Chapter 9
All Falls Down
Deja
I’m lying here staring up at the ceiling. Since Connie is all grown and lives in the States with her brothers, I always sleep in her old bed in Kate’s room when I spend the night.
I didn’t sleep much last night. I was bummed out after finding out Logan and Cole have returned to the States. No goodbye, no we’ll talk, nothing. Cole is just gone.
Now I don’t know when I will get a chance to speak to him. I spent the night tossing and turning while asking myself if I had dreamt it all. Maybe I had more to drink than I thought I did.
Yet, I can still feel his breath against my skin and his words have been playing on repeat in my mind. I’m beginning to feel crazy and frustrated. Looking across the room, I see Kate is still knocked out with her hair in her mouth as it sits wide open.
No longer able to lie here, I punch at the bed and sit up. Maybe a shower will help. Climbing from the bed, I grab my things and head out to the bathroom.
I’m so sleepy as I stumble my way through the hall. Murmuring from the kitchen catches my ear, telling me I’m not the only one up. Most likely, Aunt Kara and Uncle Dougie are up getting breakfast ready for everyone.
I keep quiet and keep moving to the bathroom. Hopefully the shower will help to wake me or at least give me a chance to pull myself together. I never used to feel this way about Cole, so I’m not going to allow these feelings to consume me now.
I turn my thoughts to Mum. She said she wanted to go shopping this weekend when she and Da return. I’m excited about that. It’s been a while since Mum and I have had one of our girls’ days.
Maybe Kate will want to tag along. She did mention something about wanting a new dress for some party or something. Finally able to think of something other than Cole, I finish up and get out of the shower to get dressed.
I frown at my bangs in the mirror and poke my lip out. Mum is going to have to press my hair out for me again. I don’t know what I would do without my mum. She’s the greatest.
“Ya’re going to have to learn to take care of yer own hair now. She can’t come with ya to play ball, she can’t?” I mutter to myself.
Once dressed in a pair of overalls and a T-shirt, I head back to Kate’s room. I step inside quietly, but she’s not here. I knit my brows and go to put my things in my bag.
Maybe she got up for breakfast or had to pee and went to use the guys’ bathroom. I shrug it off and go to check my phone.
My mobile rings the moment I pick it up, pulling me out of my thoughts. I’m confused, as the name on the phone is Kate’s.
Getting this strange feeling in my stomach, I pick up the call.
“Hey, where are ya?” I say as I answer.
“Mum asked me to get up and run an errand with her. We’ll be back soon. I’m calling because Aisling called.”
“What happened now?” I snort. “Did she drop her curler in the toilet again?”
“No. It … It’s more serious than that. Maybe I should wait until we get back.”
“Yer not about to do that to me. Go on, tell me what’s going on.”
She sighs. My heart is racing as I think of Cole. Could something have happened to him? Was last week the last time I will ever see him?
“It’s Jameson. They found his body down by the river. It looks like he hit his head and fell into the water. They think he drowned, not being able to lift his head from the blow to his noodle,” she says.
“What?”
That sounds so crazy. I don’t know what to say. I stumble to the bed and flop down on the edge and just stare ahead.
“But we were just with him,” I whisper.
“They said he’s been missing since the night of the bonfire. Maybe he had too much to drink and tripped or something. A man jogging found his body.”
“I saw him leave with Boyle. He doesn’t know what happened to his own cousin?”
“Ach, I hear he told the police that they separated. He went to see someone, and Jameson took off on his own.”
“That’s—”
I’m cut off as my other line beeps in. I realize that I’ve pulled my knees up to my chest and I’m slowly rocking. I don’t understand what’s going on. My friend was found dead.
“Kate, I need to call ya back. I have another call coming in. It might be Mum,” I murmur. “I’ll see ya when ya get back, yeah?”
“Aye, I’ll see ya when we get back. I love you, Deja.”
“I love you too.”
I change over to the other call, feeling like I’m watching this all from outside my body. I’m still trying to process what all Kate has told me. Nothing makes sense right now.
“Hello.”
“Deja, this is Finlay Black. I need ya to get dressed and come out to the kitchen, love?”
“Uncle Finlay?”
“Aye, love. I’m here at the house for ye. I need to get ye to Scotland,” he says.
“Huh, I don’t understand,” I say and get to my feet.
“Come on out and we’ll talk. I need to talk to ye face to face.”
I’m numb. Something isn’t right. I get the feeling Jameson is only the start of bad news today. I nod as if Uncle Finlay can see me, as my mind begins to spin.
Uncle Finlay Black isn’t my real uncle. He’s Kate and Cole’s uncle. Their mum’s brother.
I’ve known him since I was a little girl. My mum once told me that if anything happened to her, she would send Ian or Finlay Black to come protect me.
Ian Black is gone. However, if Finlay Black is here for me, something is wrong. I begin to shake, is that why Mum sounded off yesterday?
“What’s going on? Where’s Mum and Da?”
“Och, come to the kitchen, love. Not over the phone. I have something from her for ye. I’ll give it to ye once we’re on the road. Hold tight, love.”
“Okay, I’m on my way out.”
He hangs up and I’m left standing in the middle of Kate’s room, scared and confused. Jameson is dead, something has happened to Mum, and Finlay Black is here to take me to Scotland.
My grandmother, great-grandmother, and great-uncles live in Scotland. Not my real grandmothers and great-uncles, but my grandmothers and great-uncles through Angus. They’re the only family I’ve ever known.
In a daze, I turn to head out to the kitchen. My stomach twists into more knots with each step. Something about the house feels too still.
It no longer feels like the safe, warm place I’ve always known it to be. There is a chill in the air I can’t seem to shake off.
