Chapter 71
Chapter seventy-one
Alisa
When we returned to the apartment, Dmitri held me as the weight of the day threatened to crush me. Each brush of his hand across my damp face left traces of warmth. Soon, Dmitri’s shirt was completely drenched by my tears, but I didn’t feel embarrassed or the need to hide.
A couple of times, I noticed him stroking his switchblade with vengeance in his eyes, but he didn’t leave my side.
He kissed my forehead and told me he loved me.
I held onto those three words along with the mumbled promises into my hair. As the tears flowed, I finally allowed myself to acknowledge my pain, and truly mourn for the child they’d hurt.
With each memory, I gripped tighter onto Dmitri. My pain was reflected in his eyes, and I knew that even though it might take time for me to heal, he’d be with me every step of the way.
The next day, Dmitri arrived home late with a new book series for me to read. It didn’t escape my attention that he was wearing a completely different suit than the one he’d left the house in that morning.
I had no doubt, it’d been ruined with the blood of my parents. And yet I couldn’t find any tears to mourn them.
“I love you,” I said, nestling into his safe, warm chest.
“I love you, too. You deserved better than them.”
Both our phones buzzed at the same time, stealing the response from my mind. Reluctantly, I reached into my pocket.
As I read the contents of the text, not even the reassuring feel of his body could keep me from trembling.
The last test.
A solo mission.
Foreign words drifted around me as I looped through the heart of the Cosa Nostra. I adjusted the sleeves on my catering outfit and stepped into the shadows of the Amato family’s brownstone.
If I ever doubted the Pakhan wanted me dead, this mission had erased all doubts.
The Pakhan had ordered me to kill Selene Amato, the wife of the most prominent mafia don in the city.
According to the rumors, Selene’s husband Sebastiano had tortured his own brother, and smiled while he watched him choke on his own blood.
All because Sebastiano’s brother had dared to hurt his wife.
If Sebastiano did that to his own family, I shivered to think what his retribution would be if he caught a whiff of what I was planning. And it wasn’t like his wife was some pushover, she’d murdered plenty of people herself.
Of course, the Pakhan hadn’t ordered me to take her out in a neutral area where I could flee. No, he’d sent me into a den of lions who would trap me the moment they realized the Italian mafioso’s wife was in danger.
It’d take a miracle for me to survive the night…
And the Pakhan had made it clear that to fail this mission meant a prolonged death at his men’s hands.
It was a relief that Dmitri had been assigned to a separate mission. At least, one of us had a chance at surviving this competition.
Okay, let’s be real, Dmitri was definitely surviving his own mission. When it came to him, I couldn’t think of a single weakness. He probably was already done with it, boredly waiting for everyone else to finish up.
While subtly eying the exits I doubted I’d have the chance to use, I followed behind someone else wearing an identical catering outfit. When we entered the formal dining room, I fingered the poison in my pocket that I was planning to sneak into Selene’s dinner.
When I spotted Selene and Sebastiano Amato sitting at the head of the table, I nearly cracked the vial in half. But it wasn’t Sebastiano’s alert expression as he skimmed the room that alarmed me.
No, what was constricting my throat was the sight of Selene cradling her swollen belly.
My target was pregnant.
Very pregnant.
I bit down hard on my cheek as I realized I’d been sent on a truly impossible assignment. In my entire life, I’d only ever failed one important mission. The one that had resulted in my brother’s death….
Breathe.
I could hear Dmitri’s commanding tone in my mind, and somehow it calmed me. More than anything, I wished Dmitri was actually here. That he could tug me in close, and I’d listen to his steady breaths until it was all I could hear.
But I was on my own.
I followed another caterer further into this monstrously vast house.
“Where’s the bathroom?” I asked with a forced smile.
“There’s one in there,” he said.
He nodded towards the ajar door of a guest bedroom, and I forced one foot in front of another.
I locked myself in the room’s en-suite bathroom then laid my head against the cool marble tiles encompassing the walls.
Breathe.
Even though I desperately needed to stay focused on the present, memories of the last assignment before my brother died turned the room dim.
Two Years Ago
A toddler with a wide gap between his baby teeth was giggling as he hid in the department store from his mother. She was too busy checking her phone to even notice he’d left her side.
