Chapter 41
41
Aviva
“ M aybe we should watch something,” Leslie said cheerily. “Don’t you guys like Ted Lasso? ”
“Maybe we should tranquilize her,” Lucy muttered. “It might make her stop pacing.”
“Aviva, take a deep breath,” Tovah ordered, watching me with concerned eyes.
All three girls were in Tovah’s and my apartment. Lucy and Leslie had been sent to keep me company by way of Mason, and Tovah had come home as soon as I’d texted an S.O.S.
“I’m worried,” I explained.
I wasn’t worried, I was terrified. Not only because there was so much riding on Jack finding the evidence. I’d seen the kind of man Joshua Jensen was. The DSM didn’t have a code for evil, but it leaked from his eyes all the same. If he caught Jack, what was to say Joshua wouldn’t hurt him—or worse ?
Tovah scoffed. “Please elucidate on how we went from ‘Jack Feldman’s an abusive bully who belongs in prison’ to ‘Jack Feldman’s my boyfriend, I love him, and I’m scared he’ll come to harm.” I’d caught the girls up on some of what had happened.
I sighed. “If I tell you everything, you’ll hate him more.”
“That doesn’t fill me with confidence, Aviva.”
Finally sitting on the couch, I explained everything, sharing the whole story—minus some of the more salacious details. Tovah listened without speaking, but I could see the anger, the judgment, on her face.
“You don’t have to worry about the coach hurting him, because I’m going to,” she announced when I was done.
Leslie and Lucy looked at each other.
“Here we go again,” Lucy giggled.
Leslie was gentler. “Tovah, as someone who’s been there…you don’t understand it unless you’re in it.”
Tovah, skeptical, raised an eyebrow. “I’ll take your word for it.”
I scooted around to look at her. “Jack’s so much more than his early actions. He loves me, and yes, his love is brutal and intense, painful and all-consuming, but he’s gentle, too. Tender, too. He wants me safe, and happy, and unlike other men—he’ll do anything to make sure both happen. He sees me, and he loves what he sees, and we understand each other. I know you don’t get it, but please, at least accept it. And if loving him is crazy, then I don’t want to be sane.”
“Fine.” Tovah threw up her hands. “I’ll accept him, but I reserve the right to kick his ass.”
I cracked a smile. “I’ll let him know.”
“So Ted Lasso ?”
I nodded. “ Ted Lasso . ”
As they settled in, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out, hoping it was Jack.
But it was from an unknown number.
I have that evidence you’re after.
My stomach dropped.
who is this?
You know who it is, Ms. Gold. Come—alone—and I’ll give you the evidence.
I snorted. Like I was going to fall for that. I didn’t know how Joshua Jensen had figured out what I was looking for, but I wasn’t going to let him get me alone, or he’d hurt me.
But if Joshua Jensen knew, what did that mean for Jack?
I texted him.
did you find it? coach jensen texted me, I think he’s onto us
No response.
Another text appeared from the unknown number.
If you’re trying to reach Jack, don’t worry, he’s with me.
Or maybe do worry, because he’s with me at Hallister Hall right now.
If you’re not at my office in twenty minutes, then Jack gets the fate I was saving for you.
My heart began to race. I wanted to puke. He had Jack. What was he going to do to him?
why would you hurt him? you care about him!
I care about the team more. The Kings need me, and I won’t sacrifice that—or them. For anything or anyone.
Clock’s ticking, Ms. Gold.
I texted Jack again.
No response.
I called him.
It rang through to voicemail.
“Aviva, what’s wrong?” Tovah asked sharply. “You’re pacing again.”
“Nothing, just want to talk to Asher,” I said, hoping she couldn’t hear the tremor in my voice. “Feel free to start the show without me, I’ve seen them all a million times.”
I headed down the hall to my bedroom, thinking through my options. But it came down to one thing:
I knew it was a trap.
I didn’t care.
Nothing would happen to Jack. I wouldn’t let it. If it meant sacrificing myself for him, then so be it. I’d do it willingly, to protect him—just like he’d protected me so many times, even when he’d thought he hadn’t wanted to. It was my turn now.
I swallowed. What did they say about bravery? That it wasn’t the absence of fear, but acting in spite of it?
Maybe Jack and Tovah were right. Maybe I was brave after all. I’d have to be.
I’m on my way, baby , I thought. Please be safe.
Please let him be safe.
I learned the hard way that there was no easy way to climb out of a window.
I fell on my ass, and something in my ankle hurt. I must have twisted it.
I had to hurry. Nauseating visions of what the coach could be doing to Jack flipped through my head like a horror story. I practically ran to campus, trying to ignore the sharp pain in my right ankle. I’d deal with it later.
Campus was quiet, empty in the dark night. Students were at the bars, partying at frat houses, studying at the library. No one would be at Hallister except me, possibly that security guard who hated me, Coach Jensen and Jack.
But then Jack’s face flashed in my mind’s eye. The earnest look on his face when he promised to crawl over glass to make me happy—I couldn’t lose that. Couldn’t lose him. He’d fought so hard for me, put himself at risk to give me what I wanted. It was my job, now, to make sure he was safe. I’d do more than crawl over glass, I’d fight through fire. Like anyone desperately in love would do if they were in my shoes.
Said shoes traipsed their way into the unlocked building, up the stairs to Joshua Jensen’s office.
The door was open.
And Jack was nowhere to be seen.
Inside, Joshua sat behind his desk, watching something raptly on his laptop.
“Ah, Aviva,” he said. “Come here, I want to show you something.”
“Where is he?” I demanded .
The coach’s lips quirked. “Ah, I may have…fibbed a little.”
Fuck.
