Epilogue
AIDYN
(Almost) Two Years Later
“Touch that cake and you die.”
Zye stops spinning and glares at me. “You’re the only one here who’s ruined a cake.”
Heat flashes through me. That ruined cake sparked this thing with Garrett. It’s been almost two years, and that first kiss between us still sets me on fire. I squash all those thoughts and the feelings that inevitably come with them.
“You’re a walking time bomb. You already knocked over two glasses of water.”
“I would have cleaned it up, but no… ‘No one touches me mop, Zye!’” he says, doing a terrible impression of me as he waves his arms around and barely misses the balloons on the kitchen counter. “Why are you so grumpy?”
“Haven’t you heard? Grumpy is my middle name.” But he’s right. I’m grumpier than usual. Where the fuck is Garrett? He promised he’d be here. For Simon, of course.
Nothing much has changed in the two years since we got together. Are we together though? Garrett still lives in New York. We text often. FaceTime occasionally. Less occasional are his visits. But it’s more than before, and I’ll take anything I can get.
Still, this is Simon’s second birthday. He promised to be here.
Simon, impatient from the start, was born six weeks early.
Jane struggled. Isaac was in his last year of college and was working a lot.
At least initially. When he finally realized everything wasn’t okay at home, he slowed down and took more time with Simon and Jane.
Post-partum depression was the official diagnosis, but I suspect Jane hadn’t dealt with her grief over losing Emily.
I understand. How could I not? But a child is involved.
I haven’t seen Jane much in the last few weeks. Or confronted Isaac about her absence. At least not yet. I need backup for that.
Zye flounces off to the dining room, and some of the tension leaves my body, knowing the cake is safe, at least for now. He’s wearing a long shirt with flamingos on them. I think it’s a shirt. He’s paired it with tights, so maybe it’s a dress?
Zye turned his wedding disaster into a win.
He read us his entire essay response to the university on why he was a good candidate for their program.
And it was good. He recently finished his courses and is now a certified event planner.
He’s a good lad. If he didn’t twirl all the time, I’d be happier.
The dining room is full of people, but not as full as it should be. Isaac holds a squirming Simon. Since learning to walk, the kid has been unstoppable. Isaac finally gives up and lets him down.
Zye and Lanie give the toddler all the attention he wants.
Lanie is eleven going on eighteen. She’s so grown up already.
And starting to get moody. I’m not ready for the teen years or even the preteen years.
I still miss Emily something awful. And this is when Lanie needs her most. But the grief is no longer crippling.
And the ache that wakes me up at night isn’t for Emily. It’s for Garrett. And I should probably feel guiltier about that than I do.
Isaac’s mom and dad are here. They love to spoil Simon.
Jane’s parents aren’t here, and I don’t expect them to show.
They moved to Florida not long after Emily died—for the warmer climate, they said.
But I suspect it was less about avoiding snow and more about avoiding anything that reminded them of Emily.
They hadn’t made it to Jane’s wedding, Simon’s birth and first birthday, or any of Lanie’s recent birthdays. At this point, I’m not sure what it would take to bring them back to Mule Creek.
Simon runs over, and I pick him up. “Happy birthday, laddie.”
He wraps his little arms around me, and I squeeze him.
The door to the diner opens, and Garrett strides in like he’s home.
That gives me all sorts of feelings I don’t need right now.
He waves to everyone, but his eyes find me.
He strides over with a grin and wraps an arm around Simon, which brings him close to me.
His aftershave teases me, and I’m torn between wanting to take him upstairs and get him naked and wrapping my arms around him and nuzzling his neck.
“Happy Birthday, Simon Garrett Brandt,” he says, kissing him on the cheek. “I missed you, kiddo.”
“What about me?” I keep my voice low.
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he grabs my hand and squeezes.
His eyes meet mine for a brief moment, and fuck, I’m gone.
I’m so tired of hiding how I feel about him.
But I’m the holdout. I’m the one afraid to let anyone know.
Our family and friends. The town. What would they say about me being in a relationship with a man?
Not just any man, but my deceased wife’s brother. And how would that affect Lanie?
Simon wraps his arms around Garrett and shifts out of mine. I understand how he feels. That’s where I want to be too, in Garrett’s arms.
“Do I have time to take my stuff upstairs?” he asks Isaac as he hugs Simon and hands him to his dad.
