Chapter Twenty-One
Vauxhall Gardens had always been somewhere Toby enjoyed.
Loud noise, plenty of beautiful women, and outrageous entertainment.
Tonight, he wanted to be anywhere but here.
First there was Florence, who he knew was asleep, but he was happier if he was in the house while she did, and second there was Liberty, whom he could not stop thinking about.
“Why are you morose?”
“What?” He shot Jamie a look as he wandered with him through the gardens.
“You’re morose.”
“I am not. I’m weary. Please note the difference.
I have a child to care for. They are exhausting, if wonderful.
There is also not a morose bone in my body, and I’ll thank you to remember that,” Toby said, looking around him for Liberty, which was something he did far too often.
“Morose is for people who can find nothing to entertain them.” He sent his hand in an arc.
“Does this look to you like I am not entertained?”
Since the chess match, and the revelations her brother had told him about the accident, which Edward was sure would infuriate his sister, Toby had watched her closer.
There was the Heather musicale, where she’d arrived late, and moved to a seat several rows in front of him, slowly. Which he now knew was her not being cautious, but likely due to her leg. Was she still in pain because of it?
Last night he’d seen her at the Sowter ball, exquisite in a lavender dress, which to his mind was cut too low in the bodice, and watched her dance, but just the once, and a waltz like she had with him.
He wondered if she chose that dance because if she fell, whoever was her partner would hold her up.
I want to be the one holding her up. The words slid into his head before he could stop them.
“Morose,” Jamie said again.
“I have things on my mind,” Toby said. “You are not intelligent enough to hold things inside your head, so it doesn’t happen to you.”
“Harsh. Ah look, there is Lady Luton looking at you longingly.”
“Excellent alliteration.” Toby followed his friends and found Lady Luton, whom he’d had a liaison with after her husband passed six months ago. She gave him a smile that could only be termed smoldering.
“She is giving you a come-hither look.”
“Let’s go the other way,” Toby said, herding his friend to the left like a lost sheep.
“Why?”
“You’re full of questions tonight,” Toby said.
“Something is off with you. Anthony said as much yesterday.”
“You and Anthony are discussing me now?”
“We always discuss you, because then we don’t have to look to closely at ourselves.”
Toby snorted. “I have a child living in my house. That is a huge responsibility. Surely you and Anthony understand that.”
“Yes, and of course that would be unsettling, but there is also Lady Liberty,” Jamie said and this time his voice was serious. “I think she is on your mind.”
“I am a rake and a libertine, and as such, no woman takes up space in my head,” Toby lied.
“If you say so, but you no longer are those things since Florence arrived,” Jamie said.
Toby added nothing to that.
“Come along then. We are to meet the newlyweds and watch the fireworks. But if you wish to speak about anything, you know I am all ears.”
“I do, and I don’t want to speak about anything.”
They walked on in silence, passing guests excited to be here for the display about to begin. Toby tried to remember a time he was last excited and failed.
“I’m just going to walk for a while. I’ll join you shortly, Jamie.”
His friend looked at him. “Very well, but don’t get into any trouble, as I will not be there to save you.”
“I shall try,” Toby drawled.
He walked away from the guests and down a path.
Veering left, he went down another that was less frequented by society members, unless they wanted a few minutes alone to do things they shouldn’t, and then it was the perfect destination.
Darker and only lit by the occasional torch, it was full of shadows and places to hide.
People had been attacked here often, but that didn’t worry Toby. He could look after himself, and to be honest, a scuffle might take the edge off the unease that was constantly riding him.
Liberty’s accident could have killed her, and that thought had settled inside his head.
He’d seen her for three seasons, and not once had he thought the choice he’d made to push her away from him that day the wrong one.
So why was he doubting himself now? Why had hearing about her accident rocked him?
A squeak of outrage to his right had Toby stopping. He could walk on. It was none of his business if a couple or a woman alone was in there. But what if it weren’t innocent? What if she had been lured there?
Developing a conscience was hell, and he blamed Liberty and Florence for that too. If someone was hurting one of them, he’d want a man to step in and stop it. Step in and protect them.
Just the thought made him feel ill.
Toby looked at the trees behind which there was clearly rustling, and then someone appeared. Head down, the woman wasn’t running, which suggested she’d not been in any danger.