“Alisa,” my brother’s voice reverberated into my microscopic earpiece. “This is your opportunity. His mom isn’t even paying attention.”
Nausea burned my stomach as I stared at the boy. In my lifetime, I’d killed a lot of people and had eventually become numb to it.
But this….
The little boy covered his mouth in an attempt to hold back his giggles as he crouched lower in his hiding spot behind the fur coats.
They’d told me that the target had a severe peanut allergy. What they’d failed to inform me was that I was supposed to kill a fucking child.
“Alisa,” Kiril’s voice was more urgent in my ear. He was aware that the consequences would be deadly if I didn’t succeed on this mission. “Just brush the peanut residue against his sippy cup, and then get the fuck out of there.”
Sippy cup.
The boy wasn’t even old enough to have a normal cup, and yet the Pakhan had ordered me to kill him. How was this supposed to be okay? How could I even live with myself if I killed a defenseless child?
The boy’s big blue eyes met my own, and his lips swelled into a mischievous smile that showed off more of his baby teeth. What kind of person orders someone dead when they haven’t even been given the chance to grow adult teeth?
His eyes stayed locked on my own, a curious glint shining now.
“Do it, Alisa!” Kiril’s agitation was apparent.
But I couldn’t stop staring at those eyes, because it was like looking into a mirror from my childhood. Before my father had started beating me, before I knew what it was to fear everyone around me, before my innocence had been shattered.
In that moment, I knew beyond a doubt I could lure him over, and stage it so that it looked like he’d gotten into some peanuts. With his mom still engrossed in her phone I could get away before anyone noticed.
Instead I walked away, knowing with each step out of the department store that my life would now be forfeit.
I’d had no idea my brother would be the one to pay the ultimate price.
Tears were streaking down my cheeks as I blinked away the memories. Even as the room came into focus, those big blue eyes still haunted me.
I bit down hard on my cheek as I scrubbed at the trail of liquid winding down my face.
If I failed this mission to kill Selene, I’d never see Dmitri again.
I’d never nestle into his arms again while he whispered absolutely filthy things in my ear.
I’d never be able to tell him how much I loved him, how he changed my life.
Footsteps padded into the bedroom, and two voices drifted towards me.
“How are you feeling, Selene?” I recognized the voice of Sebastiano Amato.
“I don’t know,” Selene responded, and I prayed that her pregnant body didn’t need the bathroom.
If anyone saw my tear-streaked face, there’d be questions that I couldn’t afford to answer. I swallowed, and discreetly double checked the bathroom door was locked.
“Come here, baby.”
Moments later, a bed creaked.
Oh for fuck’s sake. If one of the last things I ever heard before I died was the sounds of their fuck fest, I’d haunt them for the rest of my existence.
Instead, the soft sound of a sob creeped towards me.
“I’m so scared, Sebastian,” Selene said. “I don’t know the first thing about raising a child. All I’m good at is killing people, not-”
“Selene,” he interrupted her in a soothing voice. “It’s going to be okay.”
“How do you know that?” her voice was hysterical.
“Because I know you.” He took a deep breath.“Better than I know myself.”
Selene sniffled, and it sounded like Sebastian drew her further into his arms.
“So I know how protective you are of the ones you care about,” Sebastian said. “Like if someone ever tried to hurt our baby-”
“I’d die before I let that happen,” Selene snarled.
“And that’s why you’ll be an amazing mom.” He paused, and then his voice turned hard. “But you know I would never let it come to that.”
There was a cold finality to his words that told me if he ever discovered that I’d even considered harming his wife, that he’d torture me for days before allowing me the mercy of death.
“I’ve got you, amore mio. Let’s get back to the party.”
As their footsteps faded, I slumped against the wall. In my mind’s eye, the toddler I’d saved was still grinning up at me with that mischievous glint.
Even before I’d heard Selene talk about her unborn baby, I’d known that I couldn’t go through with this mission. I couldn’t kill an innocent child before they even had the opportunity to experience this fucked up world.
If only my own parents had cared as much as those two when I was younger, I would’ve had such a different life. I dug my nails into my skin to keep from crying. If they’d actually loved me, then they wouldn’t have volunteered me to live a life where I was forced to make these impossible choices.
Maybe one day Dmitri and I could have our own little girl who we could protect-
I stopped that image in its tracks.
It was too painful to imagine right before my inevitable death.