“Yeah, we’ll start in about fifteen minutes. Just in case anyone else decides—” He cuts off and glances away.
Garrett narrows his eyes and studies the room. “Where’s Jane?”
Isaac gives a pointed look toward Simon. “Um, she’s visiting friends.”
“On her son’s birthday?” Garrett asks with a growl, looking like he’s going to argue the point.
“I’ll show you where to put your stuff.” I pull his hand and lead him up the stairs. Not that he needs me to show him. It’s probably obvious to everyone that I’m trying to stop him from talking about Jane. What’s not obvious, I hope, is how much I need to touch him. Kiss him.
And that makes me a little testy when we make it to the upstairs hall landing. “Are you a fucking idiot?”
His lips quirk. “Grumpy Aidyn is my favorite.” He stashes his stuff in Lanie’s room. Yes, that’s still the lie we’re telling. And follows me into mine.
I slam the door and shut his mouth with mine. The kiss is frantic and needy and then slow and really fucking needy.
He pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. “Hey there.”
“Fecking eejit.”
“Sorry I’m late. My flight got delayed.”
My eyes sting. I hate this so fucking much. If I could get out of my own way, we wouldn’t be in this mess. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
He tips my chin and brushes his lips over mine. “Please never stop yelling at me. It gets me hot.”
I slap his chest and push him away. “We have a birthday party. But Lanie is staying with Zoey tonight, so I have plenty of time later to…yell at you.”
He kisses me again. This time it’s a quick peck. He takes my hand and leads me downstairs. When we’re almost to the kitchen, he lets go, and I miss his hand in mine.
“Did you try her friend in Columbia?” Zye asks Isaac in a low voice. They’re the only two people in the kitchen when we enter.
His answer is cut short when he sees us. “Ready to do this?” Isaac smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, which have dark circles under them. Zye races out of the room to check on the other party guests.
“Enough stalling, Isaac. What’s going on? Where’s Jane?” Garrett asks.
I’m thankful because now I don’t have to.
He bites his lip and stares at the cake, still on the counter. “Jane has been a mess. Last week, I convinced her to go to rehab.”
I’ve shared my concerns with Garrett, so he’s not totally shocked. “Is it that bad? I thought it was just a few pills.”
“It’s…not good.”
Garrett sighs. “At least she’s getting the help she needs.”
But Isaac is already shaking his head. “After three days, she checked herself out. I don’t know where she is now.”
“Isaac, I’m sure she’s close—” I stop when Lanie walks into the kitchen.
Her eyes take us all in. She tilts her head and fiddles with the paper plates in her hand. “Are you talking about Aunt Jane? I saw her a few days ago.”
Relief flashes on Isaac’s face. “You did?” He sounds like he wants to say more…ask more…but he clamps his mouth shut.
“Yeah, she—” Lanie cuts herself off, glancing at me with uncertain eyes. An uneasy feeling washes over me.
“She what?” I ask, gruffer than I mean to. Garrett touches my arm, and it helps calm me. “You can tell us, lass.”
Everyone in the room watches her, and I worry she might bolt. She gulps and holds the Spiderman paper plates in front of her mouth.
“It’s okay, Lanie.” Isaac smiles, and this time, it reaches his eyes. Still sad but sincere. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Her gaze darts to me and back. Isaac isn’t the one she’s worried about.
That uneasy feeling intensifies. When she speaks, her voice is so soft it’s difficult to hear.
“She borrowed some money.” She glances at me, and there are tears in her eyes.
“She said she wanted to get something for Simon for his birthday. And it was a surprise…” Her face falls, and the truth is there in her eyes.
“She asked me not to tell you, Uncle Isaac. Or…my da.”
Fury tightens like a vise around my chest. “I’m going to fucking—”
Garrett places his hand on my back as Isaac cuts in. “It’s not your fault, Lanie. I’ll pay you back. How much was it?”
“Two hundred dollars.”
My anger mixes with something between sorrow and, strangely enough, pride. “You were saving that money for your horse.”
Zoey’s family owns a farm, and Lanie has been learning how to ride.
Her dream is to own a horse of her own. That’s why she’s been working extra hours at the diner and doing odd jobs around town.
She worked all summer long. And Jane…I’m going to fucking kill her.
But later. My daughter, with her kind heart, needs me.
She’s just like Emily. Always so giving.
