Chapter 31 Whole
I hear them arguing downstairs. They say my name a few times, and the name of their stepfather, Logan, but after that, they get strangely quiet. What’s happening?
I would lock the door, but I’m sure Oliver will keep the threat of Mason away.
He promised he’d protect me. I stand in his room, my mattress between me and the door, hands clenched, determined not to let Mason convince me to try again.
That’s what he’s here for. It has to be.
That look in his eyes when I saw him—that determined, predatory look…
It has to mean he wants me. And I can’t let him have me.
The silence goes on for so long I get worried. But then I hear footsteps coming upstairs. Oh, no. Oliver was supposed to protect me!
I lunge to lock the door, but I’m too late. Ever since the beginning, Mason has always been inevitable.
He always finds me.
He always sees the parts of me I’ve tried to hide.
He tempts me in the most irresistible ways, and I always, always give in. But not this time.
There’s no knock on the door. He just turns the handle and invites himself into Oliver’s room like he belongs there.
“Hey, Lane.”
No “Hey, puppy.” No smirk or glittering look in his eyes. There’s something raw in them now, something naked that I haven’t seen before, and it takes me aback for a second, but I can’t let it sway me.
I’m determined not to give him an inch, because when I have in the past, he takes a mile. He takes my heart, too. Swallows me whole. Makes me feel like I don’t matter, but I do matter—just maybe not to him. I can’t let him make me think otherwise so he can get me into bed.
“What are you doing here?” I snap.
“I just want to talk.”
I cross my arms and try to scowl, but in my chest, my heart is doing somersaults at the sight of him. Why does he always make my knees feel so weak and fill my stomach with annoying butterflies?
“Well, maybe I don’t want to talk to you,” I mutter.
“You don’t have to talk; you can just listen to what I have to say.”
He takes a step closer, and I take a step back, just like in the beginning. Unlike in the beginning, though, he stops when I flinch. He doesn’t step over the mattress to get to me; he doesn’t cross my boundaries, at least in that.
“I’m sorry, Lane.”
The softness in his voice makes tears burn behind my eyes. I turn away, hugging myself, closing my eyes so I don’t have to look at him.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
It’s not enough to just tell me he’s sorry, but part of me didn’t think he’d own up to it at all. I thought he’d just… take for granted that I’d want him back, that he didn’t even need to fight for it.
My heart is saying don’t let him hurt me again, but on the outside, I’m nodding, giving him permission to continue.
“I lied,” he says, and his hands clench at his sides.
“When?” The word comes out of me without thought. I wasn’t supposed to play along, wasn’t supposed to say anything, but I got too curious.
“When you asked me if this was real. And when… when I said you couldn’t have me in the way you want.”
“Okay,” I mutter. Don’t believe him. He’s just trying to trick you. He’s lying, even now. He just wants you back; he doesn’t want to know you. He doesn’t want to date you. He just wants to fuck you and treat you like shit.
“I was scared,” Mason continues, and when I look up, his eyes flick away before returning, watching my expression with a rare vulnerability.
His brows knit with worry, his mouth tightens, and there’s a softness to his face I haven’t seen before.
A searching, pleading look, as if he really, really wants me to believe him.
“Scared?”
“Scared that if you knew me—really knew me—you wouldn’t want me anymore. You’d think I was a bad person, like everyone else does.”
“Why would I think that?” My voice is barely a whisper, something I need to choke out lest I choke on my emotions instead.
“You don’t know what I did.”
“What you did?”
“My charge. Why I got locked up.”
“You didn’t kill someone, right?”
“No.”
Okay. That’s something.
“But I almost killed someone,” he continues.
I frown. “How do you almost kill someone?”
“By beating them to a pulp.”
I glance down at his hands—those strong, safe hands that have held me and pleasured me and made me feel safe. Maybe they’re not as safe as I thought.
“Why?” I ask, mouth dry.
He sighs. “Tess and I worked at a bar a few years back. It was my first job out of high school. I hadn’t turned twenty-one yet, but I looked old enough that the boss didn’t give a shit.
And as for Tess… Well, she’s a hot piece of ass, and she likes to show off, but it’s strictly for the ladies, if you catch my drift.
And the boss, uh… let’s just say he didn’t care. ”
“What do you mean?”
“He was all up in her business constantly. Making innuendos, checking her out while she was working, telling me about how badly he wanted to tap that. I was this close to punching him out every fucking shift, but I needed a job, and Tess and I had fun together, so I stayed.”
“What happened?”
