Chapter Ten
He wasn’t sure why he’d done it, and was now regretting his actions, but Jamie had asked Miss Devlin when he arrived in the park if she wanted to take a walk with him.
It was that bloody list, of course. Miss Devlin’s name had been on there, along with Lady Alice, and Miss Timothy. He wanted to rid his mind of Lady Alice, and to do that he thought, foolishly, that walking with Miss Devlin might help. It hadn’t.
“I always find a walk in the fresh park air invigorating,” she said.
They’d been walking for ten minutes, and to Jamie, it was turning out to be the longest ten minutes of his life.
“Extremely invigorating,” he agreed.
“Here you cannot easily smell the more unpleasant scents you could if you were walking a London street.”
She then proceeded to wave to everyone she met, in between talking to him about a variety of topics he had no interest in.
“Miss Primrose is quite a gossip, you know, my lord. Why, just last week I had to tell her I had no wish to hear such things about society members.”
Miss Devlin then went on to explain the things she hadn’t meant to hear, but clearly had, as she was very detailed. And this was why he didn’t take young, innocent women walking in the park. Their conversations were mind numbingly boring.
Glancing around them, Jamie saw plenty of colorful parasols to shade women from the sun, as they wandered closer to the Serpentine.
Vendors called out their wares, and a few servants scurried to them to secure refreshments for those in carriages.
It was a typical scene, and one he’d taken in many times, yet today it felt different.
He felt different, and could not quite put his finger on why.
“Of course, I never gossip, as it really is not done, Lord Stafford.”
Jamie let her rattle on with the occasional noise when it was required of him. He knew not all were like Miss Devlin, and in fact it was likely she was nervous walking with him. Maybe he was just too jaded to be in the company of innocent people.
The hand life had dealt him by putting him in Blackwood Hall had darkened his soul. He wasn’t sure that would ever change.
He knew for his family’s line to continue, he was expected to marry, but never to someone like Miss Devlin. Lady Alice slid into his head. Absolutely not. He did not want passion with his future wife. He wanted companionship. She would not be comfortable—far from it in fact.
They would do what they must to seek out the monster that was Kenneth Jackson, and then he would be keeping his distance from that woman.
“Lord Stafford?”
“Sorry, I missed that, Miss Devlin. What was it you said?”
“Are you to attend the Fotheringham house party? I heard it will be quite the occasion, and everyone is going.” This was followed by a trill of laughter which confirmed to Jamie, if he’d needed confirmation that was, that no way in hell could he face this woman across his breakfast table.
“I am unsure at this stage.”
“Oh, you must.”
“And here is your mother.” He didn’t exactly drag her across the grass to the woman smiling at them with a smug look on her face, but it was a near thing.
“My daughter is so accomplished, Lord Stafford. Why, just this morning I listened to her playing a sonata by Mozart, and her performance was faultless.”
Lady Devlin was no different to many who had daughters in society.
Their main goal was to secure them good matches, and it was for the young women to present themselves in just the perfect light to achieve that.
Jamie knew this was the way things worked, even as he disliked it.
Mainly for the young women. He wasn’t sure why this was suddenly bothering him when he’d been witnessing it for years… but it did.
“Wonderful. I always think pianoforte playing an excellent skill. I’m quite hopeless at it,” Jamie said.
He then bowed deeply. “Thank you for the walk, Miss Devlin.” Before either lady could speak another word, he’d headed the other way, his eyes searching for someone, anyone, he knew and was comfortable with. They landed on her.
Lady Alice was walking with the Thomas twins.
“Well now, this is fortuitous.”
Turning to the right, he saw Anthony, Evie, Toby, and Liberty approaching. Slowly, he unclenched his muscles and made himself focus on them, rather than Lady Alice. Jamie also made sure the bruise on his chin was not facing his friends.
“Is Miss Devlin on the list?” Anthony asked.
“List?” Jamie raised a brow.
“We know you have one, and I’m quite sure we shared ours with you,” Toby said.
“Never let it be said that I have a say in who you wed, Jamie,” Liberty added. “But not Miss Devlin if you please. She is not suitable at all.”
“She chatters incessantly. Even if she is on the list, I agree with Liberty—”
“Of course you do because she’s your wife,” Jamie said. “You always agree with her.”
“As he should. Now, let us stroll,” Liberty said.
“Where is Florence?” he asked Toby and Liberty, placing his hand over the bruise now, casually.
Florence had been a little girl when she’d come to live with Toby when her parents, Toby’s cousin, Thomas, and his wife, passed away.
At the time, it had been terrifying for both of them.
His friend had been a bachelor who had no plans to wed, but now, he, Liberty, and Florence were a happy family.
Jamie had come to love the little girl very much, and spoiled her, as did the others.
“She and her nanny, Miss Haigh, are studying nature today in the garden,” Toby said. “I wanted to stay, as it sounds rather fun actually, but Liberty told me I had to accompany her.”
“It certainly sounds more fun than this,” Jamie agreed, looking around him. He found Lady Alice with the Thomas twins.
“I like that woman,” Evie said, following his gaze. “Is she on the list, Jamie?”
“This conversation is over because I will not marry,” he said, feeling like his neckcloth was tightening on its own around his neck.
“But is she on the list?” Liberty said with a sweet smile.
“That look may have your husband yielding to your every wish; however, it will not move me.”
Toby clutched his chest. “Are you actually refusing her? I must try that sometime.”
“Very amusing, husband, but still he has not answered.”
“What is the bruise on your cheek from?” Evie asked, grabbing Jamie’s hand and tugging it from his face. Suddenly, the silence was deafening, and Anthony and Toby’s smiles changed to scowls.