I wrap my arms around her, and her sobs have me blinking back tears of my own. Garrett hands her a tissue.
“It’s all right, darlin’. You dinna do anything wrong.”
“You guys are yelling, and it’s upsetting Simon,” Zye says in a huff as he enters the kitchen. He stops, taking in all our faces. He places his hands on his hips. “What now?”
“I’ll tell you later. Let’s eat some cake.” Isaac nods to the dining area, his jaw set. I can see the strain on his face. In his eyes. Working part-time while still in college. Taking care of Simon by himself. Worrying about Jane.
“Zye and Lanie, can you get Simon calmed down? We’ll be in shortly with the cake. Isaac? Can we have a quick word?” Garrett manages to say exactly what I planned to. Is he worried about Isaac too?
Once they’re gone, Garrett nods at me. Is it weird we’re on the same wavelength? “Tell us the rest, Isaac.”
“I’ve got it handled, guys. Thanks.”
I cross my arms and wait. Isaac sighs. He’s never been one to ask for help. But we’re past that. “A few days ago, Jane cleaned out our checking account…and a savings account we had for Simon.”
Garrett takes shallow breaths. His body is tense as if he’s going to start yelling at any moment. “Do you need money?”
Isaac shakes his head, and I’m not sure I believe him. He must notice because he rubs the back of his neck and says, “I have money in another account that she can’t touch.” He clamps his lips together and blinks. “I wish I could help her. I’ve tried—” His voice breaks, and he shakes his head again.
“This isn’t your fault, lad.” I give Isaac a hug, which is unusual for me. “Go take care of your son. We’ll be there in a minute.”
He gives me a grateful look and leaves.
“I’m going to kill her,” I say with a growl, turning to Garrett.
“She might beat you to it. Addiction sucks.”
“I don’t care— I’m sorry, I know she’s your—” I stop with a shake of my head. God, I’m being a selfish jerk. Garrett’s already lost one sister. Now he’s losing the other. “This has to be hard for you, love.”
“Stop. I can’t— I didn’t stay behind to talk about Jane.
I fucking missed you.” His hand slides around my neck and into my hair, and he presses his lips against mine.
I should worry about who might come through that door, but in that moment, I don’t care.
His kisses are sweet. Calming. Yes, I miss the sex, but I think I miss this more. Just being with Garrett.
He pulls me closer, and the kisses heat as he plunges his tongue into my mouth. Oh Lord Almighty. We’re both breathing heavily when we part. “I’m glad Lanie is staying the night at Zoey’s.”
“Yeah? Why’s that?”
“You’re very tense, Mr. Christy. I know a way to help you relax.”
“Do ya now?”
“I do,” he says, kissing me again. I don’t even care that he’s making fun of my accent. This is all I care about.
“I’m getting there.” I place his hand on my hardening cock to prove it.
Garrett chuckles. “First, we have to get through this party. And eat that amazing cake you made. Then maybe we can have some of the just-in-case icing you stored in the fridge so I can lick it off you.”
His words and his fingers distract me, and for a second, I let him get away with that.
“Wait, you pushy bastard.” I hold up a finger, so he gets that I’m serious. “I have something to say.”
“You always have something to say. That’s why I have to creatively shut you up.” He grins at me, and I shake my head.
“Shut it, Garrett.” I cover his mouth with my hand because I need to get this out before I talk myself out of it. “I…this is…I mean…” As I stumble over my words, his brows raise in question. His eyes are fond. Amused. And then it’s not so hard. “I love you.”
A grin spreads over his face. “But do you fucking love me?”
“I do,” I say, kissing him hard and pulling away before I can’t. “I fucking love you, Garrett Bishop.”
I’m not ready to tell the world, but telling Garrett feels right.
After singing “Happy Birthday” to Simon, eating cake, and watching him open presents, we clean up the mess of the party and are finally alone.
I back up my words with action. Showing him how much I love him. Want him.
As I slide into his hot body, cherishing every moment, memorizing every gasp and moan, he presses his cheek against mine and whispers, his voice wrecked, “I love you too, Aidyn. More than anything.”
My fears that lurk beneath the surface—mostly that Garrett will leave me for good—rest. This thing between us is real. It might take a while to get to where we’re willing to share our love with our family, but we’ll get there.
Garrett loves me. He knows and believes that I love him. That’s enough. At least for now.