“Is everything all right, madam?” Toby had to ask, and when she said yes, he’d walk on.
Her head shot up, and their eyes connected. He saw the fear in hers.
“Liberty? What the hell are you doing here alone?” The rage was fast and flooded his body. He stormed closer. “Are you mad?”
Was she meeting someone? A lover? The ugly thought slid into his head, and he had no right to feel the bite of jealousy over it. What she did was her business.
“I am not mad, and you’ll unhand me at once,” she said, her voice high-pitched.
“What has happened? What scared you?” He hadn’t even realized he’d wrapped his fingers around her wrist.
“Let me go at once, and I will return to my parents.” She squinted up at him.
“You should not have left them,” he snarled. “Why are you not wearing your glasses?”
She made a small shrieking sound, which suggested her rage now matched his.
“Tell me,” he demanded.
“My mother has no wish for her daughter to be seen wearing eyeglasses in public.” She looked up at him defiantly. Eyes squinting as she tried to bring him into focus.
“My surprise is that you listen to her. Now, tell me, why were you in those trees?”
“I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“And yet you will. It is dangerous to be alone in such a place. Anyone could have attacked you—”
“I am no concern of yours,” she snapped.
Toby didn’t know what possessed him to do what he did in that moment. But looking down at her lovely eyes and soft lips in a defiant line, he was soon lowering his head.
“What—”
He kissed her. Liberty, his old childhood friend. The woman he’d turned from, and Toby knew that with the first touch, it had been a mistake.
Her lips were soft, and her body felt full and lush as he pulled her closer. One kiss and he was gone. He’d know now, every time he looked at her, what she tasted like.
One hand went to her head, where Toby angled it to meet his lips, and he took the kiss deeper.
Desperate to get as close to this woman as he could.
He lost all reason. His only focus was her and this.
Placing a hand on her spine, he pressed her flush to his body.
Felt every inch of her lush form, from her thighs to her breasts against his.
Her hands fisted on his lapels as he caressed her back. Toby fought with himself to not ravage her lips. Not consume her with the need that was charging through his body. In that moment, he wanted to lay her down and possess her, and it was that thought which had him lifting his head.
“Toby,” she whispered, and it was the first time he’d heard his name on her lips since that day. “Wh-what are you doing?”
Christ. He released her and took a step back, so their bodies no longer touched.
“Why did you kiss me?” He heard the uncertainty in her voice.
“I am a rake, remember?” But he wasn’t anymore, and never would be again.
Her eyes widened, and she closed the gap between them. He took the slap without moving, because he’d deserved it. And then she was walking away from him. He grabbed her wrist, stopping her. But she didn’t look at him.
“I want to know why you were here alone, my lady?”
“Go to hell.”
“Again? I believe you sent me there several times already. Now tell me, what has you here on this path without company?”
“I wanted to be alone,” she said, chin raised, tone defiant.
“Don’t lie to me, Liberty, this is serious.”
She glared at him, and then tried to shake free, but he held her in place.
“I will hold you here all night if I must. Someone will come along and find us—”
“All right,” she snapped. “I saw someone I thought I recognized. A man from Bidham, and he was walking this way, so I followed.”
The anger flared inside him again, thankfully forcing down the lust he’d felt kissing Liberty. He didn’t kiss innocents. “I thought you were an intelligent woman.”
She tried to pull free again.
“Who did you see?”
“Sydney, Helen’s brother. He went into those trees.” She pointed over her shoulder. “I followed. He met a man, because another voice said, ‘You’re late.’”
“Liberty, this is not a game,” Toby said as several scenarios of what could have happened to her played out inside his head.
“I stood on a branch and it made a noise. The men went quiet, so I ran,” she then added.
Toby tugged her closer until their faces were inches apart. “You will not take any more risks, Liberty. This, walking here alone was foolish. One of those men could have grabbed you.”
“Sydney would—”
“He is doing what someone else tells him to,” Toby gritted out. “He is likely as terrified as you right now. This is no game for a silly young lady to play.”
Her chin raised again, and he raked his eyes over her features.
“Don’t treat me like a fool, Lord Corbyn.”
So beautiful, Toby thought. So fiery and determined. He’d never wanted a woman more than in that moment.
“Then don’t act like one, Lady Liberty. Never walk here alone again, or I will tell your father.”