Chapter Eleven #4
“I love Brooke. I’ve loved her from the minute I met her. But I don’t know that
I’m good enough for her.”
“No one is good enough for Brooke.” Max’s lips curled up in
a sad sort of smile. “Sorry, but I remember her as a kid who looked up to me
and asked me to tuck her into bed and look for monsters under her bed, and now
she’s got to deal with the fact that the world can grind you down, and she’s
doing it all alone. We built that house because we hoped she would come home
one day. But not like this.”
“I think she feels that. I know you’re not saying you’re
disappointed with her, but you are disappointed, and she can feel it. And I’m
saying this knowing it’ll probably hurt me in the end because you fighting
means she spends more time with us, but the truth of the matter is I want her
to be happy more than I want her to be with me.” There was a hole in his gut
when he said the words. If she left, he wasn’t sure that hole would ever fill
again. And there was a reason he’d never pushed Bay to take Stef up on all his
offers. “I think Bay’s going to hit it big someday. I think he’ll fit into
Brooke’s world.”
“But you won’t.”
“I don’t think I bring much to the table. I think she
probably likes having two men around, but I worry I’ll drag them down.”
“Shane, that is the voices in your head talking.” Max made
the turn onto Main Street and quickly pulled into The Trading Post parking lot.
“That is what your stepmom taught you at a young age. Bay is perfect, and
you’re a pain in everyone’s ass. I would bet you feel the need to organize
everything and take care of the people you think are important in your life. I
would bet you handle things for Bay that he doesn’t even think about, and
you’re probably already taking care of Brooke.”
“Why would you say that?” He was confused because it almost
sounded like Max was trying to convince him he wasn’t an asshole who should
stay away from his precious family.
“Because Bay is way too caught up in his own shit. He
doesn’t mean to be, and I’m sure when it’s pointed out to him, he wants to make
things right, but you two are what I like to call a symbiotic relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Rye and I wouldn’t know what to do without the
other. I don’t think we were born whole. Something split, and we had to make
sure we survived. Now we have to make sure we properly love and take care of
our family. We’re failing.”
He was being hard on himself. “I think Rachel needs a
break.”
“I think Rachel needs to be reminded that those kids exist
because we love her. She needs to remember that she’s the center of the world
and Rye and I need to stop being so stubborn and let our family help us out,”
Max admitted. “Look, the truth of the matter is I’m more like Bay. I sometimes
get lost in what I’m doing, what I want. For Bay, it’s his art. For me, it’s
horses and this business. I’m sure Alexei will tell me a big part of my drive
to make it all work is to prove to my father that I’m better than he was. He’s
never come back. Never looked for us.”
“My mom has another family. I found her last year. I guess I
was curious.” A light rain started, gently tapping on the windows and the top
of the cab. The good news was he’d put a rain poncho in Bay’s pack this
morning. “She’s in Nebraska. She married a grocery store manager and has two
kids. I suppose they’re my half siblings. She’s got some socials. In her bio
she calls herself happy wife and mother of two. Like I never existed. Like I
was a mistake she left behind.”
Max took a long breath and huffed it out. “So you found your
way here. Shane, this can’t work if you don’t value yourself.”
He was surprised at the words. “I thought you didn’t want it
to work.”
“I want my sister happy, and the truth is I’m learning the
older I get the more I feel for young men like you. You come by your assholery
honestly. I would probably be more freaked out if you weren’t on the assholish side. I don’t think going back to New York will
make Brooke happy.”
“You think she should stay here?”
“I think she needs a change. I was always worried about her
living in New York. Not because of the city. Because of the industry. She’s not
ruthless. She’s going to be taken advantage of, and quite frankly, she will
never like being told what to do. She needs to pick her projects. That’s what I
want for her. I want to have given her an education and training that makes it
possible for her to not get stuck. I love working for us. Really working for my
family in a way that maybe one day they’ll want to join me. I like building
something for us. In our name. Brooke needs to do the same.”
“I think she’s kind of happy with the job at the theater. I
know it doesn’t pay much.”
“She doesn’t have to make much. She doesn’t need to be high
powered,” Max explained. “She’s got it in her head that she needs to make
something of herself to pay back me and Rye. We only want her happy and
fulfilled. Honestly, right now I would just take her talking to us. I was
thinking about having all three of you out to dinner.”
He wasn’t sure he could handle it. “Maybe she could bring
Bay. I’m not real good with kids.”
“I suspect you’re excellent with them,” Max countered. “Tell
me what’s happening. Up until real recently you and Bay wouldn’t take a crap
alone.”
“Of course we… Look, I think Bay is giving this art show
thing a go, and when he does, I don’t have a place there. Especially…”
“Especially what?”
“He doesn’t believe me about why we left our last job. He
thinks I made it all up.”
“Is this the Kale Kingman stuff?”
He shouldn’t be surprised that Max knew. He was sure
everyone knew and thought he was a lying asshole. “Yeah.”
“You think he was going to take you and your brother out
because you caught him doing something criminal?” Max asked.
“I know it sounds…” Shane began.
“It sounds like that fucker finally might get caught. I
would believe anything about that man. Why don’t you tell me what happened.”
Max believed him? There was suspicion in the back of his
mind, but he was trying to be more open. Not everyone was out to get him. But
Kale Kingman sure as hell was.
Before he could start, there was a knock on the cab. He
glanced over and Nate Wright stood there.
Max rolled down the window. “Now, Nate, I know what I said
sounds bad…”
“Max, we have trouble,” the sheriff said. He eyed Shane.
“And I would like to have a talk with that one.”
His day had definitely taken a nose dive.