“One night, we were having a few beers with some coworkers after our shift. Boss came and joined us, and shit wasn’t so fun after that, so Tess and I split. In the parking lot, I was right at my car when I heard her scream.”
I stare at him, completely engulfed in the story, dreading what’s coming next.
“It was the boss,” Mason mutters. “Had her against her car, feeling her up. And I guess I just… snapped. Had him on the ground before I could blink, beat him so hard my knuckles split.” He strokes a finger over his hand, lost in the memory.
“He fought back, but I kept him down. And I kept beating him. Tess screamed at me to stop, and someone called the cops—I don’t know who.
By the time they arrived, well… Let’s just say the pavement was covered in blood and teeth.
Tess tried to talk to the cops, explain what happened, but no one listened.
We both had shit on our records—she had some drug charges, and I had a DUI and some other shit. But the boss? All clear.”
I find that hard to believe. Even if he hadn’t been caught, it surely wasn’t the first time he’d done something like that.
“I got two years for aggravated assault,” Mason continues. “Tess got nothing, of course, but she lost her job.”
“What about the boss?”
“Last I heard, he was back up and running the bar.”
“That’s awful.”
“It’s how shit goes.”
“Yeah, but it still sucks.”
Mason shrugs, and after that, he’s silent for a beat. “Now what?” He glances away, jaw clenching. “Are you afraid of me?”
I look him over: his intimidating, muscular body, the way he holds himself, his obvious strength. I think of him as he must have looked in the moment—pissed off, out of control, reckless…
“I should’ve stopped,” he says, gaze dropping to the floor. “But I didn’t. That’s on me.”
“What if… what if it happens again?”
“I was supposed to get anger management in prison, but it fell through. Budget cuts or some shit, so I have to manage it on my own. Working out helps. If my body’s worn out, it helps me feel calm, at least somewhat. And, uh…” He looks up, meeting my eyes. “Sex helps even more.”
“Oh.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, but I know that’s not enough.”
“Is that why you wanted to… with me…”
“Why I wanted to fuck you? Hell no.” He flashes a smirk, but it fades quickly, and his gaze softens. “That was just because I wanted you so much. It wasn’t some elaborate plan; I just couldn’t keep my hands off you.”
“Because I’m Oliver’s friend?”
He frowns. “What do you mean?”
I fidget with the hem of my shirt. “Did you only like being with me because, um, because it felt fun for you that Oliver doesn’t like it?”
Mason shakes his head. “No, like I said; it wasn’t some elaborate plan. I just wanted you. The circumstances don’t matter to me. If anything, they just got in the way of me having you.”
“But you said that I liked the thrill of it. In the pool.”
“You didn’t?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Well, then we feel the same. Oliver or no Oliver, I’d still want you just as much.”
I flush, but I can’t let this go yet. “Are you afraid you’ll hurt me like that? Like you did to that man?”
Mason blinks. “You? No. God, no. I’d never lay a hand on you like that.
It wasn’t random; that guy… he wouldn’t leave Tess alone.
He pushed me until I snapped. You’d never give me a reason like that, and even if you did, I could never hurt you.
” His voice cracks, and for a moment, his face is so open, his expression so raw, I feel like I’m looking into his soul. And I believe him, but…
“You did hurt me,” I whisper. “Not like that, but…”
“I know.”
I look down, rolling the hem of my shirt and bunching it up in my hands.
This is hard for me to say, and I don’t know why.
“Sometimes… I feel like you want to own me like a pet, when I’ve never agreed to that.
” I heave a shaky sigh, tears welling in my eyes.
“It felt weird. Like I didn’t matter to you. ”
Mason looks pained. “I know. I’m sorry I’ve been an idiot. I’m sorry I haven’t proved it to you.”
“Proved what?”
“That I…” He takes a deep breath. “That I’m fucking crazy about you. I don’t want anything else. I could be left with nothing, naked to the world, but as long as I had you, I wouldn’t care.”
“I’m not just your puppy?”
“You’re not just my puppy. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Oh.” My voice is no more than a whisper, and I feel strange, like I’m floating. My chest is so warm, and my heart is beating so hard I don’t know what to do with myself.
“I know I fucked up,” Mason says. “I know I let you down. But if you give me another shot, I swear, Lane, I’ll never let you down like that again. I want to know you. Truly know you. Not just your body. You.”
I take a deep breath, feeling a little dizzy.
“Do you want to know me?” Mason asks, and he sounds unsure, as if he fears I’ll reject him.