There are no voices coming from the kitchen as there had been before my shower. However, the scent of coffee is in the air. When I enter the kitchen, I find Uncle Dougie sitting at the table with another man.
I know right away from the broad shoulders and the call that it’s Uncle Finlay. He turns and gives me a warm smile. When he stands and opens his arms, I rush into his embrace, feeling like I’m going to need it after whatever he’s going to say.
“What’s going on?” I choke out.
“Yer mum asked me to come for ye. There has been an accident and ye can’t return to the house.”
“Where is she? Is she okay?”
“Yer mum is fine, but Angus is gone, love.”
“What do you mean gone?” I ask as tears burn my eyes.
“Finlay, ye should go. It isn’t safe here,” Dougie grumbles.
“Aye, he’s right. We need to go. My car is outside waiting.”
I nod. “I need to get my things.”
“Go on. I’ll get yer bags and bring them out. Leave yer mobile on the table. Fin has a burner for ya,” Dougie says and pulls me into a hug.
I try not to sob as I follow my best friend’s uncle out of the house. As my mind spins with questions and disbelief, Finlay leads me to a black SUV with tinted windows. Nothing makes sense as I climb into the passenger seat.
Finlay climbs in behind the wheel as Dougie rushes out with my softball bag and my backpack, placing them into the back seat. My heart begins to ache.
My da is gone? What does that mean? I look to Finlay to ask for answers and freeze.
Finlay Black looks so much like his sister and brother, so of course, my mind goes right to Cole. I wish he were here with me to tell me everything is going to be okay.
If I’m going to Scotland, will I ever see him again? His grandfather is gone. It seems like America has become his home from now on.
I can’t help but feel like I’m losing everyone I care about. I think I’m in shock because I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that my da is gone.
“Buckle up, love. We need to go,” Finlay commands, pulling me from my thoughts.
I reach for my seat belt and click it into place. Dougie stands outside the vehicle, looking somber. I can’t help but wonder if he knew all this last night when he sent us to bed. Dougie raps the bonnet of the SUV with his knuckles right before Finlay peels off as soon as I’m settled.
Looking out the windshield, I notice smoke rising in the distance. I knit my brows as I realize that’s the direction of my home.
I blink a few times as the thick black smoke brings with it the heavy reality that I might never see my home again. My heart begins to race. I look to Finlay, but he’s keeping his eyes straight ahead.
“Is that fire coming from my home?”
“Aye, I have a few of your things in the boot. Everything else is gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ye won’t be coming back here. Ireland isn’t safe for ye.”
“Can ya tell me what’s going on?” I ask.
“There’s a bag under yer seat. Yer mum left ye something. It should explain it all for now.”
Tears prick my eyes. His words make everything seem so final. I can’t hold the tears back as I reach under the seat and pull out the bag I know to be my mum’s. For as long as I can remember, this bag has been in her office in our home.
My stomach drops with dread. This can’t be good. Tears stream down my face.
My home is on fire, and my mum has sent someone to collect me and take me away. That has been my home since I was a little girl. I feel like I have stones in my stomach, as I know yesterday was the last time I will see my home.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know yesterday morning could have been the last time I’ll see Mum or Da. I swipe at my tears and reach into the bag.
Inside, I find a recorder. I put the earbuds in my ears and press play as I inhale deeply and try to wrap my head around all of this. However, when I hear my mother’s voice, I lose it.
I sob as her words are spoken to me, and reality begins to take root. Devastated isn’t the word for what I’m feeling. I’m completely lost as I listen.
“Deja, if you’re hearing this, Finlay should be with you. If he’s not, I need you to be brave. The most important thing is for you to get to safety. I promise you, this will be made right, but I need you safe.
“From here on out, you trust no one. Your life depends on it. Do you understand?”
I nod as if she’s here and whisper, “Yes.”
Even though I don’t. As we race away from everything I know, I have no idea what’s going on. I remain silent as my mind fills with so many questions. What just happened?
“You need to get to your great-grandmother. You’ll be safe with her. Your uncle Ken will look out for you until things are settled.
“Orla and Ken are family. They’ve always treated us as such. I am positive the two of them will help you.
“There’s so much I want to say. I thought life with Angus would keep us out of this mess. Looks like I was wrong.
“I should have found a way to make everything right years ago. This is my fault,” she says.
There is an awkward pause before she inhales deeply and begins again. “You’re probably thinking you can trust the people I’m leaving you with. However, I meant what I said. Trust no one.
“If you’re with Finlay. He’s only going to get you to safety and then he has to part ways. He’s doing me a solid.
“You will allow your great-grandmother and uncle to help you, but trust is something you can’t afford to give your own shadow. I know you’ve always been close with Ken and Duncan. I don’t think either of them would ever harm you, but I’m not taking any chances while you’re without me.
“You know you don’t have to worry about your uncle Ewan, as he always keeps to himself.” She chuckles, causing me to laugh with her.
There’s something about Uncle Ewan I’ve never put my finger on. Nothing bad. He’s just odd in a soldier-in-waiting kind of way. I don’t know how to explain it.
“However, I get the feeling he’s going to be one of your greatest helps. I know you love your uncles, but you need to learn to follow your instincts. If something feels off, believe it.
“I won’t be around to cover you. I’ve done things that might come back for me in the form of targeting you. I’m counting on the fear people have of the McDougal clan.
“Ian Black isn’t here to protect you for me. So I’m going with my next option. You’re smart, Deja. Protect yourself. Make everyone earn your trust.
“If you don’t need them, don’t bother giving them a chance to prove a thing. Everything I do is to protect you, my baby. All I’ve done has been for you. Remember, if I can’t fix this and keep it away from you, I will be there when you need me most.”
The recording ends and I’m left breathless. I still have so many questions. I lean my head against the window and sob.