didn’t think about
that. See, I’m being selfish.”
“Admitting how you feel isn’t selfish. You’re under a lot of
pressure, and you think you’re letting Max and Rye down by not being happy
about the current arrangements. But they’re worried, too. My brothers love you.
You are the sun in the sky to them, and they would never want to hurt you. Talk
to them. I can watch the kids for a night or two.”
“Maybe you could even switch houses.” That had come from the
window. The open window. Beth McNamara-O’Malley stopped in front of it, and she
was holding a big basket. “Rachel, you have a delivery, and I apparently should
make an apology.”
She moved to the front door, and Brooke went to greet her,
Rachel following behind. Now she could see there was a basket and a lovely
bouquet. A dozen red roses. It looked like her brothers were going all out.
Beth was a petite woman with long brown and gold hair and a
sweet face. “I think they included every snack food known to man.”
Rachel sniffled and took the basket as Beth set the flowers
on the bar. “That’s so sweet of them. I’m surprised they’re not on the doorstep
demanding I come home.”
“Max dropped it off and asked me to look out for you while
you rest. He said there’s a note in the basket,” Beth explained. “Rachel, I’m
so sorry. I didn’t realize you were struggling, but I should have. With Nell
pregnant and Callie taking fertility treatments, you can’t count on them the
way you could. I know Jen’s been working on the school and trying to convince
Stef to have another kid. I was thinking of myself, though you should know I
love the hell out of those boys and I always would have offered them the
house.”
Rachel wiped a couple of tears and offered Beth a hug. “I’m
glad they have you because I think Brooke needs this place for a little while.”
Her work here was at least halfway done. Though it sucked
that she probably had to forgive her brother.
Beth stepped back. She was dressed in overalls and looked
ready for a day of installing dry wall or chinking a cabin. “She’s welcome for
however long she needs. Honestly, I know Trev and Jamie were kind of hoping
they would take a bigger role here. Bo is the nominal foreman, but he wants to
have more time to spend with the kids and us. I guess offering this place is
kind of an incentive to stay around. I know they like to roam.”
But did they? Oh, now that she thought about it, maybe Shane
wasn’t irritated with Bay’s declaration of…longing, wanting? Bay had kind of
accused him of lying about the reasons they left Kingman Ranch.
Had he liked it there? Had a girl there? Had Bay been
irritated at having to leave her behind? What if it had started to get serious
and that was why Shane had decided to escape in the middle of the night.
She let that thought go. If Bay had a girl there, he would
have mentioned it because he didn’t lie well. He tended to say whatever was on
his mind, and that meant she took what he said at face value.