I turned, ready to run, but to my horror, the door shut behind me—and locked with a resounding click.
“A little birthday gift from Jack. He thought it was funny, me being able to close the door with a button. Comes in handy sometimes. Now, come take a look.”
My throat went tight.
“I’m not sure I want to see whatever it is,” I told him.
“Are you sure? It’s your evidence.”
Bile filled my mouth at the insinuation, burning my throat. The idea of seeing my brother hurt in real time…
Reaching into my pocket, I typed in the passcode and swiped up on record. If something happened to me, at least whatever the Coach said would download to the cloud. Maybe I’d still get justice that way.
Maybe Jack would find out what had happened to me.
It was the most I could hope for.
“Evidence for what?” I asked, playing dumb.
He glanced at me, shaking his head, smile still in place. “Evidence for having sex with your brother. I did, by the way. He wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last.”
“You didn’t have sex with him,” I said, glaring. “You assaulted him. Raped him.”
He shrugged. “If that’s what Asher’s saying to make himself feel better. All I did was help myself to what I already deserve.”
“What do you mean by deserve?”
“I’ve saved these young men. Trained them. Given them everything, so they’ll have everything. I’m a leader in this community, and a well respected one. So why shouldn’t I get to have a … slice of pie every now and then? Who does it hurt?”
“My brother,” I spat, disgusted. Joshua Jensen thought he was above right and wrong, above the law. That he was owed sex with his players, like droit du seigneur. But he was no king, just a pathetic, greedy man who’d smelled his own bullshit too often and was drunk on the fumes.
“Are you jealous, Aviva? Do you want what your brother got? I’m willing to give it to you.”
He winked at me. I shuddered.
“You’d assault me like you assaulted my brother?” I asked, calmly and clearly, even though my heart was racing. I just needed to get him to admit it on the recording.
“Yes,” he said, eyes flashing, grinning in an almost macabre smile. “And like your brother, you’ll like it.”
Got him. I’d done some research before I transferred: New York was a one-party consent state. Even though the coach didn’t know I was recording him, it would hold up in court.
If there even was a court case. If he ever got caught.
I had to believe he would.
But Jensen’s eyes narrowed on my hand, still in my pocket.
“Are you recording me, you little bitch?”
And then he was up out of his chair and standing in front of me. I didn’t know how he’d moved so fast.
“Give me your phone.”
“Go to hell.”
He reached for me. My heart sped up. I tried the door again behind me, but it was still locked. I tried to duck past him—even though I had no idea where to go—but he caught me by the wrist and dragged me forward. Sliding his hand into my pocket, he pulled out my phone, dangling it in front of my face; a taunt. “I’ll be taking this with me. You, however, are staying.”
I fought him. I really did. I scratched and clawed. He slapped my face, punched me in the stomach. I doubled over in his arms, but I wasn’t losing that easily. I bit his ear, tasting blood.
Angrily, he tossed me across the room, and my head smacked against one of the nearly-empty bookshelves. A book toppled and fell on top of me, and, dazed, I was bemused to realize it was The Art of War.
As my ears rang, he approached me, dragged me across the floor, and then he was tying my arms together and looping the rope around one of the feet of the huge, mahogany desk. I struggled weakly but it was no use, I wasn’t going anywhere.
Oh god.
What was he going to do to me.
Jack, I thought. I need you.
But Jack didn’t come.
“What are you doing?” I managed to croak, although part of me knew.
Jensen confirmed it when he began pouring a bottle of whiskey on the floor, around me, all over his office. The whiskey made my clothes stick to my skin, a tease of future horrors.
“Why? Why do this?” I managed to croak. Speaking felt like chewing on sawdust. “Why hurt me? It’s one thing to be convicted of sexual assault, another of murder”
I thought I saw him shrug. “I have your phone. I’ll use it to send a suicide email. You were so distraught over learning your brother’s lies, you decided to burn down the building, and got caught in the flames. I’m a leader in this community; no one will suspect me. ”
Oh god.
He continued to pour out the whiskey as he talked. “It wouldn’t have come to this if you had only let this go. But you were too committed to your little crusade. Tried to ruin not only my life, but Jack’s and my team’s as well. I refuse to let you hurt those boys—or me. They’re too important. Their futures are too important—especially Jack’s.”
“You don’t care about them,” I told him angrily. “You don’t care about him. If you did?—”
“People are complex, Ms. Gold,” he said. “It’s something you would have learned as you grew older—unfortunately, you aren’t going to get that chance.”
“Jack won’t believe you,” I said desperately. “He’ll get justice for me. He?—”
“Jack’s young,” he interrupted calmly. “Still malleable. I’ve been the most important person in his life for years, he’ll listen to me. You’re so hellbent on your so-called justice, you think everyone else will be, too. But people aren’t as pure of heart as you think they are. I know Jack, I know what matters to him. It’s hockey. Not some girl he liked to fuck.”
But he didn’t know Jack, not really.
I did.
“You’re crazy if you really think that will happen.”
He chuckled. “Maybe I am.”
He moved toward the door and opened it, pulling something out of his pocket. “Have a nice life, Aviva. For however short it is.”
There was that macabre smile again. True evil.
I heard a click. Through my blurry vision, I thought I saw a lighter. Flame. Thought I saw him drop it on the ground.
The door opened and shut .
The flame burst out on the wooden floor, grew, and spread. Heat surrounded me as the fire spread, and I could barely see through the smoke.
It couldn’t end this way. I wasn’t going to survive this. And all I wanted was one more chance to tell Jack I loved him.
“Wait!” I begged the closed door. “Please.”
From outside the office, a key turned in the door.
And locked it.