“Ah, do you want a lemonade, Evie?” Liberty said, looking at her husband. “We shall procure some and cake—I think they will definitely need cake after the talk that is coming.”
“You will not make a scene here,” Evie said, patting her husband’s cheek. “I’m wondering if we should stay and mediate?”
“They’ll tell us later anyway, but we shall pretend they won’t,” Liberty said.
The women then wandered off, leaving the three men all now standing in a tight circle glaring at each other.
“You told us you were done with fighting,” Anthony snapped.
“Promised actually,” Toby added, scowling.
Jamie hadn’t thought he’d see his friends today, as they were usually in their houses playing happily married couples, and had hoped the bruise would have faded by the time he saw them again.
“I walked into a door,” he lied.
“No, you did not,” Anthony gritted out.
The sound of someone banging on a drum had them all jumping. Looking left, Jamie found a military band had begun to play nearby. At least they would not be overheard.
“You were fighting again, weren’t you?”
The anger in Anthony’s voice had Jamie’s rising.
“He lies better than anyone I know, so it’s hard to say,” Toby said, leaning in to look at Jamie’s face.
“I’m not answering any of your questions. I have more important things to talk about.”
“More important than you being used as a punching bag?” Anthony’s words were chilly, as was the look in his eyes.
“Christ, Jamie,” Toby said. “You said it had stopped. What happened to make you—”
“Look, just leave it, will you? I need to tell you something else. What I do when you’re not with me is my business.” Jamie saw the hurt his words put in his friends’ eyes, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t done talking yet. “You both have wives now, and lives to live. Let me live mine.”
They stared at him for long seconds and he withstood it, even as he wanted to shuffle his feet.
“You think because we are married and in love with our wives, we are no longer invested in your life? That you don’t matter, and the past that we have shared is suddenly no longer important?” Toby said, his tone solemn.
Hell.
“You became our business the first day we walked into Blackwood Hall, and will always be so,” Anthony said. “We are brothers, and our wives have no bearing on that.”
“Of course they have bearing on that,” Jamie snapped, not even realizing until now that he was feeling cast adrift. “They are your sole focus now, as they should be.”
“No,” Toby said. “Absolutely not.”
“Agreed. You,” Anthony jabbed him in the chest hard, “are stuck with us, and I want the truth right now. Have you been fighting again?”
He’d never been able to lie to these two.
“Speak,” Toby snapped.
“Fine, yes.”
“Why?”
“Look—”
“Why?” Anthony said again, but this time in a low growl.
“I enjoy it.” It wasn’t a lie exactly. He did enjoy the fight, but when his demons were howling at him, he needed to do something to push them back down inside. Fighting did that, more so than just any form of exercise.
“What’s going on? Why did you feel the need to fight? Why did you not come to us?” Toby asked. “Was it after the ball, which we both attended, so you could have talked to us there.”
“There are just some things I need to do alone,” Jamie said. He saw her then. Lady Alice was walking the path nearby, and her eyes were on him. They widened briefly as she passed. Did that mean she wanted to speak to him?
“We don’t keep secrets from each other,” Anthony said.
Jamie snorted. “You don’t actually believe that, do you? You had secrets, such as the extent of your gambling.”
“If you feel the need to fight again, I want you to tell one of us,” Toby said before Anthony could speak again. “We will be there in support.”
“I won’t need you, because I always win.” Jamie said the words with a cocky smile, hoping to lighten the mood.
“What do you want to tell us?” Anthony muttered, clearly still annoyed.
“Not here. But soon. Right now, I need to speak to Lady Alice.”
Both his friends raised their brows at that.
“Not in that way; it’s to do with her brother. He was a Blackwood boy. But I need your women to help me get her alone.”
“Why?”
He knew he’d have to tell them, and that they would not be pleased, but not here in a park full of society members.
“I promise I will explain everything, just trust me in this. I need to speak to her now.”
“Very well, but we will have a full accounting,” Anthony said.
Liberty and Evie returned with two lemonades.
“Give those to your men. I need to speak to Lady Alice, and you two are going to help me,” Jamie said, taking the cups and handing them to Anthony and Toby.
“Why can’t we come?” Anthony demanded. “We could distract Thaddeus Thomas.”
“For pity’s sake, fine, come then.” He then held out his arms for their women.
“You may want to smile before we approach Lady Alice or that look will have her running for the hills,” Liberty said out of the side of her mouth.
“I need you to draw her away from the Thomas twins.”
“Really?” He could feel Evie’s eyes on the side of his face. “That’s an exciting development.”
“It absolutely is not a development, but I have something I must discuss with her,” Jamie said.
“Damn,” Evie muttered.
“I feel like a spare carriage wheel wandering along in his wake, while he monopolizes our wives,” Anthony said from behind them as he drank the lemonade.
“It is complicated, but I will tell you the reason I need to speak to her later. I promise.”
“Oh, well then, if you are promising, Jamie, I guess we must,” Liberty said. “I like her by the way.”
“As do I,” Evie agreed. “Determined, strong willed, and does not suffer fools. Her aunt is lovely too. Not sure about the father as I believe he lives in France, or so Anthony told me when we were discussing the perfect woman for you.”
“What?”
“You have excellent hearing, so I know you heard, Jamie.”
“Leave him alone, Evie,” her husband called from behind them. “He is looking a little panicky.”
“I am not panicky, but I will add that just because you are all experiencing wedded bliss, does not mean I must.”
His friends all gave him a look that suggested he was protesting too much, so rather than confirming their suspicions, he shut up.
He wouldn’t wed until he was ready, and then it would be comfortable. Someone like Lady Alice was likely the least comfortable woman he knew.