Chapter 15
15
Aviva
A fter Jack got me off in the library, I threw myself into finding evidence against Coach Jensen with renewed vigor. And although I hated to admit it to myself, I knew it was in part to avoid thinking about Jack, or how I’d responded to him. Although at night, I’d have dreams about him touching me; in the morning I’d feel desperate, frustrated, forced to get myself off with my fingers as I fantasized about him tying me up again.
Since the Reddit angle hadn’t panned out, I turned to Tovah for help.
“What about seeing what Lucy or Leslie know?” she asked.
Lucy and Leslie were students at Tabb, and friends of Tovah’s, even though they were both freshmen. I’d met them through Tovah a few times, and since Leslie was engaged to Tabb’s hockey team’s left wing, Mason Calloway, and Lucy’s guardian was Tabb’s hockey coach, Blake Samson, they might be able to find something out. Although I had my doubts Coach Samson knew anything. From what Lucy had reluctantly told us, he was a stickler for rules, decorum, and respect—something that pissed Lucy off to no end. Mason, however, was possibly as unhinged as Jack, but would do literally anything to make Leslie happy.
Part of me worried about saying anything to either girl. They were Tovah’s friends, not mine, and Lucy especially seemed like a talker. I’d made a promise to Asher not to tell anyone anything, and I’d be breaking my promise and his trust by saying something. But I was running out of ideas, and I hoped they could help.
Feeling guilty, I texted my brother.
im coming home for october break
He responded immediately.
you don’t have to. flights from california to NY are too expensive
His words made me feel even worse. I couldn’t tell him I was only a few hours away by train; Gehenom wasn’t that far from our aunt’s home—our home—in Queens.
im coming home. i miss you. how are you doing?
you asked me that yesterday
and the day before
and the day before that…
because I care about you, and i want to make sure you’re doing okay. did you get the orange juice with the pulp in it?
yes. and before you ask, i’ve been seeing the counselor twice a week, and it’s helping.
Relief filled me like a cool drink of water for a parched throat.
im glad you’re going. kendrick lamar is headlining the super bowl half time show, did you see?
I watched as the ellipses danced on the screen. Finally:
haven’t been online. don’t wanna see anything about hockey or reina
What could I say to that?
you really don’t have to come home.
im coming home
I was. I’d find the money somewhere.
ill see you in a couple weeks. love you, buttface
not as much as i love you, farthead.
I smiled. Asher hadn’t called me by his other childhood nickname for me in a long time, and it was a sign he was doing better, even if only a little.
But he was still avoiding hockey. The thing he loved most, other than me. I wiped away the tears that spilled down my face.
I was going to get it back for him.
And make Coach Jensen pay.
Someone knocked on our door.
I padded over the door in fluffy socks, opening it.
No one was there, but there was a small package on the ground. I hadn’t ordered anything, so it must be Tovah’s.
Going back into the apartment, I glanced at the package.
My name was scrawled on it in big, block letters.
Filled with foreboding, I considered tossing the package in the trash, but curiosity got the better of me.
Opening it, I retrieved a small baggie, containing one white, nondescript pill.
Fuck, was it cyanide? Was he trying to kill me now?
There was a note on top.
TAKE ME.
Yeah fucking right. I wasn’t an idiot.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down. I’d saved Jack’s number as “Jackass.” It gave me a tiny bit of satisfaction, even though seeing his name appear in my texts made my heart skip and then stutter to a halt.
Did you get the package?
im not taking your pill
for all I know, it’s poison
It’s not poison .
Sure it wasn’t.
what kind of sociopath texts in full properly punctuated sentences anyway
Being grammatically correct doesn’t make me a sociopath, princess. Ignoring societal mores and so-called ethics to get what I want and what I know other people need? That makes me a sociopath.
Speaking of which, we should meet up again to work on our project.
nah, it’s the capitalization
and the rapeyness
He was relentless.
Take the pill.
what is it
Vixen.
i thought you said you weren’t a drug dealer
and i’m not taking your date rape drug
I’m not a drug dealer, I happen to know who deals. And it’s an aphrodisiac, not a date rape drug.
still not taking it
You think you have a choice? When are you going to learn?
this is going too fucking far Jack
it’s one thing to let you…do things to me, fully conscious
Do “things” to you?
ykwim
I do know what you mean. You mean me fucking that tight little innocent pussy whenever and wherever I want, because you aren’t allowed to tell me no, remember?
Or I’ll go directly to the administration and tell them Asher Gold told his sister, Aviva Gold, to break into the hockey locker room and plant evidence against Coach Jensen.
And then Asher can say goodbye to ANY future in hockey, and you can say goodbye to a college degree. Going to be hard to become a psychologist without one, isn’t it?
My teeth grinded together at the text. I hated him so much. He was taunting me, and I knew it. Because I had no way of winning against him. But I wasn’t taking his fucking aphrodisiac-roofie-bullshit.
maybe ill go to professor johnathan and tell him what you’re doing
There was no response. My heart pounded faster. Had I actually found a way out of this?
Don’t you ever use that sleezy moron against me.
Besides, my brothers have leverage against him, and his entire family. He won’t do anything against me, even if he wants to. How do you think I switched into your seminar in the first place?
I stilled, staring at my phone screen. It explained so much, but it also meant I had no other option.
Take it now, and come to the hockey house tonight. Or I’ll ruin yours and Asher’s lives. Don’t test me, Aviva.
Dress nice. We’re having a special party.
And you’re the guest of honor.
That same foreboding from earlier washed over me. Chills broke out over my skin. I could guess what sort of party it was. But Jack was right. What choice did I possibly have?
And with foreboding, a tingle all over my body that I couldn’t deny. Excitement. I was excited. I was sick in the head, because the idea of taking an aphrodisiac, only to be at Jack’s mercy, turned me on.
I didn’t respond to the text, but opened the small baggie and located a bottle of water.
“We’re all mad here,” I muttered, before placing the pill on my tongue and swallowing it down.